— taylor swift: but darling we found wonderland, you and I got lost in it and we pretended it could last forever —
Previously on — bulletprxxf lxve —:
Rich turns the squad’s attention to Liam by asking him, “Is your dick really 10 inches?” Liam’s eyes bulge out of his orbits and roll onto the bed. “Or are they 11?”
“Uh,” Liam is tongue-tied, unsure if he should answer the question, not answer the question or where the rumor that his penis size was that size started from.
“He has one dick not two,” Kylie says.
“What?”
“You said or ‘are they 11’?” Kylie corrects him.
“Are they?” Rich asks.
“Dimwit.” Niall lightly slaps Rich’s arm. “It’s ‘is it 11?’ not ‘are they 11?’!”
“That’s what I’m saying,” Rich insists.
“Oh jeez,” Tristan sighs. “This is what happens when you drop out of high school.”
“And get a plastic cock,” Kylie giggles.
Rich ignores her and asks Liam, “So which is it, 10 or 11?”
“Or is it 12?” Nick winks.
“It can’t be 12, that’s too big!”
“Because then it would be half of your size,” Kylie says and the laughter that fills the room immediately can be heard down the hall to the elevator which is seven rooms away.
“I got a new dick!” Rich cries out.
“Made In China,” Tristan says. He signs the letter F in the air. “Fake!”
“It’s real, you sucked it and you know it’s real,” Rich cries out again.
“I tasted plastic,” Robin’s girlfriend says
And now:
Niall bites his bottom lip in a state of anxiety. It is a couple of weeks to Christmas and he is already packing to go home. Almost packing to go home.
He had already found a match for his liver while he was in Australia and the liver transplant was successful. He was starting his radiotherapy for mouth cancer which he and the doctors and agreed to start when he was back in London. His knee surgery was scheduled the beginning of December so that he would be ready for the concerts by end of January. As for his drug addiction? He simply did not know. Harry signed him up – albeit forcefully – to a (rich and exclusive) rehab center in Southern UK near the beach yet every day it was hard to go with either alcohol or his coke while he was still in Australia… thankfully he had his weed or else he would simply die.
He hears three knocks to his hospital room door and calls Zayn in.
“Hi,” he greets.
“Hey,” Niall greets back, his back to the window where the sun is brightly shinning. Zayn shifts on the spot, his head cast downward to his feet.
“I like your shirt,” Zayn comments. Niall is donned in a BMTH black shirt, ripped red skinny jeans and black Converse on his feet. “Where’d you get it?”
“Ladavid got it for me.”
“And your skinnies?”
“From Rich,” Niall says.
“Shoes?”
“Meself. And you want to know about my skin?” he asks and Zayn cockily smiles. “I got that from my mom.”
“You don’t sound so sure,” Zayn says.
“Does kissing people make you this awkward?” Niall asks. “It’s not divine Zayn.”
Zayn raises his head to Niall’s orbs. “It’s hard for me, okay? I’ve been reading verses and chapters from the Bible about homosexuality, which surprisingly, there aren’t many, and I study them day and night and continue studying them to make sense of everything that’s happening now. Between you and me.”
“And what have you learnt?” Niall asks.
“That God still loves me,” Zayn says, beaming widely. “I thought He didn’t but He does. Truthfully, God does not hate the gays or lesbians but the sin itself.”
“So the moment you act on it then God doesn’t like you,” Niall says. Zayn bites the inside of his cheek, his gaze shifting around the room. Niall walks towards him and takes hold of his hand, entwining their fingers. “You’re getting frown lines.”
“I’m not,” Zayn disagrees, looking deep into the crooked lines in Niall’s pupils. The look like cracks on a wall in a grunge-y way and they are stunning.
“Stop thinking too much about it. I know how you feel Zayn. I know that the kiss was a mistake. You didn’t mean to kiss me but I understand.”
