-Jared-
I hadn't wanted to leave Electra back there, but I needed to. I had lost control with her again, and that wasn't okay. The control I had been working to gain ever since I had been turned completely vanished around her.
I had to get away to get that control back. My fangs and claws had come out, I hadn't been able to put them away easily and those breathless words-
Jared, please.
What had she been asking of me? Did she want me to do it right then, was that what she had been asking? Or was that her breathless cry for help, for me to stop? I hadn't been sure and that's why I had to pull away.
When my car rolled to a stop out front of my house I looked down at my phone again reading the only message my sister had sent to me.
I hope you tapped that good.
I tipped my head back against the leather seat and sighed loudly. No, she hadn't blown up my phone, and her words hadn't been those of worry, they'd been encouraging.
I knew she would have noticed my absence, there was never anyone else in the house. When only two people live somewhere and one of them is gone, the absence is even more noticable. I also knew she would be encouraging of me going after Electra, heck, she even admitted to wanting to go after Electra. The only reason she said she hadn't was because it wouldn't be fair to me because there wouldn't be any competition.
I let out a small chuckle as I thought about the conversation we'd had about that about. I shook my head and let out another sigh as I opened the car door and got out, making my way up to the house.
The door opened with a loud creak and I heard Alex call from the other room.
"There you are. I'm assuming you had a good time," she said peeking through the entryway and wiggling her eyebrows at me. "Tell me all about it, was it good? I sure hope you took good care of her."
"We didn't do anything, Alex," I said, feeling the heat creep up into my cheeks.
"I know you're lying, and apparently whatever it was you did, you're still thinking about."
I raised my brows at her with the question all over my face.
"Bro, you've got a little bit of a hard on there."
The heat intensified and I started up the stairs to my room.
There were seriously no boundaries between my sister and me. She was probably the most sexually open person I knew, and for that person to be your sister, well to say that's a little awkward would be an understatement.
"Going back to the hand I see," I heard Alex call up the stairs as I closed the door.
I groaned and laid across my bed, staring up at the cieling.
My mind wandered back to Electra and what had happened. I remembered the feel of her skin under my hands, the rise and fall of her chest against mine, the way her lips were pressed to mine. I remembered it all as if I could still feel it.
The taste of her lips and her skin as I had tasted her neck.
Her breathless plea.
I felt the slight pain as my claws slid out and I cursed. Even the mere memory of what had happened, the thought of Electra caused a lapse of control.
I clenched my fists tightly, the nails digging into my skin, using the pain to gain control again. This couldn't keep happening, I was afraid that one of these times I may give into Electra's pleas, but I couldn't do that. I didn't want this to be some mistake, something she asks for in the throes of passion. It needed to be thought out, she needed to want it to happen. I couldn't let it be some mistake she makes while in the middle of a makeout session.
I could live with never marking her if it meant I still had her trust and she still gave me that chance to be with her. If I ever slipped up, if I ever lost control and gave in to her momentary laps of control, if I marked her without that being what she truly wanted, that I would never be able to live with. That would be something I wouldn't be able to handle.
I needed to find a way to keep my control. Ever since I had become a werewolf, I had worked on getting and keeping control on my wolf, and now with my new obstacle, my control was slipping. I needed help.
This was something I wasn't necessarily glad about. I had no problems admitting I needed help, control was hard, even more so for turned werewolves. Keeping anger, darkness, and the raw animalistic nature in check was difficult. Now, what I hated was what needed done.
I needed to find an Alpha for help.
I hated that. The Alpha that had turned me had been an asshole. He had taken me from my life against my will to grow his pack and he hadn't been kind after that. He had tried to force me into leaving my family, and while I didn't have much of one, I couldn't leave my sister behind. The only good thing he had ever done in the time I knew him was teach me control, and he hadn't even done that himself, he had commanded his Beta to do it for him.
I knew going up to an Alpha would be tricky, there were many things that could go wrong. Worst case scenario? He would kill me on the spot. I was marked to another pack, turned by a bite. Alpha's were extremely territorial and if he thought I meant him or his people harm, things could get bad quickly.
The only good part to this was I had the opportunity to choose. I wasn't stuck to one Alpha, I could essentially shop around to find one that would be right for me. However, there was always the chance that the Alpha would want my allegience to him and his pack. And honestly, it would only be fair considering what I would be asking of them.
