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VALOR
i. SLEEPLESS NIGHTS
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THE YEAR IS 2013, but to Riley O'Dair, every day felt like the Battle of New York was just yesterday.
In all fairness, the days were flying by. Maybe that's just what happens when you're kept busy for essentially every waking moment of your life. Though, the weird part that no one ever talks about is that no matter how busy you are or how fast the time goes by, sometimes you can't help but think about the past.
Riley did that more often than she liked to admit. She thought about her biological parents and their untimely deaths; she thought about her training; she thought about her spiteful coworkers who still seemed to dislike her after all these years. Today (and for the past year), Riley had been thinking about the Battle of New York.
Well, that and also the fact that she wished her closest friend wasn't a grown man.
Riley eyed the famous Iron Man as she leaned against the table that stood between them. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?" she wondered as Tony Stark tinkered with a random invention he was working on. "Because it looks like you don't."
Tony hardly glanced up at her. "I'm sorry, which one of us is barely five feet tall?" he retorted. "Now, check the flow meter rate for me, yeah?"
"I'm just saying..." Riley trailed off, stepping away to read the monitor closest to her. "Just 'cause you can make a bunch of fancy suits doesn't mean you know how to make a self-functioning toolbox." The idea behind the invention was that the toolbox would contain every tool Tony ever needed. It would merely give him what he needed as he called for it rather than having to retrieve it himself.
"When?" Tony suddenly asked.
The 12-year-old glanced over her shoulder, perplexed. "When, what?" she inquired.
"When did I ask?"
The past year had been hard for Tony and Riley. For Riley, she was still processing the fact that she'd already fought in a war, met aliens, been officially inducted as the youngest superhero in history, and faced countless deaths. On top of that, Riley was recently diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety, and she was now required to attend mandated therapy — courtesy of one guilt-ridden Director Fury. The therapy didn't help much, but it made Riley feel validated, seen, understood. That feeling was hard to come by, so whenever she found it, she clung onto it for dear life.
For Tony, he had nearly died in 2012 after sending that nuke through a wormhole. He didn't like talking about it, but his reactions to the topic whenever it arose were enough to tell Riley everything. He was traumatized, dealing with PTSD of his own. The two could relate to one another. Of course, add the fact that he recently "died", ended up in Tennessee, took on a villain called the Mandarin, removed the shrapnel that nearly went into his heart, broke up with his longterm girlfriend, and destroyed all of his suits...
Well, you could see why Riley believed he was on the brink of a mental breakdown.
Rolling her eyes, Riley scanned the monitor before her and read out some numbers to please the man. Then, she beckoned, "Hey, JARVIS, what time is it?"
"It's 2:23 AM, Miss O'Dair."
JARVIS was Tony's personal A.I. It stood for Just A Rather Very Intelligent System, which Riley found hilarious. She spoke to him often. It was a little strange at first, but Riley eventually got used to it. Riley made a face. "Didn't I tell you not to call me that?"
"Yes, but... it feels rather informal."
She smiled at JARVIS's response, continuing to observe Tony as he worked. This had become a regular thing between the two. Throughout the past year, Riley and Tony's sleeping habits had worsened. Their nightmares kept them up most of the time, and when they realized they both shared the same problem, Tony and Riley decided to simply hang out to kill the time. Riley usually ended up falling asleep in Tony's workspace, but she tried to stay up to keep him company nonetheless.
"Should I call you Valor, instead?" JARVIS added.
Riley shrugged as a yawn escaped her mouth. "Whatever floats your boat, Vis," she decided.
"Very well, Miss Valor."
Riley still wasn't quite used to being referred to by her newfound superhero counterpart. Sure, it had been a year, but it was strange to her. She was glad she got the chance to name herself. She wasn't given many opportunities to make her own choices in life, so being able to name herself was important to her.
The Avengers were widely talked about across the globe since the Battle of New York. Everyone wanted to learn more about these so-called defenders of the Earth. Why were the Avengers formed? Can we trust them? Are there others like the Avengers out there? Will there be another war in the future?
The people also wanted to know more about the youngest Avenger, Valor, but Riley was keen on keeping her identity a secret. She knew that if her coworkers treated her differently because of her past, the world would, too. It was just better this way.
The greatest question the people had was: Where are they now? Riley couldn't speak for the others in great detail. She hadn't had much contact with the outside world in the past year. Riley filled her days with nonstop training, hoping to further expand her powers and abilities. She threw herself into her work in hopes of distracting herself from her nightmares and the fact that Coulson and Roman were dead.
She never took deaths well — not after she was old enough to realize that she killed her parents. The guilt ate her alive every day, and she only felt worse knowing that she could have prevented Coulson and Roman's deaths. She wasn't entirely sure how, but she knew she could have made a difference.
