^ Here we have our main girl and her wolf
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My eyes slowly flicker open and i am greeted by loud shuffles and bangs coming from down the hall. I let out an irritated groan as i role over and brush my knotted hair out of my eyes. My gaze catches the curtains to see that there is no sunlight shining through yet.
With another groan, i push myself up onto my elbows to reach over for my phone. I squint my eyes as the harsh light illuminated my dark room, and my eyes eventually clear to focus on the time.
4:47?!
My alarm isn't supposed to go off for another 3 hours?! Sleep is the only escape I can get from the torture that is being a WhiteClaw pack prisoner, and lets just say I'm not the happiest when its cut short. Hell, I'm not happy when I have to wake up at all, regardless of how long I've slept.
Setting my phone back down harshly, I reach for the bottle of water beside my bed and take a few large gulps to lessen the dry feeling in the back of my throat. I reached down and picked my duvet back up off the floor before rolling back over and trying to get back to sleep.
For the life of me, I cannot sleep still and always wake up with my duvet on the floor, or at least sideways. I turned my pillow over to get the cool side and then settled back down.
A few seconds later, another loud bang emerges from down the hall as a silent curse follows it. Deciding that I wasn't about to get back to sleep, I push myself back up onto my elbows and reach over to turn on the lamp. Even that took too much effort too early as I flopped back down, my face buried into the pillow.
After some mental self-motivation speeches, I managed to role off to the side of my bed and sit up. I stretched and wiped at my eyes before slumping back down and sweeping my eyes around the room. I threw my duvet over to the other side of the bed as I stood up to stretch my legs, straightened out my shirt, and began to hobble over to my door.
Stood in the doorway, I squint my eyes and look down as I try to get used to the abrasive light in the hallway. My eyes eventually adapt as I am greeted by 2 suitcases stacked at the top of the stairs, and another one sat at the bottom. My gaze flicks to the right as another grunt is heard to see my parents door wide open, the light on.
I let out a large yawn as I spin back around to grab some slippers and begin to head down the hall to see what the noise was about.
Stood in front on their door, I look in to find my dad brutally trying to force another suitcase shut as my mum stands by their open wardrobe, elegantly folding shirts and laying them into ANOTHER suitcase.
"What's going on? And why at 4am?" I manage to force out as another yawn sneaks up on me. As I bring my hand up to rub at my eyes again, I see my mums gaze flick up to me as dad continues leaning on the suitcase in anger.
"Mickey! Morning sweetheart. How are you?" I could see a reflection of the immense sadness from last night return. I guess hoping that she would forget what i said over night was a bit naïve of me.
"Alright, I guess. Wondering why I've been woken up at 4am?" I try to add a hint of amusement to my words to reassure her, but they just come out emotionless and blunt. There never used to be a day in this house where we weren't laughing at one another, but ever since that day 4 years ago, talking has been kept to a minimum.
Mostly from my side.
"Sorry about that Mickey. This damn case has been pissing me off for the past 20 minutes now, but your mother here seems to think that watching me struggle is more entertaining than helping out." By now, dad is leant over the case, his face red as he tries to force the zip around, but every time he shifts position, it pops back open.
"Hey. I did the first two by myself, its only fair that you tackle this one" Mum sends a snide smile at him as she leans back against the wardrobe door, tilting her head to the side as she watches him. Dad responds with a mocking smile of his own before focusing back on the zip.
I desperately wanted to join in and laugh at their teasing, but that feeling was quickly washed away. But hey, that's progress I guess. Its the closest I've come to smiling in 4 years. At least a part of me still wants it.
"So, I ask again, what's going on and why at 4am?" As if just registering that I am still in the doorway, mum flicks her gaze back up to meet mine.
"Oh right. Your father and I were talking last night,"
'I heard'
"and we decided that it was about time that we all went on a little family get-away. There is so much to explore within the pack territory and outside but we've never really been able to go much further than the pack house"
Between protecting me when I was little, to keeping my locked up for the past few years, the pack hasn't ever really been too keen on my family going out. More specifically, me going out.
"We thought that we would head off tonight so we needed to get started on packing as soon as we could, especially since you have school. Your dad has been given a few weeks off work as a thank you for his service, so we're making the most of it"
And that is where I stopped believing her. All the way through explaining she was avoiding eye-contact as she continued folding, even going up to push down on the case to help dad finally zip it up. But 'a thank you for his service'? 'Thank you', my ass! As far as the Alpha's aware he is showing more than a thankyou by allowing me to stay in the pack.
