"What did Noah say when you told him about the dress?" Jupiter asks wiping down her end of the counter while I wipe the opposite side.
I shrug thinking about the blank check Maddox gave me that's sitting at the bottom of my underwear drawer. It'd been there for four days and I know I should have just cashed it with the rest of them but it didn't feel right after how nice he was to me. "I didn't tell Noah. I kept some of the money I got to pay for it and gave him the rest for rent."
She whistles lowly, "I just don't understand how you spilled the wine on it in the first place? You're not a clumsy person."
"It's not like I let the person bump into me and well if they hadn't bumped into me then I wouldn't have collided with Maddox and..." I trail off forgetting that I hadn't said anything about him to anyone. Especially not after googling who he was. It certainly explained how he was able to give me a blank check so easily. There was plenty more where it came from but it felt weird so I closed the tab after learning his full name.
"Maddox? You never mentioned meeting anyone," She presses lightly and I roll my eyes.
"He's no one, I meet lots of people at the events, there was just nothing particularly interesting about him."
Except everything was interesting especially his blind faith in humanity. It just didn't make sense to me to look for the good in people when the bad always has a way of coming out. "Well give me some details and I'm sure I can find something interesting about him," Jupiter teases and I roll my eyes grabbing the disinfecting spray again.
"I'm not sure what you expect me to say?" I turn away from her hoping that maybe she'll just drop it.
"His full name?"
I shrug again resisting the urge to let his name roll off my tongue because I shouldn't care, "I just got his first name. Besides it's not like I'm ever going to see him again so it's fine." And I'm not going to try. Instead, I'm going to focus on making this counter shiny enough that I can see my reflection in it.
"All jokes aside, are you okay?" Jupiter asks pulling on my arm to get me to face her.
"Why wouldn't CJ be okay?" Noah asks from the other side of the counter and I instantly smile at the sound of his voice. His mood instantly got brighter after I got home the other night and I know that getting the checks helped relieve all the stress he was under. I step onto one of the shelves underneath the counter and he meets me halfway to give me a kiss, "Well that's some hello."
Noah's hazel eyes squint as he smiles at me and all thoughts of Maddox are gone. "Maybe it's just because I missed you. Shouldn't you be at work right now?" I ask setting my rag down as Jupiter finally picks up the pace on her washing.
He hesitates for a moment, "I just started my lunch break and thought I would come to see how much more fun you're having at work than I am."
"Can I get you a drink?" I offer even though my hand is already resting on a bottle of beer knowing that he's going to say yes. He's predictable and a good bartender knows how to quench the thirst of the predictable.
"Sure, uh a Boule-" He doesn't even get to finish saying what brand because I've already set it in front of him on the freshly cleaned countertop. "Thanks, babe."
"Of course."
I pull my hair up into a messy ponytail to keep it out of my face and I catch the look Jupiter gives me because she doesn't like Noah when he drinks. She doesn't even entirely know how he gets. "So Jupiter, what did you mean when you asked CJ if she was okay?" He inquires and I have no idea what's going to come out of her mouth because she knows that I didn't tell him about the dress. As far as he knows I took it back to the store when in reality it's hanging in Jupiter's closet.
"Her mom's birthday is tomorrow and I was just asking if she was alright."
She's right. It is this weekend. I was trying not to think about it and the dress and Maddox were welcome distractions when my other option was thinking about her. Thinking about her brings thoughts of Ty. But the look on Noah's face tells me that her answer confirmed what he assumed she was asking about even though it couldn't have been further from the truth.
Noah's gaze turns onto me as he takes a sip of his beer, "And are you okay?"
I feel my smile tighten but I nod, "I'm good. Uh give me a second guys, I have to grab something from the back but I'll be right back." Jupiter's eyes widen as she takes the shift in my voice into accountability but I slip around her before they can protest. There are only a few customers at this time of day and Jupiter can handle them for a few minutes.
I smile at Hector, one of the chefs, as I walk past him towards the back door which leads to the area where we get deliveries along with also being the designated smoking spot for employees facing addiction. Management is pretty slack around here especially when it comes to drug tests; they only care if you're above twenty-one and know how to make a drink. Fortunately for me, I qualify for both of those and there's the added plus that I'm not an addict but I guess that's subtracted when you take into account that my side job is as a con-artist and I could probably get arrested if I ever got caught.
I brace myself against the brick wall that's cool to the touch helping keep me centered as I push thoughts of Vegas out of my mind. I haven't been back in years nor have I wanted to go back.
My fingers curl into the slight groove where the bricks have started to chip due to age and I try not to let the smell of the trash get to me but they're what kept me grounded.
"Deep breath in and exhale through your nose," I verbally coach myself the same way Maddox did the other night until I feel like the knot in the pit of my stomach has been somewhat subdued to where it came from: gone momentarily but not forgotten.
