12th of April
Poisons were probably one of the most hated by Sirius Black lesson, which somehow was an achievement since he hated all lessons. But hearing about Remus stressing out about a girl made the lesson even worst. "Could you please just shut up for a moment, Moony." He said hardly.
"What the hell did she meant by it?" Lupin continued completely ignoring his friend. He referred to "See you later?" Cyn said to him hopefully just after breakfast.
"I don't know." He replied. "Go ask her."
"I can't." Boy was terrible in talking to girls. Especially talking to Cynthia Chapman. No matter how much he wanted to say that he can't have a girlfriend he couldn't stop thinking about a brunette ever since he "What if she likes me?"
"Then you sleep her." Sirius answered frankly out of his experience.
"You know I can not go into relationships... I'm... I'm way too dangerous for that." He moaned hating his own rules. "I just... I hope Cyn won't talk to me again. I hope she will just forget I exist."
"But why, Moony?" He frowned. "You clearly like her..."
"It's not about me liking her..."
"So what the fuck are we even talking about?" Black got annoyed.
"I would like to know that too." Horace Slughorn said with a confused expression. "Detention. Both of you..."
"Ha!" James laughed at his friends. "You're such losers."
"You want detention too, Potter?" Professor raised his eyebrow.
"Very much, sir." He nodded with enthusiasm making to his teacher even more confounded. "I have to keep my mates' company, don't I? One for all, all for one."
"Are you idiot by choice, Potter?" Snape looked at him with his regular emotionless expression.
"No. That would be you, Snivellus." Potter smiled rudely at him, proud of his own answer.
"Stop calling him that." Lily turned around with anger.
"How are you, Evans?" James smiled at a redhead. He suddenly forgot that Severus was even sitting next to her and said the sentence he was using regularly since his birthday. "Looking forward to a second dance."
"I already told you it was just one dance, Potter." She answered and looked away.
"Oh, come on!" He almost screamed at her as the bell rang. Lily quickly stood up and left the classroom but her friend imminently appeared next to her.
"What this asshole is talking about?" Slytherin' boy asked her. "What dance?"
"Shit." She was hiding the fact that she went to James's birthday party for almost a month now. "I... I danced with him. Once. Beth forced me and..."
"You don't have to explain yourself." He mumbled, trying to hide his anger. "It's not like your my girlfriend or something..."
"Yeah, I'm not." Oh, if only Severus knew how much she would like to be his girlfriend. She had a huge crush on him since the beginning of a year. She was even close to telling him about her feelings but seeing his interest in dark arts books she couldn't decide if she still wanted to tell him. She always knew that her friend was curious about that kinda magic, but she never thought about it as something serious before.
"So you like Potter now?" He raised his eyebrow in disapproval.
"No, he's arrogant, stupid and... I just hate him." She said quickly almost reciting well-remembered comments about her roommate's brother.
"Right..." He was about to turn around.
"Severus." She grabbed his arm desperately. "Are you mad at me?"
"Why would I? Because you're apparently in love my bully?" He laughed ironically.
"It's not fair." Redhead frowned. "You knew I always stay on your side. Always."
"Whatever, Evans." He snapped and left the girl alone in the corridor.
"But..." She started slowly but never finished. "Fuck."
She knew perfectly well that Snape has his difficulties but she never wanted to think about them. She was used to idealizing her friend but with time she started to see that he was this perfect person. She knew that James and Sirius were not his bullies. She knew he wasn't any better towards them. She knew he has dangerous friends and that he probably was thinking about becoming one of them.
She wasn't stupid. But somehow she still liked him, maybe even loved him. She wasn't sure why, but she could pretend to not see was stupid and blind for everything Snape was doing.
"Are you okay?" The kind voice brought her back to reality. "You look like you're about to forget how to breathe."
"I'm fine, Cyn." She sighed heavily. "Perfectly fine."
"Are you sure?" Hufflepuff's girl raised her eyebrow with care.
"Yeah..." Redhead nodded, but she knew she was not fine. Fortunately, Cynthia wasn't about to force her to talk. She just wanted to comfort her and Lily really appreciated that. Living with Potter and Meadowes that loved gossip, made her tried of talking about her love life all the time. She politely informed her friend that she's going earlier to bed, but she didn't sleep that night.
She wasn't the only one thought. Sirius waked at two am in sweat. He breathed heavily trying to calm himself down.
"It... It was just a dream." He whispered to himself quietly. The same dream was hunting him for months now. "Get you shit together, Black."
He stood up and put on a t-shirt with some punk rock band logo on it and left the room not wanting to wake up his friends. To his surprise, the common room was not empty.
"How are you, Potter?"
"It was quite a decent day, but now that you're here it's terrible and I'm truly miserable." She answered with a theatrical voice. "Glad you ask."
"You read too much, you know." He smirked. "You start to sound like a Greek tragedy."
"You really think I would ever believe you ever had any Greek tragedy in your hands, Black?" She replied and added weirdly politely pointing at the table with a jug and her half-empty cup. "You want some tea?"
