"Alright, well," Lisa clears her throat. "I'll see you soon?"
"Yeah," is Jennie's short, almost shy answer. They've been standing in her hallway for about half an hour now - Lisa insisted on seeing her to the door. 'It's late, and your hallways are dark,' Lisa told her evenly. Jennie only hummed in agreement, deciding against pointing out the obvious.
It's just as hard for Lisa to say goodbye as it is for her.
She glances down and then back at Lisa's face, lightly biting her lip. She knows she's shamelessly flirting. Judging by the way Lisa's breath catches in her throat, she doesn't particularly mind. "Would you like a cup of tea?"
Lisa's smirk is small, but it speaks volumes. "You know we won't stop at tea, Jennie," she says quietly, and her eyes are vibrant. "Especially not right now."
"Oh?" Maybe she should cut it out. Probably. But it's been so long since she's felt comfortable teasing Lisa like this; since Lisa allowed her to get this close to tease her. It's -- exhilarating. "And what's so special about right now?"
"Not after what you've told me outside Dr. Lee's office," Lisa clarifies. Her voice drops even lower. Just like the shivers down Jennie's back. "Unless..." She trails off, searching Jennie's face. Not for the first time, Jennie finds herself wanting to cave so, so badly. She suspects Lisa's perfectly aware of the effect she has on her. She's just not aware she's using it to her advantage sometimes.
And that's the thought that makes Jennie pause, and think, and take a small step back. It doesn't stop a wistful sigh from falling, though. "Dr. Lee is right," she says. "We're not... we're not there yet."
Images of Lisa - quickly, roughly, gently, persistently, unsurely - pushing her hands away whenever she's wanted to touch her, to feel her, flash through her mind, and she swallows the bitter lump in her throat. 'I don't want that to happen, and I have a feeling that's exactly what's going to happen if we were to -- and I'm so tired of feeling empty.'
The gentle, sad curve of Lisa's mouth lets her know she's thinking the same thing. "I'm sorry," she whispers, "for being so... forthcoming."
"No, no, I understand," Jennie quickly interjects. "Trust me," she lets out a humorless chuckle. "I get it."
Lisa's smile is muted. "Right." She surprises Jennie by slowly reaching out and taking her hand in hers. "I... I wish I could say we're already there," she says, looking up at her and finding her eyes with her own.
"I know." Jennie's overcome with this sudden urge to reassure her, and so she does - or at least tries to, stepping closer to her and taking her other hand. Smoothing her thumbs over her knuckles. Lisa does that a lot to her. It feels good to reciprocate. "It's okay to need time, Lisa. And space, too. If you--" she swallows, again, because the words will never get less painful to get out but -- but. "If you ever need to... take a step back, I want you to feel comfortable with sharing that need with me. And I'll understand. I promise you, Lisa."
"Okay." She knows Lisa wants to tell her that no, she won't need that anymore, but at this point, it would be a lie. Jennie watches Lisa take a deep breath, and feels her squeeze her hands. "It's enough, you know," she tells her then, smiling more with her eyes than her lips. "Your promise. It's -- enough."
And Jennie hears everything Lisa doesn't say. 'I'm getting closer to trusting your word', Lisa's eyes tell her, and they are filled with wonder, as if Lisa herself is only now discovering that. Perhaps, she is.
Jennie nods, and leans into Lisa, resting her head on her shoulder and smiling when she feels Lisa's arms slowly entwine her waist. "I don't want to go," she confesses quietly into Lisa's jacket, inhaling her scent. Leather mixed with soft, barely-there perfume and Lisa.
She feels her arms tighten around her. "And I don't want to let you go." A soft, long kiss is pressed to her temple, and then, Lisa's pulling away, and Jennie can't hold back a pitiful whine. "It's late," Lisa says with a chuckle. Her hands are still resting on Jennie's waist, but there's a distance between them that Jennie really wishes weren't there. "You should get some sleep. And so should I."
Jennie nods. "Big day tomorrow?"
"You could say that." Lisa doesn't frown, but Jennie immediately understands something's wrong by the way Lisa's face grows impassive. She still can see her inner struggle in her eyes - she's clearly debating whether to tell Jennie something. Before Jennie can tell her that it's okay and she doesn't have to say anything she doesn't want to share with her, she makes up her mind. "Lucas is coming back."
"Oh." It's been awhile since one simple statement made her so conflicted. But this isn't about her, or them. It's Lisa's family; so she swallows and tries to smile. "That's good. I'm glad he's finally ready to talk to you."
"Hey," Lisa whispers, and entwines their fingers. "It's gonna be fine. He won't try to do anything."
