"I am tired," Barr whined.
"I thought spirits didn't get tired," Dy shot back and looked at him over her shoulder.
"We do. I am tired now. So obviously we do."
"Come on. We have to make it to the next rest stop before it gets dark. Otherwise we'll never get out of Bursaaq."
I didn't wanna jump into this conversation. I was tired too. My stump was aching from the cold and I had to take my arm off and wrap the stump in Dy's woollen scarf. I couldn't focus on anything but that, so the conversation was a nice distraction. I just couldn't get myself to talk.
"Can we not just take a small break?" Barr asked and stopped. The bird chirped from its spot on top of his head.
"No. Not for another hour."
"I think Al needs a break," he said and nodded towards me.
I glanced at Dy and nodded. "I need a break."
"A short one then. Get something to drink too."
I nodded and dumped down into the snow. I was so damn exhausted.
Dy sat down next to me and unwrapped my stump. She winced and looked up meeting my gaze.
"This looks painful."
"It is..."
"We need to wrap it better. Otherwise the metal is going to get so cold, it'll give you frostbite. We really do need to hurry and get further south."
I nodded and let Dy wrap my arm up again. She blew hot air on it, just to get the skin heated up a bit before wrapping it. Her hands were warm too and I leaned my forehead against her shoulder while she worked.
"Is it too tight?"
"No, it's nice. Feels warmer already."
"Good. Okay, let's get back up again." She pulled me up and fitted her fingers in between mine. "Barr, up. Come on."
Barr groaned and pulled his backpack back on his back. We were all exhausted and this trip was going to kill us if we didn't get further south soon.
It got worse. Wind was pulling on my hair and biting my cheeks and the only shelter we had was behind a rock and it offered no shelter at all. There was nothing we could burn to start a fire, so all we could do was hurdle together very closely and wait for the storm to blow over.
I really hoped this wasn't one of those storms that lasted for days. It was too cold for that. It had to be too cold for that. We couldn't be that unlucky. It wouldn't be fair.
Barr was shaking excessively next to me and I pulled him closer. I wasn't sure if he could die from the cold, but I wasn't going to try either. He needed to connect with Quinn. I needed him to connect with Quinn. We didn't have time for storms and stupid Bursaaq!
"Do you hear that?" Dy yelled just so we could actually hear her voice.
"Hear what?" I yelled back.
"I hear something." She moved a little, bringing out one of her guns. She narrowed her eyes and stared out into the white wall of the snowstorm.
"I can't see anything. Barr, can you do something?"
He opened his eyes and looked tiredly up at Dy. He nodded slowly and turned his attention to the storm. His eyes turned completely black and he raised his hand towards the snow. It was as if the snowflakes started moving slower and slower. And then they simply... Stopped.
"Hurry. I can't hold it for long," he said with a strained voice.
Dy nodded and rose to her feet, leaving our little blanket cocoon. She stepped into the bubble of calm and looked around.
"I'm gonna go further, I'll be right back."
"Dy don't!" But she was already gone. I couldn't even see her.
And now I heard drums. Barr grabbed my hand and clenched it.
"Huldurfólk," he whispered and widened his eyes. He rose to his feet too. "We have to find her now, otherwise they're gonna drag her into a boulder and trap her there."
I didn't even wanna question that, even though it sounded ridiculous. I rose too and grabbed Barr's hand again, so we wouldn't become separated. He held his free hand out towards the snow, creating a pathway for us.
"Dy!" I screamed, desperate to find my girlfriend. I called her name again and again but got no answer. The drums were getting louder and louder and it was making my head ache. Barr said something but all I could hear were those damn drums.
And I hated drums.
Funeral drums.
Drums like the ones playing at my coronation.
The explosion.
I dropped to my knees and I couldn't breathe. It felt like my lungs collapsed and I couldn't stop coughing. The taste of dust came back to me. I could feel my arm burning.
I looked up and saw a figure in the snow. I knew that wasn't Dy. I rose to my feet, feeling something open in me. Like when Nila and I had connected. I drew on that inner power. The one that turned my blood blue.
I stepped out of Barr's protective bubble and held my own hand out towards the figure in the snow.
"Let my girlfriend go," I growled.
The creature screeched an inhumane scream and set off towards me. Black smoke poured out of my hand and slammed into the creature, encompassing it. I couldn't see for the smoke and snow what it was even supposed to look like, but I wasn't sad about that. Something told me I didn't want to know how they looked.
I heard shots and then Barr was by my side in his natural blue-skinned form. He grabbed my hand, and together we ran towards the sound of gunshots.
Dy was surrounded by dark shadows and she was shooting wildly at them. A bullet flew right towards Barr, but he just flicked his hand and it dropped to the ground.
I took a deep breath and slowly exhaled, catching all of the shadows with my smoke. For just a flash second, I felt them all. As if our hearts all took one collective beat and theirs stopped. Mine didn't. Mine kept beating but theirs stopped.
The storm slowly calmed until the snow was just softly falling from the sky. Dy stormed towards me, circling her arms around my neck and crushed me to her chest.
"I was afraid," she whispered.
"It's okay. I was afraid too," I whispered back.
She was panting and I remembered her breathing the same way as she carried me out of the stronghold. I dug my fingers into her jacket, and she tightened her grip on me.
"It is okay," Barr said and put a hand on each of our shoulders. "Come, let us go back to camp."
We both looked up at him and he smiled, his white teeth a very big contrast to his dark blue skin. We followed him back and he shook out the blanket for snow. He wrapped it tightly around himself as Dy and I sat down again.