I don't want to be myself right now.
*********
It was weird being here without a purpose but it was so much easier to blend in. I wore a simple black gown and my hair was curled because I couldn't do much more on my own. I was just here doing a glorified version of people watching because it was better than being left alone to my thoughts.
"I'll probably just end up crashing at Eddie's so I don't have to worry about getting ripped off by a taxi driver when I'm too drunk to walk," Noah jokes half-seriously as he counts the cash on his money clip.
I walk up behind him to wrap my arms around his torso as I stand on my tiptoes to rest my chin on his shoulder, "It's just going to be a low-key night here. A movie with a glass or two of wine."
He smiles softly looking at me in the mirror, "Are you sure you're okay with me going out? I can just stay in and we can order Chinese?"
I resist the urge to twist my hands considering they're wrapped around Noah still, "I'll be fine. I'm a big girl in case you forgot."
Noah turns around with a glint in his eyes, "You certainly don't let me forget it," He murmurs leaning down to press his lips against mine as I'm reminded of last night and I feel my cheeks grow hot.
I let mine linger against his for a few moments before pulling back and smiling, "You should probably get going or you're going to have to play catch up with the rest of the guys."
He glances down at his watch and frowns, "You're definitely right about that."
It shouldn't have been that easy to lie to him and I know I've lied more in the last week to Noah than I have in my entire life. But what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
And it's not like it was anything more than a harmless white lie so it shouldn't matter even if he does find out.
I'm currently blending in with other girls my age discussing their plans after college by just hanging close enough to be considered one of them by someone else passing by but far enough away that they wouldn't associate me with them. It was a happy medium.
"Where did you get your dress?" One of the girls with dark amber-colored hair asks stepping away from the group to stand next to me.
I look down at the folds and feel a name automatically bubble out of my lips, "I think it's a Christian Siriano?"
She smiles easily at me letting her perfect teeth show and I immediately feel self-conscious about the slight crookedness of two of my bottom teeth because we never had enough money for braces and it's hardly noticeable so I never really saw a need for them. Until I'm standing next to someone with teeth straighter than a ruler.
But this version of me instead stands taller and asks what designer made her dress. It's easy conversing with her because the truth to telling a lie is that you have to believe the lie in order for the other person to believe it also. And the lies I'm telling have some truth to them.
She brings up Paris in France whereas I say I've been too but I don't clarify that the Paris I'm referring to is the smaller version of the Eiffel Tower on the Las Vegas Strip. It hardly feels like I'm the one talking as the words just flow out of my mouth. I'm weaving stories about my brother and I running from a butler when in reality we were running from our mother's boyfriends who tried to enter our lives with empty promises only to exit a few weeks later.
It's nice talking to her. I've completely forgotten the blank check sitting in my drawer, my mom's birthday being tomorrow, and the lie I told Noah about where I'd be tonight. The only thing I couldn't forget was fucking Maddox Benson.
She saw him first and I would say her name but I truthfully forgot to introduce myself at the beginning of our conversation and by now we're just too far along in the conversation to where it'd be weird if I asked now.
"Oh my god, I had no idea that Maddox was going to be here. I heard that he was moving back to Boston to be closer to family after everything that happened."
I tuck my hair behind my ear as I try to fight the urge to look over at him, "What do you mean?"
Her eyes widen, "You don't know?" My silence is enough of an answer that she opens her mouth to continue but then I watch her face instantly change while I try to angle myself to keep my face hidden. "Hi Maddox," She greets him smiling wider showing off her perfect teeth.
It doesn't work very well and I know I've been noticed when he stands right next to me, "Hi Gabby, Cassidy," He acknowledges smirking lightly at me and I bite my tongue as I almost correct him to call me CJ.
"Maddox."
He glances down at my dress and nods, "You chose a different color tonight."
I feel my cheeks flush as I remember the ruined dress and my slight meltdown in the bathroom, "Yeah, I didn't want to take any chances with spilling wine on another one."
It's only then that I've realized the group Gabby and I had broken away from had fallen silent trying to listen in to our conversation. "Probably a good idea. Gabby, how is your father?" Maddox asks changing the conversation and Gabby pouts slightly.
She moves to stand closer to him resting her hand on his arm, "Business is so boring, do you really want to know how my dad is doing or were you just trying to find a reason to come over here."
I have to give Maddox credit because he smiles charmingly back at her bold move but steps out of reach letting her hand fall back down, "Would it be bad if I said both?"
The brightness in her eyes fades a little bit because she realizes that he's just trying to nicely let her down. Now I'm desperately wishing that I had finished my google search on him to find out what Gabby was leading towards before he came over.
"He's in London on business right now but I'm sure he'll want to have lunch with you next week." She says politely and I shift my feet trying to decide what I'm supposed to do in this situation.
