Year: 2016
"Slow down!" Dad yells at me.
"What do you mean slow down? I'm doing the speed limit." I respond.
"I don't care. You're going too fast and I'm too young to die."
"You're 97. You are definitely old enough to die."
I see Dad roll his eyes out of the corner of my eye. "Why do you want to learn how to drive anyway? You have super speed."
"Because maybe I want to take a car and drive it off a fucking cliff someday," I respond bluntly.
Dad turns to look at me and I can only imagine his glare.
"Every kid should at least learn how to drive. Plus I love scaring you." I smile mischievously.
"You're too close to that car!"
"First off I'm not that close and second, you yelling does not help the new driver. It just makes them very nervous."
"It helps me!"
"It's called distracted driving!"
I continue driving with Dad yelling at me over little things like getting too close to a car when I definitely wasn't or for me to use my brakes when I'm already using them or telling me I'm going too fast when I'm already doing 10 miles under the speed limit.
I see a road work sign in front of us.
"Road work ahead?" I say more like a question and smile at Dad.
"It means that people are working on that road." Dad answers.
I pull the car over and put the bitch in park. I turn to Dad. "You never saw that vine?!" I ask him, completely offended.
"What's vine?" Dad asks confusedly.
I gasp. "You uncultured swine." Dad only furrows his brows. "We're watching vine when we get back," I say and start the car once again and pull off.
A car cuts in front of me without signaling and I almost hit them. I slam on my brakes and honk while Dad holds on for dear life.
"Get the fuck out!" He yells at me.
"It wasn't even my fault!" I yell back.
He sighs. "I know sweetie and I'm sorry for yelling, but some people don't know how to drive."
"Tell me about it."
I park the car and we switch places. We make it back to the compound in one piece and walk into the living room where everyone, but Natasha, is chilling on the couch.
"How did it go?" Roy asks as he sees us walk in.
Dad plops on the couch in between Sam and Vision and sighs. "Never again." He says.
"Now you're just being dramatic," I say as everyone else laughs. "I knew I should've gone with Sam, but you insisted you wanted to do it."
"And now I regret it." He says, causing me to roll my eyes.
I sit down next to Roy as Natasha comes into the living room.
"What's up fuckers!" She yells as she enters the living room.
Everyone but Dad, Vision, and Wanda laugh. The three of them look at all of us confused.
"You guys never saw that vine?" Sam asks.
"What's vine?" Wanda asks.
"As in the plant?" Vision asks.
Dad points at the two of them and looks at me. "See! I'm not the only one that doesn't know what that is!"
Natasha looks at me. "Of all things, you never showed him vine?" She looks at me with disappointment.
I hop up from my spot. "Alright, you poor unfortunate souls—"
"Little Mermaid!" Dad says, smiling at himself for getting that reference.
I pat his head. "You're like an adorable little puppy." I look at all of them. "It's time to school these uncultured swines."
I put Youtube on the TV and get a bunch of vine compilations.
'Son how old are you? I'm 21, Dad. When I was your age I was 22.'
'I'm friends with a monster that's under my bed'
'What's up fuckers! Why are you on my phone? Fuck you that's why!'
'Road work ahead? Uh yeah, I sure hope it does.'
'Fuck this shit I'm out'
'Fuck your chicken strips!'
'Jared can you read number 23 for the class? No I cannot. Whaddup I'm Jared, I'm 19 and I never fucking learned how to read.'
'Two bros chilling in the hot tub, five feet apart 'cause they're not gay'
'Staaawwwp. I could've dropped my croissant'
'Don't fuck with me. I have the power of God and anime on my side AHHHH!'
'Kevin watch the light dude. *smashes light with pillow*'
'I'm over this dumbass school with all these fake ass people. Hey. Hey. Fucking bitch.'
'I got it yes bitches! Chocolate vanilla swirl with cookie crunch!'
'You ready to fucking die! I'm a bad bitch you can't kill me! Bitch!'
'Give me your fucking money!'
'I'm a bird mothafucker! I'm a bird!'
'Remmy sit! Speak! Fuck! Good boy!'
'The fuck? The fuck? The fuck is in the air? The fuck? There's white shit everywhere. The fuck?'
'And they were roommates! Oh my god they were roommates!'
