I burst open through the doors of Nicolas' room, nearly knocking over a table on the way to the bed. He had been sleeping, and immediately woke up when he heard me push a chair against the wall.
"What happened?" He looked worried and scared at the same time.
I couldn't even properly gather my thoughts. I took the clothes I brought from the room and threw them at him. "Change," I ordered. Then, I continued to gather any things that were his left over from the room.
He struggled to get out of the bed, groaning in pain. That finally made me slow down. I took in a breath and walked over to him, helping him out of the bed. He gave me a look of embarrassment.
"What is it?" I asked.
He looked down and blew out a breath. "It hurts too much. I can't change like this. I... I need help."
Shocked, I let go of him and took a step back. He wouldn't look at me and I felt my face get hot. What a great time to feel little flips in my stomach, huh.
I shook any thoughts out of my head and stepped in front of him, grabbing the shirt from the bed. We have more pressing matters at the moment. "Okay. That's okay." I helped him take off the robe which, luckily, he was allowed to wear underwear with. "Can you lift your arms?"
He nodded, but gritted his teeth all while raising them. Instead of the shirt, I grabbed the hoodie and helped him with it. Once that was done, I took the sweatpants and bent down, helping him insert each leg in the pant holes. "Sit," I said. He did as I told him to without uttering a single word. I looked up for a second, but looked down right away. I felt a laugh coming when I saw his face flaming red.
I helped him with his socks and shoes and grabbed all our stuff so that we could leave, but, as if cursed with a bad omen, the freaking doctor came in. "What are you doing?" He stopped two feet apart.
"I told you we were leaving. Are there any papers we need to sign?"
"You're leaving against medical advice, you know that right?"
I sighed, "yes, I do."
He looked to Nicolas. "Are you?"
"Yes," Nicolas exclaimed. "Where are the papers?"
Once the papers were signed, I helped Nicolas out of the hospital and we took a cab back to the room. He didn't bother to mask the staring during the ride. "What?" I finally snapped.
"Quello che è successo? Perché la fretta?"
I laid my head back on the seat and sighed, "Manca Gabriel."
"What? When? How do you know?" The worry in his voice was abundant. The emotion in his words felt harsher in Italian.
"Mateo called me a few hours ago. He told me that Gabriel didn't report back to him. He said he had taken a guard and... and..." Fuck. This can't be happening.
"And who?" Nicolas sounded even more worried.
"And fucking Ash. He took Ash. Mateo told me that Ash went with him because he volunteered, since no one other than us knows about him. Now they're all missing."
Ash was never supposed to involve himself in any of this.
"Ash was working with you guys?"
I shook my head. "No. He wasn't. I made sure he was kept away. He earned his manager position at one of the bars that weren't dealing with any dirty business. He was saving up for his bookstore. I don't know why he went. Fuck!"
I payed the cab driver as we came to a stop and walked out, helping Nicolas out of the cab too. "Well then, what do you want to--"
He stopped talking when my phone rang. I picked it up and couldn't hold back the frustration. "Any news, Mat?"
The other side of the line greeted me only with a heavy breathing. I looked back at the caller ID and realized it wasn't Mateo. It was a private number. "Who is this?"
"내가 누구 랑 얘기하는거야?" I'd never heard that voice in my life, but the language sounded oddly like fucking Korean. (Trans: Who am I talking to?)
It made perfect sense, the South Koreans broke their ties with us without even telling us. They just stopped following our agreement. This could have been some sort of power play. Get-out-of-my-turf type shit. "Where is he?"
"내일까지 한국에 오지 않으면 네 부하들이 죽어." This motherfucker. Did I look like a fucking translator? (Trans: If you don't come to Korea by tomorrow, your men will die.)
"Where is he?" I repeated.
The man huffed and series of noise followed. Nicolas looked at me with worry in his eyes. What happened?
Kore-- "Tas?"
I gripped the phone harder. "Gabriel? Gabriel what the hell happened? What did they do to you?"
I hurried into the room with Nicolas behind me and locked the doors. I placed the phone on speaker on the bed, so we could both listen.
"Listen Tas," he rasped. "I don't have much time. They told me to tell you that if you're not in South Korea in twenty four hours they'll kill us... You can't go--"
"Gabriel?" Nicolas grabbed the phone. I pulled at my hair in desperation. "Gabriel!"
"우리는 당신에게 갈 것입니다. 늦지 마." The line went dead. (Trans: We will go to you. Don't be late.)
"Fuck!" I yelled, kicking one of the drawers I took out and flipped over yesterday. It broke, the contents spilling. "Give me the phone."
