Blair grabbed the duffel bag out of her closet, throwing it on her bed. Jason was asleep by the time she made it back in, still tired from the party the night before. A part of her wanted to wake him up then, but decided against it. She had paced around in her room for hours, trying to figure out what to do.
Finally, she had called her uncle to let him know that she would be taking some time away from Gotham. She missed Dick, she had said. She just wanted to spend some time with him for a little bit, to think of it like a vacation. Unsurprisingly, he was completely on board with the idea, telling her to take her time and enjoy her time away.
Blair went to her closet, throwing random shirts and jeans onto her bed before emptying her sock and underwear drawers. She looked up at herself in the mirror, a picture of her and Jason leaning against their motorcycles outside sticking in the corner of the reflective surface.
She stared at it for a few minutes, a bit of uncertainty clouding her thoughts before she grabbed her journal and started to write. It only took her a few seconds, but she wrote anyway. When she was done, she quickly ripped the page out of her journal which she threw on the bed with her clothes, then folded it up and stuck it in her pocket.
She threw open the bag, shoving all the clothes and necessities into it, not even bothering to stop and organize it like she usually did. She was halfway through filling the bag up when her phone started to ring for the third time that day. She was tempted to send it to voicemail, but saw Hank's name and picture flashing up at her, "Hank, this is not the best time."
"Blair," His broken voice came from the other end of the line, causing her to stop her mindless packing for a minute as fear sank in. "It's Dawn."
"Hank? What's happened? What's happened to Dawn? Are you okay?" She was aware that her words sounded rushed and blended together, but at that moment all she couldn't slow her speech. For a moment, no one spoke, the only sound was Hank's ragged breathing. "Hank, what happened? Talk to me, tell me where you are."
"Hospital. We're at the hospital by the apartment." He said finally, his voice slow and shaky like he was trying to hold it all in. "I can't remember the name right now, but-"
"Hey, calm down. I know where it is." She assured him, the tears she had been holding in all evening threatening to leave her eyes. She reached for the rest of the clothes on her bed, shoving them into the bag while she wiped her eyes. "I'll be there in an hour, maybe hour and a half. Everything is going to be fine."
"Blair-"
"It's okay. I'm on my way. I'll be there soon." Blair sniffed, rubbing her eyes and nose again, zipping the duffel bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "Tell Dawn to hang on for me. I'm coming. Tell her I'm coming."
She hung up the phone, immediately ordering an Uber, and walked to her door, not even pausing to turn around as she turned off the lights. The only thing that made her hesitate was Jason's slightly open door across from her. She thought about opening it, seeing him one last time before she took off, but she knew the minute she opened his door, she wouldn't be able to leave.
Blair pushed herself onward, making it down the stairs silently. She made it to the front door, taking the folded up piece of paper out of her pocket to put on the table in the entry way when Alfred appeared behind her clearing his throat, "Where are you going this late? Or should I say this early?"
She turned around slowly, adjusting the duffel bag on her shoulder as she met Alfred's inquisitive stare, "Hank called. Something happened to Dawn, I'm going to DC."
"Going to DC, hmm? For a visit or do you plan on moving there permanently?" He eyed the bulging bag on her shoulder. "Or is this just a stop before you end up somewhere else, with a certain former Boy Wonder?"
"I just need some time away, to figure things out." She sighed, inching closer to the door. "And I think, it might help... I don't know... just being with him for a little while... I just... I need him. Nothing makes sense right now, and I just need it to make sense."
Alfred nodded as it made sense to him, but his eyes said otherwise, "When will you be back?"
"I don't know." Alfred opened his mouth to speak, probably to lecture her about her uncertainty, possibly to remind her of another person that left in the middle of the night and never came back, when she immediately added, "I'm not leaving forever. I just need a break."
"That's why you're sneaking out before Master Jason wakes up?" So he knew. Just looking at the knowing look on his face, Blair could tell. This wasn't a decision she had made on a whim, she wasn't leaving for a break, for a vacation and he knew it.
