His white face haunted my dreams. I saw his wounds in front of my eyes all night, and each time they seemed more grievous. I could smell rotting flesh.
I was pulled with difficulty out of my restless sleep one chilly morning, a month later, by a soft voice calling my name. Upon opening my sticky eyes, I saw Halbarad kneeling next to me. "Not the pretty face you were expecting?" He asked nonchalantly. I tried to grin, sitting and pulling my blanket around my shoulders.
"Legolas has gone then?"
"Aye, he's insisting on helping us, and we can't argue with that. He said to tell you to try and relax for the day. Aragorn is with him this time. I think he is anxious that everyone is safe now."
"No wonder", I said grimly, taking the plate of food and cup of tea offered with a nod of my head. My voice faded. "The twins are orc hunting, aren't they?"
Halbarad rolled his eyes. "They're always bloody hunting. You worry too much. All of them will be home safe."
I sighed. "I know, but I hate to be eating breakfast in bed while my friends are risking their lives."
"Legolas said you'd say that." Halbarad intoned cheerfully before I could go on. "Aragorn also told you to shut it and eat. His words not mine."
I rolled my eyes and Halbarad grinned. There was silence for a few moments, in which I could not seem to focus on the bearded face of Aragorn's kinsman. "Are you alright?" He said after a moment. I blinked, and his frowning face came back into focus.
"Fine."
Halbarad sighed. "The lad's death has affected us all, but none more than you, I know. Take some rest today, as much as can be found."
I smiled with effort, taking a deep breath. "Thank you, my friend. I'll be okay. He was so young, is all, even among your people. When nearly a thousand years weigh upon you, eighteen seems barely a heartbeat."
"Tis a blink from where I stand also. I cannot imagine what it must seem like to you and the other elves." Halbarad reached out to squeeze my shoulder. His face was grim, but his words were as soft as always. I nodded slightly.
"I suppose I will get used to it. I'm starving."
"Stop fretting and eat then". Halbarad rolled his eyes in gentle humour.
I raised an eyebrow. "Yes lieutenant."
Halbarad bowed sarcastically and left and I turned to my breakfast – fresh, warm flatbread straight from the fire and a dollop of last night's broth. Once it had been eaten, which took an indecently short time, I dressed and shook my hair out of its usual night-time braid.
It was a cold, crisp morning. Grey clouds plodded gloomily through the sky and the ground was hard. Raina sat shivering by the fire, darning a tear in a green dress. I darted back inside and went over, wrapping her in my blanket. "Thanks Ness", she said shyly.
"You should be inside in this cold."
"It's too dark." She answered practically. However, something in her brown eyes displayed a deeper reason. I frowned. The younger children were easy to soothe, but Raina was fully aware of how precarious the situation had become.
"You can tell me anything you know", I began, smiling slightly but looking away from the child, my eyes fixed on the trees to our left, "I was young once, long ago."
"You didn't live here". Raina sniffed. I pulled my blanket further around her.
"No, but I did not live in the safety of an elvish land either. We lived much as you do. There were harsh winters, hungry mouths, and orcs. More and more orcs as the years went by and the watchful peace came to an end."
"At least you could fight them." Raina said quietly. I almost laughed, shaking my head.
"My father would never have let me touch a sword, let alone fight with one."
Raina was so surprised that she forgot to look upset. She turned, eyes wide, and spoke. "But you're an elf! You can do what you want!"
I laughed again. "It doesn't work like that, I'm afraid. My parents treated us as yours do you. We had to cook, clean, darn, and, when he was old enough, my brother defended our home with my father, much like Mallor does now."
"Were you scared?" Raina asked quietly, going back to her work to avoid my eye. I sighed and wrapped an arm around her, allowing her dark head to rest on my shoulder.
"My parents were lucky. We had a cottage, so it was easier to shield us from it all, at least when we were younger. But once I was old enough to understand a little more of the world then yes, I was, very scared. I still am, Raina. There's no shame in it."
"I suppose not." She decided after a moment. "I worry about da and uncle Halbarad. They're too reckless."
"Sometimes it is a necessary evil." Raina looked around as Halbarad sat on her other side, balancing three steaming mugs in his large hands. "Now, Raina. What have we told you about worry?"
