THE PANICKING
I wake up to find my left arm completely dead because the bitch sleeping next to me decided it would be fun to smash it with his body. He is supposed to be small so I don’t get this. I’m not sure if I’m allowed to call him a bitch or not, now that we are… now that we are… Wait, I’m starting to feel dizzy.
I pull my arm out very carefully because I do not want to wake him up. I need some alone time during mornings and I think I should let him know as soon as possible. Oh, shit. What if he gets really loud during mornings? I’m not sure I thought this through but wait, I need to chill. It’s all good, Harry, just relax. Nothing has changed. Well, except for the fact that you have a boyfriend now. HOLY CRAP! I have a boyfriend.
I jump out of bed to run to the bathroom. I look at my reflection on the mirror, “Harry Styles,” I say as I point my finger at myself, “You have a boyfriend.” WHAT THE HELL HAVE I DONE?
I breathe in and out a few times because it kind of feels like I’m panicking. “Just relax, nothing has changed,” I mumble to myself. “I mean, look at you,” I nod at the mirror, “I’m still hot and beautiful. My hair looks better than ever, something about the weather in Brazil I guess, I don’t know,” I sigh, “Nothing has changed. I’m still the same gorgeous man.”
But there are a few differences though. First, I haven’t had sex in like forever, which is not me at all and I’m afraid my buddy down there is suffering. Wait, could this be dangerous? What if it gets ruined or something? I need to Google it as soon as I can.
Okay, I’m starting to feel better because there are no huge differences actually. Just that Louis is my boyfriend now. Is that a smirk I see on my face? I get closer to the mirror. It is definitely a smirk but why am I smirking? Am I happy or something? God, I’m lame. Louis is my boyfriend. There, another smirk.
“Louis is my boyfriend,” I say out loud. Okay, this is starting to become stupid. “Harry, Louis is your boyfriend,” I tell myself. Damn, is it just me or I’m prettier now that I have a boyfriend? I probably am. I love how after all this years, my looks keep surprising me. I just can’t seem to stop the beautifulness. I’m like a good ass wine: the older, the better. I’m not old though, shut up.
“Louis Something is my boyfriend,” I repeat and I swear, this is the last time. Oh my God, I don’t even know his last name. Just kidding, I just like to overreact and second guess myself all the time. I know his last name is Tomlinson, I know his middle name is William. I know, even though he never told me, that his birthday is the day before baby Jesus was born. Stalker alert.
“Aw,” I say out loud. “What the hell?” I slap my mouth with my hand. It’s actually happening. I’m Gayer than Gayness now and it’s all because I hang out with him too much. The fucking tourist turned me into a pink butterfly.
“Whatever,” I shrug. I’m done being in a relationship. It’s been fun and all but I miss being single. I have plenty reasons to be proud of, 7 hours is long enough for a first time. I’ll just get out there and I’ll break up with him. He’ll cry and beg me to take him back and everything but I need to remain strong. My masculinity is something I really appreciate and being with Bum puts it in jeopardy.
“Aw,” I say again, “Bum,” I swear I overdid myself with that nickname. Hell no! I’m not going to let this happen. I can’t go around life Awing all the time, that’s what Louis, my boyfriend, does. There, another smirk.“Man up, Styles!” I yell at myself. Man up and go out there to break up with him.
“Hey, Louis, listen. It’s been fun and all but I think,” I say when I leave the bathroom. I lift my face to see him still asleep. I feel something on my chest and, even if I don’t see it, I know the smirk is there.
I walk to the bed and I sit right next to him, still being very silent because I need to process the whole thing before he wakes up. He is so damn beautiful. No way I’m breaking up with him. Not because I’m proud of having him as my boyfriend or anything, just because I’m not going to end a relationship without, you know, doing it first.
I’m just sitting here, staring at how he sleeps. How creepy. He looks like he is having a nice dream because I see a smile on his face. A smile I want to erase with the hell of a kiss but I wont do it because I like him better when he is asleep. I love it how he whimpers so low when he is sleeping. I should just keep him like that all the time, you know.
Good morning, tourist, here is your breakfast but, before you take your sleeping pill again, let’s have sex, okay? That could totally work. I wouldn’t catch the gayness but I’d still be with him. I like how my brain works.
Why am I doing this? I mean, the second sexiest man alive is my boyfriend and I’m trying to screw things up. But I know what the problem is… It’s hard to admit it but I’ve never been this happy in my life and I’m just afraid that I’ll end up doing something to ruin everything. I don’t want to ruin this. I’m terrified of how devastated I’d be if I ever do something to make him want to leave me.
And I don’t even know what to do. What I’m supposed to say? Good morning, boyfriend. Let’s go have breakfast. I suck at this and I can’t call Zayn or Liam because I would have to explain everything and I’m not ready yet. Plus I still hate them for hiding their incest from me. I’ll call the model, she may be a slut but she knows about relationships.
“S.O.S.,” I tell her as soon as she picks up the phone, “We need to talk.”
“Harry,” her morning voice sucks, “It’s like-”
“It’s past 10 am, no excuses. You have to get up and come,” I cut her off.
“But I went to bed at 8,” she whines.
“Not my problem. You can’t be sleeping at 10 am.”
“Ugh, what do you need to talk about? Talk to the tourist.”
