"Karna! you bastard snake!"
The thundering voice broke my sleep, in it Shon had just landed a bullseye but then the target dusted. It was a faint morning, the dew was starting to vanish when he shouted again. I didn't realize what was going on. The Acharya was standing before me with blood in his eyes, I've seen him angry when I failed in my training but this searing gaze was boiling my skin off. I noticed that my right lap was still bleeding when the congealed blood wet my finger with red colour, there was a swollen purple bulb on my thigh that I wanted to scratch and the 5 bees were lying down on the floor not moving.
"no brahmins could ever hope to withstand that pain without even a squeak.
Are you a Kshatriya Karna?
Are you here to steal my knowledge and teachings by impersonating as a Brahmin all these years?
You have always radiated a warmth like that of the sun. But I mistook it for your tej as would a Brahmin earns after his long meditation.
This tej and This aura can only belong to a royal blood. A Kshatriya'
You knew I hate Kshatriya's.
That's why you posed as a Brahmin.
I have vowed to never teach one and yet you made me break my own vow.
Betrayed my trust and stole all my teachings."
It was on of the few and far between times when I was scared out of my wits, like a cornered cat I just stood their comprehending the situation when the words that devastated the very thread of my life came.
"I curse you, Karna.
I curse you that you will forget every skill related to bow, sword, mace, spear and the fist ever learned. Every Astra and Shastra will betray you in a fight. You will not be able to withstand even a small fistfight."
Guru Parshurama was full of rage, If only he had his axe in hand, he would not hesitate to separate my head from my body. His blood was pouring in his eyes as he looked down upon me. But I couldn't do anything to calm his rage. After all, I was, the one who deceived him, maybe I deserved all this that has happened.
"Oh Acharya, Forgive me for my insolence and insubordination this time.
It is true that I have deceived you by faking as a Brahmin but I had no intention of stealing your teaching or betraying your trust.
It is true That I am no Brahmin but It is also true that I am no Kshatriya either. I am just a son of a small charioteer, A Sootputra.
When I came to you I was merely a child. Not knowing what's right, what's wrong. The consequences of my lie eluded me. I just wanted to earn your blessing and train my skills to the best with only one goal in mind, that is to be the Best Archer in the world.
Oh wise one, I have never betrayed your teachings and would have never done it.
I have always been your determined and diligent student. I always worked hard to be your best. I would've never misused the teachings that you have bestowed upon me. "
I said while bowing down before him and touching his feet.
"Still I will gladly accept this curse as your blessing and move forward.
for you are the first one aside from my family who have taken care of me.
You are the first one who has never looked down or discriminated against me.
All these 9 years of teachings, I will treasure them my whole life even if I can't use them anymore.
I know I can't be forgiven for what I have done but if you find it in your heart and for all these years of me as your student,
Please at least don't hate me, Acharya.
I will take my leave now Gurudeva for more of my presence will tarnish your aura."
I stood up and greeted my Guru for the last time and headed for the Ashram gates.
"Karna.........."
I heard a breaking voice.
"Please......."
It's definitely him. I turned back and saw that he was sitting in the previous spot.
"Come Here, Karna....."
I rushed off to him and bowed down.
"Yes, Acharya."
"Karna stand up."
As he ordered I stood up.
"Your leg is still bleeding and has swollen too.
here tie this around."
He just handed me the scarf that he always wore around him.
"But Acharya I can't...."
"Just do it, Karna, please don't increase my guilt."
I took the scarf and did as he told me.
"Now I believe my sleep was still a little short,
Would you mind if I complete it on your lap as before."
"Of course not, Acharya"
We sat down Like before but with the scarf now tied to my leg. Acharya closed his eyes and went to sleep................ or so I thought.
"Karna, It is true that you have been a great student all these years, in fact after Bhisma I have never had the pleasure of tutoring anyone of your calibre.
Karna, I humbly ask your forgiveness" Guru parshrama said, his eyes were still closed.
"I jumped to a conclusion too soon without even thinking and cursed by best student yet.
My hatred for Kshatriya's blinded me from seeing the whole truth.
I had thought that after all these years I have forsaken or at least controlled my anger towards the ones who had destroyed my family but at last, it turned out to be a lie.
Karna, I was a little worried to tell you but after seeing your confession and your true feelings about me, I have no doubt that you will turn out to be a great warrior.
Though you still lied to me, but you studied and learned with all your might all these years.
Your progress is exceptional, I am not even afraid to admit now, that in some skills you have even surpassed me a little while ago.
In fact, you are the Greatest Archer currently present second only to my own Guru Lord Mahadeva himself.
No one in this mortal realm can defeat you in Archery.
I am proud of Karna. "
Acharya said standing. He looked towards the Mount Om and continued.
I was so happy to hear those words. Acharya was proud of me. My heartfelt warm like the cold had just left its grip from it.
"Look at me, a fool who cursed his own student fully aware of his untapped potential and talents or......... maybe it was jealousy that took hold of me in that instant.
Karna, I have not forgiven you for lying to me,
though I will acknowledge your persistence and determination more than make up for it.
I can't revoke my curse from you but I will reduce it's effect so that you can use the skills and teachings you've earned all these years.