"It doesn't help anyone." Raina replied tonelessly.
"It does not. We are all guilty of it", Halbarad glanced sternly at me, "but this is a harsh world. There is no option but to cope."
"I know", Raina whispered. Halbarad sighed to see her sadness, his stern exterior crumbling in a second, as it always did where his beloved niece was concerned. "You're so like your mother." He smiled. "She hides it better, but she's just as bad. We fight so you can be safe."
"We're not safe though, are we?"
"One group alone cannot stem the tide." Halbarad said quietly. "But others will follow, someday soon."
"Raina Tarondoriel, if you think your uncle and father and I are going to let you get a single scratch, you are mistaken." I shook off my heavy heart and smiled broadly at the girl. "I cannot pretend that it is going to be easy. I won't lie and say I am not afraid, but bravery is in spite of fear, not in its absence."
Raina smiled unwillingly and nodded.
At that moment, however, there was an inhuman screech from the east side of the camp, perilously close to the huts. Halbarad and I sprung to our feet, dropping our half-full mugs onto the ground. "Stay here!" Halbarad called back to Raina, gesturing for me to follow him.
There was no time to find horses. We ran, Halbarad's sword bared and my bow strung, to the source of the sounds. Another orc screeched, but it was cut short. Such was my speed that Halbarad was already falling behind. I could hear his footsteps pounding on the grass behind me. "Go left!" He called out, panting. Unthinkingly I obeyed him.
There were about thirty orcs remaining. The other members of the pack were slain, in a great circle, around three fighters. Legolas there was, his arrows spent and his long white knife in his steady hand. Beriadan stood nearby, cutting through the creatures with his face twisted into an expression I had never seen from the mild-mannered young man. Aragorn was furthest from them both. He was almost surrounded, and the others could not reach him.
I leapt up onto a large rock, set into the hillside, and nocked an arrow, shooting steadily into the midst of Aragorn's assailants. One fell, then another, then another. Aragorn turned to cut a grey throat and saw me, outlined against the grey sky, fury in my face. He turned again, confidence returning to his proud posture, and stabbed the creatures nearest, while I finished off those he could not reach.
My arrow sank into the last orc's neck with a thud and a gurgle. When I had watched it fall and its twitching had ceased, I looked around at the other fighters, who were all still standing, by some miracle. Tar had also joined us, though I had not noticed him coming to his chieftain's aid. I glanced down at Legolas, sending him a look. He nodded, confirming to me that he was okay.
I jumped lightly from the rock and strode to Aragorn's side. "Are you hurt?"
Aragorn shook his head and stepped forward to clap me on the shoulder. "Thank you, dear friend." He sighed. "They have never come so close."
"Some must have escaped, when my cousins and I hunted around this valley." I answered grimly. "I knew it would happen, but what position does this put us in?"
Aragorn hesitated before answering. "The lands are no longer open to us. My first wish would be to move the women and children, but there are no safe paths on which to travel. We have to defend this hideout as best we can for now." He sighed. "If Duilin had not given in to fear, we would not be in this position."
I nodded, biting the inside of my lip. "We cannot change what Duilin did. He was young and erratic, and he paid with his life. All we can do is ensure no-one else here feels the toll of his foolishness."
"Ness, I need you to take on more." Aragorn sighed again after a moment. "I need your help to lead my men. They trust you now, and I know they would follow you, if need be."
I knew exactly what Aragorn asked of me. He lived a dangerous life. He had no heirs, and never would unless all of our hopes came true and the Enemy was utterly defeated. If the worst happened, I would need to ensure the Dúnedain had a leader. Their chieftain would perhaps be Elladan, as the eldest nephew of Elros Halfelven, the first king of Númenor, but I would be needed to aid in keeping the men alive. Such was the times we lived in that I barely flinched at the thought. There was no time to fear it.
"That is my fate." I said, smiling grimly. "You have my help, for as long as there is breath in my body, but I doubt the event you prepare for is likely to come. Arwen waits for you, brother. I know you would do anything to get back to her."
"You're right, but it lightens the burden to know there's a plan."