"I broke a rule, Alfred. My rule." She decided not to explain which rule, after all, she only had one. One everyone knew by heart, everyone but her own heart apparently. "I broke it and I don't know what to do. I'm just-"
"Scared?" Blair didn't answer, just looked to the side at the door. She could make a break for it, but she wouldn't put it past Alfred to chase after her until he got a satisfactory answer. "Running away isn't going to solve your problem and it isn't going to make you any less scared. How do you think he's going to feel when he wakes up and finds you gone? Hmm?"
She shifted her gaze back to the older man, "I'm thinking he'll realize how big a mistake he made kissing me and saying that..." She trailed off, not able to finish her sentence, not able to repeat what Jason had said in the Batcave.
Alfred raised an eyebrow, urging her to continue talking, "Saying what?"
Her phone vibrated in her pocket, indicating that her driver was there to pick her up, "Nothing. Nothing, I need to go. Dawn needs me." She sent a quick text back, telling the driver that she was running a little late but she would pay extra if he waited. Blair picked up the note she left on the table, holding it out to Alfred with a pleading look, "Just give him this. Tell him I'm sorry, tell him I'll be back. Don't let them replace me, Alfred. Please."
"There'll be no replacing you, Miss Blair." He took the note out of her hand, sticking it in his front pocket. "Though I do hope you won't be taking an extended vacation. Nothing longer than, say, two weeks?"
"I can't lose him, Alfred." Blair sighed, feeling anger rise at the same time as tears sprang to her eyes. This was the last thing she had to be worrying about. Dawn was in the hospital and needed her. Hank needed her. She needed to be strong.
Alfred studied her eyes closely, "Then why are you running?"
"He deserves more." She said, like it was a simple truth. To her it was. Jason had a tough enough life as it was, the last thing he needed was to commit himself to her. She couldn't even promise that she would be alive a month from now, her life was just as dangerous and full of uncertainty as his was. She couldn't hurt him and she didn't even want to give him the chance to hurt her, she didn't want to be standing beside his dead body one day, feeling the entire world crumble around her.
"Don't you ever say that you aren't worthy enough of someone's love. Don't you ever say that he deserves more than you." Alfred almost yelled angrily, surprising Blair. He had never raised his voice at her before, this was new. "Miss Blair, you are the most kind, selfless, and caring person I have ever met. That boy has loved you a lot longer than you realize and you have loved him just as long. I will not stand here and listen to you put yourself down. You deserve to be loved and dammit, running away won't change anything!"
"I'm not running away!" Blair hissed, slightly offended by the accusation, despite the fact that that was exactly what she was doing. In her mind, she was planning on coming back, therefore she was not technically running away. Not really.
Alfred didn't budge, "Then put the bag back in your room and take Jason with you!"
"I can't." She shook her head sadly. "This is something I have to do and I have to do it alone. Please, try to understand that."
Alfred stood up straight, rolling his shoulders back, giving her one last knowing look before opening the door himself, "Fine. Go 'find yourself.' But just know that it's going to lead you right back here unless he gets to you first."
********
Jason walked down the stairs to the living room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He had checked Blair's room when he had woken up, surprised to find her bed still made and the room completely empty. He assumed that she had stayed with Kate and Kara, working until late in the night and decided to just crash on Kate's couch.
When he made it to the last step, he looked up, noticing Bruce sitting on the couch and Alfred standing behind him. They both looked like they were waiting for him to come down the stairs. Shaking his head, he sat down across from Bruce, "Well, good morning to you too."
Bruce looked up at Alfred, both of them seemingly having a silent conversation that he was not a part of. Jason looked around the house, surprised to see that Blair was still nowhere to be found. He looked back at Bruce, confusion clouding his head, "What's going on? Where's Blair?"
"Blair... she left early this morning." Bruce answered, leaning forward, propping his elbows up on his knees and curling his fingers together. "Hank called from a hospital in DC, apparently something happened to Dawn."