Karna, I now proclaim that when the time is appropriate and when you are the most Vulnerable in your life you will forget all the teachings bestowed and all the divine weapons will betray you from that point onward.
I'm sorry Karna but this must be your punishment. I can't lighten it more than this."
Acharya said, his head was not looking at the mountain now instead it was gazing the grass on his feet.
"Thank you, Acharya, I will never forget your Kindness ever.
Acharya before I go, I have one more important duty as a student.
Since I am not a Brahmin I have a duty to offer you, Guru Dakshina.
Acharya order what you will,
I will not hesitate to even give my life if you ask." I requested my Guru for considering lightening the curse.
"Guru Dakshina! Do you still think that I deserve any, after the things I have done."
"Guru please don't shame me, A Guru Dakshina is your right.
Please command, I will give you anything within my power." I asked my guru touching his feet.
"How can you still be so polite, so humble, how can you put a smile and give so much to a man who has just cursed you for life.
Karna, I don't deserve your Dakshina, but if you are still determined, give it to the others.
Donate, help out and give charity to the needed in your and my name, so that I can atone for the sin that I have done today."
"Of course Acharya, I will do as you say."
Guru Parshurama was now holding my shoulders with his two hands and picking me up.
"Karna, Before you go I have something I want to give you as a Guru to his Student."
Guru loosened his grip and with his right arm held in the air started chanting. From the chant, I could deduce that he was asking Mahadeva for his blessing and assistance. But assistance for what I didn't know.
He extended his right arm in front of him. It was a clear morning. Swallows were chirping, a morning call for the start of the day but they were overlapped as soon as he took a deep breath. Guru had summoned all the fireflies in the forest around his hand, but these were blue, not green. On a closer look, there weren't any fireflies at all, they were just like small sparkles of stars twinkling around his hand.
Something has started to take shape, The small balls of blue lights started merged with each other and became solid yet translucent. Then those bunched up suddenly started to glow more brightly. A sleek bow now rested on Guru's hand. It looked like it was made of blue glass. The bow shined in the orange light of the sun. It wasn't that thick but was easily grippable. But the strange thing was that it had no strings to pull.
"Karna, This is my own bow bestowed upon me by Guru Mahadeva himself.
As long as this bow is with you on the battlefield, no warrior can hope to beat you.
That is the reason that this bow is named Vijaya.
The Vijaya Bow.
Use it in a battle where you acknowledge the enemy as your equal or stronger.
As long as you command this bow it will bring you victory for sure."
"Thank you for your blessing, Acharya."
I accepted the bow with both my hands. It was cold to touch yet somehow comfortable to grip. I felt like it had gripped my hands. Soon it was absorbed in me through my hands and my mind was suddenly imbued with a new chant. The chant to invoke the bow.
"Karna this will be the last time we see each other.
I might not have been the guru you deserved but you were every bit of the student I needed.
From today onwards I proudly proclaim that you will be known as ParshuramaShishya."
"The honour is too much for me Acharya." I didn't know how to explain what I was feeling, on the one hand, I had just received a curse but on the other, the Greatest Guru on earth has just acknowledged me as his student.
The emotions were toying with me that day, but One thing was certain, this was my last day in the Ashram. I knew that I'll leave it one day to fly out like any falcon does but never thought that it would come so soon.
"Now you must go, Karna.
Your destiny awaits you.
Be brave, Be fearless and always be aware of the possibilities."
...............................
With a despiritful heart in my hands, I descended from the valley towards the nearest village. Acharya had already left for the summit when I was packing. Maybe he didn't want to see me at the gates. maybe he didn't want me to see his face. Either way, the Ashram was lonely. I didn't look at it like that before. Now that I think about it, It was only me and Acharya all these years in this Ashram, all those defeats and a few rare victories raced in the halls of my mind. Thank You, I thought. Maybe I'll get to see it again.
The village had come in sight. I had already changed into my normal clothes. No point in disrespecting the Brahmins any more.
The village was small. It only had a few dozen houses excluding the ones used by merchants. The land was surrounded by crops and grazing areas. The sound of cows and chickens can be heard from a distance. The life in the village had already started buzzing. It was my first interaction with a village in a long while. In the Ashram, we were often visited by brahmins and villagers who sometimes brought offerings with them. But all of that was when I was a Brahmin and now I was one of them again.
My heart constantly thumped for seeing my home, my brother, my parents. How have they been all these years? Will they even recognize me now? Will they even forgive me? For now, my train of thought was like a river. No matter how hard I tried they constantly took the path that suited them the most. The journey will take around four months, but I was a little afraid of the destination. The long journey felt a little relieving without worrying about the people I'll have to face at its end.
After travelling for some weeks I had reached the forest of Reech that I crossed on my way to Om Parvat. Bear King Jambhvat was delighted to see me again. He cared for me and fulfilled my need for food and water before returning me on my path. Jambhvati was nowhere to be found though. When I enquired he said that she had already married and went to her new husband. It was a little disheartening but I was happy to hear that she has her own family now.