Legolas walked over at that moment and the conversation ceased. "I'm not hurt." He said before I could ask. I kissed his cheek and he held out his hand, looping his fingers through mine and leading me back to the camp, Aragorn and Beriadan beside us. Tar and Halbarad stayed behind to burn the orc corpses.
There were few other men in the camp, but what forces there were had circled around the fire, weapons drawn. Firiel, Ancalimë and Almarien stood beside Galdor and Mallor, fierce in their anger and fear. They were ready for a last defence.
However, as we walked back in, muddied but unhurt, their stances relaxed. The children behind crept shyly out. Beriadan jogged over to sweep little Barahir into his arms, kissing him on the head and leaning over to kiss Almarien too. His eyes lingered on her stomach and she put a hand to it, nodding reassuringly. Legolas narrowed his eyes for a second, but let it pass. He was intuitive to a fault at times; soon enough he would guess, I predicted.
Raina ran up at that moment, white faced, but Aragorn hugged her, then put his hands on her cheeks. "They're fine. They just need to sort some things out."
She nodded and I hugged her gently too, stroking back her soft hair. Behind her, Firiel's shoulders relaxed. "It's all over", Legolas said soothingly as Vallacar and Aranwë joined their older sister, each taking one of her hands. "Your uncle and father fought bravely, and they'll be back soon." He reached out to ruffle their hair, and the boys giggled.
Aragorn tried to smile along with the young ones, but it did not quite reach his eyes. "I am afraid I'm going to have to steal Legolas for a second, but perhaps later he will teach you how to fletch arrows."
Legolas nodded obligingly. "It is a skill you will all need." He smiled slightly at Raina and her eyes widened.
"Me too?"
"Of course! Your mother can do it. Why not you?"
Raina smiled a real smile, the first I'd seen all day, and led her brothers over to Firiel. I could hear her excitedly relaying the day's plans to her mother. I smiled at Firiel over her head, but rushed after Legolas as Aragorn called me to his hut.
Aragorn offered us the mattress and he took a blanket to sit on opposite us. "My friends, we are in trouble." He said.
"I noticed." Legolas replied dryly. "Do we have a plan?" Aragorn and I glanced at each other for a second and he raised an eyebrow. "Have you two been scheming again?"
"I am going to take a more active role".
There was an unreadable expression on Legolas' face. "I thought you might."
"Have I done wrong?" I said cautiously, while Aragorn looked on awkwardly. Legolas' face softened. He shook his head.
"I have told you before that I will support you, whatever you need. I worry, is all."
"I know. So do I, but we knew the trials we would face. We keep each other safe, as we have always done." I reached up to kiss him on the cheek and he gave a grudging smile.
"She is gaining skills by the day." Aragorn said. "I need someone like her, but I need you also. That is what I have brought you here to say." Legolas nodded and moved to speak, but Aragorn held up a hand. "You're a good team. The way you work together is flawless, and I need that trust to be used on patrols. Ness, you said to me a while ago that I did not bring you and Legolas to aid the women and children in their tasks, and you were right. I need you to encourage and lead the men, and I need your skill as a strategist, Legolas. If we are to have any hope of surviving, I must use every man – and woman – to their full strength."
"We will do everything we can" Legolas said. I nodded in agreement, and he allowed himself a grin. "Though if I do not teach little Raina how to fletch arrows, I fear rebellion."
Aragorn smiled too. "Even that is an essential task. We are all running out, and small hands work quickly once they are trained."
"I shall make a start." Legolas stood, offering us both a hand.
"Can you teach me too?" I asked as we exited Aragorn's hut and made our way across the grass to the meeting hut. Legolas turned to look at me incredulously.
"The lover of the prince of the Woodland Realm has never fletched an arrow? I have failed you, Ness! It is not a difficult task once one is used to it, but you must have the right kind of feathers, as softer ones will lessen the speed..."
I watched him speak at a hundred miles an hour, his eyes shining with enthusiasm, and helped him to collect enough materials for the task. I caught Tar's eye and smiled effortlessly. He grinned amusedly back, shrugging slightly, as if to say, 'rather you than me', and went at Aragorn's call.
A.M.