BLUE
"Yeah? Well... If it wasn't for you I would already be at the hospital, by my mom's side... where I belong, Seb!" I scream at him and hit his chest with my two hands.
Do I ever do anything that isn't yelling every time I am with him? I don't think so... But I wouldn't want it any other way.
"You were the one that called me!" He yells back at me. Again... usual.
"Details, Sebastian! That's just details!"
"It's not..." He says suddently softening his voice and geting closer to me, his hand on my cheek. "But we both know you only say that because you can't admit you always want to feel my-"
"Dare to finish that sentence and you won't have it for me to feel next time!" I say and take his hand harshly from my cheek.
"Oh, ok, Bluey... no need to be all agressive now, baby." He says giving me that dumb smile he always has painted on his face whenever I threaten him...
Which, again, happens quite often...
I've known Seb my entire life... He has been my neighbour, best friend... basically only friend... and ocasionally... let's call it, hm... friends with bennefits.
We have been close for over 15 years... and this bennefit situation has been going for 2? I think... My situation is... I know I'll never find anyone to date, or marry or have kids and have a beautiful happily ever after... that's just not for me... I also don't think I'd ever find anyone to care about like that.
Between me and Seb... we're like siblings... whoa, no... not siblings... not siblings at all... Jesus Christ... but like... really really close friends who've known each other for years and years... the sex is just... an extra, I guess?
We have our little agreement going until he finds someone... then we'll stop. He isn't like me... He is all lovey dovey... I'm not at all.
However, I may be heartless for the most part... but my body... it still has some needs... and sex is a great outlet to let all my stress out.
Well... for stress I have sex, boxing and cussing people off... mainly Sebastian... Zac too sometimes... But Seb is my main target usually.
He is so annoying. I want to cut his dick off and feed it to the fish half of the time... But I love him with all my heart and would literally kill anyone that dares to touch him. Kill.
"Shut up, alright?" I say with my hand around his neck applying just enough pressure to scare him off. As a joke, of course... yeah, a joke. "Meet me at the hospital, will you?"
"Won't you give me a ride, hun?" He asks me. "Baby Blue... please?" And back to the stupid smile we are.
I put on my helmet and climb on my motorcycle saying "No." and driving away.
I think I hear him yell-laugh something along the lines of "That fucking attitude of yours will get you killed!" but I am already too far away to listen properly.
He is wrong. My "fucking attitude" is the very thing that made me survive so much shit in life.
In less than 10 minutes we're already rushing inside the hospital.
"Dr. James! Dr. James! Where's my Mom? Where is she?"
"Blue, calm down!" Seb tries to calm me down putting his hand on my shoulder.
"I can't stay calm, Seb! It's my mother!" I jerk away from him turning to Dr. James again. "Where is she? How is she?"
"She is stable now, Blue. She is in a room already medicated... She'll probably be able to go home by the morning."
Oh, thank God.
"But you know what the situation is... this crisis... it's normal every once in a while while she is doing this treatmant... They'll only go away when and if the tumor gets smaller so she can have surgery... but again... as you know... your mother's tumor is in a very specific part of the brain and not a lot of doctors can do it... and it will be very expensive."
I know all of this shit already. I've known it for a long time now.
When my mom got diagnosed with a brain tumor over a year ago... my already fucked up world completely fell apart.
The fear of losing her haunts me every second of every day.
I can't lose my mom. I just can't. There is no one else on Earth I love more. There is not one thing in the planet I wouldn't do to help her.
It's so frustrating because she is the least deserving person too. She has already been through so much.
She had me when she was 16. Her parents kicked her out and my piece of shit of a sperm doner left her once he found out she was pregnant.
She was that young and all alone and still was the best mom ever to me my whole life.
All I wanted was for her to finally be able to enjoy life a little bit now... She is still so young... And right when she was starting to realize that I'm grown up now and that I can take care of my own self because I'm grown... she gets diagnosed with this.
And her life just stops. And consequently mine too.
Whatever happens, I'll never leave her alone. Never.
For her, I turn the world upside down.
"I know all of that doctor, but my mom will be alright. She is a fighter!" I say absolutely meaning it. She is just the biggest fighter I know.
"Blue, we've talked about this... it really is a lot of money." He says with that doctor voice... you know what I'm talking about... the one they have when they tell you someone died.
