I woke up to kisses on my neck, soft and delicate, it felt goosebumps scatter across my body.
"Mmmm." I heard him hum. "Noona, are you away now?"
"If I say yes, are you going to stop kissing me?"
"Of course not." He smiled against me. He continued his kissing, moving from my neck to my chest. There was no lust behind his kisses, but I liked that. I liked the intimacy. Finally he moved his lips from my body, resting back into his side and I turned to face him. "Do you want me to keep kissing you? Because I will." He gave me a blinding smile, making my heart race.
"I would love more kisses, but I understand you cant kiss me all day every day."
"That sounds like a challenge." He wound his arm around my wait pulling me into him. He went to start kissing me again, but I stopped him placing one kiss on his lips.
"As much as I would love to have your lips all over me, I think it would be a great time for us to talk a little bit. Unless you don't want to do that." I felt a little werid. That is such a 'girl' thing to say. He was just a fuck buddy for the trip, not my boyfriend. Did I really expect him to sit here and talk? I was about to take back what I said, but I was stopped.
He smiled again, bringing his hand over my head and running his fingers through my hair. "I would really enjoy that."
I laughed. "I'm sorry, really? I shouldn't have asked for that."
"Why not?" He asked, tracing his fingertip over my cheekbone. "I would really like to get to know you better."
I smiled not sure whether or not I believed him. "Why?"
"Because I want to." He said, as if it was simple and uncomplicated.
"What would you want to know?"
He thought for a moment, searching my eyes as he smiled. "Namjoon doesn't like me does he?"
I wasn't expecting that. His face was neutral, and his fingertip continued to trace over my cheek and I let out a small exhale. "I don't think he doesn't like you, I think he doesn't like the idea of me being used."
"He think's I am using you?"
"Probably." I replied. "But he's like an over protective big...little brother. Our mom passed not long after he was born, so my dad raised us for the most part. There is only a 4 year age gap between us, but when you're 11, 12, 13 years old, it's a bigger gap than you'd think. He's kind of like my baby. I was the first one he came out to."
"It's really cool that you guys are so close." He smiled. "I used to be close to my younger brother, but he kind of does his own thing now. Taehyung is more like a brother than he is to be honest." His voice was sad
"I think family are the people who you chose to have in your life, not the ones that you are obligated to. I love my brothers, and I love my dad. But I for sure think Hobi and Yoongi are part of my family."
"What about Tae."
"Distant family."
He laughed. "So you were the one taking are of your father before he started living in the facility?"
"Yeah." I nodded.
"That must have been hard." He said, now cupping my cheek and rubbing his thumb.
"It was." I said, looking down at his lips instead of his eyes. "That's when I started eating differently. A lot of people think it didn't start losing my weight until after my dad was in the facility, but it was actually when I was taking care of him. I cooked for him more and I wanted to be sure that he was eating healthy, so I was too. I lost enough to where it was getting noticeable and he was still with us at that time. But it was shortly after that when he took a turn for the worst and Namjoon and Jin basically made an executive decision to call the facility."
"You didn't want to?"
"No." I said. "I wanted to take care of him, in his home, where he was comfortable and familiar. But it was harder on him because he when he would lose himself he would struggle remembering where anything was, and he kept recognizing things like the pictures and certain places in the house were filled with memories. Memories from when my mom was around. So it was just really hard on him. It was harder on him than it was for me, and it was difficult to sign the paperwork."
"Im sure he understands. "
"He does." I smiled. "Jin and Namjoon assure me that he understand why we did it and that he agreed it was best." I paused, my eyes filling with water, his expression changing to a concerned look. "He says he misses me."
"You visit him don't you?" He asked, scooting closer to me.
"I do. But he's never lucid when I visit. Never. The last time I talked to my father was the day that we dropped him off at the facility. He kissed me and told me he loved me, and to keep up the good work." I took in a deep breath, trying to calm myself. I was able to stop the sobbing but tears continued to fall from my eyes, which Jimin wiped away with a gentle swipe of his thumb.
"I'm so sorry." He whispered then kissed me on the tip of my nose. "That cant be easy."
"I manage." I said, then cleared my throat and taking a deep breath, exhaling. It felt good talking to someone that wasn't Namjoon or Jin about this. I refocused on his eyes and decided to change the topic. "What about you?"
"What do you want to know?"
"Why don't you do what you want to do, be successful, and show your father that not only he was wrong, but that he is proud of you no matter what line of work you are in?"
"I've thought abut it."
"You should do it."
