13.
As soon as I hear those words, I found it more difficult to breathe.
"I-I... I need to go. And you need to go, too." I bursted.
"You're always pushing me away." He sounded hurt.
"No. M-May... Kailangan lang talaga akong gawin para kay Laishah. Her birthday is coming, it needs to be perfect." This is the perfect alibi because I need to get out of here because I can't breathe. Even if I'm dreaming of him since the day we met at The Commander and now that he finally says he likes me, I'm still not prepared. I feel like a mess!
"Then let me drive you."
"You have work."
"Work can wait. Gusto pa kitang makasama."
Gusto rin kitang makasama pero kailangan ko munang huminga. Hindi ko kinakaya ang mga sinasabi mo.
"Can I drive instead?"
"Fuck, no. I don't want to get a heart attack." And I can't help but laughed at his immediate reaction as soon as he heard my intention to drive.
I raised my hands as a sign of giving up.
"Where to go, Miss?"
"Let's go back to Revel."
"That's where you plan on celebrating her birthday?..." I nodded as an answer to his question.
"... Okay, then. But you're the boss. Why don't you just assign someone to do this for you?"
"It's okay. Given what happened recently, my parents forced me to take a leave for one week. I have the time to do it so, I'll do the work."
"What happened?" Kade asked while frowning.
Oo nga pala, hindi niya alam yung nangyari recently. Kung paano ako hinarass ni Daniel at kung paano ko rin siya tinapunan ng mainit na kape. He was silent after telling him about that horrible day.
"So much had happened with that couple of days that I'm out of your life. I'll make sure that you're always safe with me."
It feels nice that he wants to protect me. "Let's... Let's not talk about it. I really don't want to remember any of it because it doesn't help me forget all the things that he said to me." I hope I just have the option to delete those words in my head. So that I will not think about it, so that it will not hurt me anymore.
"May pupuntahan pa tayo?" He asked after that easy talk I had with the General Manager of the club.
I shake my head after putting my seat belt on.
"Are you okay? Are you tired or, you just don't want me here with you?"
I looked at him, frowning. "What? I'm fine... you have work and I'm letting you come here with me to plan for Laishah's birthday. Ang laking abala na nun. I'm sorry."
"You don't have to say sorry, Babe. I want to come along... I see how important she is to you."
Oh, please... Here you are again, calling me that endearment. Hindi na naman ako makahinga. Naging okay na ako kanina nung nag-iba yung topic namin pero heto na naman ako.
"She deserves it... she's a very hardworking girl willing to do everything for her family."
He smiled before starting the engine. "Let's get you home, then. Para makapagpahinga ka na rin. And I can see you tomorrow, right?"
"I-I'm not sure."
He immediately turned off the car's engine. "Why? I'm planning to visit you at your house tomorrow."
Napalunok ako. I know my day will be perfect if I will see him tomorrow. I always want to see him and spend time with him. But I can't just ignore the fact that he has Brielle and that makes it ruin everything.
"I'm sorry... I-I'm still not sure of what you're doing. I'm still not sure if you're being honest with what you've said earlier."
"Baby, what are you saying?"
"Don't call me that, please. I said that you'll stop, right? I made it clear that you can stop pretending... I know... I know that there's something going on between Brielle and you. That was just yesterday, Kade. How she acts around you and how she looks at you, it's so obvious she still has feelings for you kung totoo mang ex mo na siya."
"Kaesley, she's my ex and it means that we're done. We went out yesterday as friends together with Ethan and Maddie. Problema na niya yun kung may feelings pa siya sakin. Pero ako... Ikaw na yung gusto ko."
I look down because I can't handle the way he's looking at me.
"You're just too soon, Kade. It's all too soon I'm finding hard to believe it." I would just like to be honest to him. I know I want him, but if there's still unfinished business between them, this is the perfect time for me to stop.
"I understand, I know you're scared and I'll take it slow. I'm not rushing anything, Baby. I'll patiently wait until you can trust me already. But I swear, Brielle and I were over. That was already years ago."
"I'm sorry I ruined the mood. I know I don't have the right to feel this way... I shouldn't have agreed with you tagging along with me."
He cupped my chin and made me meet his gaze. That simple touch of him sends a thousand bolts to my whole body it made me weak.
"You keep on saying sorry and you don't have to. I understand how you feel and if it's too soon for you, then I'll just wait. I will wait patiently for you, Kaesley. I just wanted to check on you, and be with you."
He has all the right words to say just to make me smile.
