I started senior year with no intentions of being in a relationship but damn do I get lonely at times.
I started talking to this boy name R. He's a dark chocolate, tall, and can dress. It's just a school relationship type thing. But I usually tend to involve myself in others way too much, cause I care. ( The Virgo in me).
He gave me ain't shit nigga vibes. Like he knew he was the shit and could get any chick he wanted. But forreal forreal, he's a softy that likes to express how he feels out of nowhere (cancer).
I liked having him cause all eyes were on him and he didn't show interest in the slightest bit. But I got tired of how he acted:
- leaving school
- involving himself in other people's beef.
It was childish.
NOTE: WHEN YOU KNOW WHAT TYPE OF NIGGA YOU WANT, YOU DO NOT SETTLE FOR LESS - AUTHOR.
I chalked him a couple times and ended up right back in his arms. I never was the type to leave people but people always left me. Lol (not in my feelings)
It got to the point where I'd get emotional if I seen him standing with a girl. If I heard he talked to somebody i'd text him like is this true? And he wouldnt be mad or mean to me. I was and still am TOXIC.
For the right reasons.
Im emotionally unstable.
Not my fault.
I broke it off with him one last time and found myself being infatuated with a boy( name him babyface) from a hang out spot everybody be at during the day.
1. He doesn't go to school.
2. Traps (sells weed)
But goddamn is babyface adorable.
Speaking to him and making full eye contact is like zoning out everybody else in our area and just being lost into his eyes. I craved his touch without even being touched by him. That was the weird part.
Back story on him.
He was already following me on instagram but I barely seen him in my views until.
I seen his bitch at the time, comment "daddy" under his post but then it got deleted. Im like ok BET. My friend has this hotel party. All these niggas we know arrive first it had to been like 6 females to 14 niggas. At the last hour bitches came but lets rewind.
This hotel party happened BEFORE he began shooting his shot at the hang out area.
I was drunk and high off gas yaheard.
Everything was starting to look good, including him. He had a baby face. Im liking his neck tats. He smell good. He wasn't paying me any mind but he had my undivided attention. Im talkin my shit to him here and there. He talkin about his tats. Then he sits on top of the toilet and i sit on the seat. Im like my butt not comfortable and he suggests that I sit on his lap. I said no thank you lol.
That hotel party consisted of me acting a fool, being goofy and smacking all the bitches asses that was twerking. I at the moment had R in my corner so I couldn't be messy and act a real fool in that bitch. I had the shortest shorts on that cupped my ass to the fullest extent.
He attempted to grab me again but I played it cool like I ain feel his finger tips brush against my arm.
We got kicked out though to end that part.
My close friend that threw the hotel party got on live, you know to talk about what happened.
And i peeped the girl that previously was dealing with him joined the live cause she use to be close with the friend that threw the party(keep up).
I already KNEW who he was and played it like I didn't.
Im like "who was the nigga with the black shirt, babyface and neck tats?"
They tryna figure it out,
My friend already know who im talkin' about she just not tryna say it his name but says it anyway. Im like "yea baby face him i was plotting heavy" , i go on to tell how he asked me to sit on his lap. His bitch sending laughing emojis.
My very close friend is on the live as well she like i was plotting too lol. My fuckin boy.
So the girl texts me and asks me questions. she tryna get my regular page to see what I look like to make herself feel better( she recently seen what I look like and i made her self esteem go down..) but I'm like naw. Cause fuck we boutta conversate for? I dont wanna be ya friend.
She like ard.
Then babyface comes at me again in the hang out place and im like fuck it, he keep coming and i wanna know how this works out. Cause out of all niggas at the hang out place, I don't know why I was interested in him.
He hugging on me, somewhat talking, and following me everywhere and i like it. It felt weird how good i felt in his arms.
We started texting n' shit like dat. He wasnt talking freaky we had a normal conversation, and he'd text Goodmorning every mf morning. Then friday came.
Im the type where ya effort and my interest gon get me to come hang out with you. If its not ya effort and im interested im not coming. If its my interest and no effort, im a dumb bitch for looks.
