"I kind of thought that he'd be naked," Mikey said.
Frank looked over. Mikey was chewing his thumbnail, eyes fixed on the Vatican doctor who was moving quietly around the bed.
"You know," Mikey went on. "Like Angel. Or the Cylons?"
Frank nodded, slowly. "Or the Terminator."
Mikey laughed, suddenly, then stopped, then started again, giggling helplessly. He leaned heavily against Frank's side and wheezed, "The Terminator isn't dead, you dumb shit, it's time travel."
Frank didn't know why it was funny, but it was, it was the funniest fucking thing he'd ever heard in his life and he laughed too, trying to keep it down and avoid the suspicious glances from the doctor. He turned his face into Mikey's shoulder to muffle the sound - he could feel Mikey shaking with laughter, both of them struggling for composure and breath.
"The Terminator," Mikey hacked out, and Frank lost it completely, clinging to Mikey and laughing until he felt weak all over. "Frank," Mikey giggled, "Frank, he's alive."
"I know," Frank sniggered, flattening his hands over his stomach in an effort to calm down.
"Guys," Brian hissed. "Keep it together, for fuck's sake."
He was using his sternest voice, but it only made Frank laugh harder.
"He seems to be unharmed," the doctor said, and Frank managed to calm down enough to listen to him. "If he doesn't regain consciousness in the next twelve hours we'll run some more tests."
"For what?" Brian wanted to know.
"The best thing you can do for him now is let him rest," the doctor went on, avoiding the question. He indicated the two nuns who were assisting. "The sisters will take good care of him."
"Not going to happen," Mikey said immediately.
The doctor frowned. "It would really be best if-"
"He said he's staying," Frank interrupted, meeting the doctor's eyes. "And so are the rest of us."
"It's all right, Vincent," said the Cardinal, appearing suddenly in the doorway. "Let them stay."
"But," the doctor protested, only to be silenced by a wave of the Cardinal's hand.
"They are Father Way's closest companions. It can only do him good to have them here when he wakes."
Ray looked up. "So you think he will? Wake up?"
"I certainly hope so. I think everyone here has questions they would like answered."
Personally Frank didn't care if Gerard couldn't answer a single one, as long as he woke up. He bit his tongue, though. He just didn't trust the Cardinal at all - he seemed like he was on their side, sort of, but after everything that happened with Luke, Frank just wasn't sure.
He did convince the nurses that they should stay just outside the room instead of in, though, which Frank was grateful for. As soon as the door closed behind them Mikey was up and on the bed with Gerard, touching him anxiously; his hand, his face. "Should we try to wake him?"
"I don't think so," said Ray. "I mean, sleep is the way the body heals itself, right?"
"But the doctor said his body's fine," Mikey protested, laying his hands on Gerard's shoulders. "If it was me I'd want him to wake me up."
Brian shook his head. "If he didn't wake up from getting transported back here and put into bed and prodded by the doctors and you two," he indicated Frank, "doing your best impressions of hyenas, then he probably isn't ready."
Mikey didn't look convinced, but he settled back a little, propping himself on one elbow to watch Gerard's face. "I'm glad I didn't call my Mom," he said.
Frank knew Brian and Ray were right, that it was best to leave Gerard to sleep, but it was excruciating waiting for him to wake up. He was right there, looking exactly the same as before except maybe he was a little paler than usual. It was his face and his hands and more than anything Frank wanted him to wake up so they could hear his voice.
At the same time, though, he was scared of what might happen. They didn't know where Gerard had been, what had happened to him, if he was going to be the same person as he was before he died. Plus somewhere really deep down Frank was worried Gerard might still be mad at him. God knew Frank was mad at Gerard, he was fucking furious, the fury that comes after the initial stomach-flipping high of intense relief. He didn't trust himself not to punch Gerard in the face, or kiss him, or both, and neither was anything other than a terrible idea. He wrapped his fingers firmly around the arms of his chair and promised himself he'd stay in it until he knew he could keep it together.
Time seemed to stretch out while they waited - there was nothing to say, so they didn't speak, just sat and watched Gerard sleep. He was so still and silent, and he looked smaller than Frank remembered, although that was probably just the giant bed, the vast expanse of white sheets. Frank's Mom always said everybody looks smaller on white sheets, and she should know, she'd racked up enough hours sitting by hospital beds with Frank. He was thinking about how much hospital food sucked when Gerard made a noise, a cough or something, and Mikey sat up, leaning over him.
