January 1, 2000
Arique
"You think I fucked up too bad, Bubba?" Ericka asks me crying. I decided to stay back here with her and DeArique because I was not about to embarrass myself. I already can't skate, then add the fact that he fucked my walk up. Baby no.
I exhale before answering her, "I don't know, Bookie. Maybe y'all should talk." I suggest to her. We are sitting down in the living room talking. DeArique has been sleep since they left. Babies are boring at this age, all they do is eat, sleep and shit.
"I don't know if he is going to want to do that, Bubba. He was pretty damn mad at me." She pouts. "I love him, I don't want him going to prison with the mindset that I'm disloyal. It might make him hate me."
Wait.
"Didn't you say that you were in love with Weasel and didn't leave Delontae because Weasel didn't want to hurt his best friend?" I ask her confused. "Why the change of heart? Why you want him now all of a sudden especially with him having so much time?" I genuinely want to know. This was just last week that she said this shit too.
"Because Weasel is just something to pass time. Don't get me wrong, I caught feelings for him, but he's no Delontae."
"It sound like you was just saying all that shit the other day from anger."
"Because I was!" She says frustratedly. "I just heard my nigga on the phone fucking on another bitch! Of course I'ma be pissed!"
I'an no bitch, sis.
"While you were hugged up with another nigga." I remind her.
"Because the nigga was hugged up with another bitch." She cuts her eyes at me. "Whose side are you on?"
"I'm not on nobody's side. Both of y'all are grown and should be able to communicate effectively. If y'all don't want to be wit' each other then say that shit."
"I do want to be wit' him! His ass jus' can't keep his dick in his pants!" She is starting to yell.
"Calm down, Bookie. I'm not trying to upset you or anything. I just don't understand why y'all together if y'all don't seem to be happy."
She sits and thinks for a little bit. "I feel like I can trust you, but I'm finna go get some wine to sip on while I tell you this shit." She gets up to go to the kitchen.
I take a deep breath to try and mentally prepare myself for what she might say. I don't know what she is getting ready to tell me, but I hope it's nothing too bad. With her fucking around with Weasel, my mind automatically goes to her helping him set Delontae up. Well that and the fact that DeArique might be Weasels baby. I won't know anything until she tells me though, so I'll just stay cool, calm, and collected until then.
I hope she brings me a glass to sip with her. I think to myself as I wait on her. I think I should be feeling worse than I do right now. I should feel like complete shit for letting my cousin cry to me about her nigga that I'm fucking. But, I don't. Don't get me wrong, I feel a little bad, but I'm not losing any sleep over it. At first I was, but I'm in too deep to care about how she may feel if she were to find out.
I'm sure he feels the same way. We're in love. It feels good to know that the man I'm in love with is in love with me as well. I feel more self conscious about me being trifling than I do of doing my cousin wrong.
I feel like my integrity is shot, so my self-esteem is lower because I feel less than because I pride myself on loyalty. I don't feel bad for my cousin or how I'm doing her, I just pity myself because I can no longer say that I'm a real ass nigga.
Ugh, why are feelings so complicated?
"I brought you a glass too, Bubba in case you wanted some." She returns with a bottle and two wine glasses.
"You must can read my mind, Bookie." I chuckle lightly. "I was just thinking I hope you brought me one."
"I gotcha big bro." She smiles lightly. She really looks like she is going through it. Her smile doesn't reach her eyes. She pours us both a glass, hands me mine and then sips hers as she sits back on the couch. We sit in silence for a while as she collects her thoughts. Ericka sighs softly before she starts talking. "This might be my karma," she says more to herself. "I only got with him at first because I wanted his bread. The streets talk, and I heard a few things about him."
I just sit and let her continue, I don't want to interrupt so nothing will be left out. "I didn't really plan for us working out. But, Delontae is a good nigga outside of the street shit. He's smart, takes care of home and always lacing somebody up. I ended up catching feelings when I was supposed to just be getting money from him, you know. The way he carries himself is unlike any other nigga I've encountered before. He don't act like he's better than other nigga's, even though he is. He treats nobody less than himself. He has manners, and is polite. He knows when to be street and when to be professional. His confidence is so damn sexy, he knows he's the shit but is humble about it. On top of that he got some bomb dick; I never knew I could squirt." She laughs to herself before sipping from her glass.
Trust me, I know how good the dick is sis. Ugh, I'm so triflin'.
"He's the most honest nigga I've ever been with. Most nigga's when they try to be 'playas' lie when they get caught, and shit like that. Delontae is always honest. He don't let shit get to him too much." She sips some more before continuing. "I realized I loved him when I threw a fit for him fucking off. Somebody told me about him messing round with some girl so I approached him about it. The nigga didn't lie or try to deny it. I started punching, kicking, screaming everything I could to try to make him hurt the way that shit hurt.