"So she's in DC?" Jason glanced between Bruce and Alfred again. They were hiding something, he could tell just by the way they were looking at him like the dog died. The thought caused him to quickly glance around the living room, seeing Popchik chewing on a dog bone much too big for him in the corner. He turned back to the older men, "Why are you both looking at me like that?"
Bruce opened his mouth to respond when Alfred answered for him, "She was leaving before she got the call, Master Jason."
It was like a bomb had gone off in his head, suddenly everything was too loud and too quiet at the same time. He struggled to listen as Bruce started to speak again, "We don't know how long she'll be gone, but we know where she is. Well, more like who she's with."
"She's with him, isn't she?" Bruce and Alfred looked at each other again, not needing to confirm his words. It was obvious. If she decided to leave Gotham, even for a little bit, who else would she be with? Yet, "But she wouldn't just leave like that. Not without telling me. She wouldn't leave."
"She didn't." Alfred said quickly, pulling a folded up piece of paper out of his pocket. "Actually, she made it very clear that she would be back. She told me to give you this." The older man walked around the couch, handing the note to Jason, his name on the top in Blair's quick handwriting.
Bruce stood up, heading to the grandfather clock open to the Batcave, "We're going to be in the Batcave if you need anything."
"Why are you acting like this is the end of the world?" Jason snapped, standing up. "So she decided to take off on a vacation, so what? She'll be back, it's not that big of a deal."
"She left because of what happened with the two of you." Bruce's words hit him like a ton of bricks. No, like an 18-wheeler.
Jason sank back down to the couch, the note Blair wrote still in his hands. Alfred gave Bruce a disbelieving shake of the head, turning back to face the boy on the couch, "Master Jason-"
"Just go." His voice didn't even sound like his own. It sounded hoarse, empty, it sounded broken.
Bruce gave him a sympathetic look, "Jason-"
"GO!" He yelled, the sound making even him wince. Popchik whined in the corner, following Bruce and Alfred into the Batcave, leaving his giant dog bone on the floor.
Blair was gone. No, she wasn't gone. She just wasn't there for now. She was taking a break. From him. Because of what he did. But that couldn't have been it, after all, she kissed him back. Then why wasn't she here?
Swallowing hard, he opened the note, reading to himself:
I'm sure by now you're hating me and wishing you had never kissed me, never told me how you felt, but I don't. I'm sure Alfred or Bruce told you where I am, who I'm with, after all, they always know, don't they? And as much as I want to say it has nothing to do with you, it does. I wasn't expecting to break my rule and I tried so hard not to. But every single time you laughed, every single time you made some sarcastic remark behind Bruce's back, I couldn't help it. I need some time to figure this all out, because this is different than anything I've ever felt before. I didn't even feel like this with Jericho and I thought that was it. I'll be home when I figure this out, I promise you. Don't try to come after me, it'll just make everything worse. I need some time. I promise this is the last note like this you'll ever get from me. Please don't blame yourself like I know you will. This is on me. B.
Jason read it over and over again, each time feeling more helpless and confused than the last. Finally, he realized that that confusion and helplessness was exactly what Blair was feeling. He had completely turned her world upside down.
Angry with himself, he grabbed one of the glasses on the side table next to him, throwing it against the wall. He watched as the broken glass fell, sitting back down on the couch, her note in hand. "Please don't blame yourself." She had written. Even then, she was more focused on trying to help him understand when she couldn't understand herself. The anger he felt faded away and he found he only loved her more.
********
Blair rushed up to the nurse's station the minute she got to the hospital, her duffel bag slamming against her shoulder blades like a painful reminder of what she just left behind in Gotham City. She didn't have time to be upset about her decision to leave, she was there for a reason. "Is there a Dawn Granger or Hank Hall here?"
Before the nurse could open her mouth, a familiar blond man walked up to the desk, walking out of the critical care ward, "Blair?"
"Hank!" She dropped her bag by the desk, running and tackling Hank in a tight hug. Hank hugged her back just as tight before letting her go to get a better look at her. She looked up at him, seeing a few scrapes and bruises. "Is she- are you-"
"She's back here." He gestured to the hallway with his hand while Blair picked up her bag, slinging it over her shoulder once more. They started down the hallway, Hank eyeing the bag suspiciously. "What's with the duffel bag, kiddo? You running away?"
