"I am sorry Chris, but I can't miss this, we have an important client meeting the day after tomorrow!"
"I can't believe this Hailey! We planned it like three months ago. We were supposed to be in the flight right now!"
"I know, I am sorry about that but-"
"Really, Hailey? Is that all coincidental or do you not wish to spend time with me? All those early promotions are getting to your head."
I was taken aback at that rude statement. I had tried my best to spend as much time as possible with him, but he couldn't see my efforts. And I was not the only one at fault here; he too had a busy calendar. But no, all responsibility came down to me.
"Chris... I can't- oh my God, how can you even say that to me? It takes two to tango! You aren't available half the time either!"
"It's expected of me! I need to work. Why can't you just choose to stay at home Hailey? You have done well, can't you be a loving wife to me now?"
Oh no he didn't just-
"Chris-" I protested, but he interrupted.
"You probably wouldn't even have landed the interview if I hadn't pushed forward your resume...."
Our last conversation from years ago was circling in my mind. His final statement had always haunted me since then, and I had spent my years trying to prove him wrong, trying to establish my worth and credibility, that I deserved this, that it wasn't because he did something for me. Sometimes there can be other things more important than love, and pride often happens to be one of them.
I wasn't always this prideful, but if the other person is heartless enough to hurt it, it's proof that the love doesn't exist anymore, and it's wasteful to keep holding on.
I pushed him away with a jerk and tried to catch my breath. The next moment, rage surged through me, and I smacked him across the face.
"What the hell, Chris!" I complained.
A small cut seeped out a little blood from his lip which he wiped away with the back of his hand and then smirked, which annoyed me all the more.
"Been a long time since you called me that, Hails."
Chris.
It was out of habit, an old stupid habit of mine that I wanted to get rid of. I didn't want to give him any reason to believe that he had some power over me. He was my past, and he will stay there forever, buried. I don't need him anymore.
And yet, your heart is beating like crazy right now. The red-coloured devil on my left shoulder whispered.
Because he was the only person ever, you kissed! The white-coloured angel on my right shoulder chimed in.
But you don't regret that decision, do you? Go ahead, say a yes, six months of fun! The red devil hissed.
But what about Noah? Weren't you looking forward to experiencing his less stressful life? The white angel reasoned.
Go for both woman; you have nothing to lose anymore! The devil screeched.
No that's cheating! The angel pleaded.
It's not!
It is!
Oh, shut up! I mentally growled and shook my head. Then I immediately rushed through the open door of my apartment and before he could react, shut it on his face. I stood there with my back to the door, a hand on my crazily beating heart, trying to calm it.
"I know you are still there, Hails." I heard his deep voice. For a moment there, just to make a fool out of him, I wanted to rush inside my room, to block away from his words, so his speech reaches to an empty door only. But I knew I couldn't do that; I was too curious-ahem-nice a person to do that. So I turned around and placed my ear on the door to hear him better.
It's this strange tingling and pleasing feeling in your heart, you feel when you win at something. Right now, him coming to me was probably some kind of a closure I had always wanted; An acknowledgement of the fact that I was an amazing wife to him, who he regretted separating from. It was my victory, an accreditation to my worth.
Sometimes it is the person you like the least, whose approval matters the most to you.
"Hails, I am all in this time." He called out. When I didn't give him an answer, he continued. "I'll throw in the towel Hails. I am so sorry. I regret it, and I am still in love with you. I want you back."
Even though he was accepting that he was wrong, even though it must be one of the most embarrassing moments in the life of this egoistic workaholic, the bluntness of his words has managed to portray him as the cool lover he always was. I couldn't help melting to his words.
But why now?
As if he heard my unspoken question, he answered, "You are taking a break, and I don't want to let go of this chance. I have always wanted to get back with you. Come on, give me another chance?"
I wanted to stay silent, not answer his words at all. I was hoping he would leave disappointed. But a small part of me wanted to know the extent to which he would go to get back with me, wanted to test if he was serious about me. Maybe some part of me wanted to get back as well.
"We'd still end up the same way. You would still be the same sexist pig you were back then!" I grunted.
I heard a heavy audible sigh from the other side of the door. I could picture him lean his head against the door, looking as beautiful as ever.
"I-I was an asshole, I accept. Even that resume thing, it wasn't true. My opinion wouldn't have mattered. You got in through your abilities."
I knew that genius. I had been in the system long to realise that. Yet your opinion mattered the most to me. I wanted to prove to you my worth and capability.
"You were the best at it. Maybe I got jealous."
That. That statement. I wanted to hear that for so long. I had always imagined what it would feel like when he acknowledged my abilities. But jealous? He was still better than me. Hell, he had more chances of becoming the CEO, then why?
"I got jealous of your work, your team, your commitment. I wanted you to be that committed to me."
I opened my mouth to fight and argue back, but he beat me to it.
"Not that you weren't committed. I was just too greedy. I wanted more. I wanted all of it. Your time, your love, your respect, I wanted to monopolise it all."