Clearly, she is still shaken up about what I said yesterday and decided that I needed a break.
"So, Get your little, stubborn, butt moving and get packing. We'll be picking you up from school at lunch to do any last bits, and then we're heading out at 3pm" Dad joyfully said as he rolled out the suitcase, giving me a reassuring pat to the shoulder and kiss on the head as he passed.
I spin around and follow him to the top of the stairs as he drops off the bag by the others. I turn off into my room, shut the door, and then lean up against it as I let the reality of the situation set in.
Escape. Get-away. Freedom.
Even if its just for a few weeks, every second is a gift.
Slightly more awake now, I grabbed a shirt, a pair of jeans, and some clean underwear out of my wardrobe before heading back out into the hallway and into the bathroom to start getting ready for the day.
3 weeks away from school. Away from the pack. Away from... being me.
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My leg bounced impatiently up and down below my desk as I stared at the clock, waiting for when I could leave.
All day I hadn't been able to focus as my attention would snap up to the clock every 10 seconds, counting down. By 8:30 I had already written out a countdown at 10 minute intervals, crossing out each time as I hit it.
12:15
5 more minutes until I can leave.
I throw everything into my bag and swing it over my shoulder. Still bouncing me leg, I sit on my chair sideways, slowly leaning foreword as my eyes glue themselves to the clock, ready to dash the second I can.
As usual, at break multiple students 'conveniently' and 'unknowingly' stood outside my door, talking and gossiping about how much of a disappointment to the species I was. But for the first time, I was able to ignore them. I was able to stand by the door and roll my eyes as they tried to create new stories on who I was and the things I've done.
I may have even let Mishka take over for a few seconds, slamming my hand on the door as she let out a threatening growl, just to hear them shriek from outside.
I'm about to be away for 3 weeks, meaning no more mocking. They wanted a story, so why not give them a story to talk about until I return?
I could feel Mishka's excitement surging through me as the clock hit 12:18.
'Oh my Moon Goddess, Mickey. 2 Minutes. 2 minutes and we're out of here. You'll finally be able to walk around freely. We'll finally be able to just explore. Maybe I could even go for a real run rather than pacing the back garden!'
'Down girl. We don't even know where we're going yet'
'Who cares? We're getting away from those self-entitled brats you call students. Maybe we'll go to a new pack and they will offer to take us in'
Despite her excitement, both of us knew that would never happen. Packs respect one another too much for that. They understand that stealing from another pack is an invite to start a war. The only time a pack would take a member from another would be: if there was a mate connection, or to protect them.
As far as other packs are aware, my family belong to and are protected by WhiteClaw.
Slightly deflated from the thought that I will never actually be able to escape, my shoulders sag as I continue to look at the clock. However, my full enthusiasm returned as soon as the minute hand hit the 4 and I was out the door.
Throwing caution to the wind, I sped down the hallways towards the Principals office where I was going to be picked up.
As I skidded to a halt in the general office, the desk lady simply took one glance at me, rolled her eyes in disgust, and then buzzed the door to let me through to the staff corridor. Not letting her looks get to me, I sent a mocking salute and bow her way before heading through the door. I caught her shocked, offended face in the reflection as I stepped through.
Approaching the principals office, I could see the back of dads head as he sat straight and tense. My fist froze over the door, ready to knock, as I caught the end of their conversation.
"... faculty thank you for taking the wolf off our hands for a while. We want you to know that we, as a school, in no way place the blame onto you or your husband for your child's... condition. And we send our regards for news on your... complications Mrs. Maier. Whilst the pack is devastated at the news, I imagine the pain of the diagnosis must be difficult for you both, so for that we send our regards"
I could see mums shoulders drop at being reminded of her infertility, as dad straightens up further, no doubt ready to jump to mums and my defence.
Before he could utter a word that would get him... me in trouble, I knocked and stepped into the office.
Both of my parents heads swirl around to face me, mums filled with sadness and sympathy whilst dads were blazing with anger, quickly simmering to a neutral sadness as he sees me. The principals gaze, as always, was filled with distain and repulsion.
"Well, it seems like your cage has stripped you of the decent curtesy to wait to be invited in." Just as he is about to continue, my father sends another harsh glare his way before standing up, encouraging mum up with him.
"Well, it was interesting as always to speak with you, but if you don't mind we are just going to take Miquaela with us and be on our way". Dad snarls, not even bothering to look back or wait for a response as he ushers us all out.
