Driving as fast as I could towards my house, Noah's Mustang purred behind me on the gravel road. After midnight, our combined headlights were the only illumination. Ahead, a small porch light lit the way to my house but otherwise, we were cloaked in the usual darkness.
Pulling in, Noah parked his Mustang behind me in the driveway and we both got out. Before pulling ourselves away from each other in the parking lot of the club, things were getting hot and heavy against the side of my truck. Even after I suggested going to my place, we found it hard to let go.
Finally making it to my house, I wondered if things had seemingly cooled off during the drive over. But instantly at my side, Noah pulled me in hard against his chest and returned his lips to mine effortlessly.
Well, that answered my question.
Kissing him back just as ferociously, we struggled up the front porch and to the door. Fumbling with the key in between kisses, I managed to get us inside as I turned on the nearest light switch with my elbow.
Completely consumed and entwined, I failed to see how we would contain ourselves once more. Previously, we had been able to deny ourselves the carnal pleasures we so desperately wanted but, would that be the case again?
I ignored the rest of the lights in the house as we barely made it to the couch before Noah came crashing down on top of me. I stole a breath as Noah pulled back and looked down at me.
Even as we were barely holding on, Noah wanted to make sure I was okay.
"Should I send a formal invitation?" I teased as he bit my lip seductively and I moaned unintentionally into his mouth.
We were one step away from losing all grip and still, we teased the last, minuscule thread keeping us from giving in completely.
"I can't resist anymore." He sighed into me as I felt his hand reach down and start to unbutton my jeans.
Everything suddenly became much more real and I couldn't help but tell myself, with one hundred percent certainty, that despite the chaos that was my life, being there with Noah was right.
"You are mine." Noah said and it caught me off guard as I couldn't help but suck in a deep breath and stare deeply into his eyes.
The independent woman in me wanted to debate that fact but the butterflies in my belly were growing and I found it hard to bite back the desire that I felt for him in every inch of my body.
How could I fight it? He was right, I was his. In every sense, I belonged to him and I was done fighting it.
Looking down at me, his sharp eyes stared at me and his long, dark locks fell forward over his face. Lifting my hand to brush back his hair, I found myself tangling my hand tightly instead. Tugging gently, Noah let out a moan that nearly made me come undone instantly.
I laughed into his lips as we continued kissing as he managed to slip my pants off.
It wasn't long before the clothing between us disappeared piece by piece. When there was nothing left between us but pent up sexual frustration, I found Noah pulling back slightly. It caught me off guard as he leaned back from on top of me and smiled.
"What?" I asked with a smirk on my face.
Ignoring the fact that we were both completely naked on my couch, Noah just stayed there and looked down at me lovingly. Tracing his finger from my lips down between my breasts and to my belly, I found it hard to breath—or contain the heat building from our bodies being flush against each other.
"This is a big deal..." Noah said as he continued to search for any hint of apprehension on my face.
"I know." I laughed at him but he was being serious.
"We still have time, Lena." He said to me with a raised eyebrow.
"The only one stopping this from happening," I said with a sexy smirk as I pulled his hips even closer against mine, "is you!."
He let his head fall slightly as he laughed at my reaction. It did, however, seem to appease his own tension.
"Thank God..." he sighed into me as he let his body weigh down slightly more atop me, "because I think I need to finally mark that beautiful body of yours."
Still so shy at the curves of my body as I laid there naked and vulnerable, I found myself intrigued by his words. I raised my eyebrow at him and he laughed before explaining.
"—not a physical mark," he told me, "but, when I'm done with you, you will feel me on you afterward."
I nearly lost it at the wickedness of his words but it only pushed me further. Noah stirred something in me that I hadn't allowed myself to explore before. It was tempting to let go of whatever reserves I had left.
"I don't doubt that." I sighed breathlessly against him.
Eventually, we made our way to the bedroom.
The rest was a beautiful, intense and utterly magnificent whirlwind that bonded me to Noah in a way I never imagined possible. Hours had passed before we finished worshiping each other. I had never experienced anything like it in my entire life.
