There's nothing else Jonghyun wants right now besides bringing Seungyeon into a hug. Attached the girl's body with his own body, giving each other warmth. It feels like it's been a long time since Jonghyun hasn't breathed in Seungyeon's sweet body scent, which always made him addicted. Then he felt his lips touch Seungyeon's lips, gently moving slowly to then explore deeper. The girl must know, sighing every time they make out is a separate music for him. Makes him want to hear that sigh again and again.
"Can you give me a way, Jonghyun-ssi?"
Seungyeon's question in a cold tone made Jonghyun return to the fact that he couldn't do what he just thought. At least, not this time.
"We need to talk, Seungyeon."
"There is nothing more to talk about. Do you still not understand?"
"Seungyeon! Please, don't test my patience."
No matter, Seungyeon instead pushed Jonghyun's body to the side, giving her own way into the apartment. Unfortunately, her efforts to escape were in vain because Jonghyun readily held the door that was about to be closed and just walked in there.
"Yyak!" Seungyeon shouted.
Jonghyun pulled Seungyeon's arm, almost dragged her then sat her on the sofa. His hands gripped the hands of Seungyeon and Jonghyun held his body with his knees right in front of her, making their height parallel to each other staring straight.
"I don't like your attitude like this!" Seungyeon exclaimed.
"Then don't force me to be hard on you like this!"
No.
Jonghyun actually doesn't want to scream, it's just frustrating to make Seungyeon want to talk to him.
Trying to regulate emotions, Jonghyun closed his eyes while taking a deep breath. A little guilt occurred when he saw Seungyeon was stunned to hear his scream just now.
The tight grip that felt painful began to relax, replaced by the grip of the hand that inevitably warm Seungyeon felt flowing throughout the body.
"Is it because of Jungshin?" Jonghyun asked sharply.
Seungyeon looked at Jonghyun with a look of disbelief. "Are you spying on me?"
"That's not important right now. Answer me Seungyeon, is everything because of Jungshin? Did he say anything to you? Do you like each other? You prefer him over me?"
Hearing the insistent questions Seungyeon's heart sank. She sacrificed her feelings to prevent Jisoo from spreading rumors of her affair with Jungshin that was completely untrue.
But look now. Her sacrifice felt so futile. Jonghyun accused her of the same thing. Or did Park Jisoo betray their agreement?
"On what grounds are you accusing me of that?"
"I saw Jungshin here a few days ago when I wanted to meet you. He drove you home almost at midnight. You guys are out on a date? Spending a romantic night together?"
"Stop Lee Jonghyun-ssi."
"What can he give you and I can't? How far have you been between you and me?"
"Stop!"
"Did you find the future that you meant by him but not with me? You know the reason you gave for breaking up with me completely sounds like crap! It's better if you are honest with me if you have an affair with Jung-"
Seungyeon cast a hard slap on Jonghyun's face until the man turned sideways, shocked him and closed his lips tightly from issuing painful accusations.
"How bad am I in your eyes?" Seungyeon whispered softly. "If you consider me to be cheating on Jungshin-ssi, then what should I consider your relationship with Jisoo-ssi?"
When Jonghyun looked into her eyes again, the cold look that Seungyeon had shown had changed into a disappointed look. There is clear pain there. And at that very moment, Jonghyun was plagued with a deep sense of regret for all his words that crossed the line. He was busy cursing himself in his heart because, again, he only made things more complicated.
Considering how he hurt Seungyeon, repeatedly betraying her trust, one slap is clearly not enough.
That girl was right, she and Jungshin were nothing compared to what he had done to her because of Jisoo.
And Jungshin is also right, he shouldn't give a way for him to have a feeling for Seungyeon.
Then he immediately grabbed Seungyeon's hands again, but the girl dodged faster. Seungyeon moved from her seat, but Jonghyun who was right in front of her managed to make her sit again as before.
"Let me go!"
Jonghyun doesn't care.
"If you come here just to say how bad I am in your eyes, please leave."
Jonghyun shook his head quickly. "No..."
Seungyeon sighed, "Sorry for hurting you. But really, I didn't do all this for myself."