"I'm not worried about that."
Doe eyes smile. "Then what are you worried about?"
"Why is it so easy for you to read me?" Jennie mumbles. Lisa prefers not to answer. Judging by the way she briefly locks her jaw, she wouldn't want to hear the answer anyway, even though she already kind of knows it.
She's constantly on high alert around me now. Of course she notices things.
Jennie shakes her head. "I'm just -- when he went away, he was able to clear his head and... I don't want him to lose it again. And he will once he learns you and I are trying to be together."
One impeccable brow flies up. "Trying to?" Lisa repeats with an amused smile. "I was under the impression that we're already together."
Jennie blinks. "I -- well, yeah, but what's with us going to therapy and--"
"We're having problems." Lisa's gaze grows suddenly intense, hot, as she focuses on her face. "Couples do that. Some fall apart. Some try to solve them. Like us. Jennie," she quietly says, getting closer - and Jennie can't be blamed when her gaze flicks to full lips. "I want to be with you, and I am with you, okay?"
Jennie's fingertips play with small hair at the back of Lisa's neck as she stares her in the eye. "Are you pivoting again?"
Full lips form a smirk. "Maybe a little," Lisa admits, "but I stand by what I just said."
"Okay," Jennie says, and kisses her, because she can't hold herself back any longer and because Lisa licks her lips so damn invitingly before meeting her halfway and deepening the kiss right away. "Whoa," she says, pulling away with a chuckle after several seconds. "Keep that up and we'll make Dr. Lee one unhappy therapist."
"Sorry," Lisa murmurs, not really sounding like it. "I'm -- I might be still thinking about what you've said today."
"Good." Jennie pecks her lips again, and her smile grows when Lisa tries to chase her lips when she pulls back. "Don't forget about it. Ever."
Lisa answers with a nod and a smile. Then, after a small pause: "You don't need to worry about Lucas. In any way."
"I just want you and him to be okay again," Jennie confesses with a sigh. "God," she continues next, a bitter chuckle falling from her lips. "I fucked up all of your relationships, didn't I?"
"Well, not all of them. Dara's the same," Lisa comments lightly, and Jennie can't help it - she bursts out laughing. She laughs, and laughs, and Lisa laughs with her, and when tears start making their way down Jennie's cheeks, she only wipes them with her thumbs and kisses the salt on her lips away.
*
Lisa leaves with a terrifying proposition. Thankfully, Jennie has the one for her, as well. Now both of them are quietly dreading dinner with the other's family. Jennie's not sure if she's glad or scared they are seeing hers first.
"Lucas is -- well. He's definitely not there yet," Lisa told her as they parted. "And I'm guessing your mother's been... waiting for a while."
Jennie couldn't help it. She pouted. "Those are baseless accusations."
"Are they?" Lisa arched her brow at her again, and Jennie sighed.
"Well - okay. Maybe. I was just waiting for the right time to bring it up."
"Sure," Lisa smiled, and left it at that. That being them visiting her parents next week.
(They both mutually agreed it wasn't going to be counted as a date.)
And now, Jennie's running around buying groceries while fighting with her mother on who's cooking. "For the last time," she says into the phone. "Lisa's used to my cooking."
Her mom scoffs. "I taught you," she states. "She'll like my cooking just fine. Also, she's a grown woman, Jennie."
It's going to be a long night, Jennie thinks and grabs a bottle of wine to go along with her groceries.
*
"Hey."
On the other side of the door, Lisa stands, looking impeccable. And a little nervous. But mostly impeccable. "Hey back," she says, before continuing more quietly. "You look -- you look amazing."
Jennie's not an easy blusher, but she finds that around Lisa, she is. She resists the urge to tug at her simple beige sundress, giving Lisa a smile. "Thank you. So do you."
Lisa grins a small grin. "That's how I always look," she says, glancing down at her own outfit briefly. Jennie does the same, taking a quick moment to appreciate the way the shirt clings to her body - and the way those pants outline her long legs. She doesn't miss the bouquet she's holding, either, but decides not to comment. "You always look amazing, then," she chuckles.
Hazel eyes widen, just a little. "Oh, I wasn't -- fishing for a compliment just now, I..." she trails off and sighs under Jennie's amused gaze. Then, she smiles. "Hey."
"Come here," Jennie murmurs, because she can, and takes Lisa's hand to lead her inside the apartment. But, just as she leans in, Lisa draws back.
"Jennie," she whispers. "We're in your parents' home."
As if on cue, her mother appears behind her. "Oh, hello, Lisa," she says, and it's not without warmth. "I was wondering what was taking so long." She smirks as she takes in their joined hands and apparent closeness. "Now I don't have to."