Everything is going wrong. Every. Fucking. Thing. Every fucking person is testing me lately and I'm sick of it. I'm tired of the doubt of the mocking of the rebellion. I'm done dealing with all these stupid organizations who think they can take me down.
I haven't killed them all for the sake of following my father's rule. To not rule by fear. But I was sick. I was done. Who do they think they are to stand against us? To kidnap one of our own? To threaten me? To hurt us?
And now Mussolini is back. I have been trying so motherfucking hard to ignore that. To focus on Veronica. But how am I supposed to do that when my worst fear is coming back.
They left me crippled, on the brink of insanity. They left me with nothing. They made me turn on my family on myself on my love. They made me my worst fear. And now they're back. And I can't shake the fear of what I will become. Of what will happen to me. I'm angry. I'm tired. I'm irritated.
I'm done.
I'll show them all what kind of leader I am. I'll show them what happens when you mess with my family. With me. I'll make sure they have no doubt in their mind that following my rule is the only way.
Nicolas looked at me, "what are you going to do?" His tone was wary. Warning.
Another thing I was told at therapy was that I would have to deal with my newly developed anger issues and, boy, do I get angry.
"Give me the phone, Nicolas. Don't make me ask a third time."
He took a step back, "I'll text Mateo for you. I'll tell him to bring over the jet. To fuel everything for a flight straight to Korea."
I studied him while he sent the text out. Watched the way he moved. The way he seemed so at ease yet so tense. "You're coming too."
He looked up. "What? No. I can't--"
"They blew up your apartment, you dumb fuck. You have to go. Veronica is fine."
His eyes widened. "How do you know?"
I felt the menace in my stare. My fists balled and my head began to pound. "We got a picture. She was tied to a pole, beat up but in one piece. Nothing too major. She's fine. She's just bait. They won't kill her unless it's in front of us."
His eyes narrowed, "you don't know that. We can keep searching and--"
"And what!" I finally exploded. I grabbed a lamp from the nightstand and flung it at the wall, feeling my blood boiling in my body. "And what the fuck do you want to do? We've been chasing ghosts this whole time. She's not gonna be here, don't you see it! They nearly fucking killed you! They know we're here. They know everything! I followed your lead for a while because I gave you the chance to see it for yourself. Now it's my time to call the shots, for real this time. And my order is that we're going to fucking Korea and getting Gabriel out of there. You got that?"
He stepped forward. "You are not my boss," his voice came in an angered whisper. It was accusing, venomous and almost scared me. But I was too damn angry to care.
I looked him dead in the eye, "yes, I am. Without me you have no chance at getting to your sister. The only thing you'll get out of going solo is dying. Kiara is after me. After my family. The only one who'll get close to Veronica is me."
"I'm not leaving my sister behind," he promised. His face was mere centimeters from mine and twisted in anger.
"I'm not either," I told him. "But Gabriel is the priority now. Plans have changed."
A flash of anger passed through his eyes. They got darker, narrowed and deadly. Like a predator ready to attack it's prey, ready to tear it apart.
Before I could see it coming, he grabbed me by collar of my shirt and slammed me to the wall. I felt the pain in my back immediately.
"You know," he spoke softly, but each letter in his words was packed with anger and menace. It was fascinating. "You speak of them like little projects. Like Veronica isn't your best friend and Gabriel isn't like a brother to you. You speak of them as if they were nothing but a chore you have to get done. Like they don't mean shit."
"You don't know me, asshole," I whispered. "You don't know who I am or what I feel. Don't think so highly of yourself."
He smiled, a malicious smile that made me uncomfortable. "I know you're scared. Hell, you're terrified. I know your world is falling at your feet and you don't know what to do. And," he got even closer, "I know your only coping skill is to run away. I know you don't call me by my name in fights because you want to disassociate your feelings for me from what you want to feel. Just like I know you forbade anyone from telling you where I was. Why was that?"
My breath hitched. It was clear enough for both of us to catch it. I cursed myself inwardly for giving him even that tiny reaction. If he was able to see through me, I'd be dead.
"Big talk for the one who moved across the world because his girlfriend broke his pathetic little heart. What'd you do?" My heart was pounding hard enough to hurt and fast enough to leave me out of breath. "Have everyone give you little updates on me?"
He laughed. "Pathetic, asshole, dumb fuck. Got anything else, Anastasia?"
"Get off of me," I whispered. It sounded weaker than I wanted to. But I couldn't handle him unraveling the darkest sides of me with such ease. With such indifference.
He came closer, chest pressed against mine. "Or what?"
"I'll kill you."
**
Hiya. How's it, peeps?
Happy Friday! Congratulations to any graduates! You are all so awesome. I'm so so so proud of you, my lovie dovies. I hope your life goes better than Anastasia's. Rock on!