Song: You Need To Calm Down by Taylor Swift
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"I can't believe you guys skipped school, just to come over here." Dani, Kira and I are all seated on my bed in the guest room at Jake's house.
"After all the shit you went through? Plus we haven't seen you in way too long," Kira says, and I feel guilty for not telling her everything sooner.
"I'm sorry I didn't tell you what was going on." I frown, and she grabs my hand.
"Don't. That's not an easy situation to be in, and having a lot of people knowing isn't the top thing that pops into my head when I think of something like that. I'm just glad it's over with now."
"Me too!" Dani chimes in, pulling a folder out of her bag. "I brought your homework, by the way."
"Ooh, you suck," I tease, making them both laugh.
"So, I have a question," Kira says, an eyebrow raised. I nod for her to continue. "What exactly is going on with you and Jake?"
"What do you mean? We're friends." I shrug. Even saying that sends a pang of hurt through me. I know damn well that I'm catching feelings for Jake Cantelli.
"Bull shit," Dani says, rolling her eyes. "There's something else going on. You're together all the time."
"Because we live in the same house currently," I scoff.
"Okay, but before that. He was always with you then too," Kira adds.
"Because he was told to keep an eye on me."
"Because his big bad mafia daddy told him to? It wasn't just for that reason." Yep, they know about the whole mafia thing now too.
They're both freaked out by it, Dani more than Kira. Dani even pulled away from Quinton, and I can tell he's having a hard time with that, but respects her boundaries. I know she'll come around though. As much as the mafia shit freaks me out too, I can't stay away from Jake. And maybe that's a bad thing.
"He could be paid to watch you, and he would still do more than he's supposed to. That guy has a thing for you. And I'm not just talking looks wise. There are feelings between you guys, so stop denying that shit." Dani crosses her arms over her chest, daring me to try her.
"I don't think I could do it, though. It scares me a little bit. His life revolves around violence, and I don't want that. Yes, I have feelings for him, but they can't go anywhere."
"I get it, I do. I'm scared, just like you are. But, if you truly care for him, you need to talk to him about this. About your fears. Quinton and I talked last night, and I feel a little better about everything. Talk to him about it, Emmy," Dani says with a reassuring smile.
"She's right. I'm gonna sit down with Ollie. We're not as close as you guys, but we've both admitted to having a crush on each other. I told him if anything were to happen, I would need to know what to expect," Kira adds, opening the bag of chips she brought with her, and eating a couple.
"I guess you're both right. I know there's going to be a certain amount of danger just having him in my life as a friend, and there will be if we're together too. I just need to figure out if it's worth it."
"Is he worth it? Like honestly. He's been by your side and made sure you weren't hurt more than he could prevent. He's always there for you. Is he worth the risk? You've already had danger in your life, let him protect you from the rest."
Their words start to sink in, and I realize that he is worth it. "I wouldn't even know how to start a conversation like that though."
"Enough with the excuses, chick," Kira demands, immediately grabbing my attention. "You have feelings for him. That much is obvious. And he has them for you too. You don't have to do anything right now, but at some point, you've got to stop being so scared of someone actually loving you, and break down your walls. He may be bad, but he's good to you and for you."
Tears a streaming down my face at this point. I just nod, knowing she's right. About everything. I am scared. Especially after everything with my dad, it makes me terrified to trust people and let go. But he's not my dad. He's not like him. At all.
I know I've been flirtier with him lately, and more bold, but I'm going to try harder. So, I'm going to work on breaking my walls down around him. I'm going to try to let him in, and let him get to know me.
"Well, damn. We didn't mean to make you cry." Kira frowns. I laugh softly, shaking my head.
"It's exactly what I needed to hear. I am scared. I don't have a true parent figure in my life. I've never been in a relationship before. Hell, I've never had these feelings before. I need all the help I can get."
"Alright, I think we've had enough boy talk. It's time to binge watch something on Netflix and eat junk food," Dani says, making us all laugh.
"Agreed! We've never had a girls day like this. I'm so excited." I really am excited. My dad never let me do this after my mom left. And before that, I never had the time to, because I did cheerleading, volleyball and tennis. After my mom left, I had all the free time in the world because I wasn't allowed to do sports anymore.
"Yes! We need to do this a lot more often now! Even if we do end up with boyfriends. We need to make time for our girl days," Kira says, scrolling through her Netflix account she signed into on the tv in my room.
"What shall we watch?" I ask, grabbing some skittles, and popping them in my mouth.
"The Vampire Diaries?" Kira suggests, and we all agree. It's been years since I've watched this show, and I never finished it. Let the girls day begin.