One thing I've noticed whenever I see dad around other pack members, is that he always makes a point of saying my full name. I think he's trying to remind both me and the rest of the pack that i am still a person with a real identity.
It may not change much, but I do love him for it.
As we walk back through the main office, the desk lady begins to sit up and open her mouth before dad interrupts her, clearly still mad about the prior conversation.
"We will be taking Miquaela Maier with us and she will not be returning for the next 2 months" Not allowing her to respond, he continues to storm out of the building with us both following behind.
"2 months? Clarke I thought we could only afford... I mean, I thought you were only given 3 weeks?" Mums shocked face morphs into worry as she tries to cover up what she said, hoping I didn't catch on. Deciding not to call her out on it, I continue to look at dad waiting for an answer as I see her let out a small sigh of relief besides me.
"I know. But I've decided that we all need a bit of a longer break to really make up for being inside so much" I could see him trying to select his words carefully to provide a different message to both mum and I using the same words.
She obviously picked up on the message. Unfortunately for him, so did I.
The conversation in the office must have been his first time truly seeing how I'm being treated. That was a low level encounter for me, but for him all he saw was his only child being dehumanised and insulted.
I guess that's enough for any parent to whisk them away for a while. I have a feeling that the extension was just as much for him and mum as it was for me. But I'll take it
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The drive back home was long and awkward as one of dads hands gripped the steering wheel tight, no doubt leaving finger print indents into the leather out of anger. His other hand rested on mums knee as she looked down longingly, subconsciously playing with his fingers and stroking his knuckles.
Every now and then he would relax under her touch before glancing over to see her distraught face and retightening his grip on the wheel. he kept giving her knee a supportive squeeze and glaring at the road.
At one point our eyes locked in the rear-view mirror and he sent me what was meant to be a supportive and loving smile, but it came out filled with pity. An emotion I've truly had enough of.
I tried to send him one back, but as always it just came out as a slight hint of a grimace before I switched my attention out of the window. I heard him let out a defeated sigh before we continued driving in silence.
As soon as the house came into view, the suffocating silence was beginning to get too much. The moment the car came to a stop I jumped out, ripping my keys from my pocket and running upstairs to finish packing. I had packed for 3 weeks, but now he says we're going for almost double.
I get that I can always wash my clothes, but I'll need to pack for cold and warm weather now as I don't know what's going to happen next month. I also need to pack more shoes as I know i'll wear at least two pairs out with how much I'll be going outside.
Filling up another suitcase and dragging it to my door, my hand freezes on the handle as I look back into my room. My prison for the past 4 years.
As one final 'fuck you' to the neighbours, I decided to go over to my window and open up the curtains. I left the window locked because I am not about to invite vengeful wolves into my room to destroy it, but I'm not above sending a little message about how little I care.
'Well, that's about it. Anything you want Mishka?' Since I have no doubt that I'm going to be letting her out more, I decided to check on her before I officially left this room.
'Please could you bring that grey blanket from the wardrobe. I remember falling asleep on it after one night-time garden run and it was so comfortable'
'Alright your heinous, ill get you your bed'. I hear Mishka let out a few choice words as I wander over to my wardrobe and pull out her blanket. Although I may have been struggling to joke around with dad like a used to, its always been effortless with Mishka.
Every day, she has been my support blanket as I leaned back on her day and night to help me keep fighting. I guess that's what the problem was last night. That was why I said those things in front of mum.
Its not new. I've had those thoughts for years, but I've always been good at hiding them from my parents. But last night, I didn't have Mishka with me and I just crumbled.
She has helped me so much through this and while I may poke fun at her, I don't know how I would have survived without her with me.
Not that she has much choice to be with me, but she could have always hidden away or called me weak. Instead she fought to keep my spirits high at my lowest times.
Eventually happy that I've got everything, I take one final deep breath before spinning around and taking my suitcases downstairs.
The front door was swinging open as I saw mum kneeling on the right back seat as she folded the middle and left seat down. Dad was stood at the boot of the car with multiple cases surrounding him. waiting to pass them to her to be stacked.
Deciding to let them work, I took one last walk around the house making sure that all of the windows and doors were locked. This was my first time really looking around the house since the incident.
Ever since that day I would only go to school and then come straight back to my room. If I was to be downstairs at all it would only be when I was leaving the house, coming home, or when mum and dad dragged me down to eat.
There had been times where they tried to do family movie nights, but I would always zone out and would never register where I was.
I felt trapped in my own home and the only way I found to give myself some freedom was convince myself I was to stay in my room. That way, being downstairs or in the garden felt like a treat and gave me something to escape to rather than exhausting my options immediately.