"Thank you." It's almost a whisper.
"I wanted to see you tomorrow but I'll wait for your text. Or call. For now, let me take you home." He slightly pressed my chin before letting it go and focused on the road after he restarted the engine.
~~~~
Thinking of texting him right away after he dropped me off made it hard for me to sleep. Good thing I ended up putting down my phone and told myself that I should take time processing all my emotions specially when it comes to Kade even if I'm craving to be with him all the time. I don't want to be still confusing the next time we'll see each other. It's not even past 24 hours and I'm already missing him but I need the space so that I can clearly think... and breathe.
I also wanted to focus my attention to my parents who's about to start their week long vacation.
"We'll be in a one week vacation but you can still communicate with me. You know what you have to do in case anything happens." Seryoso namang nakikinig sila Marco at yung isa pang head ng security habang nagbibilin si Dad sa kanila.
"I really want to see you on board, guys. Let me go to the airport, Mom."
"You don't have to. We have security who will come with us so no need to worry. Isang linggo lang yun. I want you to have a lot of rest while you're here, okay? Dapat walang stress na allowed."
Tumango ako. "Yes, I will. But I'll be throwing a party for Laish on Thursday. I'll send pics."
Mom give me a wide smile and hugged me tightly. "We'll get going. Si Lolo Kris mo, please look after him. Nagpaalam na kami kanina sa kanya. Nagpapahinga kasi ngayon kaya, hindi na namin iistorbohin."
Humarap na sa akin si Dad pagkatapos kausapin ang mga security team. "Behave and take a break. I'll expect that I won't receive reports from them telling me that you're missing in the middle of the night. Baka makauwi kami ng 'di oras niyan." Sabay ngisi sa akin.
Sinimangutan ko siya. "If I'll decide to drink again, it will be at home now. Happy?" And we all laughed.
Both of them hugged me tightly. "I'll see you guys after a week. Please enjoy this vacation. I know you badly need this. Specially Dad."
"Yea, I really need more romantic nights with your Mom. Pwede pa namang humabol ng Junior, right?" At nakita ko kung paano niya sinikmuraan si Daddy na napaaray.
"Babe!"
"Sasama ba ako sa 'yo o dito na lang ako?"
"Of course sasama ka! Hindi pwedeng hindi! God, I really need some alone time with you." And he planted a kiss on her temple.
"You should go now. Dad, magbehave ka kay Mommy. Your eyes are only for her, okay?"
"Of course, princess. All eyes are only for her." He proudly says, enough for everyone in the living room to hear.
Sana makahanap din ako ng katulad ni Dad one day, masungit man at palaging may mood swing, pero yung pagmamahal niya sa pamilya lalo na kay Mommy, walang kapantay. I can see how Mom is so happy being inlove with him.
And it's pretty annoying when I'm getting dreamy here but I don't even have a boyfriend! Hah! And what to do now? All set na rin naman yung birthday party ni Laishah except for making a phone call to her family because I wanted them to be there on Thursday. That's 2 days from now and I still have time.
But I think I know where to go now.
~~~~
"Kakaalis lang ng Mommy at Daddy niyo, tapos aalis kayo? Saan na naman tayo pupunta?" Sabi ni Marco ng kausapin ko.
"Why? Did Dad tell you that I'm not allowed to go out?"
"Hindi naman. Pero binilinan niya kami na magpahinga ka. "
"Well, I'll be taking some rest that's why we have to go. But we'll head first to the mall. I need to buy something for Laish. I remembered she wants to buy this for so long but she doesn't have the funds. So, first thing first, the mall."
"And then what's next?"
"The second one is a secret. I'll be driving going there. And you shouldn't be telling this to my parents. The place... And my driving skills."
He let out a deep sigh which made me laughed. "Bakit parang nai-stress ka?"
"Bakit kailangan mo pang i-sikreto yung lugar na yon? At hindi ka pwedeng magdrive. Masyadong prone sa aksidente yung driving skill mo. I can't let you drive."
Napataas ako ng kilay. Aba! "So, sino na pala ang masusunod? Yung bodyguards?"
"We're here for your safety. And if it threatens your safety, I can't allow it."
"I'm taking a break and this is how I plan on taking a break and breathe from what happened. I know you guys freaked out and I can ride my car."
"Mas lalong hindi pwede yon. Malalagot kami sa Daddy niyo, Ma'am."
"He will not know everything of this if no one will tell him. You just have to agree with me. Sagot ko naman kayo."
