⚠️❗️ CAUTION WILL MENTION SUICIDE AND POSSIBLY SELF HARMING: click away if triggering to you. ⚠️❗️
Namjoon's POV
Namjoon couldn't take the abuse any more. What did he do to deserve this...? He got good grades he was quiet and kind.
He didn't think this would ever happen to him. He sighed as another tear dropped down his already tear stained cheek looking down at the ground so far away as he prepared to jump.
It all happened a few months ago...
Namjoon was so excited this was his senior year in high school. He was determined to do his best and beyond and graduate heathy and with top scores.
He quickly ran downstairs grabbing a banana and ran out of the door saying quick byes to his parents.
He walked on the sidewalk and looked over his schedule for the one hundredth time. Smiling brightly so his dimples were showing. He was so focused he didn't see the man in front of them and he bumped into him falling down.
The man turned around and glared at Namjoon who was on the ground things all over he just rolled his eyes.
"S-s-sorry..." muttered out intimidated by this man who just rolled his eyes. Namjoon blushed as he realized that his crush of two years was now noticing him. The boy tsksd walking away leaving Namjoon flustered on the ground.
"Rude..." Namjoon muttered to himself before picking up his things and headed to school
After a few of Namjoons morning classes Namjoon was finally able to meet up with his best friend Park Jimin.
They both met in elementary they were in the same grade and they both really cared about their grades. In middle school Namjoon was president and Jimin Vice President.
Namjoon waved at Jimin who was wearing his adorable big black framed glasses. Jimin smiles making his eyes form into crescents and he waved back and sat down next to Namjoon at a lunch table.
They talked about their classes Jimin said he liked all of his teachers already. They were both laughing and giggling to Namjoon noticed a familiar looking boy enter.
Namjoon immediately stopped giggling and stared at the male from that morning.
Hey Joonie you alright?" Jimin asked looking around to find the source of Namjoons weird behavior.
Jimin chuckled as he realized that Namjoon was staring at his crush he turned back and pouted at him.
"You know you never told me his name ~" Jimin whined feeling left out because he didn't know.
~flash back ended (for now)~
"Min Yoongi.." Namjoon muttered to himself before he felt a lump form in his throat as he let out a choked sob.
Min Yoongi.... was Namjoons first love he thought he could get close to the boy.
He thought that they would be happy but little did he know fate had other plans.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jimin gasped surprised his friend would like a bad boy.
Jimin pouted at Namjoon "make sure you don't get yourself hurt Joonie" Jimin warned since he read a lot of Romances and fanfics and knew it would hurt his best friend if he wasn't careful.
Namjoon nodded and stopped breathing when his crush the 'min fricking Yoongi' came to his table.
Yoongi came to his table with an male student who looked like he was just about a year younger than them.
He had brown hair and a cute bunny smile which didn't quite fit with his bad boy persona. (A/n: stream persona) he was quite muscular too. 'Just Jimins type' Namjoon thought to himself.
Both of the 'bad boys' sat down across from Jimin and Namjoon. Namjoon coughed since the other two males weren't starting the conversation he thought he should then.
"H-Hi this is Jimin and I am-" he started but was quickly cute off by the bunny boy.
He smirked at Jimin "why hello cutie~ my name is jungkook how are you doing~?" Namjoon puffed his cheeks not believing how rude this kid was.
He opened his mouth to say something to the younger but gained a glare from his crush Namjoon shrunk back into his seat.
Jimin was flustered as he was being hit on by jungkook he didn't notice his best friend feeling increasingly more and more uncomfortable by the second.
Namjoon stood up and muttered a quick excuse and left the table and headed to the halls he was so embarrassed and flustered that he didn't even notice that he was being followed.
Namjoon opened his locker and sighed rethinking what happened well that is at least before he was shoved into his locker by his crush causing him to yelp in pain.
Yoongi rolls his eyes "you're so pathetic." Was all that he said before he walked away leaving Namjoon hurt and confused.
Namjoon thought that Yoongi was just having an off day and shrugged the event off. He didn't want to tell his friend because he truly seemed to like Jungkook and was happy he didn't want to ruin that for his friend.
Little did he know that this would be the start of his new hellish life.
Jimin and Jungkook grew closer that meant Namjoon had more time to hang out with Yoongi. It wasn't bad when they were with the other two Yoongi would just ignore Namjoon, but the moment they were alone together Yoongi would bring hell to Namjoons life.
Namjoon would go to school to find hateful comments on his locker, books and desk. At first he tried ignoring it and would just clean off the horrible words.
But then Namjoon started believing every word that was on his desk.
"Ugly...."
" non talented..."
"Fat..."
"Burden.."
The words would get worst and they would tell him to kill himself.
Namjoons self confidence washed away day by day. His heart felt heavy, he found it hard to truly emotionally react to anything.
So he would fake a smile...
When he saw how happy Jimin was with Jungkook and when Jimin asked him if he was okay.
