sarah's pov
walking into the shared apartment, the smell of something rotting immediately greeted me. i pushed the door fully open, revealing paige and sophie spread out on the white couch, watching a movie on disney plus. "um, where's clara?" i asked, dropped my keys on the kitchen island and opening the fridge, grabbing my half full mango dragonfruit refresher from starbucks earlier that morning. "she's shitting." sophie answered, earning a laugh from paige and i.
my best friends and i all packed up our childhoods and moved from houston, texas to los angeles, california, wanting you get a jump start at our careers. our past begins in kindergarten, when me, sophie, and paige first met. the three of us were in the same class & our teacher made a stupid decision to let us sit together for the whole year. we didn't meet clara until she switched schools to our public school in third grade. as soon as we saw her that day at recess by herself, we made an attempt to talk to her, and i'm so glad we did because she's just as pyscho as the rest of us.
growing up, we all wanted different things for ourselves. my whole life, i've always wanted to be a photographer. for my eleventh birthday, my dad got me a brand new canon camera. little did he know how much that one gift would change my life.
after that, i took pictures of everything. it started off with just random plants i would see in the garden in our back yard, then to my friends on their birthdays or special occasions, and eventually, for sporting events at our high school.
but, obviously we all have different futures. paige has been modeling since she was four, and is now training to be a victoria's secret angel. clara has an amazing voice and is trying to get picked up by a label. and sophie has been dancing since she could walk.
once it came time to graduation, we all knew what we wanted in life, but also knew we needed each other in our futures. with that being said, at eighteen, we packed up our lives and made the move all the way out here.
i shook my head and walked over to the couch, sitting next to sophie, realizing they were watching the game plan. "paige!" clara screamed from my room. wait a damn minute. why the fuck is she in my bathroom.
"what!" paige shouted back, picking up the remote and pausing the movie. "do you know where the febreeze is? i just blew up sarah's bathroom and i don't want her to know- oh fuck." clara exclaimed as she walked out of my room, stopping dead in her tracks when she saw me.
"i'm going to beat your ass." i calmly said. she laughed and walked over to us, sitting in between us. "you shit in my bathroom last week so shut the fuck up. i just had to get it out before we all started getting ready for tonight." she responded.
"what's tonight?" paige questioned as she scrolled through her phone, not taking her eyes off of the screen. "matthew espinosa is having a kick back." clara explained. "apparently a bunch of old viners and youtubers are going to be there."
"that's sounds boring as fuck." sophie spat, making me laugh. "yeah, i don't feel like being around those guys." paige added, her eyes still glued to her phone. "if y'all go, i'll buy y'all white claws and smirnoffs." clara offered. "well, what the fuck are we doing. let's get ready bitches." paige said, jumping off the couch and making her way into her room, the three of us copying her actions.
after two hours of perfecting our makeup, arguing over who is wearing what, and not knowing what to do with our hair, we were all finally ready. paige and i were sitting on the kitchen island, scrolling through different snapchat stories when clara and sophie busted from their rooms. "i don't know about y'all but i look fine as fuck!" clara shouted, walking over to the body length mirror in the living room and posing in front of it, facing her camera on snapchat on her reflection.
"damn, i'm so fine." she laughed, taking the picture and messing with different filters and stickers. "who's driving tonight?" i asked, jumping off of the island and grabbing my wristlet and shoving my phone into the back pocket of my black jeans. "i drove last week so not me."
paige immediately responded. "i will. i don't think i'm gonna drink tonight. i have to be at a shoot tomorrow at 5:30 in the morning so." she explained. we nodded our heads and followed her out the door, sophie making sure it locked as we all left.
twenty minutes later, we pulled up to a huge house with at least four floors. cars were lined up down the block, people walking in and out of the building. "um, i think this is a little bit bigger than a kickback." paige mumbled, pulling up to a spot right in front of the double doors.
we all climbed out of the small black kia, my eyes wondering over the exterior of the house, noticing all of the beautiful plants on the sides and the carved stones on the walls. "this place is so pretty."
i followed behind the girls as we walked through the yard and to the doors, clara not even bothering knocking, and walking straight inside. the smell of weed and sweat immediately hit me. it was so humid inside i could already feel my perfectly straightened hair starting to frizz back into its wavy curls.
