Good Dick Will Make A Bitch Go Crazy And Thats A Fact
August Had Me Wrapped Around His Finger
I Can't Lie Im Sprung Over This Nigga
It Was Early In The Morning And August And I Was In The Bed And His Phone Kept Ringing All Morning Long
I Knew It Had To Be A Female Calling Him
"Can You Please Answer That And Tell That Bitch You Busy Right Now" I Said
"Shh.. Im Tryna Get Some Sleep" He Said
I Smacked My Lips And Said "I Am Too But I Can't Cause Bitches Is Blowing Yo Phone Up"
"So... Let Them Hoes Be I Ain't Worry About Them Right Na Im Only Concern Is You" He Said
"Why They Calling You Early In The Morning Anyways" I Asked
"I Don't See Why You Be Getting So Jealous Over Some Hoes…They Ain't Got Shit On Ya..And You See Where Im At Right Na So Stop Trippin" He Said
"And I Don't See Why We Just Can't Be Together" I Said
"We Is Together" He Said
"You Know What I Mean…August…Like We Should Be Together In A Real Relationship..I Wanna Be With You" I Suggested
"I Wanna Be With You Too…But Im Young Im Tryna Live Life And Do My Own Thang…I Won't Be Able To Be Faithful To Ya..And On Top Of Everything I Got Trust Issues" He Said
"A Feel Like If You Give Me A Couple Of Years…I Will Be Ready To Give You All Of Me And Be That Kind Of Nigga Ya Want Me To Be" He Said
"Years..?..Nigga In A Few Years Ima Be Married With Kids..Im Not Gon Wait My Whole Life For You" I Said
"I Ain't Say Ya Whole Life I Said A Few Years And Married To Who Nigga" He Asked
"I Don't Know… Somebody" I Answered
"Ya Right…Nigga You Gon Be Right Here Next To Me In A Few Years Stop Playin" He Said
I Turned Around In The Bed And Stared August In His Eyes
“Don't Be So Sure” I Said
While His Eyes Were Still Closed
“Just Hold Me Down And Stop Worrying About What Ima Doin With Another Bitch Focus On Me And You” He Said As He Opened His Eyes
I Rolled My Eyes
“Ya Know When Im Outta Town, Workin, Doing Shows,Or In The Studio The Only Thang Be On My Mind Is You I Be Like I Gotta Go Be With My Baby You Know Ya My Baby”
I Smiled And Said "Oh My God Stop Tryna Make Me Blush August"
"Real Shit... You The Only Female That I Really Wanna Be With..And Its Crazy Cause I Never Feel This Way About Anybody…And Its The Way You Smile,The Way You Carry Yaself, Your Ambitions,Its Every Thing About Ya That Got Me Feeling Like Im Fallin For Ya... I Am Fallin For You" He Said
He Said It His Self That He Was Fallin For Me And I Was Fallin Even Harder For Him
After Spending The Entire Morning With August I Headed Home To Get Ready For C'amarya Baby Shower
I Came Home Took A Long Hot Steamy Bath
Thanks To August I Had To Wear My Real Hair In A Ponytail
Cause He Fucked My Weave Up
It Was Cool Tho I Was Just As Pretty Without Weave Than I Am With Weave In My Hair
Im Beautiful Naturally Anyways Weave,Make Up,Designer Clothes Just Enhanced My Beauty
But I Don't Need Those Things To Be Beautiful
And Plus My Real Hair Was Long And My Baby Hairs Was On Fleek
I Had On Blue Jeans High Waisted Shorts,A White T Shirt With A Blue Jean Button Up Vest With Some All White High Top Nikes
C'amarya Walked In The Bathroom Wearing A Beautiful Blue And Yellow Dress
She Was Glowing And Huge
"I Miss Wearing Clothes Like That" She Said
"Don't…You Look Beautiful" I Said
"Thank You... You Sure You Wanna Go" She Asked
I Really Didn't But That Only Cause My Mother Kept Guilt Trippin C'amarya To Have Her Baby Shower At Her House
And My Mother Kept Insisting Until C'amarya Broke Down And Finally Said Yes
So Now I Gotta Take My Ass To My Mother House Today And I Was So Irritated About It
"Im Not Gonna Miss Your Baby Shower" I Said
She Smiled And Walked Out The Bathroom And I Followed Her
She Went To My Bedroom And Sat On My Bed
"I Just Don't Want It To Be No Drama Today…But Mama Promised She Will Be Nice To Everyone" She Said As I Pulled Out A Present For The Baby