I called myself breaking up with him or whatever, and he was fucking on bitches left and right like he wasn't affected by it. Like a dumb-ass, I came back. But, he didn't stop fucking with other women. So I was like, since he wants to play, let me show him how the game is played." She polishes off he glass and sits it on the table. "Don't tell KiKi this, but I tried to fuck his brother Josh. Josh wasn't going for it though, and I was embarrassed for being turned down, because what straight nigga turns down pussy?" She laughs.
"He in love with KiKi though so he wasn't going. I cussed him out and called him all type'a faggots and shit. He called me all types of disloyal hoes and that's how we fell out. I didn't do it to fuck up my relationship with my homegirl which is why I never told her, I just wanted somebody close to Smutt to cut him deep. One day Weasel came over after when Bugga was like eighteen months and saw me crying while he was down for a nap and started consoling me.
I've never seen Weasel be so sweet and attentive, and I was vulnerable at the time and he kind of seduced me. I swear I spent more time with Weasel than I did my own man, and started growing accustomed to the attention I was getting."
"So how long y'all been fuckin' around?" I ask what I've been dying to know.
"A little over a year." She says quietly.
"Is DeArique, Delontae's baby?"
"He looks just like him, but I honestly don't know. I was using condoms with Wendell, but we got so caught up a few times that we had some slip ups. I'm really hoping he's Delontae's baby though. I just don't know for sure. But if we're going off of looks, then he looks just like Bugg and his daddy."
"Well to be fair, and ease everybody's mind, I think you should do a DNA test before he goes to jail." I suggest.
"I could do that for him to ease his mind." She sighs and goes into deep thought. "I just feel fucked up."
"Why? You originally did it to get back at him, and y'all was fucking on each other for a year. Why do you feel bad now? Because you got caught?" I ask seriously. I really want to understand the logic behind it.
"No not because of that." She says lowly and gets quiet for a short while. "You remember when I told you Wendell called him and he was fucking somebody else?" She looks at me.
"Yeah?" I say as a question because I don't know where she's going with the question.
"Wendell been saying for the longest that he wanted us to be official because I was too good of a woman for Smutt's bullshit. He would always say that he could get him out of the picture. I didn't want my baby daddy dead though, what about my son that adores him." She pours herself another glass as she looks like her nerves are getting the best of her. I finish mine off and place the glass on the table because now I'm on edge.
"I was so mad that day because when Wendell asked him if it was me, the way he said 'you know it ain't' really hurt. Like am I trash or something, am I not good enough to be fucking like that?" She looks like she is reliving it and talking to herself for a second before looking back at me. "So I agreed to let Wendell get rid of him."
Wait a fuckin' minute!
"Are you fuckin' serious, Ericka?!" I exclaim getting mad. I know she don't know this, but she set my fucking man up! Well, she knows about the set up apparently, but not about him being my man. "Why would you do some fucked up shit like that?!"
"Don't yell at me! You're supposed to be on my side!" She waves her free hand around.
"I'm not tryna hear that shit right now, Ericka!" I yell back. "What you did was fucked up and selfish! Did you ever stop to think about his child?! His brothers?! Shit ME?!" I am really fucking mad right now. "You ever stop to think that Weasel's ass was just using you?! How he go from not wanting to hurt his best friend to setting him up for heavy time?!"
"So because the nigga helped you out when you was fresh out of jail, his feelings trump mine?!" She screams back. "I'm your fucking sister!"
"You're my cousin! And for us to share the same blood I'm embarrassed! That was some police ass shit you did! You know nigga's in the street don't play when it comes to the laws."
"Well I hate to be the one to break it to you, but you are my brother! So we share more blood than you think! You should bd on my side!"
"What the fuck are you talking' about?!" I reel my head back.
"My mama said that she fucked your daddy to get pregnant wit me so we could be twins." She sits back kind of looking like she feels bad for telling me. "Don't tell your mama please!" She pleads with me, knowing that was the first thing I was going to do.
"How long you knew this?" I lower my voice to ask.
"Since middle school."
"And you didn't think to tell me?" I arch a brow. "Why would both of y'all keep something like this from us? He's dead and gone now, ain't like she can light his ass up about it."
"My mama told me that she would tell me if I stopped bugging her about who my daddy is, but she made me swear not to tell anybody."
So my daddy knew Ericka was his, which is why the nigga took care of her like she was his own.
"Wow." I pour myself another glass. "Well since the nigga is dead and I don't remember him I don't care. I'll give you my word to not tell my mama. I still think what you did to Delontae was fucked up though." I shake my head in disappointment.