"Dawn's in the hospital and I don't even know how bad she is, but you're worried about the duffel bag?" She shook her head. Hank looked at her in concern, which she just shook off. "Hank, I'm fine. I'm just taking a vacation to figure some shit out."
"Vacation, huh? Visiting anywhere specific?" He asked lightly, like he was trying to distract himself from the situation they were both in.
Blair didn't answer, just took his large hand in hers in a comforting gesture, though comfort for whom neither one knew. The walked down the long hallway in silence, stopping in front of Dawn's room.
The door was open, Blair able to see Dawn's broken body in the hospital bed, hooked up to multiple machines and tubes. Her mind flashed back to the drug induced nightmare she had a year ago, the one in which Dawn looked just like she looked now. She lifted her hand to her mouth, tears threatening to spill from her eyes, "Oh my god, it's just like in my nightmares."
"What. Happened." She asked through clenched teeth, her eyes still on her friend, her family, fighting for her life in a hospital bed. "I want to know who did this and why."
"I don't know." Hank responded quietly. "Dick came by with this kid-"
"What?" Blair turned her head to face him in surprise. "Dick and a kid did this?"
"There were people after her, the girl. I don't know what they wanted, but we fought like hell." Hank swallowed hard, like he was trying to be strong. It was an expression Blair knew well. Hell, she was wearing the same one. "They threw Dawn off the roof, banged me both me and Dick up, then disappeared with the girl."
"I'm so sorry." She said, like the words would do any good. She should have been there. "This is all my fault, if I would've been there-"
"What? No, no one is blaming you for shit you weren't around for. None of this is on you. It's not even on Dick, not really." Blair didn't respond, she just gazed at Dawn in pain. Hank hit her arm lightly, getting her to look up at him, "Hey, I mean it. None of us saw this coming. There was no way you could have stopped it even if you were there. It could've just as easily been you in that bed."
Blair nodded, wiping her eyes. Hank pulled her in for a hug, a hug in which she tried squeezing the tears to the back of her eyes. He stepped back, looking at the doctor behind her, "I'll give you two a minute. I need to get some air."
Blair slowly stepped into the room, dropping her bag at the foot of the bed and sitting in the chair next to it. She reached forward, grabbing Dawn's hand. "Hi Dawn. It's me. It's been a while."
She studied all the bruises and cuts that marred Dawn's body, wishing nothing more than to hear her laugh again. She would've wanted Dawn to be able to help her out in this situation, but now she just wished she had the power to heal her.
"If you were awake, you'd probably be lecturing me for the duffel bag with me. They say that people in comas can hear what's around them, and if that's true, what I'm about to say might actually shock you awake. If that happens, you have every right to yell at me and tell me I'm being stupid. You and Donna might be the only ones that would, not that Alfred hasn't." Blair looked closely for any signs that Dawn could hear her. She didn't really know what to look for, but she looked anyway. "I met a boy. Well, I didn't exactly meet him so much as threatened to throw him off a cliff. He's, um, he's the new Robin. But, he's my best friend... and I- I messed up."
Using her free hand, she wiped the tears from her face, "Wow, I can't believe I'm sitting here in front of one of my worst nightmares and I can't stop talking about a damn boy. I am literally the worst person." She swallowed hard, looking at Dawn's unconscious body again. "Just know that I'm going to find who did this to you, I don't care what it costs me, I will make them pay."
"I would say I don't like the sound of that, but I said the exact same thing." A voice came from the doorway.
Blair turned around in her chair, the tears that she had just wiped away returning to her eyes as she saw who had spoken, "Dick."
She let go of Dawn's hand, running across the room, squeezing him tight as the tears fell from her eyes. "It's really you, you're really here."
"I'm here." Dick assured her, holding her tight as she cried. "I'm here."
A/N: And welcome to Titans season 1, ladies and gentlemen