"Gerard?" he said, stroking Gerard's hair gently away from his face. "Gerard, can you hear me?"
Nobody moved for an endless second, and then Gerard stirred, opening his eyes and blinking up at Mikey.
"Mikey?" he said, clearing his throat when his voice came out all scratchy. "Are you - where's Pete?"
"What?" Mikey shook his head.
Gerard started trying to sit up and Mikey helped him, pulling him upright. "Did it work? Is Pete okay?"
Mikey just shook his head again, then made a strangled noise and threw himself at Gerard, wrapping his arms around him and rocking him back and forth. "Thank God," he said, muffled in Gerard's shoulder. "You're okay, you're okay, you're okay."
Over Mikey's shoulder, Gerard looked completely baffled. He hugged Mikey back, and said, "I'm fine, Mikey. I'm sorry if I scared you."
"Scared me?" Mikey held Gerard out at arms length and shook him a little. "You were dead, you giant asshole!"
"What?" Gerard kind of smiled, like he thought Mikey was playing a trick, then the smile faded as he looked around the room, took in his surroundings and the rest of them staring at him. "What...are we at the Vatican?"
Frank's ears started ringing as Mikey explained what had happened to Gerard - he could see Gerard's face, see the confusion and the disbelief written there, see Mikey shaking his head and laying his hands on Gerard's arms, insisting, but he couldn't hear what was being said. All he could do was stare, even when Gerard pushed the covers back and, with Mikey's help, got out of the bed to stand on his own two feet.
"This is really weird," he said, looking around the room. "This is...this is really weird."
Suddenly Bob pushed away from the corner he'd been standing in and grabbed Gerard up in a hug, almost pulling him off his feet. Gerard disappeared from view behind Bob's shoulder, but Frank saw his hand pat Bob's back tentatively when Bob said, muffled, "Don't do that. Don't do that, okay?"
"Okay," Gerard promised, clearly bewildered. Bob let him go after a minute, and Gerard got hugged by Ray and Brian as well, getting more and more flustered. His hands were jittering around all over the place and his cheeks were flushed by the time Brian let him go. There was a moment's silence, and Gerard looked over to Frank. His eyes widened, like he hadn't expected Frank to be there, and he took a couple of steps forward. "Frank?"
Frank was still sitting in his chair. His hands were still wrapped tightly around the arms; the skin over his knuckles, when he looked at it, had gone white and he could feel the grooves in the wood digging painfully into his palms, but he couldn't make himself let go yet.
Gerard shifted uncertainly from foot to foot. "I'm glad you're okay," he offered timidly.
Frank made a noise that he couldn't have classified if you'd paid him, halfway between a laugh and a bark, and stood up involuntarily. His hands were shaking now he'd let go of the chair and he clenched them into fists, hiding them from view. "You stupid motherfucker," he heard himself say, in a voice that shook and seemed far, far away. "You asshole. I told you I had it covered!"
"But I couldn't let anything happen to you," Gerard said anxiously, taking another step towards Frank and then stopping, his hands hanging limply by his sides. "Frankie."
"Don't you think I felt the same?" Frank demanded. His face felt hot and he knew he was shaking all over - he wished the others would leave, or look away, or something. He felt stripped open and exposed, there was too much feeling inside him and he didn't know what to do with it all. He was being pulled in a thousand directions, like his body wasn't under his control and he had to stay still because he didn't know what it was going to do next.
He felt something on the back of his hand - he looked down and it was Gerard's fingers, resting lightly there. He looked up again and saw Gerard's face, closer this time, his forehead furrowed and his mouth turned down at the corners in a worried, pursed-up frown. "You're still angry with me," he said, and then Frank didn't know what happened but the next thing he knew he had wrapped Gerard up in his arms and was hugging him so tight it probably hurt.
Gerard didn't seem to mind, though, he hugged back and let Frank cling to him, let him bury his face against Gerard's throat. It hurt not to kiss him, it physically hurt, but Frank wasn't going to ask for that anymore, he'd made a promise, so he just rocked Gerard back and forth a little bit and squeezed him tighter. "I'm sorry," he said, quietly so only Gerard would hear. "I wanted to tell you that I was sorry."
"Me too," Gerard said. He touched the back of Frank's neck. "I'm just glad that you're all right."
I'm not, Frank thought, but he didn't say that, he just took deep breaths and lifted his head a little. When he opened his eyes, all he saw was the wall - the other guys were behind him, he realized, so he pressed his cheek against Gerard's and hid a secret kiss in his hair, back behind his ear where nobody would ever find it.
