Chapter 28
I hate jet lag, it gets me every time. We got back from Korea about a day ago and I spent most of that time sleeping. Raegan barely got a day to recover before going back to work late this morning. By the time I wake up it's already well into the afternoon. I could have slept a lot longer but I'm incredibly hungry.
I roll over in bed and look at my phone to see that it's much later than I thought, it's after four which means I missed two meals. Oops. No wonder I'm so hungry.
I yawn as I climb out of bed and put on a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants before going to the kitchen to make something to eat.
I wasn't expecting to find anything good in the fridge since we have been gone for over a week but I'm pleasantly surprised to see that Raegan remembered to take the meat out of the freezer when we got home yesterday and put it in the fridge to defrost. There isn't much else in the fridge though other than some kimchi that's probably well aged by now which would actually make it perfect for kimchi jjigae, or kimchi stew.
I make sure I have all the ingredients I would need before pulling the pork out of the fridge. I cut it up into small pieces before putting the pieces in a bowl to marinate with some rice wine. I go to the cupboard and grab the bag of rice and rice cooker. I pour the rice and water into the cooker and add a little salt before letting it soak.
I leave the kitchen and go to the bathroom and shower while I wait for everything to be ready.
After a quick shower I dry my hair and put my t-shirt and sweats on before going back to finish cooking. It takes about 40 minutes before everything is ready and by then I'm starving.
I have just sat down at the table and have only taken a couple of bites of my food when someone suddenly knocks on the apartment door. I groan, praying whoever it is will go away so I can finish eating. I manage to take another bite just before they knock again.
I sigh as I stand up and take my bowl with me as I go to answer the door. Hopefully this will be quick. The person knocks again but louder as I approach the door. I roll my eyes as I take another bite of my food before holding the bowl with my left hand as I reach for the door knob with the other.
"What the hell is this?" Jenny asks loudly the second I open the door surprising me and almost causing me to drop my bowl.
I quickly recover from my shock as I look at the first edition copy of 'The Hobbit' she is holding in her hand before training my eyes back on her.
"Looks like it's a book," I say before taking another bite of my stew. I laugh a little to myself as I watch her roll her eyes.
"I know it's a book, I mean why do I have it?" she asks and I shrug as I swallow my food.
"I don't know. I'm assuming you brought it to show it to me for some reason and that's why you are standing outside my door with it in your hand," I say and she groans as I continue eating.
"Now is not the time for smart comments, Parker. Why the hell did you give this to me?" she asks and I look at her with a raised brow.
"Did you not read the card?" I ask and she rolls her eyes.
"Of course I read the fucking card," she says and I nod.
"Then that's why. It's a Christmas present," I say and she looks at me in disbelief.
"Why the hell are giving me Christmas presents at all let alone expensive rare books? Is this some sort of guilt gift or something?" she asks and I shake my head.
"It's just a gift. I figured you would want it more than I do," I say and she scoffs.
"What makes you think I would want anything from you after you dumped me and then went on a romantic vacation with your girlfriend?" she asks and I look at her with a raised brow.
"Romantic vacation? I really don't think I would call it that."
"What else would you call going on dates and having late night dinners in an exotic foreign country with your girlfriend?" she asks and I shrug.
"I would call it getting tired of waiting around in a large house all day for my girlfriend so I end up spending an hour on a train with a ton of other people so I can see her and have dinner with her at a more reasonable hour than ten at night. She was working like eighty-percent of the time we were there. It's probably not at all what you are picturing in your head right now or what Allison told you," I say, just assuming Allison is her source.
Jenny just shakes her head in disbelief. "You know what? It doesn't matter," she says exhaustedly. "It doesn't change the fact that you dumped me and then flew halfway around the world with the woman you dumped me for," she says and I frown. "I don't know what you are trying to accomplish by giving me this book but I don't want it so take it back," she says as she tries to hand me the book but I refuse.
"No," I say and she groans.
"Take it back, Parker!" she says loudly and I shake my head.
"I already said no. I'm not trying to accomplish anything. With me, that book was just sitting in a cabinet locked away. I figured you would appreciate it more and so I gave it to you, there's nothing else behind it," I say and she scoffs.
Before we left on our trip I kind of snuck into Jenny's room and put the book in the bottom drawer of her nightstand. I realize that I probably shouldn't have given her the book after I broke up with her but I really wanted her to have it and I had planned on giving it to her pretty much since the day I showed it to her. The book seemed to bring her such joy and happiness and I thought she would appreciate it much more than I do.