“It’s about him,” I explain, “I asked him to be my boyfriend and now I’m freaking out.”
“Awww,” she drags the word way too much.
“You see? This is happening because we hang out with him. We are all gay now.”
“There’s a naked ginger sleeping next to me. I’m not being gay right now,” she laughs.
“Come or I’ll never talk to you again and I can’t even imagine how painful that must be.”
“Sounds like a dream,” she sighs, “I’ll be there in 5.”
“5 freaking minutes? That’s too long, hurry up.”
“You are so annoying!” she yells.
“Take a picture of the ginger though, I wanna see how that looks like.”
I exit the room and I sit on the floor, right outside the door. A minute later, I get a message from the model. I open it and there it is, a full frontal of the sleepy ginger. That’s big. Good one, Ed.
“Told you he was big,” she says as she sits next to me.
“I was kidding, you sociopath! You didn’t have to send me this. I can’t believe you!”
“Why did you ask then?” she shrugs.
“It was a joke!”
“Whatever, it’s too early to see the difference and I wanted to show off. I sent it to my other friends too,” she says. What the hell?
“You are freak,” I laugh at her.
“I know,” she seems proud, “I was born this way, baby.”
“So…” I sigh, expecting her to bring up the subject.
“You have a boyfriend now,” she gets annoying, “Harry and the tourist sitting in a tree. K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”
“Are you seriously doing this again?”
“Wait,” she shushes me, “I know the full lyrics now. Let me finish.”
“Go ahead, you dumb model.”
“First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in a baby carriage,” she waves her arms in the air, “Thank you, fans, Thank you.”
“That’s the thing,” I sigh, “A baby in a baby carriage will never come.”
“Oh, Harry, don’t make me feel like shit now,” she pouts.
“It’s true. I’ll never know what having a child with the love of your life is. I’ll never get that feeling, you know? Like my mom and dad, they used to always argue about to who of them I resemble the most. I’ll never get that.”
“I see what your worry is,” she sighs, “But you are jumping way ahead in time, Harry. Just let things be and enjoy the moment.”
“But I’m afraid that I’ll end up screwing things up as I always do,” I turn to her, “I really like him, Cara. I really do.”
“I know that, babe. And so be with him and try to be the best man you can be. I’ll probably regret telling you this but you are nowhere near to be as bad as you think you are. You are freaking sweet cupcake. Louis is a very lucky guy.”
“Don’t call me babe, it’s weird,” I frown at her.
“A freaking sweet asshole cupcake,” she corrects herself.
“What am I supposed to do now? How do I act? Do I have to be all rainbows and colours now or what? I have no idea.”
“You just have to be yourself,” she laughs, “That’s the way he likes you. You were the worst with him at first and he is still around. He does need to go to therapy but you should take advantage of his mental illness.”
“You are not helping,” I shake my head.
“I’m kidding. Don’t stress about this, just be yourself and do the things you want to do. If you want to be all colours and rainbows, do it. He is your first boyfriend, Harry. Just enjoy the hell out of this moment because things will get boring later on.”
“That’s bright,” I joke, “But thank you, this is good advice.”
“I can still remember Alejandro,” she sighs, “My first boyfriend.”
“You know that I love you, boy. Hot like Mexico,” I sing.
“Exactly,” she laughs, “I’m happy for you, idiot,” she rests her head on my shoulder.
“I’m happy for you too, slut,” I rest my head on hers, “Seems like things between you and the ginger are going well.”
A minute of silence follows and I thought she was just making a pause to add suspense but then I hear her snorting. “What the hell? Cara!”
“What? What happened?” she jumps up.
“How can you fall asleep so quickly?”
“I’m dying, Harold. Ed is a machine and I don’t think I’ll be able to follow his rhythm for much longer. He’ll wake up in a few hours and I’m sure he will want to do it again. What should I do?”
“Fuck the hell out the red hair,” I laugh as I stand up to go back to my room, “I envy you. I haven’t done it since I got here so stop whining and enjoy.”
“Will try,” she says as she walks back to her room, “Squeeze Louis’ butt for me, would you? Ed’s is kind of flat.”
“Go to sleep,” I laugh at her, “Hey, Cara!” I call her.
“Stop calling me by my name, it’s freaking me out,” she turns around, “What is it?”
“I kind of want to surprise the bitch with breakfast now, should I? Or is it too much?”
“Do it,” she smiles, “It’s sweet, he will love it. I’ll actually copy your idea but I need sleep so I’ll surprise my bitch with lunch instead.”
“Great, see you later at the lobby? We could share the ride to the airport.”
“See you later, boyfriend,” she teases, “Hey, Harry!”
“What is it? I’m done with you already, just go!”
“Lock the door,” she laughs, “Just in case he freaks out again.”
“Asshole,” I give her a disgusted look.
“Sorry, I had to! Bye!”
I enter the room and I see the tourist is still sleeping. I order breakfast for two and, once the tray arrives to the room, I take it to the bed.
“Hey there,” I kiss his cheek, “Wake up.”
“Good morning,” he greets me with the sweetest morning voice ever as he stretches his arms.
“Good morning, boyfriend,” I say.
I’m being Gayer than Gayness, I know, but I don’t give a damn. I’m happy like this.
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[ GIF would be Bubu's proud face when Louis told him yes. :) ]