I wanted to speak to someone who would understand how I felt about Billie, but Alice didn't really seem to care anymore. I only really had a few close friends: Alice, Billie, Tre and Mike and an old school friend who moved a while ago.
Her name was Casey, but we didn't really stay in touch. We use to talk a lot about boys and she did listen, she was a genius when it came to figuring out boys.
I began to think if I should ring her or not: as I let my finger hover over the call button.
Fuck it.
Near enough straight away she picked up the phone, "Hi Marsha what's up! We haven't spoken in so long!" I heard her cheerfully say down the line. Just reminded me how much I missed her.
"Casey! Hi, I know it's been some time since we last spoke and this is going to seem stupid," I rambled on. "But I need your help."
"Is Alice no help?" She asked me, not in any sarcastic way just asking.
"Not really, she never is when it comes to boys."
"Boys!? It's a boy problem! Tell me it all!"
"I know this is gonna seem like a bad joke, but there's this boy-"
I rambled on as I told her it all. Start to finish. How we met, how he always got nervous asking me things, that one time he picked me up in the cafeteria, when he took me on the roof to calm me down, when he told me he'd be ready, when he took me to the field, the beach, when we would lay half-drunk under the stars together, what Mike and his mom had said to me. I told her it all. She listened to every single word I said. And that was what I adored about Casey. She was a great listener.
"Oh my god!! This guy is in love with you Marsha!" She squealed in excitement.
"You think!?"
"Totally! He shows up at your house cause he misses you, he takes you to meet his mom, he takes you to the beach, he tells you about his dad, and it sounds like he got really upset when you thought that someone else had given him a hickey! He sounds like he is well and completely head over heels for you!" She squealed. "But do you like him?"
"Well how do I know, how can you tell if you're in love with someone Casey?"
"Well," she began, "Do you get butterflies when you hear his name?"
"Yeah,"
"Do you constantly think about him?"
"Yeah, a lot,"
"Do you overthink everything he says to you?"
I nodded, "Yeah."
She asked me a few more questions I found myself saying yes to, a lot.
"Well looks like you're in love, now all you need to do is make a move." She told me.
"How do I do that?"
She began to come up with a plan, that I needed to put into action. I took notes as she told me to and wrote every detail down. Ready.
"Okay now, go put that into action!"
The call ended as I went over to his and knocked on his door.
He opened it up rubbing his eyes as he saw me he smiled. In joggers and a baggy shirt.
"Hey Marsha," he smiled. "What's up." He moved to invite me into his house as we sat down on the couch.
"Are you busy tonight?" I ask him, smiling. Keep calm, just don't get nervous, don't blush, don't stutter.
"I'm not no, why?"
"Well, I was thinking maybe we could go out tonight? What do you think?" I smirked.
"O-oh, yeah, yeah! Totally, where?"
"Beach?" I smile.
"Yeah! Yeah sounds good, I'll pick you up at...."
"Eight,"
After we plan tonight out, the faze of step one. I left his house back to mine. I texted Casey and told her how it went.
I went to my room, waited till around eight and began to get ready. Before I even knew it there was a knock on the door.
"Hi Beej." I smiled opening the door. I closed it behind me.
"Hi," he smiled back as we got into his car. "So the beach?"
I nodded as he began to drive. I watched his focus on the road as he ran a hand through his hair. He looked like he was stressing out.
"Is everything okay?" I asked him. He quickly looked over at me and then back to the road.
"Yeah, yeah I'm fine. So how come you wanted to go out with me so badly tonight?" He smirked, not at me. Just to himself.
Don't get nervous, Don't.
"Well, I had fun with you at the beach last time," I smiled. I looked over at the back seat. As I saw a few beers in the back. "Are those yours?" I asked laughing a little.
He looked back, "Yeah, they were supposed to be for me, Mike and Tre but I guess we all forget we even had them once they started arguing."
"Ah," I said looking back straight ahead. My plan for tonight was to make a move on Billie or let him make a move on me. And go through with it.
"What are you thinking Marsha?" He asked me, sort of laughing.
"Nothing." I smiled to myself.
Once we reached the beach Billie grabbed the beers from the back as we headed down to the peer.
"Beers?" I laughed. "You wanna get drunk on a beach?" I asked him.
"I've done it many times before, it's more fun than getting drunk of a field." He teased.
"And how are you gonna drive us back, drunk?"
"Oh shit, I guess I'll have to keep a minimum of only a few." He laughed sitting down and cracking the first one open as he passed it to me, then opening up another and taking a gulp of it.
"You're not driving drunk," I told him, drinking up.
"I won't I won't! I'm not a lightweight y'know." He elbowed me laughing.
A few beers down, for me anyway, and we were debating whether or not to actually get in the water.
"I've done it loads of times before, it's safe!" He laughed as we both stood up at the end of the peer. "Can you swim?"
"Of course I can swim!" I laugh.
"Come on then!" He shouted, as he took off his shirt, I look over to him trying my absolute hardest to suppress a blush from creeping over my face. I watched him jumping around taking his jeans off and before I knew it, there he stood beside me in only his boxers.
"Staring?" He asked me.
"N-no!"
"Come on, are you coming in?" He asked me. I looked down at myself. I've got jeans on and a t-shirt. Would I have to take them off? I couldn't swim with jeans on, could I? What pants was I wearing?
"Hurry up!" He laughs, his arms around his bare chest. "I'm cold!"
I sighed, pulling off my shirt to reveal my black bra and undoing my jeans as I kicked them off next to his.
And here I was. Standing next to Billie Joe in my pants and bra, with him in his boxers ready to jump into the sea. Kind of tipsy and dumb.
"Three," he says slowly looking over at me. "Two..... ONE!" He shouts jumping in as I follow behind him. Causing obviously a huge splash from the both of us.