"Oh please. I'm not stupid. You wouldn't give me expensive rare books for no reason. I can't accept it," she says as she tries to hand it to me again.
"If its the monetary value of the book you are concerned about, I assure you it's nothing. I could just buy another one if I wanted," I say and she just silently looks at me for a second.
"Didn't the book belong to your father?" she asks and I nod.
"Yes."
"So I assume this particular book means a lot to you," she says and I nod again.
"It does."
"So take it back," she says as she once again tries to give me the book.
"No," I say and she groans loudly.
"Why are you being so fucking difficult, Parker?" she practically yells.
I look at her carefully for a moment. Something doesn't seem right with her. She seems very off balance both emotionally and physically.
"Are you drunk?" I ask as I look at her and she rolls her eyes.
"No," she quickly denies.
"You seem like it," I say and she shrugs.
"I did have a little to drink but I'm not drunk," she says and I frown.
"Did you drive here?" I ask and she shrugs again.
"Yeah," she says and I sigh.
I hold my bowl in one hand as I move out of the doorway and open the door wider. "Come in and have some coffee before driving home please," I say and she looks at me like I'm crazy.
"I'm not coming into your apartment. I just want you to take the book," she says impatiently and I roll my eyes.
"I'm not taking the book and I'm also not letting you drive home drunk," I say and she groans.
"I told you I'm not drunk. I just had a few drinks," she says and I feel myself starting to get upset.
"I honestly don't give a fuck how many drinks you had, you don't look okay to drive right now and I don't want you on the road. It only takes a little bit of alcohol to impair you enough to make it unsafe to drive. Just because you think it's safe doesn't mean it is. It's that kind of fucking thinking that gets people killed. Now get in the damn apartment, Jenny!" I say and she quietly stares back at me, eyes wide.
"Okay..." she quietly says as she wraps the book back up in brown shipping paper and puts it in her purse before walking into the apartment.
I walk towards the kitchen with her quietly following behind me. "Sit," I say as I point to the counter and she quietly sits on one of the stools. "Here, eat this," I say as I offer her my bowl.
"Thanks..." she says as she takes it from me. "What is it?"
"Kimchi stew. It's good, just eat," I say as I go and start a pot of coffee. I watch for a moment as she silently eats. "How is it?" I ask curiously.
"It's really spicy but delicious," she says and I silently laugh as I get her a bowl of rice and pour her a cup of coffee. She silently eyes me as I walk over to her and place the cup and bowl in front of her. "I don't think I have ever seen you so mad before," she says and I shrug.
"Well, it's not really something I take lightly," I say and she looks at me curiously.
"Why?" she asks before taking a sip of her coffee.
"Why do I think drunk driving is wrong?" I ask with a raised brow and she shakes her head.
"I mean, why get so worked up about it?" she asks and I fold my arms across my chest as I lean my hip against the counter.
"Because I don't want you to kill someone. Or worse, be killed yourself...." I trail off as I look at her. "... and because my mother was killed by a drunk driver," I say quietly as I look back at her and see a sad look cross her face.
"I'm so sorry, Parker. I had no idea," she says and I shrug my shoulder.
"Don't worry about it. Just eat and drink your coffee, when you have sobered up you can go," I say and she laughs a little.
"You know the coffee thing doesn't really work right? It still takes hours to sober up either way," she says and I shrug.
"Then call a cab or something. I'm not going to let you drive home. In fact give me your keys," I say as I put out my hand.
She looks at my out-stretched hand with a raised brow. She probably doesn't think I'm serious but I am. She sighs and reaches into her purse when she sees I'm not backing down.
"Can I borrow your phone? Mine is dead," she says as she hands me her car keys.
I sigh and pull my phone out of my pocket before handing it to her.
"Thanks," she says and I nod.
"No problem. You can wait here until your cab comes. I'm going to take a shower. Leave my phone before you go and don't forget to take your book," I say before walking out of the room.
I know I just took a shower a little over an hour ago but right now my heart is beating really fast and I need to relax and calm down.
It takes me twenty minutes in the shower before I finally feel calm. I climb out of the shower and re-dry my hair and put my clothes back on. By the time I walk back out to the kitchen I totally expect Jenny to be gone so you can imagine my surprise when I see her still sitting at the counter.
"Your cab still hasn't come?" I ask from the entryway to the kitchen and her head turns to look at me.
"I didn't get one," she says quietly and I look at her with a raised brow.
"Why?"
"I don't know..." she trails off. I quietly look at her for a moment. She seems to be struggling with something. "Do you love me?" she suddenly asks.