'Stop saying I look like Chicken Little. He's dumb and he's a coward and I am not a coward!'
'Happy Kevin sucks Thursday! What's Kevin sucks Thursday? Why would we ever tell you Kevin?'
'I love you bitch! I ain't never gonna stop loving you, bitch!'
'*Bang* This is why mom doesn't fucking love you!'
'Ah fuck! I can't believe you've done this!'
'Look at all those chickens!'
'Has anybody ever told you, you look like Beyonce? Nah they usually tell me I look like Shelica. Who the fuck is that? Me n*gga'
'Mother trucker dude. That hurt like a butt cheek on a stick.'
'What you say? I said whoever threw that paper, your mom's a hoe!'
'Hey, Terry, you want some? This bitch empty! Yeet!'
'What are those?! They are my crocs!'
'Hi welcome to Chilis'
'What the fuck is up Kyle! No what did you say! What the fuck dude! Step the fuck up Kyle!'
'It's Wednesday my dudes. AHHHH!'
'There's only one thing worse than a rapist. Boom! A child!'
'Oh my god I love Chipotle! Chipotle's my life!'
'On my way to fuck your bitch!'
'You got this Travis. Make 'em wait for it... boom!'
'Mom I'm sick I can't go to school. Why? What's wrong? I'm sick. Sick of all these ratchet ass hoes!'
'PATRICIA! Honey, can you be quiet I'm just trying to do something.'
'Storytime! In every group of friends, there's the dumb one. Really?'
Hours of vines later...
"This explains why I didn't understand half of your jokes," Dad says after we're done.
I look at my phone to see the time.
"Shoot, it's already 12," I say.
Everyone gets up to go to their rooms for the night, except for me. I stay behind and set up my laptops on the coffee table. Dad notices and stays behind too.
"You know it's a school night," Dad says.
"I know, but I'm so close to finding Rumlow. Bucky on the other hand is still a little harder to find, but I'm close. I'll get some sleep, don't worry about me." I say to him.
He hesitates before turning around to head to his room. "Don't stay up too late!" He calls back.
"I won't!"
Brock Rumlow you are being a pain in the ass to find. He now goes by Crossbones. Have no idea who gave him that dumb ass idea, but you do you Rumlow. He hates Sam, Natasha, Dad and I but hey the feeling is mutual. Rumlow wants vengeance on the four of us so much that he commits acts of terrorism to spite us. I try to analyze his patterns so I can be one step ahead of him and I can feel that I'm so close. I just need to think like a two-faced asshole, maybe then I could get into his mindset.
I drift off to sleep while thinking about the similarities of the attacks. When I wake up and look at the clock, it's three in the morning. I know it's a school night, but I'm used to running on about three hours of sleep. I could get Sam to do this, but he wants his beauty sleep and I'm close to a breakthrough.
I watch security feeds of his attacks and try to think about the similarities of the attacks until it finally clicks. I jump up excitedly.
"I'm coming for you, you son of a language!" I say as I take off to the kitchen as fast as I can.
I grab two pans and then run to the hall where all our rooms are. I bang on the pans very loudly.
"Wake up motherfuckers!" I yell as I continue banging the pans.
One by one everyone opens their doors until all groggy eyes are on me.
"You need to stop doing that," Dad says sleepily.
"Would you rather me shoot a gun?" I sass back.
"It's three in the morning," Roy whines and rubs his sleepy eyes.
"I found him!" I jump up excitedly, ignoring everyone's complaining.
"Who?" Rhodey asks more like he doesn't care.
Dad looks alive now. "Rumlow." He answers and I nod to confirm it.
"Where?" Sam asks.
"Lagos, Nigeria," I answer. "I think that's going to be where his next attack is."
"You think?" Natasha asks.
"We're going to Africa?" Roy asks.
Everyone looks at Dad to see what he has to say since he is the captain.
"It's the best lead we had in six months," Dad answers with a shrug.
My stomach growls and I look at Dad. "Dad can you make me a sandwich?"
He looks at me with a stern face. "Go back to sleep and starve."
We all burst into giggles. He got me right there, but he used a vine reference so I can't even be mad. Once we all stop laughing I take it as a chance to speak up again.
"So what do we do now?" I ask.
"Sleep." They all respond.
Okay so this was the last chapter before Civil War!
—ASE715