I feel my body weight pulled underwater as I come back to the top breaking the surface of the water, moving my arms around to float.
Right before me, came up Billie and his wet hair in his face.
"See!" He laughs. "It's not that bad!"
"But it's cold!" I shout back. Laughing.
We stop laughing. "Y'know when you asked me if there was more to life then sitting on roofs and passing cigarettes back and forth?" He said refreshing my memory, moving his arms about in the water to keep himself floating. I nodded. "Did you mean swimming in the sea at night in your underwear or did I just miss interpreted that?"
"I didn't exactly mean that, but I guess this is fun."
We edged on just a little closer to the peer, not getting out of the water but just so our feet could reach ground. My arms began to get tired.
"My arms are tired." I breathe as we stand in shoulder-length water.
He pushes his wet hair out of his face with wet hands as I watch water drip down his face. "Aww that's a shame." He teased.
I punched him laughing playfully. As he grabbed my waist and pulled me closer under the water.
"You've got to be the stupidest influence in my life I've ever had Billie Joe," I smile softly to him sliding my hands over his shoulders.
"I take pride in that." He whispered, edging his face closer to mine as my breath hitched in my throat. I was nervous, and he could tell. And he loved it.
"I don't know if you should." I breathed.
"Why not, no one likes to live a boring life Marsha," he smiled. His hands still around my waist
"Well no, but I don't think anyone's idea of fun is jumping in the sea at night in their underwear."
"It's my idea of fun."
"And why's that?"
"Because," he started. "I'm stood here, right in front of you. With my hands around your waist, your hands over my shoulders and the best part is I've seen you in your bra and pants and I've not even kissed you yet." He laughs. I blushed, ruining my objective to not blush this time around tonight. But it makes him smile wider.
"Well, I guess I never knew seeing you on the rooftop would lead to this." I smiled.
"Aren't you happy it did?"
"More than," I whispered.
His face got closer, he was gonna kiss me, wasn't he? He was going in for it, he was going in for it. He's gonna do it.
I closed my eyes ready to feel his lips on mine. But I don't, I suddenly feel his breath down my neck. As I flinch to open my eyes.
"You would've loved if I kissed you then wouldn't you?" He whispered in a raspy but hot tone. I couldn't help but shiver. I could hear it through his voice he was smirking.
I nodded slowly, as he let go and began to make his way back onto the peer. He pulled himself up, as I almost forget he was just in his boxers. And I was just in my underwear.
But he didn't kiss me? What does that mean?
I went and sat on the peer next to him. I felt his eyes on my body.
"I thought," I said looking over to him, I saw him panic looking quickly away from my chest and over to the sea. "That you said when I was ready to admit I wanted to kiss you, you would be ready?" I almost smirk. Almost smirk. I was on the edge, but I didn't know how he even felt about kissing me.
"I will be, buts it's fun to tease you." He winks. As he stands up and throws his shirt on, and struggles to put his jeans on.
I zoned out watching him change.
"Are you just gonna sit there, staying in your underwear?" He asked, biting his lip.
"You'd like that wouldn't you," I mumbled before getting changed too.
I was kind of upset he didn't kiss me. I wanted him to so badly. And I was inches away from just grabbing his stupid face and kissing it myself. But I didn't.
"What's wrong Baby?" He smiled innocently. "Are you sad I didn't kiss you?"
"N-no! Come on, let's go." I said going in front and walking to the car. He struggled to get his belt on following behind me.
We got in the car, not yet starting it up. Just sitting there in his car for a moment. I wanted to ask him why he didn't kiss Me. Was it really just because he wanted to tease me.
"I've got something I need to tell you." He spoke. Turning his head to me. His hair still wet, and his hands on the stirring wheel. But the car was still parked.
"Go for it."
"Alice rang up Mike last night midway through band practice. And she told him how she felt, so right there. In front of Tre, he tells her back. And Tre stormed off. He said he quit the band." Billie spoke. He was serious. No smiling, smirking, laughing. He looked upset. "So I've been stressing. I thought about it while we drove here a lot. And I forget when I was at the peer and in the water with you. But as you stormed in front. I got a text from my mom saying this."
He showed me his phone as I read it.
Mom: Tre here, he's just taking all of his drums in the car moving them all. What's going on? hope everything's alright.
I could tell Billie was upset. He worked so hard in that band and I saw how much he loved it when he picked up his guitar and sang.
"Aww Billie," I said. Pulling him into a hug, he hugged me back. Tight. He didn't cry or anything. But I knew he was upset.
"He'll come around, Me and you will go to his place tomorrow and talk to him tomorrow, how about that?" I suggested. I was really trying my hardest. Billie looked at me, I could never read his eyes but I saw behind the vibrant green he was hurting.
He put in so much effort in that band to make his dad proud, he's told me that before.
He nodded. "I just don't want the band to be over, I try so hard with music and I want to get somewhere- I don't understand." He rambled on, speaking fast. "I've put hours into it- I know they have but- I worked so hard on guitar for him," I knew he meant his dad, as he carried on, "And I wanted the band to become something for him and-" I watched him. Tears building up in his eyes. He was a blink away from them spilling.
"I just wanna do something for once, to make someone proud." He finished looking up at Me. "I wanted to make my dad proud."
I pulled him quickly into another hug as he began to cry on my shoulder. I rubbed his back and spoke softly into his ear trying to calm him down.
"It's gonna be okay Beej, it's alright I'm here,"
Once he had finished crying. He pulled away from me and wiped his eyes. Putting his hands back on the steering wheel and began to start the car.
"It's gonna be okay Billie. I'm gonna help you."
"Thanks, Marsha," he sniffed. "I don't know how I would do this shit without you."