"Alarm! Alarm! Hold the bridge, port side."
"Evasive maneuvers!"
"Descending to two hundred metres."
"We're under attack!"
"Two ten!"
"Bring her up! Bring her up!"
"It's no good, sir!" the TARDIS materialises and the Doctor steps out.
"Viva Las Vegas!" the boat shudders and he goes flying across the compartment along with Clara, in an evening dress and I crash into the Doctor, everyone is soaking wet.
"Strangers on the bridge!"
"Who the hell are you?"
"Not Vegas, then," Clara says.
"No. No, this is much better" the Doctor says.
"A sinking submarine?" Clara asks.
"A sinking Soviet submarine!"
"Break outside arms. Restrain them!"
"Four-ten. Four twenty. Turbines still not responding!"
"They've got to" the Doctor has his sonic screwdriver out.
"Ah! Sideways momentum. You've still got sideways momentum!" the Doctor shouts.
"What?"
"Your propellers work independently of the main turbines. You can't stop her going down but you can maneuver the sub laterally. Do it!" I shout.
"Get these people off the bridge now!"
"Just listen to them, for god's sake!" Clara shouts.
"Geographical anomaly to starboard. Probably an underwater ridge" the Doctor says.
"How do you know this?"
"Look, we have just a chance to stop the descent if we settle on it. Do it!..." I shout.
"Six hundred metres. Sir, six ten!"
"...Or this thing is going to implode!" I shout.
"Lateral thrust to starboard, all propellers."
"Sir?"
"Now!"
"You're going to let these two give the orders?"
"Lateral thrust!"
"Aye, sir! Six sixty, six eighty" we hit the ridge just in time "descent arrested at seven hundred metres."
"It seems we owe you our lives, whoever you two are."
"We'll hold you to that. Might come in handy" the Doctor says.
"Search them. Yes, I know. Those two are women. Now search them!"
"Are we going to be ok?" Clara asks.
"Oh, yes" the Doctor nods.
"Is that a lie?"
"Possibly. Very dangerous time, Clara. East and West standing on the brink of nuclear oblivion" I say, the Doctor has a Barbie doll in a pocket. And a ball of string "lots of itchy fingers on the button."
"Isn't it always like that?"
"Sort of, but there are flashpoints and this is one. Hair, shoulder pads, nukes. It's the Eighties. Everything's bigger. I would like a receipt, please" the Doctor says, the sonic screwdrivers are handed to the Captain.
"What are these?" the submarine shakes, and Clara loses her footing.
"Clara!" I shout.
"Seer!"
"Clara!" I also fall after Clara.
"Seer! Clara!" the Doctor shouts, the TARDIS dematerialises.
"No! No, no, no, no, no, no. No, not now!" Clara falls over into the foot of water on the control room floor, and sees the sonic screwdrivers there, a hand grabs her arm pulling her upwards, she turns her head slightly to see me. Then she starts to drift in and out. Later, someone has put a uniform jacket on Clara. The Doctor is being interrogated, I am in front of Clara with my back turned.
"Captain, we didn't attack your ship. Now if we can get the pumps working, we can get her afloat" the Doctor says.
"Yeah, we'll last till the rescue ship comes."
"If it comes" I reply.
"Oh, the sinking is just a coincidence, is it? Who are you?" Clara wakes and stands.
"All right, Captain, all right. You know what? Just this once, no dissembling, no psychic paper, no pretending to be an Earth Ambassador. Doctor. Me, Seer and Clara are time travellers."
"Clara, you ok?" I ask.
"Think so." Clara hangs onto my arm.
"Time travellers?" the Captain asks.
"We arrived here out of thin air. You just saw it happen" I say.
"I didn't," another man says.
"Your problem, mate, not mine," the Doctor says.
"We were sinking," Clara says.
"Yes" I reply.
"What happened?"
"We sank."
"No, what happened to the TARDIS, I mean."
"Never mind that" I say shaking my head.
"Listen. Captain, breath's precious down here. Let's not waste it, eh?" the Doctor says.
"You're right. Maybe I can save a little oxygen by having you three shot!" the Captain says.
"What does it matter how we arrived? The important thing is to get..." something hisses very loudly "out" Clara says.
