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W: I got arrested because I was too cool
D: The charges were dropped because there was no supporting evidence
====
D: Peace was never an option
W: What are you, a goose?
====
D: Potato chips are like murder
D: You can't stop with just one
====
W: But I don't wanna die!
D: It'll be fun!
D: We can come back and we can haunt these guys
====
R: Flowers or balloons?
W: Both
R: We're paying for this
W: Neither
====
D: Did you notice how Katy Perry never actually mentions a guy/man in her song 'The One That Got Away'
D: Like for all we know she could be talking about a chicken nugget that she dropped
W: Why would she get a matching tattoo with a chicken nugget
D: We're talking about a woman who feels like a plastic bag for fucks sake
====
D: Would you punch a kid for $500,000
W: Shit I'll do it for $10
R: I'll give you $10 to let me punch a kid
D: "You guys shouldn't be punching kids" - Jason
D: Looks like we found the kid who you'll be punching
====
D: I don't play hard to get
D: I play hard to get rid of
====
W: Bring them flowers
W: Hold the door open for them
W: Rip the door off its hinges
W: Use the door as a battering ram
W: Fight off the other suitors
W: Establish dominance.
====
R: I'm a lover not a fighter
D: Roy
D: You have been in 68 bar fights this year. It is April.
====
D: So I was watching the news earlier and a reporter from Metropolis was asking people in gotham their opinion on our relationship and there was someone who said this
D: "Wally is a gentle wolf that curls up on your rug and Dick is a feral cat that someone saw choke down a rat behind a dumpster
====
D: Name a more iconic duo than my fear of abandonment and instinct to self-isolate
W: You and me
D: Alright
====
W: Conversations between dick and villains are the best
W: V: I could KILL you if I wanted to!
W: D: so could another human!
W: D: so could a cuckolded spouse
W: D: so could a dedicated duck
W: D: you aren't special
====
W: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
D: Sure
W: Thou art hot as fuck
====
D: Ugh my back is so sore
W: Baby I'm so sorry
W: Did you sleep on it poorly?
W: I can grab you some ibuprofen
D: No it's from carrying your ass through 4 dungeons last night
W: OH
W: O
W: K
W: I SEE
====
W: Bruh these kids were running a lemonade stand and I walked up to them and said "got any grapes" and this kid deadass looks me in the eyes and says "ah we prepared for people like you" and pulled out a bowl of cold grapes
====
R: Lowering the price of flights to almost nothing and warning millennials traveling might kill us is just asking for trouble
R: $200 international flight AND I could die?
R: Sign me up
====
D: What is that obnoxious glowing orb in the sky?
W: That would be the sun
D: I'm gonna fight it
====
W: Dick, when do you usually sleep?
D: When I collapse is entirely up to the gods
====
W: I'm so useless
D: No you're not
D: You can be used as a bad example
====
W: Uncle Barry told me Santa wasn't real
W: Well, guess who's lap I'm sitting on right now
W: Take that Barry
====
D: I wish puberty would take you to a customize your character screen
W: Do you realize how many people would be dragons?
D: You say that like it's a bad thing
====
R: What time does the judgemental express get here?
W: Dick said that he'd be here around 11
====
W: Treat spiders the way you want to be treated
D: Killed without hesitation
====
D: Why is it whenever I have fun, it's considered "wrong"?
W: Because when you have fun, people die
====
W: My kink is when people care and actually ask about my feelings, or just show any kind of love towards me
D: Too unrealistic, just stick to bondage like the rest of us
====
D: I never brag
W: You once called your face 'proof of God's existence'
====
R: If dick took a shot for every bad thing he’s done, how drunk would he be?
W: Maybe a bit tipsy?
W: Drunk
W: Wasted
D: Dead
====
W: God, how does Barry always know where I am?
D: Did you set your twitter to private?
W: ...
D: Did you set it to private Wally?
W: ...
D: Wally
====
D: Where's my fucking knife?
W: LANGUAGE
D: Sorry
D: May I inquire the whereabouts of my fucking knife
W: …
====
W: Are you going to help, or are you too pretty?
D: I'm too pretty
====
W: I mean small creatures are way more viscous
W: It's because their anger has less space to be bottled up in
R: Ridicules, give me one example of this
W: Spiders
W: Wasps
W: Dick
D: …
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D: Good job gays!
R: Did you mean guys?
D: Did I stutter?
====
D: Do you ever realise Z is just a sideways N
W: Dick stop it's too late for this
D: Zo
====
W: Did you just refer to a knife as a "people opener"?
D: Should I have not?
====
D: Sticks and stones may break my bones
D: But dear god, would a crowbar be so much quicker
====
D: Omg
D: Got ham
D: Gotham
D: Holy fuck
D: I live in a city called "got ham"
W: Go to bed
====
D: When I was a kid and still living in the circus, someone called my aunt the antichrist
D: So in response, she rolled her eyes up into her head and spoke backwards
D: Tati was horrified and mami nearly pissed herself laughing
W: Fucking christ
====