He would hide his pain...
Never telling anyone what was happening, not wanting to bother anyone with his problems he felt like he was just a burden.
He would hide his tears...
He wouldn't cry in front of the Yoongi and his gang he would cry alone in the bathroom during lunch.
He would cry himself to sleep every night wanting the pain to just go away so he could be happy once more.
He would hide the fact that he wasn't eating.
He would hide the cuts and scars on his arms with long sleeves...
The cuts that would make the pain go away just for a little bit. The cuts that were so addicting...
The cuts he would make as he stared at himself repeating the horrible words that he would have to clean off his desk everyday.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Namjoon bit his lips as tears flooded down his face he looked down at his arms.
'Why does Yoongi hate me so much?'
'What did I do?'
'Why do i still love him..?'
Namjoon took a step closer to the ledge looking down from the schools rooftop. He would miss this place, he would miss Jimin.... he would even miss Yoongi....
Namjoon didn't believe in god but he prayed to whatever mighty being there was that his parents and Jimin won't hate him for what he was about to do.
Maybe if the bullying stopped it wouldn't have gone this way. Maybe if Namjoon wasn't foolish enough to stay after school this wouldn't have happened.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Earlier today
Namjoon was hiding in the bathroom like usual during lunch. He locked himself in the stall and pulled out a razor creating more cuts on his legs since his arms didn't have much room left.
His cheeks were tear stained as he thought of all the imperfections on himself. His looks, his clumsiness, even though he lost half of his body weight he still thought he was too fat.
He sniffles as he saw the crimson red spill from his tan skin. He quickly bandages it up not wanting to stain his uniform.
He wiped his tears and left the stall as he exited the bathroom to the hallway he was pulled into a closet. He almost let out a scream but his mouth was covered by someone's hand.
He eyes watered as he recognized the scent Yoongi was the one who pulled him in here.
"Are you going to be quiet?" Yoongi asked lowly. Namjoon nodding in response just wanting to get this over with as fast as possible.
"Good.." he mumbled before letting Namjoon go. Namjoon wiped his tears trying to seem brave. "W-what do you want?" He asked in a small voice trying to sound intimidating earning a smack across the face from Yoongi.
"Listen here mutt you're going to come after school to hang out with me and some friends~" he smirked softly.
Namjoon held his face softly looking at the ground he nodded slowly.
Yoongi grabbed Namjoon by the hair and pulled it back "use your words mutt!" He demanded
"I-I-I'll go..." Namjoon muttered out his eyes watering.
Yoongi nodded in approval and threw Namjoon against the ground and left first.
Namjoon winced as a few of his scars had opened up and he was now bleeding badly. He grabbed some of his bandages and fixed himself up.
He brought his knees to his chest wrapping his arms around them and sobbed into them. He stayed like that until the school day was over.
Namjoon quietly opened the door and looked around he didn't see any teachers around. He bit his lip and made his way to where Yoongi and his buddies would always hang out.
Namjoons breath hitched and his heart beat faster as he slowly made his way to the old gym. He slowly crept into the room where he saw Yoongis friends sitting.
"Mutt you're late!" One of Yoongis friends hissed. The one of Yoongis newest friend named Jackson chuckled and made his way to Namjoon and grabbed him by the collar.
"I'll teach you what happens when you are late" he sneered and connected his fist to Namjoons Jaw as he punched him hard causing Namjoon to fall on the ground and groan in pain.
Namjoon tried to stand up but was kicked back down by another bully. Namjoon held his stomach and closed his eyes waiting for the pain to stop.
The pain only worsened as all of the bullies (around 6 of them) started to kick namjoon as well. He was coughing up blood and sobbing begging them to stop.
Namjoon flinched when he heard a booming voice
"What's going on here?!" All of the men turned to see a pissed off yoongi. He went up to Joon and tried to help him up he was about to say something when Namjoon ran out of there as fast as he could.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
So here he is on the school rooftop Namjoon looked up at the sun setting and sighed quietly his crying softening. There was only one way to stop the bullies and the pain forever.
Namjoon wipes his bloody and tearful face as he took a picture and sent it to Jimin along with a paragraph asking him not to hate him for what he was about to do.
Namjoon bit his lip and walked to the edge of the rooftop and threw his phone off the edge watching as it fell down and down and down until it finally hit and broke into a hundred different pieces.
Namjoon turned around to see a frightened Yoongi. Namjoon smiled softly at him the man he still loved as he took one step backwards.
Yoongi started pleading with him "please Namjoon! Please don't do this!" He tried coming closer tears flowing down his cheeks.
"I love you..."
was all Namjoon said before he closed his eyes and took one final step off the rooftop.
A/N: Sorry about such a sad one I read a story and got inspired I will do a part 2 and guys I just want you to know if you are feeling depressed and like you need to talk to someone feel free to talk to me I'll listen without judgement and try to help you 💙