Lisa clears her throat. Jennie knows she must be embarrassed. Yet, she doesn't immediately pull away. She does so gradually, with a light squeeze of her hand and a brief glance. "Hello, Mrs. Kim. Thank you for having me." She takes a step towards Janet and presents the bouquet to her.
"Oh my gosh," Janet chuckles, accepting the flowers and inhaling their scent. "You shouldn't have." She looks at Jennie. "She's a charmer, huh?"
Jennie doesn't answer, instead adoring the faint pink dusted across Lisa's cheeks.
"I'm going to go put these in water," Janet says, a little louder. "Dinner's ready, by the way." Her smirk only grows as she turns around and leaves them to stand there.
"Oh," Lisa says, as if suddenly remembering something, and steps back into the hallway, bringing a brown paper bag with her. "This is for you," she reaches inside and takes out a single rose. Bright red.
Jennie's sure her cheeks are getting closer to that color as she takes the flower, almost dropping it when their fingers brush in the process. God. What is she doing to me?
"And this," Lisa continues, producing a bottle of wine from within the now empty bag, "is for us. I had a feeling it was going to be an... interesting evening."
Jennie thinks back to the bottle she's bought today. "You and me both."
*
Surprisingly enough, the dinner goes quite smoothly. Jennie's father tugs Lisa into a hug by the hand she offered for a handshake, and Lisa appears only mildly uncomfortable. When they part, however, her smile is warm, and so is Jennie's heart.
Jennie still has some trepidation when they finally sit down to eat, but Lisa's presence next to her is soothing. Ironic, considering Jennie's supposed to be the one soothing her, isn't she?
Woman up, she tells herself sternly and reaches for Lisa's hand under the table, gently touching it and smiling when Lisa lifts her eyes to meet hers. 'I'm here', she tries to convey.
'I know', Lisa's smile tells her as she squeezes her fingers once before letting go and reaching for her fork. And after that, she's -- well, perfect is the only word Jennie has. She smiles at her parents and she compliments Janet's cooking (and genuinely enjoys it) and she patiently answers all of their questions about work and life and even family, all without a hitch. Perhaps, Jennie should be taken aback - maybe even a little scared - by how easy Lisa makes talking about her family seem when she knows firsthand it's not.
Instead, she feels admiration. For how strong she really is.
Needless to say that by the end of the night, Janet significantly warms up to Lisa. When the latter tries to help her with the dishes, she only shoos her away, and she's adamant about it. "You're the guest," she states, taking a plate from her hand. "Come see me when you're my daughter in law - then we'll talk."
"Mom!" Saying Jennie is mortified would be an understatement of the year.
The tips of Lisa's ears burn bright red, but she still manages a smile. "I'll... keep that in mind, Janet."
"Good. Where do you think you're going?" The crazy woman, as Jennie's already dubbed her for the night, addresses her next.
"Um," Jennie says, but Janet's not patient enough to wait for her to come up with a more intelligent response. "You're not the guest. Come help me," she says, and it's only a little teasing. She knows her mother means it.
Lisa's still smiling when she glances at her. "I'll be fine without you for five minutes, you know," she points out, clearly noticing Jennie's distress.
"You're not the one I'm worried about," Jennie mutters, lingering in the doorway while her mother busies herself with leftovers.
Lisa lets out a mocking gasp. "Outrageous," she murmurs back.
"Jennie," Janet calls before she can answer. "Quit flirting and let Lisa go and rest. We'll join them soon."
She barely resists the urge to flick Lisa on her forehead when she lets out a sound that's suspiciously close to a giggle and walks away, leaving her in the kitchen.
*
"Dad wanted to talk to her, didn't he?"
Janet hands her another plate, humming. "I wasn't very subtle, was I?"
"Not at all," Jennie snorts as she puts the plate away after drying it. "It's like you weren't even trying."
Janet shrugs. "I wasn't." When Jennie glares at her, she only grins. "So," she starts, and Jennie already doesn't like her tone. "Lisa didn't exactly object when I mentioned her being my daughter in law..."
"Oh, my God," Jennie hisses. "I can't believe you did that. I -- we still have so many things to work on, and you go and say something like that?"
Janet doesn't look too fazed. "Sweetie," she says. "She did not object."
"That's because sometimes she's too polite for her own good!" Jennie quietly implodes. "Seriously, mom. Don't say something like that again." She sighs. "Please."
Janet finishes rinsing the last plate. "Fine, I won't. I may have gone a little too far. I'm sorry," she offers her, along with the plate which Jennie takes with another sigh.
"Apology accepted, just don't do it again."