"We should tell the doctor you're awake," Brian said when Frank finally managed to let go. "I'll ask the sisters to call him."
The doctor ordered all of them outside except Mikey, while he was examining Gerard. When he went away muttering and let them back in, Frank immediately told Gerard about running into Luke.
"And the Cardinal said you knew," he remembered suddenly. "Is that true?"
Gerard looked intensely uncomfortable. He fidgeted with his collar and his sleeves before admitting, "I knew."
"And you didn't tell us?" Frank raised his voice, he couldn't help it, he was so mad. "Gerard, what the fuck?"
"I can't tell you everything, Frank!" Gerard raised his voice in return. "You know that! And what good would it have done for you to know? It's not like I ever thought you were going to come over here, is it?"
"Tell them what the Cardinal said," Mikey interrupted suddenly, his voice tight with anger. Frank looked at him and noticed that he was so pale he was almost gray. "Tell them what he said when they were out of the room."
Frank frowned. "What did he say?"
Gerard shook his head. "Mikey, this isn't the time. Let me talk to him and then-"
"What did he say?" Frank demanded.
Gerard hesitated, then sighed and rubbed his face with both hands. "He said that you guys have to go home," he said tiredly. "He said I can't work with you anymore."
Frank had been expecting that since day one, he'd always known it would happen, but that didn't stop it feeling like a kick to the guts. He said, "Oh, well, of course," and then turned around and slammed his fist against the wall as hard as he could. "Fuck this place, seriously."
"Seconded," Bob agreed.
Ray leaned forward, looking troubled. "What are you going to do?"
"What do you think he's going to do, Ray?" Mikey snapped. "He has to do what they tell him."
"Why?" Frank burst out, spinning around to look at Gerard again. "Why can't we just leave, all of us together? What are they going to do, arrest you?"
"They could dismiss me," Gerard said quietly.
Frank bit his tongue as hard as he could so he wouldn't say, "Good." He threw himself back into his chair and folded his arms, waiting for Gerard to tell them to get out.
"But I think you're right."
Frank's head snapped up to see the others gaping at Gerard. "Excuse me?"
"After everything that went down, I don't feel right just sending you guys away. What if those guys in the hoods come after you again?" Gerard shook his head, his jaw set firmly. "I'm not going to just abandon you, that's not right."
Brian stood up and jittered a little in place, ready to do something practical. "What do you want to do?"
"I don't want to stay here without you," Gerard said slowly. "Maybe if we can get out of here just long enough to figure out what's going on, and then I can talk to the Cardinal again and make him see that he's being unreasonable."
Ray frowned. "How can we figure out what's going on if we're not here?" he said. "Gee, this is crazy. We need to talk to the Cardinal now."
"He's not going to tell us shit!" Frank argued.
"But how will we even get out?" Ray waved his hands. "They must have guards and shit."
"He's not under arrest," Brian said.
Ray rolled his eyes. "I know that, but do you think they're just going to let him walk out of here when he just recently returned from the dead?"
"I know a way out," Gerard said. "It's not exactly scenic, but it'll work."
Bob scowled. "See, we have to fucking jailbreak. I said we were prisoners. I said."
Ray sighed. "We're not prisoners, Bob, don't be such a drama queen-"
The bickering continued - Frank tuned them out and focused his attention on Mikey, who was sitting close to Gerard, looking carefully at his face. "Do you think this is the right thing to do?" he said quietly, holding Gerard's hand. "You wouldn't rather stay and talk to them?"
"I'm sure," said Gerard.
Mikey's forehead creased. "It just - it just doesn't seem like you."
Frank held his breath. They were so close and if Mikey talked Gerard into changing his mind now...
"You'd know," Gerard said, covering Mikey's hand with both of his own. "You'd know if it wasn't me."
Mikey's face cleared and he sat back a little. "Yeah," he said. "Yeah, I would."
"But I don't - shit, I don't have my fucking passport," Gerard said, agitated.
"Uh," said Brian, raising his hand. "I do."
Everyone stared at him.
"What?" Brian said, shifting uncomfortably. "I just thought - just in case, you know?"
Gerard smiled and shook his head. "I love you."
"Yeah, well." Brian cleared his throat and said gruffly, "Let's see if you still love me after I try to explain why there's no record of the passport in question being used to get you into the country in the first place."