Ceilings are more interesting than one may think. At least they are when they're spinning and it looks like you're underwater.
Am I underwater?
Wait, no. I'm on the floor of Jessica's trailer in only my shirt and black lace thong. No wonder it feels so cold in here. I bet you can see how cold I am, too, since I'm not wearing a bra.
But I don't even care. I don't care about anything, not one thing. The only thing I feel is good. I feel good because I feel nothing. No guilt for smashing my mother's vase. No immense amount of pain from Michael leaving me too. I don't even feel any self hate for relapsing.
Instead of going too deep into my thoughts, I turn my head to the right and my eyes land on Jessica and Jeffrey. They're lying on the couch, Jeff on top of Jessie, as he examines her face closely and she runs her hands through his hair continuously.
Yeah, you two are fucking cute, we get it.
Jackson is also on the floor, lying the opposite direction of me but his head is right next to mine. When he first got here, he was pissed at me. But as the night has gone on, he's warmed up and now it's just like the old times.
"It's definitely not wet." Jeffrey states adamantly with a chuckle.
"Dude, how can water not be wet?" Jackson replies, turning his head to look at Jeffrey causing his nose to brush against my cheek.
"Because it's just not." Jessie shrugs as she plays with Jeff's bottom lip, seeming to be in a trance.
"So you're telling me that water, a substance that makes things wet, isn't wet itself?" Jax says, as he picks up a piece of my hair and starts to twirl it around his finger. I'm so out of it I barely even notice.
"Yes, Jackson." Jeff sighs as if he's speaking to a child. "Look at it this way; if you have a puddle of water and you pour more water on that water, does it make that water wet?"
"Jeffrey," Jackson suddenly sits up and leans his back against the chair he was previously sitting in. I then feel him slip his hands under my shoulders and gently pull me across the floor until my back is leaning against his chest. I'm shocked by the unexpected move from him, but I barely feel the emotion of shock so I just ignore it altogether and get comfortable in his hold. "That was the biggest load of bullshit you have ever spewed out of your mouth."
"How was that bullshit?" Jessica laughs lazily.
"Because of course if you pour water on water it's not going to get wetter. That's like saying if you set fire on fire that fire will become hotter." Jackson answers as if obvious.
The room goes silent. We all sit there, looking between each other, for a few seconds. Then Jessica, Jeffrey, and I all burst into laughter.
"What?!" Jackson exclaims while we're all still laughing.
"You're just making yourself look even more idiotically stupid, dumbass!" Jessie cackles as she runs her hands up and down her boyfriend's arms.
"Idiotically stupid?!" Jackson sits forward, causing my limp body to move with his. I lazily slump forward against my legs, but Jax pulls me back up when he sits back into the chair. "This is why you should've given college a chance, obviously high school wasn't enough for you."
"Says the one who thinks water is wet!" Jessie laugh-shouts back. "And you are idiotically stupid."
"No he's not," I chuckle, speaking for the first time in the last 30 minutes. "He's just not asking the right questions or saying the right things."
"She speaks!" Jeff exclaims, jokingly mocking me, making everyone laugh.
"Shut up, dummy!" Jessie smacks Jeffrey's arm lightly. "What do you mean, Pen?"
"I mean," I drawl annoyingly. "If you pour water on your shirt and that makes your shirt wet, how can the water not be wet itself? And if water isn't wet that technically makes it dry. How can you have dry water?"
Once again the room goes silent. Jeff and Jess look between each other before looking over to me. I raise an eyebrow and smirk smugly waiting for their response.
"Yeah, water's definitely wet." Jeffrey finally breaks the silence and nods his head multiple times.
"It's for sure wet." Jess agrees in a mumble then turns her attention back to Jeff's lips.
"Speaking of wet water, I think I need some." I slur, blinking a few times to clear my vision, before getting up and stumbling to the kitchen.
As I move around the kitchen, my limbs feel heavy. It's like I have to actually put in the effort and think about moving instead of just being able to do it. But at least breathing is still involuntary, because if I had to do it myself I would surely forget to breathe.
Even though being this high can be scary, I welcome the fear. I accept the fear because I get to feel numb. There's no pain, no remorse. And I'd take all the bad side effects any day to be blessed by the numbness.
"Hey," I hear from behind me as I'm filling my glass with water.