"Exactly! Number one priority, not suffocating" the Doctor says, the Captain spots what everyone else is staring at, and releases the Doctor.
"Eh? Ah. Oh, thank you. Finally seeing sense. Now, what sort of state is the sub in?" the Doctor asks, the alien is directly behind the Doctor.
"Doctor" Clara says.
"What about the radio? Can we send a..."
"Doctor!" I shout.
"What!" the alien hisses again "what is that? Gas? Could be gas" I shake my head, the Doctor turns around and looks up at alien "ah. It never rains but it pours."
"We were drilling for oil in the ice. I thought I'd found a mammoth."
"It's not a mammoth" I say.
"No."
"What is it, then?" Clara asks.
"It's an Ice Warrior. A native of the planet Mars. And we go way back. Way back" the Doctor says.
"A Martian? You can't be serious."
"I'm always serious. With days off" the Doctor says.
"Doctor" Clara says.
"Just keeping it light, Clara. They're scared" the Doctor replies.
"They're scared? I'm scared" Clara says, a man points his pistol at the Ice Warrior, who raises his weapon arm and powers up.
"No, no, no, no, no, no! Please, please. Wait, just. There is no need for this. Just hear us out. You're confused, disorientated. Of course, you are" I say.
"You've been lying dormant in the ice for, for, for how long? How long, Professor?" the Doctor asks.
"By my reckoning, five thousand years."
"Five thousand years? That's a hell of a nap. Can't blame you if you've got out of the wrong side of the bed. Look, nobody here wants to hurt you" I say, as the Doctor pushes the man's gun down.
"Please, just. Why don't you tell us your name?" the Doctor asks.
"What are you talking about? It has a name?"
"Of course, it has a name. And a rank. This is a soldier, and it deserves our respect" I say.
"This is madness. That is a monster!"
"Skaldak."
"What did you say?" the Doctor asks.
"I am Grand Marshal Skaldak."
"Oh, no" I mutter, then electricity plays over Skaldak's wet armour. He roars before collapsing. The man who had the gun has used a cattle prod on Skaldak from behind.
"You idiot! You idiot. Grand Marshal Skaldak" the Doctor says.
"You two know him," Clara says.
"Sovereign of the Tharsyssian caste. Vanquisher of the Phobos Heresy. The greatest hero the proud Martian race has ever produced" I say.
"So, what do we do now?" the Captain asks.
"Lock... him... up" the Doctor says.
"The Ice Warriors have a different creed, Clara. A different code. By his own standards, Skaldak is a hero. It was said his enemies honoured him so much, they'd carve his name into their own flesh before they died" the Doctor says.
"Oh, yeah. Very nice. He sounds lovely" Clara says.
"An Ice Warrior? Explain" the Captain says.
"There isn't time," the Doctor says.
"Try me."
"Martian reptile known as the Ice Warrior. When Mars turned cold they had to adapt. They're bio-mechanoid. Cyborgs. Built themselves survival armour so they could exist in the freezing cold of their homeworld, but a sudden increase in temperature and the armour goes haywire" I say.
"Like with the cattle prod thing," Clara says.
"Like with the cattle prod thing. Bit of a design flaw. To be honest, I've always wondered why they never sorted it. Oh look, you've got me telling you about them and the Doctor said there wasn't time" I say.
"Is he that dangerous?" Clara asks.
"This one is," the Doctor says.
"Why are we listening to this nonsense, Captain? These people are clearly enemy agents."
"Huh?" Clara asks"
"Spies, Captain."
"Pretty bad spies, mate. I don't even speak Russian" Clara says.
"What?"
"I don't," Clara says she looks to me and starts whispering "am I speaking Russian? How come I'm speaking Russian?"
"Now? We have to do this now?" the Doctor whispers back.
"Are they speaking Russian?" Clara asks.
"Seriously? Now?" the Doctor asks.
"It's the TARDIS translation matrix" I reply.
"In my opinion, Comrade Captain, this creature is a Western weapon."
"Are they?" Clara asks.
"Yes, they're Russians" I say.
"A weapon?" the Captain asks.
"Survival Suit. What is the alternative? The little green man from Mars?"
"Correction. It's a big green man from Mars" the Professor says.
"I don't appreciate your levity, Professor."
"Why does that not surprise me? Maybe they're telling the truth" the Professor says.