Finding just enough strength left for a warm shower, we both stood under the hot water in my bathroom and tenderly washed the sex from our bodies. Back in my bed just before dawn, we both succumbed to the inevitable exhaustion that claimed us. As I let my eyes close, I couldn't help but steal one last glimpse of Noah laying beside me.
I was content.
Neither of us stirred until late afternoon and I was more than fine with that. I didn't have to work until the evening and doing absolutely nothing with Noah sounding like the most glorious Saturday.
"Good morning..." Noah sighed as he leaned up on his elbow and peered over at me laying beside him.
Shy and still dancing on cloud nine after what we experienced together, I pulled the comforter over my face and blushed into it.
"Oh, no you don't." Noah teased as he yanked the blanket from my face and pulled me backwards against him.
Wrapping his arms around me, I found the most comforting feeling just being there with him. I don't ever recall ever being so at peace with another person.
Noah was right when he warned that he was going to mark me. Even though there were no tacky hickies on my body or other physical markings, I felt different. Noah had successfully marked me and no matter what either of us did, that mark wouldn't leave me.
I smiled into my pillow as I reveled in the feeling radiating from my body. Every inch of my skin was continuously on fire.
"You really know how to welcome a guy back, huh?" Noah teased into my hair from behind me.
"You should see what you get if you stay." I teased him and he immediately bit his lip to contain the interest I peaked.
It amazed me how many hours we spent just laying there. Neither of us needed to be anywhere else for once and it was nice. Once hunger took over, we eventually made our way to the kitchen and again, Noah took charge making us breakfast.
I bit my own lip trying to stifle the urges I got when I stared at him. He was so nice to look at that it was hard to pull my gaze away. Again, shirtless and in black joggers as he stood at the stove, if found it hard to deny my deep desire for him.
"What's on the agenda for the day?" He asked as he cooked the eggs. "I'm all yours, if you'll have me."
I smiled as I worked on getting us hot mugs of coffee, "whatever you want."
"Really?" Noah turned around and flexed the sexy dip in his hip as he peered over at me at the coffee maker.
I bit my lip again, unable to control it—or myself, "I work from five to midnight but, that's it."
I could tell that Noah wasn't thrilled at the reminder that I would be at work that night and Dorian would like be there as well.
"You know..." Noah said with a sigh as he put the spatula down and walked over behind me at the counter, "you really should stop biting your lip."
I laughed and flirtatiously leaned back against him, only my short and sheer pajama shorts against him.
"I truly can't help it." I shrugged my shoulders as I poured us two fresh cups of coffee and turned to hand one to Noah.
Our hips against each other then, I really couldn't help biting my lip. He'd warned me but I found a smirk on the corner of his lip as he saw me defy him.
Setting down his steaming cup of coffee on the counter nearby, his arms were suddenly around my waist and his intentions were crystal clear. Peering into my eyes, I was seated on the counter before I could blink.
Caught off guard, I covered my mouth with my hand to stifle a squeal.
"You have no idea," Noah laughed as he pulled my chin up and kissed me passionately, "what you've just signed up for."
"No?" I teased Noah slightly with my upper lip on his.
Shaking his head at me with narrowed eyes, he licked his lips.
"That Dorian bullshit?" Noah elaborated. "I'm shutting that down."
I pulled back slightly to look at him but he was dead serious.
"You agreed that you were mine." Noah shrugged those muscular shoulders of his as he still paraded around shitless. "We sealed the deal."
I laughed at his choice of words but didn't argue with him.
"If he tries anything tonight," Noah said bluntly as he brushed my bottom lip softly with his thumb, "I will have to put him in his place. Owner of the club or not, he doesn't own you. Whatever was between you two, is over. You are mine now."
I was at a loss for words momentarily.
"I'm serious," Noah added for good measure, "I held back my temper but, tonight will be a different story if Dorian doesn't mind himself."
"Noah..." I sighed as I averted my eyes to his chest but he lifted my chin so that we were eye to eye.
"Make no mistake," he told me sternly, "neither of us are the same people we were. If you can keep him in line, then fine but, if that doesn't work, I will step in."
"Should you, I don't know," I shrugged with uncertainty, "stay back then? Maybe, you shouldn't come to the club tonight."