"Fucking Huldurfólk. They are so rude," Barr huffed and opened his jacket, looking down at the little bird he hid there. "Do not worry baby, I will not let them take you," he murmured softly and scratched the bird's head with a single finger.
"I didn't think they were real," Dy said, staring at the ground. "Will they come back?"
"Probably yeah. But now they will just be curious. As long as we just sit here, we will be fine. But do not go following them. They will lure you into a boulder. Or off a cliff. We are on their land now. We are guests. So we have to treat them with respect."
"They weren't very respectful," I interjected.
"How respectful are you of people just wandering into your home?" Barr raised an eyebrow. "Anyways, they will be curious from now but keep themselves at a distance. I doubt they wanna try messing with me again. Or you." He smiled at me. "You did very well. But next time do not borrow my power please."
"I did?" I asked nervously. "I didn't mean to..."
"It is okay. I chose to lend it to you. But do not pull on it again. It is not yours."
"I'm sorry," I whispered and looked down at my hand. "I really didn't know."
"I will have to teach you how to do it, and how not to do it then." He sighed a little and grimaced. "It hurt like hell."
"I think she gets it, Barr," Dy said and narrowed her eyes at him.
Barr huffed and pulled the blanket closer around him again. "I am gonna sleep now."
"Good idea," Dy growled and pulled me closer to her. "Ignore him, Al. You didn't know."
I knew I didn't know. But that didn't mean it didn't feel absolutely shitty to be drawing on his power when he needed it just as much, or more than I did.
I had no control. I thought I did but apparently not.
And it made me feel terrible.
I also couldn't stop hearing that explosion in the back of my mind. The taste of dust still filled my mouth and my arm was aching. I was right back in the stronghold and it frightened me. Even when I got there, how would I react? If I ever made it home. Right now it seemed impossible to hope I'd ever get back home.
And it seemed even more impossible to think I'd ever feel comfortable in my own home again. It had been defiled by something so ugly and stolen my body from me. My innocence in many ways too. I felt like I had been a child before the explosion and now I wasn't anymore. It felt like I had grown twenty years older, even though it had barely been a year since Dy and I made it out of Andaheim.
It felt like way more.
The snow was getting a little less... Snowy. We were finally heading south, and I could see the mountains acting as a border between Paamut and Bursaaq in the distance. It lit a fire under me. I couldn't wait to leave Bursaaq and never return to that shithole of a country.
It felt like everyone breathed a little easier too. Barr and Dy seemed a little brighter and Barr's bird was back on top of his head, scouting the road ahead of us.
And it was an actual road now. Not just us battling our way through the damn snow. No, someone had laid a gravel road here and it made walking so much easier.
I felt a little lighter too. I could wear my arm again without fearing the metal would freeze my skin off.
"Hey Barr," Dy said, breaking the monotone sound of our footsteps.
"Yeah?"
"Are there dragons up here?"
"Sure! But they are shy."
Both Dy and I stopped dead in our tracks. Barr stopped too and arched a brow at us.
"What did I say now?"
"Uh..." I glanced up at Dy.
"I have this friend who says a dragon bit off his leg. And like... We don't really believe dragons exists."
"That is just silly. They are real. And they can get snappy too. Sorry about your friend's leg. He probably wandered too close to a nest."
Dy snorted and shook her head. We both definitely owed Huck an apology when we made it back to Aatskina.
We pressed on and finally made it to the first southern Bursaaq village. It was very small. Just a handful of houses and no one bothered us as we walked through. Its population was a lot more mixed than Bursaaq's capital. There was every shade of brown visible in their skin and not everyone had that snow-white hair either.
"Dy, how come this village is so not... Just Bursaaq?"
"Not everyone believes in the same as the assholes in the capital," Dy replied. "No one's a hive mind, Al."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, the way you explained Bursaaq culture made it sound like everyone were under that conviction."
"Nah, it's not everyone. The closer you get to Paamut, the more like Paamut they become. Paamut is very mixed too. Like Andaheim. Because of the big harbour in Paasmut and the traders and stuff. Some of that bleeds into Aatskina too. But to the north west they don't want anything to do with anyone but themselves."
"It sounds ridiculous," Barr noted. "Humans care about very odd things." He scratched his arm and looked down.
"Yeah, some do." Dy shrugged a shoulder and pulled her backpack up a bit, shifting its weight from one shoulder to the other. "What do spirits care about?"
"Life. In all aspects. We love life." He smiled very widely, and the bird chirped in agreement.
"If only our world was as simple." I ran my hand through my hair.
"Well, it can be. With yours and Quinn's help. We pulled out because it became too complicated. We did not want to deal with that. But we are giving it another try."
"Hopefully we can make a difference that satisfies all parties."
"I think that's utopian thinking. We have to find a way to piss off the least people." Dy smirked a bit at me and we started walking again.
"How do we get through the mountains?" Barr asked after a while of walking.
"There's a road through it. Most of the time it's on ground-level so we won't have to go on any hikes or anything."
"That's a relief. I don't think I'd make a good hiking buddy," I said and chuckled.
"Damn and here I thought we'd go on all these romantic hikes together."
"Romantic and hikes don't go together in my world, Dy, I'm afraid."
She grabbed my hand and gave it a soft squeeze. "But I know such beautiful spots in Aatskina though. You'd love to see some of those places, I'm sure."
"If we can get there by car, I'm all in. If not, sorry babe. It's not happening."
Dy chuckled. "We'll see. I have my ways."
She could believe I'd do it, but I knew I wouldn't. This would be the very last time I travelled on foot. Walking sucked. Exercising sucked. When I came back to the stronghold, I'd just grow super fat and then no one would force me to walk. I'd just lay in bed and eat all day. Who would tell me no? I was the queen.