I stared at him for a while, unable to say or do anything. The wind whistled around me.
He watched me, as well, not saying anything other than what he had said already. "Aren't you going to say anything?" He asked, finally.
My eyes widened. "Me?" I asked, "I have to say something? What about you, Parker? You're the one who made my life hell for the past few years and now you're saying that it hurts you when I say that we used to be best friends? I don't understand you, Parker. I used to, but apparently I don't anymore."
He looked visibly pained. Silence followed.
I sighed and went to sit on the bonnet next to him. Parker kept making movements like he was going to say something, but he didn't.
"You left without saying goodbye," he said, quietly.
I straightened. Looking over at him I realized that he wasn't looking at me. He was looking down at the ground, looking like he had said something he shouldn't have.
"Is that what this was all about?" I asked, half relieved, half angry.
Parker was silent for a moment. "No." He raised his head. "But it has a little to do with it."
"I was a kid, Parker!"
"So was I!" He was looking right at me, his bright green eyes a little dark in the dim lighting. "I lost my best friend. I lost my mother. My Dad was working all the time. I had no one. I was all alone, Alex. I had no idea what to do. You weren't there for me to talk to, Alex and I know that it wasn't your fault, but you weren't there."
"I had to go, Parker. You knew that. My Dad couldn't leave me behind so I had to go," I said, painfully.
All these years, a part of the reason Parker was so hurt was because he had lost me.
"I know," he said.
"God, Parker." I breathed.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, Alex." He cleared his throat. "I've been such a terrible person, especially to you. I can't even begin to imagine how much I've hurt you. I don't know what got into me. Something shifted in me after you left, Alex. I don't know what it was, but something did. Since the day you told me that the reason you go to see Michael is because of me, I've been beating myself up about it. I was so mad at myself, I didn't know what to do. You know how terrible I am at dealing with my emotions. I couldn't even stop myself until it was too late. God, I'm so sorry, Alex." He heaved a deep sigh and looked at me and I could see tears, streaking slowly down his face. "What did I do to you, Alex? You cry to your dead Mom about me. I don't know what your Mom would think of me if she was alive. I keep taking flowers for her, thinking that it'll be OK, but it isn't. I keep hurting her daughter and I think flowers will make up for it. I promised her that I'll look after you. Such a shitty promise keeper I am. God, I've hated myself for so long, but not as much as after I realized what I did to you."
"You promised my Mom?" I asked.
He looked at me like I was crazy for a moment, visibly out of breath. "Yeah. When I visited her in the hospital one day, I was sitting next to her and she asked me whether I'd look after you if she had to go away, and God, Alex, I'd have promised her anything. She was like the mother I never had and if looking after you made her happy, goddammit I was going to do it. But I guess I didn't. I messed up big time. I'm so sorry, Alex."
It was about now that I realized even I was crying. "No, Parker. Forget about. Just stop crying, Parker. Please. Let's just go home."
Parker squeezed his eyes shut for a moment and then got up. "Yeah," he said, "Yeah, let's go home."
He got up and pulled me to my feet. We both got in and Parker started to drive home. Just before town, Parker turned off the road. "How about a late night snack?" He asked. He was pulling into Joey's; one of our favorite places to come as kids. "In the mood for their killer burger?" He asked, smiling at me, his eyes shining.
"Always."
We walked in. It was pretty deserted because of the late hour. We sat down and ordered two burgers and two milkshakes and a whole heap of cheesy fries.
"You're dating Blake, right?" He asked.
I nodded. He nodded back.
"You know, not to bring up a sore topic, but Michael never knew it was you I talked about," I told him.
Parker chuckled at after so many years, it was still the most wonderful thing I'd ever heard. "That sounds about right," he said.
After the food came, there was only lilting conversations of how it was still so good and reminiscing all the times we'd been here. When we were done, Parker pulled out wad of cash and tossed it on to the table. "It's on me," he said, "It's the least I could do."
We walked out into the cool, night air and started towards the car.
"Alex?" Parker's voice floated over to me.
"Hmm?"
"Are we friends again?" He asked.
I laughed. "You just bought me food. I think we can safely assume that we're friends." I saw him open his mouth. "And let's not talk about any of it. At least not tonight."
"Deal."
So that's how we ended up driving back home, singing the songs that played on the radio at the top of our voices. We pulled up into Parker's driveway as the last verse of Uptown Funk died. He turned off the engine and we laughed for a moment. Parker turned his head towards his house.
"Huh, I guess I forgot to turn off that light," he said.
I turned, too. "Yeah, I -" I whirled around to look at him, "When I left, your house was dark, Parker. I remember that."
A fleeting look of worry took over Parker's face and he frowned, getting out of the car. He was already at the door by the time I got out. I ran up the driveway and up the steps. Parker had unlocked the door, which meant that no one had broken in through the front door, but once I caught sight of the living room, I thought different.
The vase on the stand near the couch was on the floor, in pieces. The coffee table and other items of furniture were in disarray. Parker ran up the stairs, leaving me where I was. The house was never immaculate because two men lived in it, but it was always neat and clean and this definitely looked trashed. Books had been taken off the shelves and were on the ground. Parker descended the stairs, looking a little relieved. He came to stand near me and assess the damage.
"Parker does this have anything to do with the Lake Town?" I asked, slowly.
His face clouded.
"Maybe you should go home, Alex," he said, in a low voice.
I looked at him. "Look, dude. You can tell me or not, but we're both going to have to clean this up because your Dad and my Dad both get back tomorrow and no way in hell should your Dad have to see this."
Parker looked over at me and gave me a small, crooked smile.