Noah soured at my suggestion but, I only wanted to minimize any potential conflic. I knew that Noah wouldn't tolerate Dorian and his cockiness.
"You head to work and I'll be by later in the night." Noah conceded and that did take a little pressure off of me.
"The eggs..." I laughed when we realized he hadn't turned off the stove and they were smoking in the pan.
Letting me go for a split second, Noah flipped off the switch and moved the pan to an unused burner. Back in front of me, I wrapped my arms and legs around him.
"You know..." Noah said, "there's a good chance I won't let you out of here until you have to go to work."
I raised my eyebrow at him, "I was hoping so."
Finally letting me off the counter, we sat down at the table and enjoyed the breakfast Noah made—even the slightly overdone eggs.
In that moment, sitting in my cramped kitchen with Noah, I wanted for nothing more. It wasn't much to many people's standards but for me, it was simple and satisfying and I could stay there for a long time.
Maybe, that was my problem? I couldn't help but think as we grew quiet while we ate.
Maybe, I was the reason no one stuck around long enough to fully love me. Dorian took off and Noah was in and out of Cedar Falls so much, I didn't know what to expect with him.
The simple things in life were good enough for me but, that wasn't the case for everyone. Some people, like Dorian, wasn't content with settling for simple. They wanted more, needed more. For people like Dorian, the thought of more out there was enough to leave behind what they already had—like me.
I hated that I was thinking about Dorian as I had a beautiful man siting in front of me eating eggs, shirtless in my kitchen. But, it wasn't a romantic way in which I thought about Dorian, it was more like a curious way. If I hadn't been so basic, so boring and easily satisfied with a small life, would he have stuck around?
It boiled down to my own insecurities and the insecurities that were instilled in my with each heart break I endured.
Noah noted the look on my face as I got lost in my own thoughts.
"What's on your mind?" Noah asked as he sipped his coffee—which, I noted that he took black, without cream or sugar.
The answer to that was complicated. While the answer was Dorian, if I said that, all hell would surely break lose. In reality, while I was thinking about Dorian, I was more so contemplating my own diffidence.
"Nothing." I shied away but Noah wasn't buying it.
"I just..." I started as I finished the food on my plate, "I don't want to rush this."
Noah seemed taken aback by my response.
"What do you mean?" He asked as his eyes narrowed on me again.
Getting up and taking the dishes to the sink, Noah returned to the table but pulled his chair closer to me before sitting back down.
I hesitated, "I don't know..."
"Yes, you do." Noah shook his head at me as I saw the panic start to creep onto his face.
"I just think..." I started again, trying to be tactful with my words, "that we shouldn't get ahead of ourselves."
Noah laughed at me and bit his lip as he peered over at me but didn't touch me.
"Ahead of ourselves?" He repeated with an amused look on his face. "I think it's a little late for that, don't you?"
"We had sex, Noah," I sighed, unsure how to put what I was feeling into words, "it's not like we're getting married."
My words seemed to cut him to the quick and he faltered back slightly in his seat.
"We didn't just have sex." Noah said after a momentary pause. "If you expect me to go back to how things were before last night, you're out of luck because I can't."
I struggled desperately for a response.
"I—I'm not saying that..." I stuttered.
"Then what are you saying?" He asked of me.
I sighed with frustration but couldn't go anywhere because Noah was at my side and we were in the tiny kitchen.
"I'm saying..." I rephrased, "that I don't want to rush anything. When people rush stuff like his—that's when it gets messy."
Noah looked at me but, still couldn't figure out what I truly meant.
"I'm not pressuring you into anything." I added. "Whatever happens, happens."
"Really, Lena?" Noah gawked at me and I suddenly felt ridiculous.
"What?" I asked with a sigh.
"I never said that I was being pressured into anything." He clarified. "I am one hundred percent in control of what I'm doing and what I want."
"People can change their minds..." I said but, Noah only held his finger up to my lips.
"—not me." He assured me but, it did little to erase the first hand experience I had.
I smiled at him as best I could but, he could tell that I was still unsure.
