hold my hand in yours // JENLISA

Chapter 27

She wonders if Lisa's also spent the night half-awake, fighting the urge to get up and join her. Quietly slip under the covers, hands trailing over each other's skin as they greet each other with slow, hushed kisses.

She wonders, and never gets up, and neither does Lisa. Jennie can hear her little weary sighs as she tosses and turns. It could be just fitful sleep. Still. She wonders.

Do you want me there as much as I want you?

Morning comes too early, and with it, comes a multitude of decisions they must make. Lisa's face is scrubbed clean, and Jennie thinks it would've looked young and fresh if it weren't for the shadow crossing it.

She swallows the thought down and comes back to making a fresh pot of coffee. "How did you sleep last night?"

Lisa's quiet smile is still there when she lifts her head to look at her. "Better than I could have. Worse, too." The smile only grows when Jennie doesn't try to hide the rolling of her eyes.

"You were the one who insisted on taking the couch," she reminds her, passing her a cup of coffee and silently thanking the Universe when she doesn't drop it at having her fingers brush against Lisa's. "My bed was yours, and yet."

"And yet," Lisa echoes, taking a sip. Their gazes meet, and -- Jennie doesn't want to dwell on it too much, but there's definitely a sparkle in hazel eyes that wasn't there before.

(Or - it was, but so long ago it almost seems like another life. Previous life. Happier life. The one full of lies.)

She drops her gaze first, instead turning to lean against the counter and sipping at her coffee. It's a little too strong. Just in case Lisa didn't get much sleep, either.

Just in case.

Lisa doesn't appear to be in the mood for talking this morning, and she doesn't want to push. She gets it, really. Last night was a nice pause. Their little break from reality. But now, it's crushing back down.

She thinks if she should start that conversation, but Lisa beats her to it. "I want to come to your meeting with Lucas." At Jennie's startled, wide-eyed stare, she only blinks and elaborates: "this Thursday."

"Yes, I remember when I'm meeting with him. I just wasn't aware you were gonna be there, as well."

Lisa cocks her head to the side, studying her. "You don't think it's a good idea," she states.

Jennie suppresses the urge to raise her eyebrow. "What gave it away?"

Lisa doesn't reply. Instead, she shrugs and gets right to the bottom of it, obviously choosing to ignore Jennie's sarcasm. "He is going to twist it around if I confront him without you there. That's why I'm proposing we do this."

"Lisa." She sighs, Grabs the mug just to have something to hold onto, and doesn't look at her. "I -- I told you about his offer because that was the right thing to do. Because I never want to keep you in the dark about anything. But I -- I don't... I didn't exactly sign up for a family drama." She probably could've worded much nicer, she thinks.

Lisa's still staring at her. "I don't think anyone signed up for any of this," she notes evenly. Perhaps, she could've worded that a little nicer, too. But a little nicer is definitely a lot more than Jennie deserves, so she welcomes the sting that comes with it. Lisa sighs. Looks away for one brief second, as if gathering her thoughts. "I... If you don't think I should be there, however, then I'm not going to go. I don't want to force you to do this. You did your part. Now I deal with it. There's a good chance your meeting with him won't even happen."

It's meant to be comforting, Jennie knows that - but her heart still throbs because lately, she can't stop attributing hidden meanings to everything they do and say.