However, how would I explain my situation? Oh I found my mate, she's human, a hunter actually, and I just have a hard time controlling myself around her. Anytime we get close and intimate in any way I just lose control and I'd rather she not kill me because my claws came out."
That probably wouldn't go over well. Werewolves knew what mates were to each other, most had on themselves. Mates with humans even happened occasionally. Hell, mates between two humans happen as well, it's just harder for them to notice each other for what they really are. However, to be mated with a human who spends their time killing people like me and other supernatural creatures, even the most understanding Alpha would most likely have a problem with that.
No, I wouldn't be able to tell them the whole story, and hopefully they wouldn't command me to. They only needed to know the most vital information, the lack of control around my mate who is human. That itself would be enough to get attention I would think. While a human mate would eventually end up learninga bout the world, it wouldn't be in good taste for them to find out with fangs to their neck.
I knew I was going to have to get this under control one way or another, and it would be much easier with help. And convieniently, I knew a bar where werewolves tended to gather. I just had to see if the werewolves there were the ones I needed, or if they could at least lead me to someone I needed.
My breathing went back to normal and the claws had since retracted, going back beneath the surface. I lifted my hands up in front of my face, blocking the light with them. I turned them over, looking at the frong and back like I had done so many times. It was still hard to grasp the concept.
These hands were more than they seemed, I was more than I seemed. I looked like some normal person on the surface, and no one suspected the battle raging within me. No one knew that these claws could snap out at any moment, or that my incisors would snap down. No one knew that I had weapons built into me that could kill a person.
That was what Electra knew however, and somehow she was still giving me a chance. I had to make sure that I did what I could to honor that chance. I needed to do what I could to keep her safe, even from myself, to prove to her that what she had learned from her Organization was wrong and that there was so much more to this world than she had been told.
I heard a light knocking on my door.
"What?"
"Can I come in?" I heard Alex ask.
"Sure."
I heard the door open and my sister crossing the short distance. I felt her body lower down onto the bed, the mattress sinking down slightly with the new weight.
"Are you okay?" She asked.
It was odd, I wasn't used to this softer tone from her. Sometimes she seemed much more persceptive than I gave her credit for.
I just nodded.
"Did you and Electra break up?"
Did we break up? Were we even really together? I wasn't sure. But if we were together, I don't think I would classify what happened as a break up.
"No, we didn't break up. Everything's fine. There's just a lot of stuff on my mind."
"Well you know you can always talk to me," she said placing a hand on my shoulder.
I tilted my head to the side, looking at her.
There were so many times I had wanted to confide in Alex, to tell her what I was, what had happened to me, everything that had gone on. I didn't tell her out of fear that she would be disgusted with what I was, I was pretty sure she would actually be accepting of me. I didn't tell her because I feared what happened with Electra.
No, I didn't think my sister would turn into a cold blooded killer that went around slaughtering men and women because they were something they had no control over. However, this world wasn't exactly the kindest toward humans, they were either pray, or they ended up in the line of fire.
I wasn't enough of an idiot to assume that not telling her meant that she would be kept safe, I knew that wasn't the case, but I just couldn't tell her about this world. With how out there she was, there was even a chance that she would ask to be like me, that somehow she would only see the positives.
This life was not something I would wish on anyone, not even my worst enemy, not that I really had one.
Electra is your enemy. She kills people like you, and she doesn't hesitate.
No, I couldn't do that to her, turn her or subject her to this crazy life. It was better for her to stay right where she was, in the light of the human world, this paranormal world shrouded, covered in the dark shadows that it contained.
"Thanks Alex," I said with a smile.
"No problem. Now let's go get shit-faced. You look like you could really use it, and we can't just let our fakes go to waste. We spent good money on them."
I chuckled. Before we had moved I had asked one of the guys in the pack to get my sister and me some fake ID's and he'd actually come through. They were some of the most legitimate looking fakes I'd ever seen, and no one had noticed them yet.
I sat up looking at her.
"Alright, let's go later. But right now I have a few things I need to do."
"Sounds good. You better not back out on me," she warned giving me her brow raise that let me know she wouldn't hesitate to do a little smack down if I changed my mind.
I gave her a mock salute and watched her leave, flopping back down and covering my eyes. I really needed to get everything sorted out, and fast.
***************
More of an internal chapter here. A little insight into the world of Jared, what he's thinking following the little scene with Electra, and some more about Alex. She's quite the character.
Remember to leave COMMENTS and if you liked the chapter, please drop a VOTE and don't forget to FAN. Thanks all, you're awesome!