"I'll get the money... my mom will not die! She won't. I will get the money and she is going to get surgery and everything will be alright." I say smiling.
There is no other option. I don't care what I have to do but I'll find the money. I already work 2 jobs and sell some homemade products on the side... but if I have to work 3 or 4 or as many as one possibly can, I will.
I won't stop until my mom is healthy again.
"I really hope that is true, Blue."
"Can we see her now?"
"Sure. Sure. She is in the first room to your right. Now if you'll excuse me..." He says and leaves.
The second we enter the room I see my mom laying in bed, looking beautiful like she always does, even in this situation.
"Hi mom." I say as I hug her.
"Hi Livy, how are you?" Seb says as he comes to hug her from the other side.
Seb treats my mom like a mom too. Her name is Olivia but he has been calling her Livy for the longest time. I also treat his mom like family. It's what you get for being neighbors for so many years.
"I'm good, guys, don't worry." She says smiling. I swear that smile can brighten up the darkest of rooms.
"Mom, you don't have to act like nothing happened, ok? Just tell us what you need... we'll do it... Bring you anything." I tell her while I run my fingers through her hair.
"I wouldn't mind eating something, actually."
"Sure, I'll get it for you, what do you need?" Seb immediately offers.
"Anything is fine, son."
"Ok, I'll be right back." He kisses her forehead and leaves.
Their relationship is really precious... my mom wants us to date so badly... but I've told her multiple times I don't have the time to date around and even if I did... it wouldn't be with Sebastian at all.
I'm not entirely sure if she knows about the part where we are hm... just a tiny bit more than friends... but I'm pretty sure she does... she never directly referenced it but she makes sure to alude to it every now and then.
"Mom, you can tell me now... how are you really feeling?"
"I'm good, I told you... I am."
I know she isn't. I see the look on her face. "Mom."
"It's just... I'm just a bit tired Bluey... I'm so tired of this happening every now and again... I'm tired of being a burden in your life-"
"No! Mom! Don't ever say that again, ok? Are you listening to me? You are not a burden in my life and you will never be, alright?"
"I just... if there's nothing we can do... I'd just rather this ending once and for all!" She says and a tear falls down her eye. I can't stand to see her crying.
"No! Stop! Mom! Stop saying things like that! Please! We will do something! We will save you! And you will be happy and healthy and this will all be over, I promise, ok? What do we always say? Together..."
"...we can do anything." She smilingly says.
"Exactly! It may only be the two of us, but we're the strongest ones, you know?" I hug her again.
"Have I ever told you how proud you make me, Blue?" She asks me.
You have, mom. And all I am is because you thought me. I owe you the world and I plan on giving it back to you.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" More than anything in the world, mom. "The doctor said you could go home tomorrow morning so I'm staying here tonight... with you."
"No, you're not Blue... you're not going to stop what you have to do because of me, ok? You are not going to miss work because of me, Blue. I'm good here..l'm safe... if I need anything, it's here."
"No, mom, I'm not leaving you alone all night."
"Blue, who is the mom here?" She says laughing lightly. "I don't want you to be here all night, alright?"
"Fine mom, but I'll be back before you wake up."
The only reason I'm gonna accept that is because every last bit of money can be helpful... otherwise I wouldn't be working every weekend at that club.
It's fucking dreadful and a pain in the ass because of all the disgusting men that are there all of the time.
Seb and Zac are there every Friday and Saturday even though I've told them I'm perfectly capable of defending myself and I don't need two bodyguards following me around... but I guess the "we're here for you" story is more of a coverup for the fact that they genuinely just want to go to the club, but whatever, each to their own.
In all fairness, they do make it less difficult.
I mean... Zac, Seb's older brother, acts like he hates me half of the time... but I do too, so I guess it's healthy.
"Look what I have here... I brought a lot of food for you to choose from!" Sebastian says as he enters the room carrying two bags full of food.
This idiot is so overly extra.
But he is pretty extraordinary too, so I'll let him be.
(...)
It seemed like it'd never come, but it's finally 5 a.m and I can finally leave.
I am starving. Being a bartender is pretty tiring, thank God I only do it for 2 days of the week.
I'm supposed to meet Seb and Zac outside the club so we can eat something at the food trucks that are always outside.