If you are locked in a house, you dream to go outside. But, if you're locked in a cage, you only dream to stretch your legs. It sounds stupid but if I kept my expectations low, then smaller gifts would keep me fighting.
Finally, looking around the Livingroom, I noticed a few changes immediately. All wolf decorations were gone.
The white wolf paintings on the walls; gone.
The framed image of the legend; gone.
The pictures of my parents wolves, Astra and Major; gone.
The small, white wolf paperweight that the Alpha gave my parents at their wedding; gone.
They had done so much to protect me. They had removed so many things in their life that made them happy, just to protect me from being reminded everyday. And I repaid them by blocking them out.
Having enough of the room, I wipe a few stray tears out of my eyes before wandering back towards the front door. I see mum crawling out of the car as dad pushes the final case into the car and slams the boot.
I see him take a deep breath in and wipe a bead of sweat off his forehead. He then released with a big sigh, sticking his middle finder up at the car, before dropping his head into his hands in exhaustion.
'Well, he's not gonna like this!' Mishka chuckles before settling back down to watch the show.
"uh... Dad?" I stumble out with a slight hint of amusement in my voice, my face still uninterested. He turns around and smiles at me, beginning to walk around the car towards me as mum climbs into the front seat.
His smile grows as he detects that hint of amusement in my eyes, even if its not showing on my face. I break our eyes contact to quickly glance down at my 2 new suitcases before glancing back up to his eyes. I see his gaze follow mine and land on the two cases in front of me.
Immediately, his smile drops in defeat as he freezes and stares at the bags in front of me. Both of us stand still, my eyes locked on dad as he stares unmoving at my bags.
"Mickey. Honey. Get in the car for me." Deciding not to question him, I move over and jump into my seat, slightly moving some of the bags over to try to reach the buckle. The moment my door is shut, I glance out the window to see dad still staring at my cases.
Suddenly, he lets out a groan and yell, kicking at the floor before storming over to my cases. He flings one over his shoulder while pushing the other wheeled one towards the car with his foot, all whilst mumbling to himself.
Watching his child-like irritation, I let out a small and quiet giggle as I continued to watch him fight to reach the button to open the boot again. Eventually, he hit the button and the boot swung open, hitting my case on the way and knocking it out of his hand and onto his foot.
I swung my head away to hide another slightly louder giggle as he lets out another yell of frustration. Hearing my laughter, mums eyes widened and shot up to meet mine in the mirror. Still slightly laughing, I sent a very small yet genuine smile her way.
In complete shock, she sent a shaky one back to me as I saw her lip tremble with her smile. She took a deep breath as she tore her gaze away and opened her door.
"I'm, uh... I'm going to go help your dad" She stumbles on her words as she quickly gets out of the car and runs around the back just as dad forces the final case into the car.
Trying not to be too obvious, I leant to the side and tried to look through the side mirror and just caught them. I just saw them in time to catch mum stumbling into dad's arms, a few tears tumbling down her cheeks as a larger smile stayed glued to her face.
Dad catches her, stroking the back of her hair, trying to calm her down.
The boot is slammed shut before I can hear anything, but I just see mum bring her head back enough to quickly say something. Dad looks shocked beyond words before glancing at the car blindly.
He eventually lets out a small, breathy laugh before bringing mum back into his chest tightly, laying his head down on top of hers. They stand like that for a few seconds before they let go, dad going to lock the front door and mum getting back into her seat.
Eventually, dad crawls into the driving seat and looks back at me, sending a small almost hesitant smile my way. I once again return it with a shaky one myself before putting my head phones in.
I catch dad's smile morph into one of relief and extreme enthusiasm before he reaches over to grab mums hand, gives a strong kiss to her knuckles, glances at me on last time with a relaxed chuckle and eventually pulls off.
I lay my head back against the headrest as i stare at the passing houses and trees, my music softly playing in my ears as we drive.
Letting it sink in that I'm finally getting out, even if its only temporarily, I release a deep breath. I tilt my head back to the front and close my eyes as my body finally relaxes. I let out one final very small and content, smile before dropping back to normal and resting, ready for a long journey.
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There we are.
Haven't got much to say really except, thank you for giving the book a chance and I'm sorry that its starting off so slow. I just want you to get to understand the character before diving into the story. Also, not everyone's life is full of action so I wanted to make her seem more normal and show the normal family dynamic rather than rushing.
- Elana T Xanders