"I already said I won't."
Jennie dries her hands and turns, leaning against the counter. "What did he want to talk to her about?" She asks, already knowing she won't get an answer. Janet shakes her head, proving her right.
"I can't tell you. Mostly because I don't really know, either. He just asked me to help him find some time alone with Lisa." She tilts her head to the right as she studies Jennie for several silent seconds, and her eyes are crinkling with a warm smile. "She's a great girl, you know."
There's a lump in her throat again. She doesn't know why, but she gets a sudden urge to cry. Perhaps, it's because her mom is finally seeing Lisa for who she is, and is appreciating her for that. God knows Lisa deserves that. And so, so much more. And Jennie wants nothing more than to give that to her. She still doesn't know if she's capable, but she's damn sure she's going to try for her.
"I know," she replies quietly. "I -- she makes me happy, mom."
"I know," Janet says softly, rubbing her arm. "I saw it. Today. I'm sorry it took me so long."
Jennie shrugs. "You didn't know the whole situation."
"Maybe. But I was wrong about her right from the start. I wasn't exactly welcoming in the beginning, and I hardly had any reason not to be." There's genuine remorse in Janet's voice, and Jennie gives her a reassuring smile.
"I'm just glad you were willing to try."
"How could I not be willing to try for my future daughter-in-law?" Janet says, and runs away, laughing, leaving her daughter to stand in the kitchen and roll her eyes.
*
"I had fun tonight," Lisa tells her when they walk down the street, hand in hand. Jennie still can't get over that simple fact. Not without Dr. Lee's gentle suggestion, they've been trying out small acts of intimacy. Jennie's certainly not complaining. Neither is Lisa.
"Me too," she replies. "And once again, I'm sorry about my mom's joke. About, um -- about the whole daughter in law thing. She can be a dork sometimes."
Lisa's lips twitch. "It's fine."
"Oh, I've been meaning to ask - did Chaeyoung talk to you about Jisoo?"
Lisa's expression becomes apologetic. "We haven't really seen each other for the past few days," she says. "It's been a busy week. I'll make sure to ask her tomorrow."
"You don't have to," Jennie quickly says. "I've been thinking about it, and I was -- I was being stupid about this whole thing. Chaeyoung definitely has other things to worry about and better things to do than stalking my friends."
They walk around a puddle from both sides, and Jennie can't stop her heart from fluttering when Lisa confidently leads her around it and immediately tugs her close when it ends. "It's normal to worry about your friend," she says. "And I promised I'd keep an eye on her, so I will."
"Are you feeling okay?" Jennie asks as they approach her building. "It sounds like you're very busy lately. If you need to take a break--"
Lisa's quick to interject. "No," she says. "I don't -- I don't want to take a break from you." Hazel eyes search her face. "It actually feels like we're making progress. I don't want to lose that."
"Lisa," Jennie breathes out. "You won't. I'll be here. I'll always be here."
Lisa's smile grows sad, suddenly. "You can't promise that," she says. For some reason, Jennie gets a feeling there's something else behind that statement besides the looming presence of her betrayal.
"Maybe," she says. "But I'll try my hardest anyway." She grins, then, and glances up at her windows. "I guess that's still a no on my tea offer?"
Lisa grins back, and Jennie doesn't miss relief flash through her eyes. She's grateful for the sudden change of subject, that's for sure. Then again, that's why she's changed it. "I'm afraid so," she murmurs. "But I'd like to see you to your door, if that's okay."
Jennie looks up at her through her lashes. Glances at the door. At their hands, fingers still entwined, and -- God, she really, really doesn't want this to end. "Lis, I -- you're not gonna like this, probably."
Lisa's frown is small, but cautious - and that's what makes Jennie's heart painfully squeeze in her chest. That's also one of the reasons she hopes Lisa agrees to what she's about to say. "What is it?"
Jennie thinks there's no use of stalling. "Spend the night with me." Hazel eyes widen, but Jennie keeps going before she can object. And because she's afraid that if she stops, she'll lose her sudden, reckless courage. "We'll just sleep. I know we're capable of keeping our hands to ourselves. I can take the couch if that makes you more comfortable. I just..." She sighs, and bites her lower lip as she shyly looks at Lisa. "I know I'm gonna miss you when you leave, and -- it's another week till our appointment."
She watches as Lisa looks down at her shoes, clearly trying to figure out how to reject her offer delicately. Well -- it's not like she expected her to agree. She just wanted to say it out loud. To put it out there, for Lisa to know.
That's why her mouth hangs open and her heart beats faster and faster and faster when Lisa lifts her head and gives her the tiniest nod, and the smallest smile.