"welcome ladies." a hard, male voice said. i looked over and saw the one and only, nate jacobs standing in front of us, aka clara's ex boyfriend.
they started dating about a month after we moved out here, and boy, did clara catch feelings for him fast. they were always together. most of the time, she stayed at his place, which was kind of a good thing because it saved us from having to hear what they were doing every single night. but, it also sucked because we never got to see clara and actually spend time with her.
about eight months into their relationship, she find out he was cheating on her with maddie, who was a good friend of ours, and it destroyed her. we convinced her to break up with him because of it even though she just wanted to forgive him and act like it never happened. but, we all knew that if she were to forgive him, he would be loyal for a just a small bit of time then just fall right back in. ever since then, he finds her at every party or kickback, and always try's to get back with her.
"hey." clara quietly said, her voice almost inaudible under the blasting music. her eyes softened at the sight of him, even with that cocky smirk plastered on his face. "what the fuck do you want, nate? i'm sure maddie is waiting for you somewhere." paige answered, crossing her arms and walking over to clara, standing pretty much between the two of them. "fuck off, smith." he replied, his lips switching from that nasty smirk to annoyance as he walked away from us.
"he pisses me off so much." sophie yelled, making me roll my eyes in annoyance from his presence. "he may be a dick, but he has the biggest dick i've ever seen." clara laughed. i looked at paige, trying not to laugh as i could tell she was mad at the fact nate even tried to talk to clara. he should know by now that he's never getting back with her, but there's something about these la boys and their brains being the size of a pea.
we made our way through the sweaty bodies of people grinding against each other and couples pretty much fucking in the middle of the dance floor, eventually making it to the kitchen. placed on the counters, island, and dining table were every single type of alcohol you can think of, free for anyone to take. i reached for a blue razz loko, watching as sophie grabbed a black cherry white claw, and clara grabbed a peach md- our go to drinks. even though four lokos are the most disgusting type of alcohol you could ever drink, they get you fucked up the fastest. as a lightweight, only about half of this will get me drunk, and that's just sad.
i noticed paige walked over to a white cooler off to the side and grabbed a water bottle, opening it and taking a quick sip. i popped open my van and took a swig, the sour liquid burning my throat. after a few sips, i could already feel a bubble building up in my stomach. uh oh.
being as we're twenty year olds living on our own in los angeles, you would think that all of us were big party girls. well, you're wrong. paige, sophie, and clara are party girls, while i'm usually the designated driver. i'm not a fan of waking up the next day and feeling so hungover that i'd rather be dead. tonight i wanted to get wasted and have some fun since i haven't in awhile, but i also don't want to leave paige by herself.
sophie pulled clara with her and made their way into the huge mob of people on the dance floor, leaving me and paige standing in the kitchen with a few other random people. "why didn't you go with them?" paige asked, sipping her water as she did. i shrugged, letting my eyes scan the open house, taking in the wild scene in front of me. "i don't know. i wanted to let loose tonight, but i also know i'm just not up for it tonight." i explained, seeing paige nod her head out of the corner of my eye. "i feel you." she answered.
"wanna come with me out back? i'm gonna see if we know anyone out there." paige questioned, pushing her phone into the waistband of her leggings and walking to the back door, me following behind her. "yes please."
as soon as i stepped foot into the back yard, i immediately regretted it. "paige! sarah! what's up guys?" our friend, jack johnson, shouted from the opposite side of the patio. "hey johnson." paige yelled back, making her way over to the group of guys standing by the fire pit.
jack johnson. a really talented rapper from nebraska, who just so happens to be the other half of a singing/rapping duo my ex boyfriend is apart of. jack gilinsky. who also just so happens to be sitting right next to johnson. fuck me.
"i haven't been seeing much of you, williams. you never come out with the girls anymore. i miss you." johnson said as he stood up and embraced us into a hug. i smiled into our hug, genuinely missing johnson.
"life has just been a little hectic recently, i guess." i shrugged, standing next to paige as johnson sat back down right next to us. my eyes drifted from johnson to jack, seeing him already staring back at me.
i met jack literally the very first day we moved here. we were at trader joe's and i physically ran into him, making him drop whatever he had in his hands.