Babyface tell me he getting a haircut. Im like yea, now i wanna see him. I was gassing him like yea ima leave early to see you cause you hopped in ya prime.
I get onna bus to him. He like, he getting a tattoo on his neck and asks if i wanna come with him. YALL my heart was full of joy. We just hanging out here and there. he come to me and mess with me. We had to catch the bus to his house first to get they money. There was a fight that was suppose to happen and I was giving my acquaintance the drop on who was all there, before I left. he wasn't letting me fight with them so that was the only choice I had.
We get on the bus, he put his arm around my shoulders and we just relax.
We get to his house, chill, then he gets weed for us to smoke in an abandoned van not too far from his house. It was raining so the mood was set. When I like somebody I don't care where we are, as long as Im comfortable and not drenched.
We talking and goofing it up. He put his hand under my jacket and that mf was cold. I was definitely bitching. And then he rests his hand on my boob under everything i got on and I don't feel comfortable at first cause of how cold they were but I loosen up and just let them be there.
"What if his hands are too cold🥺?" My thoughts exactly.
We get kicked out the van before anything and it was fastest hand motion to get his hands from my boobs. but i don't think he got in trouble.
So then we walk to this pizzeria. He like u hungry,
Me: nope I'm fine.
He like "well im getting pizza so that means YOU'RE getting pizza."
So i just shut up from there.
We get there and he's fried out his mind and im just watching him react off his high. He moving around, cant stay still. We eat our pizza but he stands up to eat it and faces away from me slightly (which was odd) then he lets me take my time to eat mines. I tell him sit cause he too fried to be standing up, tweaking.
We go to the store before going in his house. He gets like two things. I only remember him getting beef sticks and giving me one. I was the happiest bitch in the world following after him to his house while chewing on the beefy.
So we get comfortable. He puts us under two blankets but it was still cold in that bitch due to his room being in the basement
-Now is it true niggas that live in they momma basement got the best dick???
Cause im tryn see sumn.
BAM, We cuddled up im fried out my mind, all up under him he spooning me n shit while nightmare on elm street playing. This where the heated part comes ya'll swear to god.
He wakes me up sorta, and turns me to him. He start kissing me LMAOOO now.. i was all for it.
Then his hand go down to my tights im like woah woah, he like whatchu mean i cant touch it. I honestly forgot what was said between us cause he slipped his hand down there and i lost my train of thought.
I was wet ashit.
On my momma.
He literally rubbing on the right spot and i just can't wait to cum on his finger, good lord. Then he inserts his middle finger and i just lose myself at that point LMAOOOO. He just aggressive, it hurts a lil but i can't help BUT moan.
So he slip his finger out. At that point he was tryna fuck. He said my shit was water. Im like uh no i had to say no like 4 times for him to back off. This pussy not rated for all. Cause once i give it up he gon be pressing me for more and im not ready for allat.
Plus my first time being with him and im giving pussy up? Now i dont have nothing against doing so but niggas run they mouth and he can't be thinking im easy when I just wanna fuck and vibe.
Then he gets trolley horses in both his legs. Im feelin super bad but fuck it.
We on our way to the tattoo appointment. He got long ass legs so he walkin fast ashit. He gets mad at me cause im not keeping up. Mind u its raining and night time. So them cars was not something i was looking forward to.
Im bout scared ashell to cross when a car come cause I seen my old friend get hit by a car and it traumatized me mentally. He puts two and two together that I'm scared of cars and starts babying me.
-Skips to him getting his neck tat-
he's in the process of getting it done. He bitching while laying down. His foot fidgeting while his hands are in his pants.
Ya'll this boy was shirtless.
I was turned the fuck on.
He got his hands in his sweatpants YALL.. and im just watching him touch himself. I was dazed the fuck out. I'm sweating,biting my lip, breathing slow.
I could not. Handle. What I. Was looking @
End of that story cause he was tryn talk to his previous bitch & gon' lie to me about how that all went down. Niggas be lying, i be lying. He not my nigga he could do what he want.
But i caught feelings. So im assed out.