I silently stare back at her in shock for a moment as I think about what to say. "Jenny, I can't... we shouldn't be doing this," I say and she looks at me curiously.
"You aren't going to deny it?" she asks as I just silently look back at her. "When you were breaking up with me you said you promised Raegan you would end things if you even felt like you were going to fall in love with me, but you said you didn't. You said you broke your promise. It's been eating at me for a while, does that mean you are in love with me?" she asks again.
"I... it doesn't matter," I say and she gives me a serious look.
"It matters," she says and I shake my head.
"No, it doesn't. It doesn't change anything, Jenny," I say and the serious look on her face grows.
"It matters to me. Are you in love with me, Parker?" she asks once again. The intensity with which she is looking at me right now is indescribable.
I hesitate as I look back at her. "Yes..." I say quietly.
"How long?" she immediately asks and I swallow the lump in my throat.
"Too long," I say and she smiles at me sadly.
"I suddenly wish you didn't say it," she says and I nod.
"I know... me too," I say and she laughs a little.
"I love you too," she says with that same sad smile.
I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. "Jenny..." I start to say as I open my eyes to look at her but stop when I see her getting off the stool. "What are you doing?"
"I don't know," she says as she takes a few steps towards me.
"Jenny, don't!" I warn her as she keeps walking towards me. I watch, unable to move as she gets closer with each step. I should turn and walk away. I know this, but when she closes the gap between us and takes the sides of my face into her hands I know it's too late.
She gently caresses my cheek with her thumb and I close my eyes and take a deep breath as I find myself leaning into the all too familiar feeling of her touch. I feel her lean her forehead against mine and I know that I should stop this but I can't seem to move.
I open my eyes and see her's looking back into mine. My breath hitches in my throat as she smiles at me before slowly leaning in and bringing her lips to mine.
The second her lips are on mine I start kissing her back. At this point kissing her is like an instinct. It's not even something I think about, it's just something I do.
I grab onto her hips as she moves her hands into my hair before wrapping her arms around my neck as she kisses me faster. The kiss gets more and more heated as it becomes harder and harder to resist her but as she runs her tongue on my bottom lip I know I have to.
"No," I breathe as I pull away from her. "We can't do this."
"We already are," she says as she tries to lean in and kiss me again but I shake my head.
"No. This needs to stop," I say as I move my hands off her hips. She unwraps her arms from around my neck and takes a step back from me.
"Is that what you want? Do you really want me to stop?" she asks as she looks at me carefully.
"You're drunk, Jenny," I say and she laughs a little.
"I'm not that drunk. I'm more than sober enough to know what I'm doing and that I want this," she says as she moves back towards me. "If you don't want me then say it now," she says as she looks deep into my eyes.
I have to say something, anything to end this, but I say nothing. As I look back into her eyes I can't bring myself to say I don't want her. I can't lie to her.
Of course I want her. I love her.
Jenny waits a minute for me to say something but I still haven't. I just continue to silently look into her eyes and she smiles as if she knows what I'm thinking at this very moment.
She leans into me once again and I hold my breath in anticipation. One side of me knows better; it knows this shouldn't be happening, but the other side of me is screaming let it happen.
I don't know what side is winning out, both seem equally strong. I feel stuck. It's like the two halves of my heart are at war with each other and I can't do anything to stop it. I can't bring myself to fight back.
As Jenny's lips connect with mine I just surrender myself over to her and the moment. As I'm kissing her I know this is wrong and I feel horrible about it but I don't have the power to fight what I feel for her. Not now. Not anymore.
I grab her hips and pull her against me. She deepens the kiss as she places her hands on my sides and starts pushing me back and towards the hall.
She keeps pushing me until my back hits the wall. I reach behind me and try to open the door to the guest room without taking my lips off of hers. I flip her around as I push her into the room.
I quickly start to unbutton her shirt as I pull away and start kissing her neck. I hear her breathing heavy as I push her shirt off her shoulders and move to undo her bra. The second it hits the floor with her shirt I lean down and kiss my way from her chest to her breasts. She moans loudly as I take her nipple between my lips and run my tongue around it. I draw small circles with my tongue before starting to suck.
I move back up and kiss Jenny deeply before pushing her back on the bed. I straddle her hips before bringing my lips back on to hers. I feel her starting to push my shirt up so I pull away and remove my shirt. I look down at her and see her biting her lip as she looks me over. I'm not wearing a bra so she is getting a full unobstructed view right now. I smirk as I start to lean back down towards her but before I can kiss her again she flips me over on the bed.
I look back at her in surprise and she smirks at me before bringing her lips back on to mine. I reach for the button on her jeans and undo it before pulling down the zipper, I push her pants down her hips a little before trailing my hand inside.