Even though he sounded like one of those controlling husbands who didn't want their wives to work, the possessiveness and obsession laced in his words got my heart beating like an idiot.
"You sound like a crazy controlling stalker." I bit out.
"One-third of that statement is correct. I am crazy about you, Hails."
The way he twists around the words, he might as well had become a fantastic writer.
Should I?
But if..?
I felt myself tremble, my legs feeling light as a feather as if all energy left them all of a sudden, and then I slid down on the floor.
I recalled that night from years back. I had been so mad. I left the house at the same moment. I cried my eyes out all night, and the meeting went downhill the next day, which all the more reinforced the thought in my mind that my job was all because of his recommendation.
I never went back to that house. I wanted him to come after me, but now that he did... why was I hesitant?
"Christian... please leave."
"Hail-"
"Give me time, please."
***
"Really?" My brother asked, in a not so interested tone, when I told him about Christian's visit on the phone the next morning.
"Can you at least pretend to be a little more surprised or angry?" I complained. "Even if he is your friend, shouldn't the fact that he hurt your little sister be more important to you?"
"You weren't exactly innocent either, little sister."
"What? I thought we were on the same side!"
"You made your work your life. You didn't give any time to the poor guy, not saying that he wasn't at fault. He was the same as you. Both of you were complete idiots."
I rolled my eyes at that.
"Don't you dare roll your eyes at me! You know it's the truth."
Surprised, I looked to my left and then the right, while I sat on my bed, wondering if he had a camera installed in my room to keep an eye on me.
"Hails, I think you should give him a chance. I want you to be happy."
I considered his words. I had been thinking about the same all night. Damn, I couldn't even sleep.
"Sebastian... as you said, he was an idiot, and he might still be one. I- I don't know, I fear he would still do the same."
"But Hail-"
"There's this guy." I blurted out as soon as Noah's thought came to my mind.
"What guy?" He asked, his voice mixed with a little concern and irritation and the first time in my life, he felt like a possessive elder brother.
"Noah... he owns this restaurant next to my apartment."
"Noah, who is this Noah? I swear to God Hails if this guy is taking advantage of your health-"
"Sebastian! He was my senior back at college!" I interrupted.
"Noah... Noah Clifford?" He asked, his voice laced with surprise. "Wasn't he married already? I thought he had a daughter?"
Right! He does. Was he married, or divorced? Or a single dad? I never asked him! But then, if he agreed, he must be alone right now.
"He does, but we kinda started dating, very recently." I can never tell him that I made a deal with him. My brother would kill me before the Grim Reaper ever comes for me.
"Umm okay, still, give a thought to Christian as well, he is at least a known devil."
***
Noah and I were seated opposite to Graham, and he was admiring the crisp bills I had drawn out of the bank this morning.
"Cash, as you wanted." I huffed. "Now I shouldn't see you anywhere within five hundred meter radius of Carwyn's."
"You've got that lady!" He said with a smirk as he closed the briefcases. "Lucky bastard you Noah, you got a good woman."
"Shut up." Noah bit out.
As soon as Graham and his team left, I turned to Noah with a pen and paper.
"You're sure about this?" He asked.
"Positive."
He stared at me with a confused expression, still playing around with the pen I gave him to sign the marriage registration form. "I-I am speechless. This is so weird, why me? I run a restaurant. I was in loads of debt. I have a daughter. It doesn't make sense to me. What's the catch?"
In our first year of college, we learned this theory in the organisational behaviour subject, called Maslow's hierarchy of needs. It said that once you had your basic needs for food, shelter, security etc. addressed, your third level of need comprises of love and belongingness.
I had my own house.
I had a great job and career.
I had loads of money.
And I had no time.
What more did I want?
Love. Family. Belongingness. Sometimes the status of the other person didn't matter, because you had it all. What difference would it make if I married a guy who was as rich as me? I would still live the same life; I would still die in six months.
With Noah, at least with the debt he owes me, he wouldn't think about betraying me.
Maybe the love and care he shows would be fake. But a little lie wouldn't hurt for your last six months.
"Noah, you agreed because you wanted something from me, and I offered because you can give me something that not everyone can."
He stared at the sheet of paper for another moment and then clicked the pen.
"How does it even matter, six months are going to pass away in the blink of an eye." He muttered.
That blink of an eye, am hoping I get to cherish it for all eternity.
The bell from the main door of the restaurant rung as he moved his hand to sign at the bottom of the paper.
"Stop." We heard a loud voice from a distance and turned around to see Christian standing there, perspiring and breathing hard as if he just ran a marathon.
"Chris-"
"Hails, I thought we had an understanding. You were going to give it some time!" He yelled in an accusing voice.
"Wright..?" Noah looked at him, confused.
"I am not going to lose you again. Not to him at least!" He pointed his finger at Noah as he leaned down to catch his breath. "Three months, you wait for three months, and we'll compete to show, who is the more suited guy for you!"