“I kissed you twice,” Zayn points out. He could have kissed Niall once but no, he had to do it twice. He felt like a cliché blub when he thinks that Niall’s lips are addictive but that was the thing, they are addictive.
“Hmm.”
“I’m turning out to be like Liam,” he whispers.
Niall shakes his head. “No you’re not. You’re becoming stronger and stronger and I think this is God testing you because He knows that you’ll overcome this. He gives us nothing that is beyond our strength”
“But it’s taking all of me to walk away from you.”
Niall strokes the Mexican’s soft cheek. “Zayn.”
“You get to live your life being free and I have to stop this…feeling inside of me from getting any stronger until I can’t control it. I’m going to…”
“Don’t do this to yourself,” Niall tells him softly. He lays his chin on his shoulder, Zayn’s head buried deep into Niall. Niall wraps his arm around his body tightly, his fingers softly massaging his back.
“I want to be free,” Zayn pleads softly. “I don’t want to be chained.”
“You don’t choose who you fall in love with but you can choose if you want to love them or let them go,” says Niall in a warning tone. “Let me go Zayn and don’t look back. Don’t you dare look back and you will save yourself a lot of heartache and heartbreak.”
Niall can feel the crinkles on Zayn’s mouth curling upwards. “It would be an honor to get my heart broken by you Nini.”
“No it wouldn’t,” Niall shakes his head slightly.
“Why?”
“You have a fiancée back at home,” Niall points out.
“And?”
“Because we’d be perfect together,” Niall heartedly says. “Better than Larry Stylinson.”
“Or Bonnie and Clyde.”
“The gay version.”
“You don’t make sense,” Zayn says, laughing quietly.
“I’m not going to make you be something you’re not. Yes you’re gay but Liam was right, you’re a Christian with strong beliefs that being gay is wrong and I think the world is cruel in making who you are right now but shit happens.”
“You’re full of shit,” Zayn jokes.
“I’m going to be like Liam if I let us be us and I know how much it hurts to use somebody for the sake of doing it, I know the pain one goes through and I don’t want you to feel even a pinch of it and that’s why we can’t be together, I don’t want you to feel pain. But just because we can’t be together, doesn’t mean that I won’t stop loving you to death.”
Zayn cries softly to Niall’s broad shoulders. “It’s taking everything.”
“I know.”
Zayn asks, “Will you be happy?”
“Only when you are.”
They wrap their arms one last time warmly around each other and let go. Louis walks in when they are hugging and he too stretches his arm around the two bodies, Harry and Liam joining in.
“This was a divine Ziall hug, not for all of us,” Niall protests, sandwiched between Zayn and Louis.
“Get in there sweetums,” Harry says, snuggling his body closer to the group hug. “Don’t let go.”
Louis joins in. “Harder Harold, harder. All in Liam?”
“This feels good,” Liam groans into the hug.
“Was that an orgasm I hear Liam?” Harry asks.
“No, I can’t do this,” Zayn says, backing his body away from the hug. “This is gross.”
Louis turns to Niall and asks, “All packed?”
“Yeah,” he nods. “Can’t believe I’m finally leaving the hospital.”
“Neither can we,” Harry says. “It’s been months since you were here.”
“Where are your fish?” Liam asks.
“I gave them to Grimmy to take them home for me,” Niall explains. “I actually have two Kraken Fish out of the 10 in the world!”
“Lucky lad,” Harry grins. “All I have is a copy of the Mona Lisa.”
“And me,” Louis smiles. He tip toes on his black Vans to give his boyfriend a snog.
“But first, we’re going to Nandos,” Liam says cheerfully.
Niall asks excitedly, “Really?”
“Yep, only for you. You can’t just leave Aussie without eating in Aussie,” Louis says picking up Niall’s bags.
“I got those,” Niall protests attempting to carry his own luggage.
“Not today Nini,” Zayn shakes head. “We’re your servants for the day.”
“Lou are you serious?” Harry asks Louis who is carrying the toiletry bag alone. “Carry more luggage, like this tiny suitcase.”