"oh my god, i'm so sorry." i exclaimed, immediately dropping down to help him pick up his things, not even looking to see who it was yet.
"don't worry about it. i didn't even want to buy dried banana chips anyways. they're for my roommate." the guy explained. i laughed and looked up at him as he did the same and saw his dark brown eyes.
i examined his face for a second, noticing his short but curly almost black hair, sharp jawline, and slight stubble around his jaw. he was hot as fuck.
"what's your name?" he asked, standing up and reaching for my hand, which i almost too quickly accepted, and stood up. "uh, i'm sarah." i replied, feeling my cheeks heat up just being around him.
"i'm jack gilinsky. how come i've never seen you around before?" he questioned, his arms crossing over his chest making his biceps pop from under his long sleeve black t-shirt. i pulled my eyes from his arms back to his eyes before he could catch me staring, but he most definitely caught me anyways.
"i actually just moved here today. i'm living with my best friends." i answered, placing a small smile on my lips. he nodded, looking down at his feet and then to his right, looking at some blonde guy waving him over by the cash register.
"listen, i gotta go, but is there anyway i could get your number?" he asked. i could feel my cheeks beating up as i nodded and took his phone from his hands as he handed it to me. i quickly typed in my number and saved it, giving it back to him.
"i'll see you around, sarah." he smoothly said, leaving me standing in the middle of the produce section as he walked over to his friend.
for weeks, we got to know each other, hung out, went on dates. i eventually introduced him to my friends and he got along with all of them perfectly, same with his friends. once we were officially together, i knew i was falling for him hard, even after only knowing him for a few months.
after dating for a year and supporting him as jack & jack starting getting more and more famous, he found out he was going on an international tour, meaning he'd be gone for months. at the time, i was enrolled at ucla, taking a few basic classes and a one semester photography class, so i couldn't just leave.
he suggested the idea of long distance, but i knew that would only be hurting both of us. that night, i ended things with him, which resulted in a huge fight that was blown out of proportion and me breaking not just his heart, but mine. once he left for tour, i never heard from him again. apparently he starting dating his opening act, madison beer, but i always pushes it out of my mind, knowing that if i thought about it for too long, i'd just be hurting myself.
"sarah, you good there?" johnson asked, drawing my attention back to the group in front of me. "oh shit, yeah, sorry. long day at work." i shortly answered. i took a seat next to paige on the bench next to johnson.
"sarah, paige. i want y'all to meet some friends of mine. this is max, jaiden, mark, logan, and shawn. y'all already know sammy and jack." he explained, pointing to each guy as he said their names. "hey." paige smiled at them, obviously not that interested since she looked up for a second and then looked back down at her phone, texting her boyfriend, grayson, back.
i looked at the guys one by one, but stopped once i got to shawn. he was fine. he looked tall, dark brown hair, brown eyes, fair skin, built, but not too big. he looked perfect. "it's nice to meet y'all." i smiled, my eyes locking with shawn's as he smiled right back at me.
i heard a scoff and turned my eyes back to
jack as he jumped out of his chair and stomped inside, drawing the whole groups attention. "what crawled up his ass?" jaiden asked, confusion written on his face. "he's just mad about the fact that sarah doesn't want him anymore." johnson laughed, causing everyone else laugh, except me. "johnson, enough." i shot back, standing up from my chair and walking back inside, taking another sip from my loko as i did so.
once i was back inside and in the kitchen, i felt the urge to pee. i pushed past random people, feeling myself starting to sweat a bit from how humid the room was. i looked around the corner and found a hallway with a bunch of doors. one of these has to be a bathroom.
i opened one door and found a random couple in the middle of fucking on a pool table. "oh fuck, sorry." i yelled, slamming the door back shut. i shook the image out of my head and continued to the next door and opened it, finding another couple fucking on the literal floor. "what the fuck!" the guy shouted, making me laugh. i slammed the door shut and opened the next one. luckily, it was the bathroom and it was empty.
i sat my loko down and pulled my phone out of my pocket, placing it next to my drink on the white counter top. i walked over to the toilet and quickly did my business, staring at my shoes as i felt a slight buzz starting to hit me. i planned on not getting drunk tonight, but honestly, now i need it.