It Was Wrapped Up With A Bow On Top
"Jordyn I Told You…You Didn't Have To Buy Me A Gift" She Said
"I Didn't Get It For You….I Got It For The Baby" I Said Smiling
She Opened It…
It Was Girl Gucci Boots With The Pink Neon Bottoms
"Thier Beautiful But These Are For Girls What If Im Havin A Boy" She Asked
"Its Not Its A Beautiful Little Girl Your Carrying I Just Know It Is" I Said
I Was Happy That I Was Having A Little Niece And I Wanted C'amarya To Be Happy About Being Pregnant
I Don't Care If Your 16 Or 46 When Your Carrying A Bundle Of Joy Know That Your Carrying A Blessing,I Believe That Babies Are Little Gifts Of God
Me And C'amarya Headed To The Babyshower
And Everybody Was There
The Babyshower Was Held Outside And The Sun Was Shining Bright And It Was Hot Outside
I Was Speakin To My Mother But I Keep It Very Cordial With Her For C'amarya Sakes
And I Was Having An Okay Time As I Watched C'amarya Have A Great Time Eating,Opening Gifts, And Playing Games
While I Just Sat Around And Started Missin My Baby I Would Rather Be With August Right Now
I Was Still Drunk Off August Love So I Headed To The Bathroom And Facetime August
When His Face Appeared On The Phone Screen
I Smiled And Said "I Miss You"
"I Know" He Replied With His Cocky Ass
"Don't Be Irritating ..Nigga You Know You Miss Me Just As Much As I Miss You..What You Doin" I Asked
"Sound Check For Tonight.. And Shitt Is Not Going Right At All" He Said With His Face Frustrated
"Whats Wrong…" I Asked
"The Business Side Ain't Right At All" He Said
"Who Ass Ima Have To Beat" I Asked
"Man Everybody In This Bitch" He Said
"Aw Baby Don't Get Discouraged…Just Calm Down" I Said
"Bae Im Tryin So Hard To Stay Calm But This Shit Is Pissing Mr Off" He Said
"Take A Deep Breath" I Said
He Slowly Inhale And Slowly Exhale
Than He Said "That Shit Is Not Working I Need To Smoke A Blunt"
"Well I Have One Rolled Tonight You Gon Come Thru" I Said
"Kushie" He Asked
"Of Course" I Replied As I Smiled
"I'll Be Ther... Ima Hit You Up Later Bae I Gotta Go Handle This Shit" He Said.
"I'll Be Waiting" I Said As I Smiled
Than He Finally Smiled And Said "Gimmie Kiss"
I Pucker Up My Lips
And Blow Him A Kissed
"Ima See You Later" He Said.
And As I Smiled As The Screen Went Dark
Than My Sister Busted In The Bathroom Cryinn
"Whats Wrong" I Asked
She Quickly Wiped Her Eyes And Said "Nothing"
When Obviously It Was Something Is Wrong With Her
I Took A Closer Look A Her And Said "C'amarya"
Than She Rushed Towards The Toilet And Began Throwing Up
I Held Her Hair Back As She Continued Throwing Up
And Than She Paused And Said "Grandma Always Said Secret Makes You Sick...Than I Must Be Hella Sick Cause I Been Keeping A Big Ass Secret Jordyn" To Me
She Took A Deep Breath And Slowly Said "The Father Of This Baby…Is.. Is....... "
"Go Ahead You Can Tell Me" I Said
She Looked Up At Me Looking So Sad At Me And Said "Is Ray"
And Suddenly My Eyes Grew Bigger And My Mouth Open Wide
I Was In Shock
"He's Been Raping Me Over And Over Over" She Cried
As She Cried I Quickly
And I Immediately Jumped Up And Opened The Bathroom Door
I Was Mad I Wanted Him To Die I And I Wanted To Be The One To Kill Em
Fuck What He Did To Me.…But He What He Did To My Little Baby Sister He Deserved To Die
Ray Was Standing In The Kitchen With My Mother When I Walked In And C'amarya Right Behind Me
"Whats All This About" My Mother Asked
Ray Turned Around And Winked His Eye At Me
I Felt Sick To My Stomach And Flash Backs Of Him Coming Into My Room Every Night
Raping Me Constantly You Know Till This Very Day I Still Have Nightmares Of Him
I Still Wake Up In Cold Sweats
I Lost All Control And Attacked Ray With Everything I Had In Me
To The Point Where I Had This Nigga On The Floor With My Small Hands Around His Neck
And My Mother Was On Top Of Me Fighting Me As Im Choking Ray With All My Strength