All this to say, Riley had only recently stepped out of her year in isolation a few weeks ago. This was because Tony had basically forced her to visit him when neither of them could sleep one night. Spending time together working on various inventions was the highlight of their week.
Still, Riley was worried about Tony. They only spoke once about all that Tony had endured this last year, and that was it.
"So," started Riley, "I know I'm not allowed to ask you about Tennessee..."
"Uh-huh," replied Tony.
"Or the Mandarin."
"Yep."
"Or Pepper or your arc reactor," continued Riley. Tony faltered when he heard her name. Riley adored Pepper. She wished there was something she could do to bring them back together. "But... I just..."
Tony placed his tools down and looked up at the 12-year-old. Purple bags tugged on his tired eyes as he insisted, "Spit it out, Tink."
Riley pressed her lips into a line. She wasn't very good at expressing her feelings, not after Natasha's training. She wanted to tell Tony that she was there for him, that she empathized with what he was going through. But all she could get out was, "Has anyone ever told you that you should get more sleep?"
Tony seemed to stare at her for a long minute. Then, he snorted and sarcastically remarked, "No, never."
Oddly enough, Tony knew what the poor girl was trying to convey to him. Tony and Riley had developed a special kind of bond over the past few years, after all.
His response reminded Riley of Roman. Honestly, she thought about that brooding alien a lot. Was it stupid for Riley to feel so attached to someone she only knew for a month? Maybe. But, in her opinion, Riley felt like she really knew Roman, and he knew her (you know, because of his powers).
Of course, Riley thought about Coulson a lot, too. She liked to think that wherever he was, he was rooting for her alongside God in Heaven or other Gods and Titans in Valhalla... or something like that. Honestly, meeting Thor seriously screwed up Riley's perception of the afterlife.
"So, are you still using JARVIS for entertainment?" Tony wondered as he continued to work. "I should start charging you."
Riley and JARVIS had strangely bonded throughout the past year. Her original intention was to use JARVIS to talk to Tony, but JARVIS ended up being a better friend than Riley thought. It was weird to think about, but JARVIS had helped Riley feel more comfortable with being herself rather than a stone-cold agent. She had almost forgotten she was just a kid.
"Well, my paycheck comes from tax dollars, so you'd just end up paying yourself," Riley retorted. Her words were beginning to sound slower, slurred. The 12-year-old was very obviously falling asleep.
Meanwhile, Tony was wide awake. He knew Riley was fighting sleep to keep him company. He used to fight with her and force her to go take a nap in the guest room, but she'd always argue with him. Tony appreciated that, even if it sounded so simple and trivial.
He hummed and replied, "Fair enough. Hey, you think if I rewire the—?"
Tony stopped mid-sentence, glancing up to see Riley's face pressed against the table he'd been working at. Quiet snores left the girl. Huh. Maybe he had spoken too soon. She was fast asleep.
Riley had to keep reminding herself that she was more than just a kid, more than a charity case. She was more than a soldier or a weapon. She was Agent Riley O'Dair. She was Valor. She was a hero. Or, at least, she was trying to be one.
After all, fighting wars was hard. Her life was draining — physically and mentally. But Riley was going to try her best to be the best hero she could be. She owed it not just to her parents, but to herself.
Besides, Riley knew she didn't have to do it alone. It would take some getting used to, but Riley wasn't exactly alone anymore. The Avengers uniting for the first time showed her that she didn't have to be alone anymore.
She just had to figure out how to get used to it. Though, judging by the fact that she woke up the next morning in Tony Stark's guest bedroom, it didn't seem too hard.
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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
welcome to act two, baby!!! sorry this is a slow opening chapter - it honestly just felt right to take it easy right upfront. riley's spent the past year isolating herself from everyone outside of shield, training and trying to process the 2012 battle of ny.
in the past year, the events of iron man 3 occurred (quite recently before this chapter, which is why riley continues to express her worry for tony!!). since riley's been processing what happened in 2012, she wasn't active in that whole situation. i know, we all wanted to see her deal w/ the mandarin and meet harley, etc., but i didn't wanna take away from tony's journey of self-discovery and all that. it's a very important movie to tony's character, so making riley team up w/ him felt wrong to me.
BUT i'm super excited because the next chapter is where we'll dive into captain america: the winter soldier! i'm SO fucking pumped to write riley into this movie, mostly because it's one of my favorites out of the entire mcu. this movie is gonna cause a big shift in riley's character, which is always fun to write. ALSO i love writing riley's interactions with steve and nat (AND WE GET SAM AND BUCKY IN THIS MOVIE).
also i miss riley and tony and their late-night hang out sessions and me missing them was what inspired this chapter hehe. but anyways, onto tws!!!