i stood up and pulled my pants up with me i flushes the toilet and washed my hands, picking up my phone and scanning through the messages on my home screen. i slid my phone into my back pocket, once again, and grabbed my drink, taking a look at myself in the mirror, and chugging a bit of my drink. i looked back at my reflection and laughed. what the fuck, sarah.
i laughed once again and opened the door, walking out of the small bathroom and making my way back down the unfamiliar hallway. suddenly, a soft chuckle caught my attention, causing me to look to my left and watch as jack pushed the one and only, madison beer, up against a wall, her legs wrapping around his waist as he did so. literally in the middle of a random guys hallway.
i shook my head and kept walking, finally finding my way back into the living room, seeing not as many people, but still a huge crowd of people on the dance floor.
i noticed clara dancing with ethan dolan, a guy she had befriended a few weeks back, a smile on her face as he would say thing into her ear, his hands staying firm on her waist. she looked happy.
then i watched as sophie made out with cameron dallas, one of los angeles's biggest bachelor's at the moment. well, i guess not anymore.
as i saw my best friends let go and have fun, something in my brain clicked and told me to join them. for months, i've been so tense and stressed about work and school, i really haven't just pushed it all out of my head and just had fun.
i took one last chug of my drink and walked over to my two wasted friends and joined them and their boys on the dance floor, jumping along with everyone to the beat of whatever the song was.
i looked up at the ceiling and looked at the large chandelier, watching as the strobe lights flashed against the glass.
taking another sip from my can, i noticed it was now empty, realizing that meant it was all about to hit me. oops.
as if on cue, a tingling feeling spread through my body, starting from my toes, stretching all the way up my legs, to my arms, to my neck, and eventually my head, covering my whole entire body. a smile sketched its way on my lips as my arms lifted themselves in the air and my body swayed along with the music. i felt good. i felt content.
occasionally, i would glance over at sophie and clara, them doing the same for me, and we would just laugh, knowing what we were doing was fucking stupid, but not stopping either way because we were having fun.
warmth spread through both of my hips as i danced. confused, i looked down seeing two
large hands on either side of me. i looked back in front of me, not bothering to see who it was, but just continued dancing.
the song switched from some upbeat song to bed by jacques, making all the girls scream and throw their hands up. i finally turned around in this guys arms and looked up to find shawn, already smirking down at me. "hey." he said, his arms making their way around my waist, pulling me closer to him. i smiled back up at him and turned around in his arms, moving my body to the beat of the music against him. thank god it wasn't very bright in the room so he didn't see me blushing. hopefully.
i looked around the room as we danced, watching as people did the exact same thing as us. i noticed paige came inside, standing next to some guy in the kitchen, looking like they were in a heated argument. i tried to see who it was she was talking to, but the flashing lights kept blinding me.
i know you wanna see, i know you wanna be
in my b.e.d.
grinding slowly
shawn's hands gripped my waist and turned me around so i was facing him. i looked up to see he was already looking down at me. right as he was about to open his mouth, i interrupted him. "do you wanna get out of here?", nodding his head in response.
i grabbed his hands and felt him intertwine our fingers as i led us into the kitchen, over to paige. i noticed the guy she was talking to was now gone, leaving her alone. "pix!" i slurred, a huge smile on my face as i pulled shawn behind me. "hey, what happened to not getting fucked up tonight?" she asked, turning off her phone and putting it on the counter next to her. "i changed my mind, i guess," i started. "listen, we're heading out. i'll see y'all later, don't wait up for me." a smile tugged at my lips as i watched her roll her eyes and nod.
a waved bye to her as shawn places his hand on the small of my back, guiding me throw the crowded house, and to the front door. he grabbed my hand once again, leading us to his car, which wasn't very far from the house.
he opened the passenger door for me, causing me to blush and smile. "thank you." i smiled, hi returning it. "of course."
the drive to his place was quick, just a few streets over from matt's place. now that i'm thinking about it, i never saw matt or any of the other old magcon guys a single time. am i seriously that fucked up? oh well.
the car went over a speed bump, causing my head to bop up from staring out the window, to looking in front of me as we pulled up to a house just about the same size as matthews's.