Another deep sigh and he crossed his arms now while looking at me. Napakaseryoso nitong tao na 'to, hindi man lang ngumingiti!
"I'll just change!" Bago pa siya makaangal, mabilis na akong naglakad papuntang hagdan para magbihis.
"Ma'am! Hindi nga po pwede." Narinig ko pa yung sinabi niya pero hindi ko na siya sinagot.
Ano'ng hindi pwede? Walang hindi pwede.
I opted out for a tank top that was layered by a white blazer and partnered it with shorts and ankle boots.
"Aalis tayo?" Takang tanong ni Jaro nang makababa na ako ng living room.
"Yes. We're going to the mall, and to my safe haven."
Napatingin si Jaro kay Marco na hindi nagsasalita at natingnan lang ako.
"Reported na ba 'to kay Sir?" Si Lucas.
"Wait. I was with you earlier when Dad did some talk to you guys. This is not something that's worth to be reported. It's no big deal. I can't just stay in the house for a week. At kaya nga kayo hinire ni Dad, 'di ba? To keep me safe wherever I go?" I stated.
Natahimik yung apat. Pero tama naman yung sinabi ko, wala namang nabanggit si Daddy kanina na hindi ako pwedeng umalis. Magbehave lang daw ako. Which I can definitely do while they're out. Is it their rule not to let me go out?
"Wala namang problema kung sa mall lang." Sabi ni Mike.
Napangiti ako. Hindi naman pala mahirap kausap ang mga ito. Wala akong magiging problema.
"So... Keys?" Tanong ko kay Marco sabay lahad ng kamay.
Pero umiling siya. "I'll agree with you going out except for letting you drive. We can't let you drive again."
Napasimangot ako. I guess I'll concede for now as long as I'll be at The Commander later. I'll definitely be happy. Wala akong nagawa sa gusto ni Marco kaya't tahimik na lang akong sumunod sa kanila ng lumabas na sila. It's way better than not allowing me to go out.
Sobrang tahimik ng mga boys sa buong byahe namin papuntang mall. Wala man lang nagsasalita. Badtrip ba sila sa akin? Nalingon ko si Marco na katabi ko. Nakatingin siya sa bintana ng kotse. Si Jaro naman, nakakunot ang noo. Si Mike ang nagdadrive at katabi niya si Lucas sa harapan.
"Ma'am okay lang po ba kayo? Gusto niyo po bang lumipat pa tayo sa ibang mall?" Nagulat ako sa tanong ni Mike. Lahat sila, nakatingin sa akin.
Did I space out? Was that long? I can't believe myself. Talagang natutulala ako kapag iniisip ko si Kade. Wala kasi siyang paramdam kahit pa na sinabi niya maghihintay siya ng text or tawag galing sakin. Hindi ba talaga siya magi-initiate?
Shit, ang gulo gulo ko na! Ako yung gusto ng space, 'di ba?
"No. It's fine. Let's go inside so that we can move on to our next destination. I'll just buy the gift for Laish and we'll immediately leave." Tumango naman silang apat without additional comments. I'm the last to go out from the car and they all escort me going inside the mall.
"Let's go now?"
"Hindi ka ba nagugutom, Ma'am? Baka gusto mo munang maglunch." Alok ni Marco. Napaka-thoughtful naman pala nitong si Marco. Akala ko, puro pagsusungit lang ang alam.
"Kaya nga po. Baka gutom na kayo. Pwede naman siguro dito sa mall, or kahit saan gusto mong kumain." Lucas agreed.
"It's okay, guys. Dun na lang tayo maglunch sa The Commander. Masarap naman yung food na ino-offer ng nearby resto dun so dun na lang. Thanks for reminding me, though. I'm so excited I don't even feel hungry."
I saw the confusion on their faces.
"Saan na ba next stop natin, Ma'am?" Tanong ni Jaro.
"The Commander." I answered.
"Ano'ng gagawin natin dun?" Si Marco na nakakunot na ang noo.
Wait, he knows it? But why do I have to be surprised? It's one of the popular shooting ranges in the country.
"To shoot?"
"Yun ba yung sinasabi mong safe haven mo? Shooting range?" With the tone of his voice, Mike is obviously surprised.
I nod without any hesitation. "And it's a secret. My parents do not know this and I expect that no one from you will tell it to them, okay?"
But no one answered. They just looked at me with disbelief.
Yes, I know I'm weird. But it makes me happy so it's completely fine.
"Wow! First, your driving skill. Now, you're into shooting." Si Jaro.