I was on the outskirts of the forest when the sun decided to go dark. I camped near a river beneath a tree. Laying on my bed and eating the fruits I received. When suddenly I heard the rustling in the nearby bushes. It was night time and no one was in sight. Thinking that it's a forest animal I tried to locate it through its sound. The gulping as it drank water from the river bed was faintly audible. It was a good chance to practice my shabdbhedi technique(Locating target with sound only.) I aimed my arrow in the direction of the gulping and closed my eyes. I could faintly picture the deer or tiger but the sound that came was nothing that I expected.
I jumped to verify while calming my heart but my fear came true. A dead white cow now laid on the ground beside the bank. My arrow protruding its heart. Its blood flowing with the waters of the river.
I acted too hastily. I asked for forgiveness by bending my knees. Multiple thoughts and questions were arising in my mind. What was a cow doing here at this hour in the forest? The cow had a rope around her neck. Clearly, she was owned by someone. How can its owner let it roam so freely at night? But no matter my reasoning the fault was mine. I had committed a grave sin. I would have to atone for it. Maybe someone from the nearby village would know. I dug a grave and sprinkled some river water at the body and asked for peace from the gods and then pushed its body in the rectangular hole.
The sleep eluded me that night. I was preparing my mind and words for tomorrow. The punishment will be hard but I will make sure that the villager is properly compensated. At day-break, I left the spot in search of any human signs. But the nearest establishment that I could find was not a village but a small Ashram. It wasn't as big as Drona's but still bigger than the one where I trained for my half childhood. It only had a few elder Brahmins and their wives who were now busy cleaning and cooking for the sages. I stopped in front of one of the children who was playing with the stick and mud. I was afraid to ask him about the cow. I didn't think the cow would belong to a Brahmin. Many Kings have suffered their whole lives and died horrible deaths just for mistakenly disrespecting a Brahmin. I don't want to be one of them. The matter was serious now, very serious. I was afraid the boy would point to one of the old sages here. He directed me to a small hut that was half-hidden from view by The central tree of the Ashram.
Each step towards the hut felt like an impending doom that was about to occur. My feets told me to turn, My heart told me to run. No one knew I had killed it. I could avoid all this uneasiness if I just change my direction. But I couldn't let my fears take a grab of me. I sterned my mind. As a warrior and as a man I couldn't abandon the consequences of my actions, a fool. My heart was heavy as though tied to a boulder that was pulling it down in a sinkhole. I secured the leash around my heart and readied my mind to face the results of my actions as I entered the hut.
The hut had only a sage sleeping in it. I didn't dare to disturb his sleep, instead, I'll wait till he wakes. It wasn't long before the Lady of the house came back. She was carrying a pot filled with water probably from the river. I explained my desire to speak with sage inside. She was very kind and genuinely invited me in their humble abode. I sat on one of the carpets as she woke her husband from his slumber.
"Oh wise one, My name is Karna.
I am a traveller and an Archer. Currently heading to my destination a little away from here."
" Relax brave warrior what can this little Brahmin do to help you." The sage said in a soft voice.
After hearing the story, The lively atmosphere from a second ago fell silent. The maiden of the house fell into disarray. She started crying and hid her face from both me and her husband.
"I know I have made a grave sin, I don't deserve your forgiveness for that.
However, I promise that I will do anything within my power to restore as much as I can and if possible even more." I pleaded on my knees.
"You call yourself a warrior?" the Brahmin spoke rising from the bed.
"Killing a defenceless member of my family.". His voice rising in pitch
"What did shabri ever do to you?
We both had raised her as our own from when she was little.
Last night she ran away from the Ashram. We were both so worried about her.
Having no child, we found our solace in her.
She was our only means of survival.
She was the world to us.
And You just became the architect of its destruction."
The whole Ashram was on standstill now. Everyone had left their work and diverted their attention to the lonely hut.
"Forgive me for calling you brave.
For braves don't attack helpless.
You're a coward who shoots from a distance."
He reached for the water in his small brass mug.
"I curse you.
With the power bestowed on me by the gods, I curse you that like you have killed a helpless today you will die a helpless on the battlefield. No one will be there by your side. A death fit for a coward."
The sprinkled water burned like acid on touching my skin. But it wasn't the hot water that hurt. It was the words of the curse. I offered myself on sage's feet, my forehead touching the ground.
"Oh wise one, I am not afraid of death as it is already a part of my life.
But.....
Don't let my death be like one of a butchered.
Let my death be of a warrior, fighting in battle.
Cause what's the life of a soldier or a warrior if you can't die like one.
Please oh kind one, I beg you to at least lighten your curse"
I pleaded like a mad man but all that pleading fell to a deaf ear. He never even spoke a word to me after that. It's like I never existed in the first place. If I can't die a glorious death then what was the point of yearning all these years. If I don't get acknowledged at the end then what was the point of breaking my bones till they became unbreakable.
My heart was shattered. I don't remember how I completed the rest of the journey. The only thing that came to mind was the curses that I had received. First my Guru and then the Brahmin. My life was already in shambles before it even began. How could I face anyone now let alone my family? Should I live knowing that the impending death is the final chapter of my life or should I end it now saving myself from the heinousness of a future?