I turn the water off and swivel around to see Jeffrey with his hands behind him on the counter as he leans against it.
"Hey Jeffy," I giggle softly, taking a sip of my water.
Jeffrey rolls his eyes. "I hate that nickname." He groans.
"I know, that's why I gave it to you." I say in a 'duh' tone.
"Yeah, whatever." He laughs half-heartedly. I notice his eyes travel down to my stomach for a millisecond before connecting with my gaze again.
What the hell?
"You're acting weird." I point out the obvious.
"Listen," Jeff starts, taking a deep breath, making my nerves spike. "There are some things I've heard." He tells me, crossing his arms.
"Like?" I drawl, trying to appear unbothered by his demeanor.
"Like you were fucking stabbed!" He whisper yells.
My eyes widen in surprise. "How do you know that?"
"You forget that I have eyes and ears everywhere, Pen." He walks across the kitchen until he's right in front of me. He grabs the bottom hem of my shirt and lifts it up, revealing the bandage covering my stitches. He carefully pulls the dressing away so he can see the wound. "Holy shit, Penny! Did the guy fucking gut you?!"
I immediately bring my finger to my lips to gesture for him to quiet down. "Basically." I nod, answering his rhetorical question, before covering my injury back up. "Does Jess know?"
"No, of course not. If she did, she'd be in jail for murder." He answers, pulling my shirt down over my abdomen.
"Speaking of murder," I run my hand through my hair and exhale. "Do you remember a girl named Hannah Mayor?"
"The girl that was stabbed to death or whatever?" He asks nonchalantly as he picks a grape off the bunch in the fruit bowl.
I roll my eyes. "Yeah, 'stabbed to death or whatever'."
"She was a very cool girl. She used to hang around Jackson a lot if I remember correctly."
"You do remember correctly." I nod slowly, waiting for Jeffrey to remember the most important detail of the case.
"Wait," He starts and I can practically hear the wheels turning in his head. "Wasn't she found in..." His voice trails off before his eyes widen slightly in realization as he slowly turns to look at me.
"Parkview." I answer his thoughts.
"Penny, please tell me you didn't-"
"What the fuck are you two doing in here? Jesus, if I wasn't so secure in my relationship I'd think y'all were fucking!" Jessie suddenly stumbles into the kitchen slurring her words.
In a swift motion, Jeff grabs my shoulder and turns me around while pushing my back down. He then places his hands on my hips and thrusts his pelvis against my ass.
"What are you talking about? We are fucking." He thrusts again.
Jessie and I both laugh loudly, as I straighten up and shove Jeffrey playfully.
"Okay well, when you two are done, I'd like my boyfriend back. It's 4 in the morning and I'm spent. Can we go to sleep, Jeff?" Jessie asks, giving her best puppy dog eyes.
Jeff chuckles. "Of course, gorgeous. I'll be right there."
"Thanks bub. Oh, and Pen, you can crash on the couch. Jackson left already." Jess tells me as she pulls me into a hug.
"Okay, thanks. I probably shouldn't be driving anyway."
"I agree." She replies as she pulls away and starts walking to her bed in the back of the trailer. "See you in the morning, fuckface!" She chimes, then steps over the threshold to her bedroom.
Once Jessica is out of sight, I turn back to Jeffrey who's scowling down at me.
"Did you kill that Hannah girl?!" He whispers.
"What the hell? No! Of course not, I barely even knew her." I deny incredulously.
"Okay, there's obviously a lot you need to explain to me, so this conversation is not over. We'll talk tomorrow."
"Okay." I agree easily.
Jeffrey chastely kisses my cheek and steps around me. "Night."
"Night, Jeffy!" I call out to him before he steps into the bedroom.
"Oh shut the fuck up, Pennsylvania." He grunts jokingly, as I chuckle at the nickname he's given me, before he walks into the bedroom and closes the partition that separates the bedroom from the rest of the trailer.
After finishing my water, I put my glass in the sink then walk back into the living room. When I take a seat on the couch, my eyes are drawn to a line of white powder that was left on the coffee table. Before I even have a chance to talk myself out of it, I'm picking up the rolled-up dollar bill and snorting the crushed Xanax. I rub nose as I exhale and deflate into the couch.