Maddox nods, "I'll call his secretary and set it up." He then turns to me and offers me his hand, "Cassidy would you care to dance with me?"
I feel like my eyebrows have shot up so high in surprise that I'm surprised they're still on my head especially after I see the way Gabby's smile tightens. Logically I know I shouldn't be doing this but I think I can blame it on the two glasses of champagne I've had at this point. "Uh, sure," It comes out hesitantly and I set my hand in his feeling the warmth of his skin against mine.
He leads me along to the small section filled mostly with children and a few older couples close to where the small orchestra is playing, "You look great," Maddox compliments and I smile as he adjusts his hand placement to my lower back and I curl my hand around his as we start to dance in step. Thank god I took lessons so I would fit in if I was ever asked at one of these. I disagreed with Noah who claimed it was a good idea and he was right.
"Thanks, Maddox," I reply meeting his blue gaze.
"I was surprised to see you with Gabby. She doesn't normally stray from her little group of women who always stand together."
I tilt my head slightly getting a glimpse of them as I let Maddox lead, "You mean the little group of women who are currently staring at us?"
"I hadn't noticed." He replies but doesn't take the time to look if they are staring. Maybe this is just something he's used to. However, getting a lot of attention isn't normally my kind of thing especially when I've probably taken money from a good chunk of the men here.
That little thought snaps me back into reality. I'm Cinderella playing dress-up when in reality I'm nothing more than a con-artist and dancing with Maddox right now is only me begging to get caught. What would Noah and Jupiter think if they knew I was here right now?
"You realize there's no one else dancing right?"
Maddox shrugs slightly, "I think you mean there's no one else our age dancing because I definitely see some little ones dancing."
I look to my left where there's a little girl dancing in between two boys wearing button-ups. Is it bad that the first thought that crosses my mind after seeing her in a dress is that I'm sure it would cover my rent for at least two months if I tried to sell it?
"Are you alright?" Maddox asks twirling me out of my thoughts and I push an automatic smile on my face.
I glance down at our close proximity, "I'm fine. Just a bit tired is all."
His eyes flicker over my face, "Do you know you're a hard person to read?"
Yes.
"No. What makes you say that?"
They stop on my lips for a moment before returning to meet my stare, "You're just very guarded and it's hard to tell when you're into a conversation or if you're just putting a brave face on. Like now; I can't really tell if you want to be dancing with me or if you'd rather be talking to Gabby still."
"If I'm being completely honest, I was running out of things to talk to Gabby about so I think you came into the conversation at the right time."
His face morphs a little into confusion, "Well what were you talking about before I came over?"
I force my cheeks to keep from blushing with embarrassment as I admit it, "You."
Maddox has a bewildered look on his face clearly not expecting me to be honest, "What about me?"
'Only lie when it's necessary. Right now you can tell the truth,' I remind myself before replying to him, "Just how you're moving to Boston after everything that happened."
This is the first time I've truly caught him off guard and his reaction isn't what I expected. Normally I'd see someone's cheeks grow hot getting flustered after hearing someone say that but his don't. His eyes just grow sad and the smile fades from his face until it's completely gone.
People say that eyes are windows to the soul and I never really believed it. But watching the emotion his eyes share what he didn't reveal on his face changed my entire perspective on that saying. It's the only time I've seen him without a smile-again it's only two times but still. It's because of how close we are that I notice the small scar under his right eye but I lose track of it moments later as I'm tilted back in a different direction.
He's quiet and careful with his word choice, "Do you know what happened or are you just being polite by not calling the elephant in the room like everyone else here?"
Which elephant in the room? The one where I'm a fraud?
I shouldn't have come here. Just follow the fucking rules CJ. I curl my fingers slightly tighter around his before pulling out of his grip completely, "I don't know, but I also don't expect you to tell me because you feel like you have to. Whatever happened is your business and I'm sorry but I have to go."
Turning away from him was probably the smartest decision I'd made tonight as I try to slip back into the shadows, but it feels like a giant spotlight has been shone on me since I accepted his hand. I shouldn't have agreed to dance with him, especially with Noah not knowing the truth about where I am. All this is going to do is screw things up.
I'm not sure why I came tonight? Trying to forget my mother's birthday isn't an excuse I can really use at this point even though I know that Noah would accept it as one. Not wanting to be myself right now isn't an excuse either. No one made me into who I am as much as I'd like to blame it on my family but I dug myself into this hole and I'm not going to bring Maddox down with me.
"Cassidy! Cassidy wait a second..." Maddox calls out behind me but I've slipped from the hall into one of the staff only hallways that I had used to get in. I hold my breath waiting for him to figure out where I've gone but he doesn't.
Curiosity kills the cat or in this case, my cover.