"After I tell you about us being siblings and you still on this nigga side?!" She exclaims. "What yo' gay ass want him or something?!"
Oh she going there?
"Excuse me?" I say more calmly than I expected.
"I'm sorry, Bubba. I'm all over the place, and mad and I feel like you're attacking me." She looks ready to break down and cry.
"Naw you said what you meant." I shake my head.
"I'm sorry. I been talking to my mama and she said watch my man around you 'cause you fruity. You are a little more feminine than most men, but I know it's 'cause you were around us all the time. I really didn't mean anything by it. I'm jus' mad and I feel like you not taking my side, Bubba."
"It's not about takin' sides, Ericka. You playin' with people's lives and shit." I decided to ignore the other shit since it's true anyway. I'm truly triflin'. It's quiet for a few minutes.
"But you didn't deny the fact that you gay or like my nigga." She tilts her head questioningly.
"Because whether I'm gay or not ain't important." I sass back.
"So you are gay. Do you want Delontae? Is that the reason you always around and shit? You tryna turn my nigga out?" She starts getting a little amped up.
"Hol'em up. If ya nigga ain't gay then you have nothing to worry about. Whether I'm gay and want him or not, he's not gay so why are you focused on that?" Then I think of the previous conversation from not even three minutes ago. "Furthermore, why worry about it if you helped set him up to go to jail for eighteen years or more?"
"Naw, don't be tryna switch the subject and shit to make it seems like I'm the bad guy. Are you trying to fuck my nigga?"
"If I fucked ya nigga then he ain't yours no more now is he? Besides, you don't want him no more anyway, so it don't matter." I was trying to keep everything nice and easy since I don't want to out Delontae, and she is my "sister" but she is pushing me.
"So you saying you fucked him?!" She sits up like she is ready to swing on me.
"I ain't say that! I'm jus' sayin' that if ya nigga fuckin' off he ain't yours! You tryna justify your fucked up ass actions of setting 'your nigga'" I use air quotes, "up to go to prison."
"Why you so worried about it?! You only known the nigga for what? Six or seven months?! I've known you my whole life and you taking his side in this shit."
"Will your childish ass shut up about taking sides?! I'm not taking sides! Right is right, and wrong is wrong! You know setting your nigga up with your slide is outta line!" I'm getting frustrated talking in circles.
"That shit don't matter right now my nigga. Do you want to fuck my man?!" She stands up and claps her hands after each word while asking the question.
I automatically stand up because I'm not about to stay seated while somebody is ready to fight me. That's dummy shit. "Look, I'm not about to fight you over a nigga that you don't even halfway want for real. You ready to plex up and fight to distract yourself from your fuck up. I'm not with that shit. You talking' about takin' sides then backdoor and try to fight me over the same nigga you successfully got rid of. Fuck that! And while you and ya mama talking' shit y'all might wanna make sure ya own shit straight. At the end of it all ain't none of us worth shit for real!" I yell back at her.
As I finish the statement Delontae and Bugga walk in the house. "Fuck y'all yelling and shit fa?" He ask carrying a sleeping Bugga.
"Baby I don't want you hanging around him no mo', I just learned something about him and I don't trust it." Ericka walks up to him to say. I really can't believe this bitch.
He laughs in her face. "You talkin' to Bugg? Weasel is your baby and that nigga ain't here, Ericka."
"So you finna throw away all we had for one fuck up?" She asks folding her arms over her chest. I walk up to him to grab Bugga so I can put him in the bed, but she stops me. "Nigga don't be touching on my damn baby. Yo gay ass prolly be tryna touch my son and shit!" She yells in my face.
"Ericka, you might wanna tread lightly 'fore I get to airing yo' shit out in here too." I tell her. I get that people don't understand homosexuality sometimes, but to imply that I'm a child molester because I like men is fucked up. Unfortunately, it's the first thing people say when they find out somebody is gay. Especially men.
"Nigga fuck you wit' yo' faggot ass! As a matter of fact, raise up out my shit!"
"Say, Ericka, you needa chill wit' all that name callin' and shit. You bein' real disrespectful." Delontae tells her.
"Nigga fuck you too! Yo' ass prolly just as fuckin' gay! Always spendin' time together and shit. You spend more time with him than you do with me!"
"Man holdup." Delontae walks away to put him in the bed in their shared bedroom.
"I don't know why yo' ass still standin' here, Arique! Gon' 'head on!" She gestures for me to leave with her hand. I stand and just stare at her for a while, to gauge her seriousness.
"Man whatever." I just go ahead and make my way out the house. I'm fucked up for fucking "her nigga" and she fucked up for setting him up. Unlike her though, I ain't in the business of airing peoples dirty laundry.