Napangiti ako. "So, can we go now?"
Nakita ko yung pag-iling ni Marco pero tumahimik na siya. Nagpatiuna na sila Mike at Lucas na sinundan namin. Bahala sila dyan! Basta I'll shoot because it makes me happy.
~~~
Naging mahigpit ang yakap ni Lolo Ninong ng magkita kami. "I so missed you! You're still handsome. Wait! More handsome than the last time I saw you!"
Natawa si Lolo Ninong. " Bakit ba lagi mo akong binobola kapag dumadating ka dito? Eh hindi naman kita pinapagbayad?" And his remark made me laugh.
"It feels like ages since the last time I've been here I don't know if I can still handle the gun like before." Was it 3 weeks since the last time I went here? 2 weeks? Ah! I don't know! Basta matagal na. I want to be here everyday if only I have the choice.
"You're very good at this so I'm sure you will not forget about it that easily." And Lolo Ninong winks at me.
"At ako naman ngayon ang binobola mo?" Saka ulit kami nagtawanan.
"And who do we have here?" Tinitingnan niya yung apat na nasa likuran ko.
Nalingon ko sila na nakatingin lang sakin.
"They're my bodyguards that Dad chose for me."
Agad kumunot ang noo ni Lolo. "Bodyguards? Why? Are you and you're family in danger?"
"Not really. But Dad overreacted so that's why they're here. Kaya ko naman sana pero wala silang tiwala sakin."
"Hindi naman sa ganon, Kaye. Alam kong gusto ka lang protektahan ng parents mo. Marami ka palang ikukwento sa akin. Walang nababanggit ang Mommy mo sa akin. Sana pala, nagsabi na lang si Maiah sa akin. Alam naman niyang marami akong mairerekomenda."
"Dad decided it immediately. But he promised me that it's only for a moth so, I should be okay after that. Everything should be back to normal."
"I know your Dad. I know that she only wants to protect his family. Specially you. And don't worry, whatever that had happened, I'm sure everything will be okay, Kaye. So for now, it's best if you'll just follow whatever they told you to do."
I nod in approval. "I know that, Lolo Ninong. And don't worry, I'm being a good girl by following their orders. Except this." And I made a big smile on my face knowing that after weeks of wanting to go here, I'm finally at my safe haven and will be able to shoot again. Ah... The feeling is already satisfying even if I'm not yet holding a shotgun.
"Kinausap mo na ba sila? Baka magsumbong yang mga yan. Lagot ka kay Kyle!" Sabay tawa ni Lolo Ninong.
"Yes po! I trust them and I'm pretty sure, they will not break that trust."
"So are you going to Aldrich or would you like me to prepare you a lunch first? Mukhang hindi ka pa nagtatanghalian. Ayokong nagugutom ka."
"I know you're busy. We'll just eat sa resto and then I'll go straight kay Aldrich. Did you eat already?" Lolo Ninong nodded.
Nagpaalam na muna ako sa kanya para pumunta sa resto inside the shooting range to eat something before I drain my energy with the shotgun and its bullets.
Ilang beses kong inalok sila Marco para sabayan akong kumain pero ilang beses din nila akong tinanggihan. Ang awkward lang kasi may nanonood sa akin habang kumakain although they're watching me from behind but still, I find it uncomfortable. Mabuti na lang at kaunti lang ang kumakain doon. At siguro, nahalata ni Marco yung pagiging conscious ko kaya nagpaalam sila na sa labas na lang maghihintay but still assure me that the area will still be safe while I'm eating and I'm relieved with his idea.
Before I leave after eating, I ordered four plates for the boys which are for their lunch just to make sure they'll not skip it while we're here and not giving any chance of saying no since the food is almost ready by now. Nung una, ayaw pa nilang pumasok pero napilitan na rin nung sinabihan ni Marco.
Palabas na ako ng resto para bumalik sana sa shooting range ng hilahin ni Marco ang braso ko. "Ma'am, wait lang. Hindi pwedeng mag-isa kang babalik."
"But you'll eat. And it's only walking distance so I'm fine."
"Sasama na ako sa 'yo. Sila na lang muna. Hindi pwedeng mag-isa ka lang."
"It's safe here, Marco. Wala kang dapat ipag-alala."
Napakaseryoso na naman ng mukha niya. "Bodyguard mo kami. Huwag ka nang makipagtalo. Tara na."
"But how about your food?"
"Mamaya na lang pagtapos nila."