"The truth?"
"Yes, a revolutionary concept, I know."
"It's essential that we inform Moscow of what we have found."
"The radio's out of action, in case you hadn't noticed, Stepashin," the Captain says.
"They have our last position. They will find us. When they do..." Stepashin trails off.
"Yes?"
"Well, the Cold War won't stay cold forever, Captain."
"For God's sake, Stepashin, you're like a stuck record. We have other priorities right now. I want you back on repairs immediately. We need to keep this ship alive. Dismissed."
"Sir?"
"Dismissed, Stepashin" Stepashin leaves.
"All we needed to do was let Skaldak go and he'd have forgotten us. But you attacked him. You declared war. Harm one of us and you harm us all. That's the ancient Martian code" the Doctor says, there's beeping from the professor's headphones "you hear that? Skaldak has sent out a distress call. He will bring down the fires of hell just for laying a glove on him."
"Unless you talk to it?" the Captain asks.
"I'm the only one who can," the Doctor says.
"No. Out of the question. We're not losing you. I'll do it" the Captain says.
"What?"
"You can talk to it through me."
"Skaldak won't talk to you. You're an enemy soldier."
"And how would he know that?"
"A soldier knows another soldier. He'll smell it on you. Smell it on you a mile off."
"And he wouldn't smell it on you, Doctor?"
"Just let me in there before it's too late. It can't be you or any of your men."
"Well, it can't be you."
"Ahem. Well, there really is only one choice, isn't there. I don't smell of anything, to my knowledge" Clara says.
"You? No! No! No way. You're not going in there alone, Clara. Absolutely not. No, no. Never" the Doctor says.
"I'll go with her" I say.
*Time skip*
The small circular bulkhead door closes behind Clara and I. Clara puts on the radio headset and picks up an inspection light.
"Ready, Clara? Seer?" the Doctor asks.
"Yeah" we reply.
"Ok."
"Grand Marshal Skaldak," Clara says.
"The salute" I whisper.
"Do the salute like I showed you" the Doctor says, Clara and I clench our right fists to our left shoulders.
"Ok?" Clara asks, I nod.
"Good. Good. Now, like we rehearsed. Sovereign of the Tharsyssian caste" the Doctor says.
"Sovereign of the Tharsyssian caste. By the moons, I honour the..."
"Good. It's ok, Clara. Go closer" I whisper "I'll be right behind you."
"Grand Marshal, I'm, we're sorry about this."
"It's not what you deserve," the Doctor says.
"It isn't what you deserve" the power goes out.
"Oh. Oh, great" Cara says.
"Hey, it's ok, Clara. Keep going" I say, Clara puts down the inspection light and switches on a small torch.
"You're a long way from home," Clara says.
"Five thousand years," the Doctor says.
"And five thousand years adrift in time. Please, let us help you. You are not our enemy" Clara says.
"And yet I am in chains."
"Doctor, Seer, what do I say?" Clara asks.
"Yes, Doctor, Seer. What should she say?"
"I think he wants to speak to the organ grinder, not to the monkey."
"I heard that," Clara says.
"You are restrained until we can trust each other, Skaldak. You would do exactly the same in my position, and don't even think about using that sonic weapon. Not in the torpedo room."
"I was Fleet Commander of the Nix Tharsyss. My daughter stood by me. It was her first taste of action. We sang the songs of the Old Times. The Songs of the Red Snow. Five thousand years. Now my daughter will be dust. Only dust."
"No, no, no. Listen, your people live on Skaldak. Scattered all across the universe. And Mars will rise again, I promise you. Just let us help you."
"I require no help. There will be no help."
"Careful, Clara" I say.
"I'm ok," Clara says.
"No, listen, Clara, don't get too close."
"I'm ok. Seer, something's wrong."
"What?" the Doctor asks.
"Something's..." Clara touches the helmet and it hinges backwards "It's not there. It's gone!" the armour opens like a Dalek shell. It is empty.
"Gone? Gone? Gone? What do you mean, gone?" the Doctor asks.
"It's got out" I say.
"It is time I learned the measure of my enemies. And what this vessel is capable of."
"No, no, no. Skaldak!" the Doctor shouts.
"Harm one of us and you harm us all. By the Moons, this I swear."