I tilt my head back against the couch and set my gaze on the ceiling. I don't know how much time passes while I'm staring up, but soon enough blackness starts to appear in the corners of my vision. Instead of fearing it, I let the familiar feeling of blacking out take over as I'm engulfed in darkness.
******
"Pen?" I hear a voice echo as it calls me, but I don't see anyone.
I feel my body being shaken as if someone's trying to wake me but I don't feel like I'm asleep. Then I realize my eyes must be closed, so I open them only to see more darkness.
"Penny?" The voice calls again from the left of me, making me turn my head.
And there he is.
Michael is kneeling beside the couch looking at me with a worried look on his face. Darkness still surrounds us but there's a bright light beaming from behind him.
"Shit, you scared me for a second there." He breathes a sigh of relief and I can feel his breath on my face.
At this point, I know I'm still blacked out on the couch in Jessica's trailer. I know this is all just some sort of beautiful torture that my mind has conjured up. But seeing Michael in front of me, all I feel is guilt for shutting him out, whether this is real or not.
"I'm so sorry for everything. I shouldn't have done what I did." I lift my hand and run it down the side of Michael's face. I'm amazed when I feel his soft skin and smooth stubble under my fingertips.
"Oh don't worry about it, I'm over it. I think it needed to be done anyway." Michael shrugs as he grabs my hand and kisses my palm. "Do you want me to drive you home? I know you have your car but you shouldn't be driving."
Even though the pain of Michael leaving me has somewhat subsided because he's right in front of me, the guilt of breaking my mother's vase is still burning bright. Going home will just make it that much worse.
"No, I don't want to go home." I tell Michael as I sit up and run a hand through my unruly hair. Michael's stunning blue eyes stare into mine and all I want at this moment is to be alone with him. I sheepishly look down, in a rare act of shyness, and bite my bottom lip. "Can we go to your place?"
"My place?" He asks in disbelief.
"Yeah, you still have the place to yourself, don't you?" I'm pretty positive Kenzie is still on her birthday cruise, I couldn't have blacked out for that long. Plus this is all a dream, so it doesn't really matter anyway.
"Of course I do, I live al-"
"I know where you live, babe." I cut him off, chuckling slightly.
"Babe?" Michael smirks. "I like that." He leans forward and places his hands on my bare thighs. Slightly turning, he looks at the floor and grabs my jeans. "Here, you should get dressed, it's kinda cold outside."
"Ugh, I was hoping you wouldn't want me to be clothed." I jokingly roll my eyes, but nevertheless, take the jeans from Michael. I stand and slip them up my legs. Then I grab the light jacket I wore and pull it on.
"Okay, let's go 'babe'." Michael mocks, as he grabs my hand and leads me towards the light.
******
I have no idea how I got to Michael's place, but before I know it I'm stepping into his room. Although we're still engulfed in darkness, I just know we're in his bedroom.
I hear the door close behind me and I slowly turn around to face him. He stands out like a beam of light in all the darkness. I know this is a dream, but I don't know when I'll get the opportunity to be alone with him again, so I'm going to take full advantage of it.
I deliberately begin to saunter towards him as I remove my jacket and throw it onto the floor. I stop walking when I'm arm's length away from him, then pop the button of my jeans.
"Penny," Michael breathes, watching my every move, as I strip out of my pants and disregard them as well leaving me in only my shirt and black thong. I stare at him as his eyes travel down my body, lingering on my braless chest. "I don't know if-"
I take a swift step forward and press a finger to his lips. "Shhh, stop worrying. I want this." I place my hands on his chest and take another stride towards him, our bodies now inches apart. "I want you."
"Are you sure?" He questions hesitantly, but I can see it in his eyes. He wants this too.
I abruptly pull my shirt over my head, revealing my bare chest to Michael. His eyes widen slightly and I note how his adam's apple bobs.
"Yes, I'm sure-" I barely get my words out before Michael's mouth is on mine as he kisses me ardently.
Is water wet, yes or no?! I don't care what the scientists say, tell me what you think!
What do you think about this chapter?
Is Jackson really idiotically stupid??😂😂
Do you love Jeffrey? Because I love Jeffrey!
What do you think of Penny's dream while being blacked out? Is it a sign? Foreshadowing? Is it even a dream?
Thank you guys so much for reading this chapter! Please make sure you vote if you liked it. And share the story with your friends!!
Kisses,
-K