"Hol'on, Poo. Where you goin'?" I hear Delontae ask as I'm halfway out the door.
"Poo?!" Ericka yells questioning him. "The fuck you so concerned about him for?! He done turned yo ass out?! I swear shit is starting to add up!" Ericka yells out.
"Where you goin', Poo?" He ignores her to ask me.
"She said-"
"Hold the fuck up! Nigga did you jus' ignore me to check on this grown ass man?!" She is foaming at the mouth now. If she had her suspicions before, they were just confirmed with what just happened. "Bitch!" She yells charging at me.
I immediately block my face. I was raised not to hit females. Plus she's my family, I'm not about to fight her like she a grown ass man. She swinging the bitches hard too.
"Ericka calm yo ass down!" Delontae grabs her off of me. "Fuck is you doin'?!" He yells in her face.
"Are you fuckin' my brother, Smutt?!" She yells back at him.
"You want me to lie to you or tell you the truth?"
I jus' know he not about to admit to the shit.
"Bitch! Tell me the fuckin' truth! Why would I want you to lie about some shit I asked yo ass?!" She's still screaming.
"You know damn well I ain't no bitch so watch yaself. You needa chill 'cause my son is sleep." He tells her calmly, but you can hear the anger in his voice.
"BITCH! You got two fuckin' sons and they both sleep! What?! You denying my kids 'cause you fuckin' my brother?!"
"Aight, bitch." He lets her go. "I done told yo' ass to stop bein' disrespectful. I'm denying him 'cause you been fuckin' another nigga."
"You really showing out. You ain't ever called me out my name." She says with her eyes watering, but with fury still in her eyes.
"Man say, just because you feeling fucked up off yo' actions don't mean start lashing out at everybody around you. Arique ass be defending you and shit and you coming at him reckless. I ain't fucked no other bitch in the past ten fuckin' months but yo' ass. Don't come at me at some shit you forgave me and took me back for." Delontae says. This nigga can smooth talk his way out some shit can't he.
My sis is really dumb. This nigga is the last of a dying breed.
"Naw fuck that! Are you fuckin' him?! Don't be tryna make me feel fucked up and crazy!"
"You is fucked up and crazy!" He slightly raises his voice. "How the fuck you mad at everybody when you the one fucking best friends and shit? Yo' guilty conscience is eating away at you and you don't know how to deal with the shit." Delontae tells her. "I fucked up but you tried to fuck me over. The difference is, I did shit for my own pleasure with no real intention to hurt yo' ass. You did shit wit' malice in your heart and it ain't play out the way you wanted it to. That shit ain't my fuckin' fault."
"Fuck you, Smutt!" She yells at him and storms off. "That's why yo' ass getting locked up now! Don't drop the soap bitch! Now take this gay bitch and both of y'all get the fuck out my house!" she yells at the top of her lungs.
"You got it. Let's go." He tells me as he starts walking out of the door with me. "I thought a nigga was gon' get to chill and shit 'fore I went in." He mumbles to himself as he closes and locks the door.
I walk ahead of him to his car. I can't believe what just fucking happened. We really fell out over a nigga she didn't want. I guess she figures if she can't have the way she wants him, nobody else will either.
Now I'm battling whether I should tell him about her helping set him up or not. I don't know if my loyalty should be to the person I grew up with, or the love of my life. I know that kids are raised to leave the house to live their own life. Well, according to the Bible anyway. We aren't obligated to stay rooted to the relatives we're born around, but to create our own.
But what about when that's all you know. When that was the backbone of your upbringing. Family takes care of family and that is that. Do I even have the right to use the Bible in this context? Does Delontae see me as his future family to even consider turning my back on the one that raised me?
This is a real life lose-lose situation. On one hand I'm betraying my sister if I tell him what happened. Who knows what he'll try and do to her if he finds out. On the other, I'm betraying him and his trust by not telling him that his woman helped him to get shipped off out of anger.
Don't shit where you eat applies to buku situations don't it?
*******************
So...
How we feelin?
There's more bullshit
and drama to come...
What y'all think Arique should do?
Are Ericka's actions justified?
Was Smutt wrong for trying
to justify his own dirt?
Lmk what y'all thinking...
I'm thinking Wendy and Caresha
are due for a pop up soon.
Ik y'all love them. ☺️
**********
Unrelated BS,
Well its kinda related...you'll see.
This finna be Boo, Smutt and Poo😂🤣😭
I saw this and hollered!
I wish I woulda thought of this😂😂
🗣 Anyway,
I would tell y'all to point out errors, but y'all don't mind 'em apparently. 😂
Nonetheless,
Thank you for reading, voting and commenting. 🥰💜