Just like that, Jonghyun believes. All the suspicion, jealousy and anger that previously filled the heart immediately evaporated was replaced by a growing sense of regret.
"Sorry. I'm sorry." Said Jonghyun earnestly. "For everything I have done to you, for all the bad things you have to go through because of me, for the weight of our relationship, for not giving you all the best. I'm sorry."
That look.
Seungyeon can't bear to look at him any longer. So she looked away. Also deaf ears, pressed lips and hardened heart. Seungyeon felt even worse after hearing that apology.
Really, Jonghyun shouldn't be like this. The man should be able to release himself. Jonghyun should just hate Seungyeon. That will be easier.
"Please, give me a chance to fix everything. Give me a chance to love you more, to treat you better, to make you happy."
Seungyeon shook her head slowly, still not returning the eyes in front of her. Even so, Seungyeon tried her hardest so Jonghyun didn't realize that she was currently desperately holding back tears. Biting her lips tightly so as not to shout how she also has the same desire.
"Look at me..."
Jonghyun touched Seungyeon's chin, forced her to turn and make their irises meet. Jonghyun knows, just once that eye blinks then at that moment the stagnant water at the end will flow. And Jonghyun also believes there is still hope for their relationship. Indeed, Seungyeon firmly said that she wanted to separate, but the look in her eyes could never tell a lie.
"Can you just forget about me?"
Jonghyun shook his head firmly. "No."
Seungyeon closed her eyes, finally letting the water run down her cheeks, allowing Jonghyun to wipe it with fingers that felt warm as he caressed her face. All the longing that Seungyeon felt for that man almost made her despair. So with the remaining strength, she hardened again.
"Oppa ..."
Jonghyun's heart trembled to hear Seungyeon calling him Oppa again. That's definitely better than Seungyeon saying his name in a formal way.
"Do you really love me?"
"Ya. With all my heart."
"Can you prove it? Prove it by doing what I ask."
Of course Jonghyun is willing. He sure nodded. "Whatever it is, baby.."
Seungyeon smiled, her hand outstretched, letting her tapering fingers touch Jonghyun's strand of hair covering his forehead. Stroking it slowly like she used to do often when Jonghyun was going to sleep. He used to say, he can always sleep more soundly every time Seungyeon strokes his hair while they lie next to each other. When Seungyeon heard that she laughed and called Jonghyun like a five-year-old child who was still sleeping with his mother. But now, it's Seungyeon who really missed that moment.
"Promise me Oppa will do it."
Still with confidence, Jonghyun nodded again. "I promise."
"Forget me."
Jonghyun perfectly widened his eyes.
Seungyeon has stopped stroking his hair. Now the girl just looks at Jonghyun with a plea.
"Forget me and be happy with your life."
"How can I promise to be happy when there is no you in my life !?"
"That's my only wish for you to do."
"Why?" Jonghyun asked softly now.
"Please don't ask the reason."
Jonghyun looked down at Seungyeon's lap. The knees that had been supporting his body had been aching, but that was nothing compared to the pain in the heart. His eyes were tightly closed, and because of that Seungyeon could feel something wet dripping onto the back of her hand.
Jonghyun cried.
Jonghyun is crying.
"Even if you ask me to let go of everything I have right now, I will do it. Without a doubt. Because my life is centered on you."
Jonghyun raised his head, looked at Seungyeon again.
"But not by forgetting you. Never."
Seungyeon swears, hurting Jonghyun is the last thing she wants to do. It never occurred to make his cry. If only she had many choices, it is certain to part with someone she loves she would never do.
Without answering, Seungyeon let go of Jonghyun's hand, went up and walked toward the door, opening it wide.
"Go. Leave me."
Jonghyun still knelt there, felt his heart getting more and more broken, his soul that was increasingly lost. Then he was forced, because he no longer knew how to convince Seungyeon in what way, Jonghyun walked there, finding Seungyeon holding the door handle without looking at all.
And only one step.
Just one step Jonghyun was outside the door, Seungyeon immediately closed it tightly, as if reflecting her heart that had not been split. Making Jonghyun, like it or not, step away to bring his heart that is getting broken.
***