Tanjiro: Huh? Someone drew a story about me? Cool! I can't believe I'd be a protagonist of a story! Is that Kanao? Why isn't she wearing anything?
Nezuko: MPHHHHHH *Mphko abbreviated: HE'S MY BIG BROTHER!*
Inosuke: WHAT?! LESS CUDDLING! MORE FIGHTING! THIS IS GROSS!
Zenitsu: N...n...n..n..n...n...n...n Nezuko! Does this mean you love me?! And why am I with that sound guy?! I hate giant muscle guys!
Kanao: Tanjiro, forgive me. *Emotions disappear* I will need my coin back, now.
Giyuu: Shinobu, why are you doing that to me?
Shinobu: *Jabs Giyuu in both eyes*
Tengen: Hmm? WHY IS MY STAGE BEING SHARED WITH THAT BLOND BOY?! I HAVE THREE WIVES, YOU KNOW!
Rengoku-san: I see! With Kamado, then?! Well, I refuse! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAA!
Iguro: Wh...wh... what? KANROJI, DON'T LOOK!
Mitsuri: NOW I CAN NEVER GET MARRIED!!!
Iguro: Why did you read it to the end, then?
Mitsuri: I got curious! *sobs*
Gyomei-san: I... I don't... see any... of me... *cries* The powerful must endure, in the name of the weak.
Muichiro: *Doujinshi is on the ground and he stares at clouds*
Sanemi: Wh... HWHAT?! GENYA?! HOW DARE YOU?!!!! *Rips doujin to pieces, then devours the shrapnels*
Genya: What? What did I do, aniki?
Sanemi: STAY BACK, IDIOT! I'LL HANDLE THIS!!!