My God, this place is extra crowded tonight... and people won't seem to walk, I don't get it...
It's not that hard to move your legs... one at a time... why haven't we moved for 10 minutes?
I just want a hot dog.
"Boo." I hear someone say and touch my shoulder and my hear nearly stops. What the fuck?
When I turn around it's Seb and Zac... Zac being the one that spoke. "Have you lost your mind, imbecile? Do you think it's cool to scare the fuck out of me like that?" I scream even louder than I would normally since on top of being annoyed, we're also in the middle of a thousand people and it's pretty hard to listen to what anyone says as it is.
"What? It's not my fault you get scared so easily." He says smirking.
This asshole.
"Who gets scared easily? Zac, I swear to God, you really don't want to push me tonight-" My annoyance speaks for me and before I know my hand is starting to fly to grab him by his shirt but Seb comes in between us.
"Whoa, stop! Fucking children!"
I let out a deep breath but decide to let it go and he puts his arm around my shoulders.
"I'll tell you who the child is! Just try to get in my nerve tonight!" I threaten but also put my arm around him.
"Tonight or any night... Or day..." he mutters with a smile but I hear him very well.
What? I'm a joy to be around...
Granted, I have some temperament issues but still... I'm a dream.
My mom told me she named me blue because the ocean is blue... and the ocean was the only thing that made her feel better when she felt alone or sad or anything bad in general. And she wanted me to have that same effect on people... to make their days better, calmer, happier... blue is supposed to be a relaxing color... and that's science.
I don't think I'm relaxing at all but I appreciate her effort to make my name have any sort of impact on who I am...
The meaning of the names is like astrology... sure, I'm a Scorpio... what the fuck does that mean?
I have to agree with my mom on what she says about the relaxing power of the ocean... it is indeed the most relaxing thing... whenever I feel like my head is about to explode I always have to go and see the ocean... that's probably because I've lived right by the beach my whole life... but the ocean really does mean everything to me.
People finally start walking after what feels like 3 hours and we finally make it outside.
"I'll just have my regular, Joe." I tell the guy from the food truck who I know well at this point.
"Coming right away, Blue." He tells me as me and my two favorite siblings (ha) lean against the truck and wait for our food.
I start searching my pockets for my phone but can't seem to find it. For a second I panic thinking I lost it, but then I remember I put it on my locker right before my shift and didn't get it after.
Way to go, Blue, you dumbass.
"Guys, I forgot my phone inside, I have to go get it." I tell them.
"Do you want me to come with you?" Seb offers.
"No, no, it's fine... I'll be right back." I say and as I was going to start walking towards the door again, mentally scolding myself for being so stupid for forgetting my phone, I stop.
There is a group of people coming out of the club all giggly and happy, one of which someone that catches my eye and probably everyone else's eye... a tall, curly haired guy with green eyes? It seems? Pink wide-legged corduroy pants and a completely open white shirt, leaving none of his tattoos for the imagination to predict considering they are all in full display.
He is laughing and his dimples are so deep I can see them from here.
He has a girl on each of his arms and a bunch of friends around him looking at him like he is the hottest shit since sliced bread.
His ego is probably ginormous, my God... and he is probably just your go to rich man child with no personality and a bunch of people following him everywhere... my least favorite type of person precisely.
What? Why did I just spend more than one minute looking at him and thinking about him?
Blue, we are better than this, c'mon... phone.
I pass them and go inside to look for my phone and thankfully, it is sitting safe and sound inside my locker... the last thing I needed was to buy a new phone.
I have to find a way to make more money... I really do. I have to think of something fast... two jobs aren't doing enough for us.
Damn it.
Maybe I could try and see if I win the lottery?
What? No? What am I saying?
The hot dog... it's waiting for me outside... I have to eat because my brain isn't functioning properly anymore.
I am walking outside when suddenly someone hits me and we both fall to the ground.
You have to be fucking kidding me.
Hot dog. That's all I want.
But I can't because of a clumsy random asshole. That won't seem to move. Hello?
How does he manage make me fall and then fall too on top of me.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... I didn't see you, sorry."
Oh my God. It's the rich asshole from 5 minutes ago. You really have to be kidding me.
Oh wow, yes his eyes are green. Very green.
You know how I know it? Because his face if fucking 3 inches away from mine.
"Sure... Are you going to move or are you just going to apologize all night?"