He paused, his wheels turning. "It's scary."
"Nothing worth doing isn't a little scary." I said to him. "The thrill of it makes it all worth it. Not only that, but being successful is the cherry on top. The little I know of you I don't think you'd be willing to take the risk if you weren't going to be successful."
He leaned forward kissing me again, softly. "You are right."
"I usually am." I laughed. "Can I ask you a really personal question? You don't have to answer it if you are uncomfortable."
"What is it?"
I hesitated, unsure if it would break the peace between us, but decided that I really wanted to know. "You have made a couple of comments to me about body image and being healthy and losing the weight the right way." I started. I gauged his reaction, and I could tell that he knew where I was going with this because his thumb stopped moving against my cheek, and his hand slipped from my cheek to my neck. "What's that about?" I asked, not wanting to ask too direct of a question.
He closed his eyes, before swallowing thickly, then he opened his mouth as if to speak before shutting it again.
"You don't have to answer." I said, making him open his eyes.
"I used to hate myself." He said. "I had this image that my parent panted in my head of what perfection was, and I thought the only thing that I could control was my body. I thought that having washboard abs and perfect shape was important. I hated the way I looked so I worked out, did a lot of exercises, sometimes until I would pass out. I would go on fasting diets. Unhealthy fasting diets."
"Jimin..." I gasped not expecting that confession at all.
"I'm not anymore." He assured me. "I was able to find balance between healthy diet, healthy mind frame, and real expectations of my body. If you think I look good now, you should have seen me when I was 18. My abs were way more defined." He laughed.
"I think you are perfect the way you are right now." I said to him. It was the truth. He was very toned, very muscular, and it was clear he took pride in his appearance. "You are very handsome, and your body looks better than most people's I know. Better than mine that is for sure."
"I like your body." He was quick to say. "Is that not clear?" He raised an eye brow and pushed his pelvis into mine. His dick was hard again making me laugh.
"I didn't say that you didn't. I just said that yours is better."
"Stop saying things like that." He snapped. "Your body is perfect the way it is, you don't have to strive to look a certain way. If the purpose of your dieting is to be healthier, keep that mind frame. Don't listen to other people about what beauty is. If any man out there looks at you, and does notice how incredible and sexy you are then they are in the wrong. They are missing out, not you."
"Don't worry Jimin, my confidence is getting there." I said putting my hand on his arm. "But the praise is helping."
He chuckled and pulled me in for a kiss. "I did notice you clench around me when I praised you. Do you like being told you are a good girl?"
"I might." I said biting my lip.
He smiled then busied my lips with his. "Mmmm I love kissing you." He said in a whisper, moving to suck on the spot below my ear.
"I love it when you kiss me." I replied, trying to bite back a moan.
I felt him get even harder as he pressed against me. "Morning round?" He asked.
"Yes, please." I said, my voice needy.
After another round, that took over an hour to end, we each took a shower. Separate from each other because we didn't trust ourselves. When I pulled on my favorite cream colored spring dress, Jimin came into the room in a pair of jeans, a white tee and a flannel button up, open over the white tee. He looked great.
His hair was still a little wet, and he ran his fingers through it as he looked at the mirror in my room.
"Want to go for a walk with me?" He asked, holding up a pair of my sandals.
"Sure." I smiled. I took the sandals from him and we made our way downstairs.
Everyone was down there already, lounging. Namjoon walked over to me greeting me with a Good Morning and offering me a bowl of grapes.
"Thank you." I said.
"I saved them because I know they are your favorite."
"You are the best brother." I said kissing him on the cheek.
"Hey." I heard Jin from the couch.
"Best little brother, you're the best younger brother." I said hoping he'd accept it.
I saw him nod and snuggle back into my best friends arms. I locked eyes with Hoseok and he wiggled his eyebrows at me. "How was your night bestie."
"Oh I think we all heard how her night was." Tae laughed. Jimin threw a banana at him, which he caused with ease. "Thanks." He grinned starting to peal it.
"We are going for a walk." Jimin said, taking my hand and pulling me to the door. "Bye losers."
I giggled at the shouts behind us until the door was shut and we were making out way down to the sand. Jimin laced his fingers between mine, and I felt butterflies through my belly.
We spent a few hours walking up and down the sandy trail getting to know each other even better. It felt nice to feel his hand around mine. And like I thought, Jimin was a good person. We laughed together, and pocked fun at one another. He was so easy to talk to. So easy to be around.
I was starting to dread leaving this family reunion.
Which never happens.