"you live here?" i asked, astonished at the size of the house. "yeah, but it's not just mine. i share it with a few friends, but their never home." he explained, putting the car in park and turning off the engine. he opened his door and climbed out, making his way over to my door after shutting his own. i unbuckled my seat belt and turned to climb out right as he opened my door. "you're so sweet." i mumbled, feeling his hand back to its spot on my back.
we made our way inside through the garage door, my eyes bulging as soon as i saw the inside of the house. it was so much nicer than matthews's place. "your house is so pretty." he laughed at my comment and thanked me.
i slowly followed behind him, my eyes examining almost every feature of the white walls and wide windows, looking out to the nice neighborhood around us.
next thing i knew, we were in the kitchen. the marble counter tops matched beautifully with the white stone floors. this was like my dream house.
i drunkenly hopped up onto the empty kitchen island and watched as shawn walked over to his fridge and opened it, his back to me. i noticed he was wearing a long sleeve navy blue t-shirt and black jeans, just like me. i watched him pick something from the fridge, making his back muscles flex as he did so.
he turned back around to me and handed me a bottle of water. i thanked him and opened it, taking a sip and feeling the cool liquid run down my throat. i screwed the lid back on and sat the bottle down next to me, letting both of my hands hold onto the edge of the counter on both sides of me.
shawn looked at me, a small smile on his lips as he came closer to me. "you have the prettiest blue eyes." he complimented. there was no stopping hiding the blush that made its way onto my face. i returned the smile. "thank you." i whispered, my voice feeling weak due to him still coming closer to me.
at this point, he had made his way completely in front of me. i watched as he softly put his hand on my cheek, his thumb rubbing the side of my face. "can i kiss you?" he sweetly asked, keeping his eyes glued to mine as he waited for my answer.
i quickly nodded, bringing my face closer to his just like he was doing, our lips finally coming in contact. my arms made their way around his neck, pulling him closer to me, him now standing in between my legs. his hands landed on my waist, trying to pull me closer to him, if that was even possible. my legs wrapped around him, his hands messing with the bottom of my shirt, eventually pulling the fabric over my head.
once it was off, he connected our lips again, his warm hands holding my waist once again. my hands tugged at the back of his shirt on his back, wanting it off. he did so, throwing his shirt behind me on the counter. "hold on tight." he said, grabbing the bottom of my thighs and lighting me up, my legs around his waist and my arms around his neck as he carried me up the stairs, going into his bedroom.
he gently dropped me on the bed, going over to the door and shutting and locking it. i watched as he made his way back over to the bed, crawling over and hovering over me. once his lips met mine again, my mind started stirring.
i know nothing about shawn. like literally nothing. yeah, he's attractive and so sweet, but i don't just want this to be a one time thing. other people don't have any problems with one night stands, but that's just not me. the last time i fucked someone was seven months ago and it was jack, when we were still together.
jack. i broke up with him, but he's still in my head. he's with madison, but he's still in my head. why is he in my head?
right as i felt shawn's hans reach for the button of my jeans, i jumped up. "wait." i said, detaching my lips from shawn's, watching as he sat up. "i can't do this." i mumbled, looking at him. "did i do something wrong?" he questioned, sitting next to me while waiting for my answer.
"no, you did nothing wrong at all. you were perfect. it's just, i-i haven't don't anything since..." i stopped, looking down at my hands. "since jack." he finished, already knowing about the whole situation. i slowly nodded, not daring to look at shawn right now.
"he still loves you, a lot." he mumbled. i looked up at him and shook my head "i don't love him anymore, though. he just keeps popping up. i'm tired of it." i replied, laying back on the bed and staring at the ceiling.
i felt the bed sip beside me, signaling that shawn was laying down next to me. he sighed, "i have a meeting tomorrow afternoon with my team. you're more than welcomed to stay tonight and just sleep, not anything else you're not comfortable with. i just want to get to know you." a smile spread over my lips. i rolled over on my side and faced him, his head turning to face me as well.
"i'll definitely take you up on that." i responded. i pulled the grey comforter up, covering me as shawn stood up and turned off the lights. he walked back over and climbed under the covers, pulling my body into him. his arm rested over my hip, my head laying on his warm, bare chest. "goodnight sarah." he whispered. i closed my eyes and smiled. "goodnight, shawn."