Hindi na ako nakipagtalo. Para kasi 'tong si Daddy, hindi rin nagpapatalo. Bahala nga siya. Mukhang hindi pa naman siya gutom. Tuluyan na kaming lumabas ng restaurant at naglakad ng kaunti papunta sa mismong shooting range.
I saw Aldrich grinning at me big time as I approach him.
"Hey! Long time, Kaye! How are you?!" Sabay yakap sakin.
"Wala sila Dad, nasa Palawan. Kaya medyo nakalabas." At sabay kaming nagtawanan.
"Baby girl na baby girl, ah!... Wait. Is that Marco?" Nalingon ko yung tinitingnan ni Aldrich. Si Marco na papalapit sa amin habang hawak ang phone niya. Wala pala siya sa likuran ko at nahuli?
"You know him?" And the next thing I know, they're grinning at each other now. Ayun, marunong naman pala siyang ngumiti. And in fairness, mas lalo siyang gumwapo nung nakangiti.
"Bakit kasama mo si Kaye?" Tanong ni Aldrich sa kanya.
"One of her bodyguards." Sabi ni Marco tapos humarap sa akin. "I'm sorry, may kailangan kasi akong tawagan kaya medyo nahuli."
"It's okay. But how did you know each other?"
"He's also one of our VIP clients here. Magaling din sa shotgun. And my cousin." Aldrich stated.
"Oh, really?! That's nice! You can join me."
But he strongly shook his head that made Aldrich laughed. "I can't. I'm not allowed. I'll just watch you from here."
"You can, of course. It's on me. And I want to see your skills as well. Kung totoo bang magaling ka talaga sa shooting. Mas nakakaexcite yun!"
"Hindi nga pwede."
Nakakainis! Puro hindi pwede ang sinasabi niya. Tiningnan ko si Aldrich baka sakaling may magawa pero natawa lang 'to. "Sorry, Kaye. He's one shy man. Maybe next time."
Okay, fine. Hindi na ako magpipilit kung ayaw niya talaga. Hinubad ko yung blazer at binigay kay Marco. "Would you mind holding then?"
Gusto kong matawa sa reaksyon niya na para pang nagulat pero tinanggap rin naman niya yung blazer ko.
After putting on safety glasses and earmuffs, Aldrich handed me my favorite A-10 American shotgun and we started to walk towards my shooting area.
"Any update with the purchase so far?" Matagal ko na siyang natanong tungkol sa pagpurchase ng shotgun legally which I badly want but he's too hesitant to give me any information. Noon ko pa gustong magkaroon ng shotgun pero kahit si Lolo Ninong ay ayaw.
"Kaye, you know that it's not easy. Papagalitan ako ni Boss kapag nalaman niya. And why do you have to own a shotgun? It's not safe for you!" And there's the same horrified look on his face.
"I just want to own one, what's wrong with that? It's not like I want to be a terrorist or whatever you're thinking. And maybe I can use it in the future. Malay mo, 'di ba? And c'mon, you can trust me, Aldrich. You know my skills."
"I know you of course. Pero hindi kasi ganon kadali yon. Ayokong irisk ang safety mo. Iba na lang ipagawa mo sa akin. I'm sorry, but it's still a no."
Nakakainis! Puro no ang sagot.
"Uso ba yung word na NO Sa family niyo?"
He's confused but he laughed later on when he get what I'm saying.
"Trust me, I just want to make you safe."
Magpinsan nga talaga sila ni Marco. Napabuntong hininga na lang ako kasi hindi ko na siya mapilit.
"You enjoy today, Kaye. Marco is just a few meters away but he's watching you. I'll leave you for now, okay?"
"Thanks. I'll definitely enjoy this moment because it's so rare." And I tightened my grip on the gun.
Aldrich smiled at me before walking away but he halted when I called his name. I just can't help it. I need to ask.
"Do you know someone who's name is Kade? Did he go here recently? He's also listed as VIP."
He frowned. "Kade?" He doesn't know him then?
Tumango ako. "Yea. Tall guy with a good body build. Fair skin."
Tumawa si Aldrich.
"Bakit? Ano'ng nakakatawa?"
"It sounds like you're describing your crush. I'll look at it later then I'll get back to you once you're done."
Nakuha pa akong asarin. Tch! Tumango na lang ako at mabilis na tumalikod. Medyo nakakahiya. Dapat pala hindi na ako nagtanong.
The thought of Kade feels like a heavy baggage I immediately fire a bullet to the target board with only one hand.