"Is this about Dorian?" He asked and I immediately regretted saying anything. I didn't want to further fuel the rage Noah had for him.
I shrugged my shoulders since I couldn't lie to him.
Noah swallowed hard but didn't speak at first. He looked down at my lap and then back to staring me in the eyes, "I want to know."
I pulled back in surprise and looked at him with confusion. Why the hell would he want to know something like that? I thought we had gotten past it but, I couldn't blame him when I was inadvertently bringing Dorian up at breakfast.
"Know what, exactly?" I asked.
Thinking briefly, he spoke slowly, "how did he break your heart?"
That was a loaded question and one that I wasn't thrilled to get into detail about.
"I don't know how to answer that." I said honestly as I finished the last of my coffee with two creams and one sugar.
We both fell silent for a bit as I tried to find a way to dive into the details without drowning in them.
"Biggest part of that was him leaving." I exhaled quickly.
"Before that?" He asked immediately after and I felt like I was being interrogated.
"Uh," I started, "before he left? It was my birthday—he left on my birthday."
Noah absorbed that information.
"Which, is soon?" He asked to my surprise and I nodded.
"May fourth." I confirmed.
Something told me that Noah already knew that specifically but he didn't say.
"Before he bailed," Noah continued his train of questions as I tried my best to answer them quickly and honestly, "what happened between you two?"
I hated having to get into that part because as much as I was over Dorian and had no interest in being with him anymore, it still pained me to relive that part of my life. It was a dark part and for a few months, I lost who I was, even though I hated to admit it.
Against my better judgement, I gave Noah the details. I started with how I wasn't interested in Dorian at first but he grew on me and we eventually started taking things slowly behind Jacob's back. When things got serious, Dorian was the one that made the suggestion to move in together. I wasn't sure he was ready but, I went along with it until he eventually changed his mind and left with no real explanation.
When I finished explaining things as best I could, Noah just sat back in his chair and stared down at the table with his hand on his chin, slowly rubbing at the stubble growing on his chiseled jaw. I held my breath waiting for him to say something—anything—in response.
I began to grow alarmed when he still didn't say anything after a few minutes.
"—you think that I'm going to bail on you because he did." Noah said finally and his words unexpectedly hit me in the gut.
"All that I'm saying," I argued as I tried to hide the quiver in my voice, "is that we should take things slow."
"—in case I decided to leave for good?" Noah scoffed at me
He wasn't wrong but, that wasn't the point I was trying to convey.
"What do you have against taking things slow?" I asked him as I felt myself on the verge of unexpected tears.
"Nothing..." he sighed, "I just don't think you understand how much I am invested in this—in us."
When I didn't say anything, he continued, "as much as you belong to me, I also belong to you. If that didn't mean anything to him, it does to me."
I felt the sincerity in his words and I suddenly felt foolish for ever questioning Noah's loyalty to me. Could it be possible that someone also felt the level of devotion for me that I felt for them.
I nodded and we left it at that.
Loading the dish washer, Noah helped me clean up the kitchen after breakfast and we headed to the couch to watch a movie before I had to head to work.
"He regrets it, you know?" Noah said randomly as he sat beside me on the couch and I flipped through movies on Netflix.
I turned to him, "what?"
Noah shook his head and almost regretted saying anything at all but still, repeated himself. "Dorian, he regrets what he did."
I was unsure exactly what Noah meant so I just looked at him and he took the hint to explain himself.
"You said that he left, right?" Noah asked me and I only nodded.
"I saw the way he looked at you last night." Noah explained. "I felt the way he tried to intimidate me. As he watched you working and then the two of us together, he was one hundred percent regretting his choice to leave."
I didn't know how to process that information. Sure, it was just an observation and a skewed one at that considering it was Noah. I still found myself hung up on it.
"Does that do something for you?" Noah raise this eyebrow at me when I didn't say anything still.
"No, of course not," I told him honestly, " I just didn't get that vibe from him."
"Well, trust me," Noah scoffed, "I did and I am very good at reading people."
I didn't doubt it because there was just something about Noah that set him apart from other guys. I didn't understand it but, I was drawn to him because of it.