"Get Off Him! " My Mother Said
Than C'amarya Pushed My Mother Off Me
The Devil Must Wanted To Kill Because As I Was Choking Him I Noticed A Big Ass Knife Right Next To Me
I Quickly Grabbed It And I Held High In The Air Attempting To Stabbed This Nigga Untill He's Breathless And Bloody
And I Swear I Could've Killed Him Right There And Then With No Regrets Whatsoever
That How Much I Really Hated Him
But My Sister Stopped Me And Said "Don't! Please Don't!….Let God Handle It He Does It Better"
Reminding Me That Im Better Than This And I Wasn't Born A Killer I Was Born A Child Of God
And Ray Wasn't Worth It He Was A Piece Of Shit And Gon Get His Sooner Or Later
Cause Karma She A Big Ass Bitch
For What Ray Did To Me And C'amarya He Would Rot In Hell Forever
So I Dropped The Knife
But I Did Spit In His Face
C'amarya Help Me Off The Floor
And My Mother Was Just Staring At Me With These Devilish Eyes
I Just Shook My Head At Her I Ain't Have Nothing To Say To Her
I Felt Like My Mama Could've Protected C'amarya She Could've Protected Me
She Should've Of Protected Us Like A Mother Is Supposed To
But Thats Thing She Wasn't A Mother She's Just A Bitch That Carried Me For 9Months
And From Now On Out She's Dead To Me
On Me And C'amarya Way Back To My Crib
C'amarya Wasn't Having Cramps In Her Stomach
So I Took Her Through Emergency
An Doctor Looked At Her And Took So Blood And Put The Baby On All Types Of Monitor
We Were In A Little Room With The Baby's Heart Beat Playin In The Background
Waiting For The Result
C'amarya Was Laying On A Hospital Bed
And I Was Sitting Right Next To Her In A Chair
When She Said "I Feel Better Now…Its Like A Weight Is Lifted Off My Shoulders"
"You Sure Don't Want To Have Him Arrested" I Asked
"Im Already Embarrassed Enough I Don't Wanna Be Up In No More Stress…I Just Wanna Be A Peace…You Don't Know Whats It Like To Lay There While Someone Is Taking Your Innocent" She Said
"I Know Exactly What Thats Like... Why You Think I Ran Away C'amarya" I Asked
She Turned And Looked At Me With This Confused Face And Said "…He Did It To You Too"
She Asked
"Yes" I Said To Her
She Shook Her Head And Said "I Didn't Know..I Never Knew So Thats Why You Runaway" She Said With This Disgusting Face On Her Face
"Were Really Screwed Up Jordyn" She Said While Tears Slowly Racing Down Her Face
"Yea..Yea We Really Are" I Said Truthfully
Than The Nurse Came Back In And Said "Okay Everything Is Fine And Your Baby Girl Is Fine"
"BabyGirl?" C'amarya Repeated
"Yes And Shes Just Fine You…Your Already To Leave Now" The Nurse Said
The Nurse Smiled And Walked Out Of The Room
And C'amarya Said "That's The Best News I've Heard All Day You Was Right..Its A Girl"
After Finding Out That C'amarya Was Raped And Was Carrying Ray's Baby
I Wasn't So Thrill With The Fact Of C'amarya Having This Baby
I Now Understand Why C'amarya Wanted To Have An Abortion
Every Time She Look At Her Baby She Will Always Be Reminded Of The Man Who Raped Her
But Than She Said Something So Smart And Brave
She Said "Don't Get Me Wrong..I Love This Baby…Its Impossible Not To Love Her.....But Im 16 And Im Broken And I Don't Wanna Mess This Baby Up Like My Mama Did Us..I Want Better For My Child" She Said Cryin
"Now That I Know That Its A Girl And I've Heard Her Heart Beat…I Can't Kill Her…So Im Gon Go Out And Find Her A Real Good Family..…Im Going To Put Her For Adoption…Its Whats Best For Her" She Said
She Didn't Wanna Give Her Child Up For Adoption But To C'amarya It Was About Her Baby And What Is Best For Her Child
And Just Like A Good Mother Is Supposed To Do She Put Her Selfish Needs To The Side…And Put Her Baby Needs First
And Her Baby Need Needed A Good Stable Home And A Happy Healthy Family To Take Care Of Her
And C'amarya Couldn't Provide That Right Now For Her Baby So She Decided To Give Her Baby Girl To Someone Who Could