"Sure." He nodded.
"Accio cup." The girl mumbled and the empty cup soon appeared in her hand. She poured him tea and handed it to him.
"Can't sleep?"
"I had a bad dream." He said trying to sound ironical but nightmares were indeed the reason he couldn't sleep.
"Tell me." She put her book down and turned to him.
"I was joking."
"You weren't."
"Fuck you." He knew that she won't let it go until he will tell her this joke.
"Tell me." Beth sound like a little child trying to force her mom to buy her a lollipop. "Come on, Black."
"Why would I? We're not even friends."
"Friends would pity you. That's why you won't tell Remus or James." She somehow seemed to know everything he was thinking about. "I will just laugh."
"And that's better than pity?" He raised his eyebrow.
"Yes." She replied and tried once again. "Tell me."
"It's stupid."
"That's why I want to hear it." Potter smiled. "Tell me."
"You won't let it go?" He asked hopefully.
"No."
Black sighed loudly and took the cigarettes out of his pocket. He passed one to Beth and lit up his own, then hers. He inhaled the smoke before telling her about her dreams.
"So, I have this dream." He started still not sure why he's even telling her that. "I'm sitting in the dining room with my family. Everyone is silent, they don't move. Like... Like they were frozen in time or something." He drew on a cigarette. "And I can not move. I want to stand up and leave, but I can't. I have to sit there with them. Being one of them. Being part of a family."
Beth looked at him. He looked rather sad than scared. She could notice something that was uncommon for him. Vulnerability.
"I feel in my bones that my dad will..." He hesitated and bit his lip. "Scream at me or Regulus. I kinda hope it will be me, just so he is safe. But I never happen. We're just sitting there, waiting."
It was hard to describe what he actually felt.
Embarrassment?
Humiliation?
Shame?
He wanted to despair. Sirius Black wanted to be invisible. Ladies and gentlemen put than into your diaries. National fucking holiday.
"Weren't you supposed to laugh at me." He said ironically to a younger girl
"Ow, yeah." She looked at him with those huge brown eyes and smiled softly before letting out a quiet, almost silent fake giggle.
"What are you doing here?" He changed the topic. "Nightmares?"
"I'm just reading." She lied, but Sirius was smarter to believe her. He narrowed his eyes trying to figure out what could keep her up in the night.
"Your dad is on a mission from the order, isn't he?" He asked finally knowing he was right.
"I'm just reading." She repeated harshly and meet his foolish glance. "I won't talk to you about it."
"Fair enough." He nodded with a bittersweet smile. "What you reading?" She looked at him some kinda astonished.
"The Catcher in the Rye." She showed him a red cover.
"Salinger's" He raised him an eyebrow. "It's one that is banned?"
"Should I be impressed with so aristocrat knowing something about muggle's literature." She laughed.
"Fuck you, Potter." He threw a pillow into her. "You're pureblood too."
"That's an issue only if someone wants to date you." She smiled rudely. He bit his lip knowing exactly what she was talking about. He would never say it out loud but every girl he ever dated wasn't picked without a reason. People always assumed that he was sleeping around just for fun. And it was a lot of fun, he couldn't lie. However, the pleasure of sex wasn't the only reason. He made sure that every girl he was publicly seen with would be a blow to family pride. He slept only with muggle-born or half-blood witches. Never with Slytherins and quite often he was looking for additional qualities his family detested. "Fortunately, it's not my problem."
Sirius hated how smart she was, she could just look at people and see things they didn't want anyone to know. She would make a fucking great lawyer with her talent to win every argument, observing skills and clear beliefs on every moral issue.
"What's that book about?" He quickly changed the topic.
"About a sexually unused 16-year-old boy that they kick out if the school." She laughed.
"I could relate to that..." He joked. "Is it any good?"
"Good?" She raised her eyebrow. "It's bloody brilliant."
"Maybe I should read it, then." He grabbed a book and looked at the cover curiously.
"Since when you read?" She giggled.
"I do." Sirius pretend to be offended. "Sometimes."
"You couldn't even finish a Batman comic." She recalled. "No way you would read the masterpiece of American literature."
"Wanna bet, Potter?" He moved closer and smiled provocatively.
"You lost the last bet."
"Buying you a beer, wasn't so bad." Black admitted honestly.
"Didn't we fought all night?" He raised her eyebrow.
"Yeah, we did." He smirked. For some odd reason, he enjoyed their date. At least the short moments before and after they started to argue about the politics and war. But even their discussion wasn't bad. He wasn't used to talking about serious things with girls. Most of them wanted to just get into his bed. She was quite the opposite. Her views and attitude challenged him. He liked talking to her, he liked fighting with her. Even though he would never say it out loud.
"You won't read it." She laughed in her rude but kinda sweet way.
"Bet?" He moved even closer.
"Bet." She smiled before suddenly standing up. "You have two weeks and no cheating. I'll know."
***
NEW CHAPTER! Hope you all enjoy it.
Which couple are you rooting for? We have quite a lot of ships in this one.