"No fair," she moans as she pulls away from me and rests her head on my shoulder.
I laugh a little as I move her hair away from her beautiful face. "I would think you would know how this goes by now, babe," I say as I work my fingers between her legs. "When I'm done you can have your turn," I say and she moans into my shoulder.
I'm starting to think she surrendered herself over to me when she suddenly lifts her head up and smirks at me.
"How about," she says as she trails her hand down my stomach. "How about we just go at the same time?" she asks as she trails her hand into my sweatpants.
A loud moan escapes my lips as she touches me. I close my eyes tightly as I try and focus on her pleasure rather than my own.
With my eyes still closed tight I feel her take the side of my face into her free hand and a few seconds later I feel her lips moving against mine once again.
I pull my hand back and try to push her pants down farther. She chuckles against my lips as I struggle at this angle. She pulls her hand out of my pants and moves back so she can remove hers.
"You too," she says with a smirk as she looks back at me. I roll my eyes as I take off my pants, allowing her eyes to roam over my body for a moment.
"Is that a new tattoo?" she asks as she looks at newly inked letters on the side of my ribs.
"Uh-huh," I say as I pull her back down towards me.
"When did you get that?" she asks curiously and I laugh a little as I look back at her.
"In Korea. It's something I wanted for a while," I say and she nods.
"It's not Korean though, is it?" she asks and I chuckle as I shake my head.
"No, it's Japanese," I tell her.
"What's it say?" she asks and I look back at her in amusement.
Sometimes I think this woman's curiosity is way too strong. I don't think that the thought of waiting to ask until after we had sex even crossed her mind. Her endless curiosity is something I love about her but even I think there's a time and place.
"Omoide wa anata no karada o uchigawa kara atatamete kuremasu. Demo sore todōjini anata no karada o uchigawa kara hageshiku kirisaite ikimas," I say and she laughs a little.
"And what does that mean in English?" she asks curiously. I shake my head as I reach up and take the side of her face into my hand as I bring her lips down on to mine.
I kiss her for a moment before pulling away and resting my forehead on hers.
"Memories are what warm you up from the inside. But they're also what tears you apart," I say with a small smile as I stare back into her beautiful eyes. "Its a quote by Haruki Murakami. If you haven't read his work you should," I say and she smiles back at me.
"That's really deep," she says and a small laugh escapes my lips as I nod.
"It is," I say as my hand travels back down her stomach and between her legs. "Now are we going to keep talking or are we going to get back to what we were just doing?" I ask and she moans in response.
She quickly brings her lips back on to mine as her hand moves back between my legs.
I try to hold off on my own orgasm as I try and make her pleasure last as long as possible but before I know it we are both cumming.
I pull away from her, breathing heavy as I ride out my high. Neither of us have had very long to recover when I suddenly feel her start to kiss her way down my body.
"Jenny..." I moan out as she kisses her way down my stomach and gets between my legs.
She lovingly kisses the inside of my thigh before moving her head in between them. I close my eyes tight as her tongue runs through me.
Soft moans push past my lips as she seems to try to get her fill of me. I'm still so sensitive that even the slightest touch is enough to drive me crazy, so what she is doing to me right now is more than enough to make me go insane.
I run my fingers through her hair and hold her head against me as my toes begin to curl. She builds me up until I can no longer take it and I am quite literally screaming her name. She runs her tongue through me as I ride out my high for a minute before she starts kissing her way back up my body.
"You were getting a little loud there, baby," she says and I smile sheepishly at her.
"Sorry," I say and she smiles and laughs a little as she moves my hair out of my face.
"Don't be, I love it," she says before bringing her lips to mine. I moan as she pushes her tongue into my mouth allowing me to taste myself on her.
It is both to my pleasure and displeasure that the kiss is not long. As much as I love kissing her, after what she just put me through I need quite a few minutes to rest and her kissing me isn't helping.
When she pulls away from me she runs her thumb along my cheek and stares into my eyes for a moment. I smile at her and she smiles back before moving off of me and resting her head on my chest as I hold her in my arms.
I close my eyes and try really hard not to think as I try to just live in this moment with her.
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Author's Note:
I think this chapter probably made you guys pretty happy... and maybe some other things 😳.
*clears throat*
Chapter 29 is written, technically it was part of this chapter, but I'm not sure if I want to post it as is. I could have it up as soon as tomorrow or by the end of the week. I don't know. Best to just keep watch for it just in case.
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Thank you for reading. I hope you all have a good week ❤️