"Ah? Hm? Oh, yeah... sure." He says laughing.
Oh, so I see we're back to giggly. He is drunk. Rich, annoying and drunk. He keeps getting better, doesn't he?
He finally stands up and offers me his hand to help me stand up but I don't take it... from which I receive a little smirk from him.
Ok, cool. Hot dog.
I start walking towards Seb and Zac when I hear someone shout "Hey! Hey, wait!"
Leave me alone, prick.
Something in me somehow makes me turn around and when I do, dimple boy is already way too close to me. He is way taller than I am so I have to look up to look at him. And I don't like looking up at people. Especially not this type of people.
I also don't like how close he is to me. Wasn't it enough to be literally on top of me like 30 seconds ago? Does he not know what personal space is?
"I'm sorry I made you fall... I really didn't mean to." He says looking me straight in the eye. Fuck, what a pair of beautiful eyes, I'll give him that.
British accent too. Ok then.
"No problem, good night." I say and give him a small smile.
I turn around but he stops me by holding my wrist.
Annoying persistent little thing he is, fuck sake.
"Wait, don't go yet. You have a really nice smile." He says giving me one too.
Is Mr. Corduroy Pants In The Summer trying-? No way.
"Smile?" I sarcastically laugh lightly. "Are you trying something with me right now?"
He smirks and says pulling me closer "I don't know, is it worth trying?"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa... leave her alone, rich kid! C'mon, prick!" I hear Seb say all of a sudden, Zac right behind him too. He has to be kidding me.
"How many times have I told you I don't need men body guarding me around, Sebastian? Leave! I'll be right there." I turn to him and say really really annoyed earning a proud smile form curly guy.
Oh, why are you smiling?
I turn to face him again "Are you going to fuck right off on your own or do I have to tell you to?"
He is still smiling even after this. What is wrong with him, hello?
"Ok, sure, I'll leave you alone. I'm Harry." He says. Ok, Harry, introducing yourself isn't exactly the same as leaving me alone. "You know, this is the part where you tell me your name and all of that..."
"I'm sorry, what part of fuck off did they not teach you the meaning of back in England?" He is really starting to annoying me to a nauseating point. I have a hot dog to eat, shit to do...
He looks down to the little name plaque on my chest... fuck I forgot about that... I really didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing my name. "So, Blue... I see... great name... has a ring to it. It's really nice meeting you."
"Not to be rude, but I can't really say the same thing about you, Mr.-"
"Styles. It's Harry Styles. Glad you're showing so much interest now, it was starting to get awkward." He says with that stupid ass smirk.
Smirks annoy me for some reason. They really do. I don't think that's normal.
"I was going to say Mr. I Wear Corduroy Pants In The Summer For Some Reason... just a little nickname I made for you in my head... but sure, go ahead... tell me your full name, why not?" I say rolling my eyes.
"You're making nicknames for me? That's so sweet of you, Blue."
Oh, fuck off.
"Ok, Harry, bye."
I turn around again but he AGAIN grabs my wrist and doesn't let me.
"Will you stop grabbing my wrist? I have a hot dog to eat and it's getting cold because of you." I'll make him pay me another one if it's cold.
"Wait, do you work here?"
Is he really that stupid?
"No, I just go to the club dressed as bartender to be funny. What do you think, dumbass?"
He laughs and once again doesn't seem offended in the slightest. I want him to be offended, c'mon. And I want him to leave me alone.
"Where does all that attitude come from, Blue?" He says still all smiley but suddenly his voice is all raspy and he is looking at me like I have a second nose or something? But in a good way, if that makes sense?
"It comes from... hm..." Am I really at loss for words because of his stare. Whoa whoa whoa, not on my watch. "It comes from really far away from you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a hot dog to eat."
I finally am able to turn around without him grabbing my wrist. Instead he yells "Will I see you around?"
I give him a middle finger, not bothering to face him and yell back "Hopefully you won't!" and I hear him laugh.
He does have a cute laugh for someone so annoying.
I just don't get why he finds it so fucking hilarious when I insult him, but I'm not gonna judge. Each to their own... I find some pretty weird things funny... but people insulting me? Make me violent, not giggly.
But it doesn't matter. The Harry guy is back to his friends and I can finally eat my hot dog. That is all that matters.