“Fine, man hands,” Louis groans picking it up.
“I don’t have big hands,” Harry pouts. “Liam tell him I don’t have big hands.”
“You do have big hands,” Liam says and Louis’ laughter echoes down the hospital corridor. “They’re bigger than LeBron’s.”
“Shots fired,” Zayn says, swinging a leather bag over his shoulders.
“Well you have lesbian hair,” Harry retaliates.
“Used to,” Louis corrects. He quickly gets tired of carrying the small suitcase and instead drags it across the tiled floor.
“You still do,” Niall says.
“I do not, I have fierce hair that slays all of yours,” Louis says sassily.
“According to the fans, I have the greatest hair,” Harry grins. Zayn points out that his hair looks like that of a girl. “Long hair, don’t care.”
“I still have the fiercest hair!” Louis insists.
“Stop shaking your ass,” Liam says, “that only works with Harry.”
Harry says scooping Louis’ booty. “And it’s all for me.”
“Ew,” Liam sneers. “Disgusting.”
Louis turns back and winks at Liam. “You want some of this?”
“My anaconda don’t want none, hun,” Liam forcefully says.
“My anaconda wants,” Harry whispers to Louis.
“Your anaconda will get,” Louis winks, kissing Harry’s pink cheeks.
Zayn rolls his eyes. “Ugh white people.”
“We’re right here you know,” Liam reminds the couple. “And it’s not pretty. Nobody likes gay porn in a hospital.” Liam sees the glitter in Larry’s eyes and he knows. He knows they already had sex in the hospital. Probably the bathroom, he guesses. As always!
“Actually no,” Louis says seeing Liam’s eyes grow in wonder. “We didn’t have sex in the bathroom but we should have.”
“We should’ve.”
“Where then?” Liam asks, pressing the elevator button. Harry challenges him to guess. Liam ponders for a moment and then guess several places within the hospital building and they are all wrong. Inside the elevator, Liam asks Niall and Zayn to guess as well.
“I’m out,” Zayn says not wanting to join in.
“Wow Zayn, you’re so much fun!” Louis sarcastically says.
“Carry the bloody bag Lou!” Harry scolds Louis who immediately dropped his assigned luggage on the elevator floor.
“Jeez, what’s with you today man hands?”
“Lesbian hair!”
“Asshole!”
“Cunt.”
“I love you.”
Harry laughs at his boyfriend. “You ran out of curse words, didn’tcha?”
“Always?”
“Don’t say forever,” Liam groans.
Harry presses his lips down to Louis, his hands at the bottom of Louis’ spine. “Always.”
“Okay, that’s it,” Liam sighs, putting the luggage down. “We need to stop pretending we’re Hazel and Gus, we are not in that stupid movie, okay?”
The boys simultaneously answer, “Okay.”
“This is going to be the end of me,” Liam sighs.
“Chicken diggity,” Niall says, his eyes not leaving the elevator neon sign at the top. He presses his lips together to prevent himself from laughing.
“The hell is this guy saying?” Liam wonders, in a narrative voice.
“Nobody ever knows,” Zayn says the same mocking voice as Liam.
“It’s a mystery.”
“Only time shall tell,” Harry adds.
“It’s chicken diggity,” Niall says again.
“Someone stop it before it’s too late,” Louis says dramatically.
“It can’t because it’s divine,” Zayn yelps.
“It’s too damn divine,” Louis adds.
Niall smirks, “The chicken diggity.” and they laugh; a genuine, for ol’ time’s sake, laugh that speaks and it says the boys are okay.
— the best people in life are free —
~~~~
soooooooo im checking and noticing that there’s been a lot of Ziall and it’s starting to look like a Ziaaaaaaaaaaall fanfic so let’s pause on that for a second and goooo to the reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal OTP aka LAAAAAAAAAAAARRY!!! Don’t forgeeeeet to vote, commeeeeeeeeeeent down belooooow and share with your unicorns.
OUT!