"Wh-Hahahaha!" Lisa suddenly laughed after hearing the confession which made Jennie frown her eyebrows deeply.
"Why are you laughing?" Jennie asked in confusion and slightly annoyance.
"If I hadn't known you better, maybe I already believed your words. That's just great, Nini-ah! Even I never thought you would be the one who would propose- I mean, shouldn't be the man to be the one to propose his woman? Oh well, maybe you just love him too much that you willing to replace his task." Lisa took Jennie's hand from her face and pulled it down.
"It's good by the way! I'm sure he would say yes in an instant!" Lisa added and ruffled Jennie hair lovingly.
'So she thought that words I said were nothing but a practice? That I would say it to my boyfriend but I used her as an example of the experiment? How could she?'
"Nini?" Lisa waved her palm in front of Jennie's face.
"No! You misunderstood it, Lis! I did it not because-" Lisa cut Jennie and gestured her to wait since her phone rang.
Lisa answered it and walked steps away from Jennie. It seemed like God didn't bless Jennie to do the confession right here and now since there were too many obstacles that prevented her from saying her feelings out loud to Lisa.
"Sorry. Seulgi called and asked for Cost Allocation data. Let's go have dinner and I will drive you home afterward." Lisa walked first followed by the dejected Jennie.
'Is it Karma? Am I destined to not ever say what I feel for her through words? It surely hurts- At least when she courted me, she had so many chances to say that she loved me. It's just me that too stupid to even let my heart speak for her.' Jennie sighed sadly.
They went to dinner near Jennie's apartment. Lisa said it would be more practical if having dinner near Jennie's place so the older woman could reach her place faster and have a proper rest soon.
Jennie whose mood had been ruined could only nod her head nonchalantly.
Lisa asked what happened with Jennie but the older woman didn't say anything about it. Having an experience of being ignored made Lisa used to various Jennie's attitude.
Lisa let Jennie had her moment and didn't say much during the dinner.
"I have fun! And thank you for letting me having a day off. I really appreciate it." Lisa said when they reached Jennie's apartment.
"It's okay." Jennie forced a smile.
"Are you okay, Nini? You're not sick, aren't you?" Lisa reached out her hand and touched Jennie's forehead.
Jennie shuddered from that mere touch.
"Your body temperature is fine. Maybe you just feel tired. You need to go inside and have a rest. I'll see you at work tomorrow. Good night." Lisa took her spare helmet from Jennie's hand and turned her body around, intending to go back to her bike.
"I-I think the dizziness goes back. I-I'm not feeling well." Jennie nervously stated.
Jennie bit her lower lips hard, hoping Lisa would change her mind and showed her caring attitude just like last year. She knew she looked so shameless and it's like she didn't have any pride any longer, unlike the usual her.
But Chaeyoung's word had penetrated her too deep that she wouldn't and couldn't let her logic lead her again. Instead, all of her changes were caused by her heart; her honest heart that didn't want to let Lisa go.
"Ah- So that's why! Let's go to doctor then! I'm afraid it's not just normal headache. You seriously need to get checked appropriately!" Lisa said worriedly.
She turned her body again and hurriedly ran to Jennie.
"N-no. I'm sure its normal headache. Maybe you are right, I just need proper rest. I don't want to trouble you. You can go home if you want." Push and pull game was one of Jennie's talent and she could proudly say that she's great with that.
"Perhaps its because I didn't use jacket when riding with you. Yeah, I'm sure that's why." Jennie abruptly added.
"Ah! You're right! I'm sorry that I forgot to lend you my jacket. Let's go inside then!" Lisa grabbed Jennie's wrist and pulled her inside the building.
"E-eh? But what are you doing? I can do just fine by myself." Jennie said not so honestly.
"Nah! I won't let you stay alone! What if something bad happens to you when I'm not around? I'll assure you that I won't go anywhere until you're healthy! I will accompany you through the night." Lisa said firmly.
Jennie smiled contently, knowing that her plan had worked.
"Ah! But that if you let me of course- if I'm only a bother to you, then I will go home and maybe check about your condition through the phone once in a while-" Lisa halted her movement.
She suddenly realized that it's not her place to care about Jennie.
She already had a lover and so did she. It meant, her boyfriend should be the one to decide what Jennie should do, not her.
"No! You won't be a bother to me! If it's okay with you, I want to be accompanied through the night. I'm afraid my headache will be worse and I don't have anyone around to help me." Jennie said too enthusiastically that Lisa could only stare at her confusingly.
"I-I mean if you want to." Jennie realized her mistake and hung her head shyly.
"Sure!" Lisa chuckled and took Jennie's hand before walking hand in hand toward the elevator.
-----------------------------------
"Lis, you can change into this. I'm sure wearing that won't be comfortable." Jennie gave Lisa freshly washed pajamas.
"Thank you." Lisa took the pajamas and smiled.
She then went to the bathroom to get change while Jennie was waiting in the living room.
The older woman thought hard how to act flawlessly so Lisa would stay with her for more than one night. She knew it's dirty and dishonest to pretend to be sick just to have Lisa accompany her, but what else she could do aside from this?
"Nini" Lisa called.
"Yes?" Jennie tilted her head while pretending to massage her temple.
"Have you told your boyfriend about your headache? Maybe he is worried too, you know." Lisa asked.
"I will tell him later. I don't want to disturb his work just because of this. I still can handle it, Lis. I'm a strong woman, remember?" Jennie forgot her own status.
She forgot she had someone already.
Being in love with Lisa made her forget everything but Lisa herself. It was bad yet Jennie didn't mind.
'Is this how falling in love really feels? But how can't I feel it with him? It's just doesn't feel the same. Lisa affects me more.' Jennie reminded about her ex fiance.
"Oh okay. Do what you think best. You should get change too, you know." Lisa eyed Jennie from head to toe.
"Oh yeah I forgot. I'll get change and we can sleep afterward." Jennie smiled.
She walked very slowly to her bedroom. She knew Lisa stared at her attentively. She could feel it from behind and so Jennie began her acting again. She pretended to be unstable and about to fall down.
She knew Lisa would catch her anyway and yes, she's right.
"OMO! Be careful, Nini!" Lisa held Jennie by her waist.
"I'm..I'm sorry." Jennie said.
"Here, let me help you to go back to your bedroom." Lisa with a sharp breath lifted Jennie bridal style.
Jennie put her hands around Lisa's neck in reflex while scenting Lisa's familiar fragrance. She liked it by the way.
It's addicting.
"Where is your pajama? Let me get it for you." Lisa stood up once Jennie had landed safely on her bed.
"It's inside the second drawer." Jennie pointed.
"Here. Go change. I will be outside to make you hot tea." Lisa took it for Jennie and gave it to the said girl.
"Thank you." Jennie exclaimed before Lisa went out and the taller woman nodded her head.
Lisa wasn't a stupid person. She knew at times she was insensitive and that's why Seulgi often scolded her.
But this time Lisa was totally oblivious with Jennie's sudden change. It was for the better yes, but why? Lisa leaned on the kitchen counter with her hands crossed on her chest, waiting for the water to boil.
She had so many things in her mind, starting from Jennie to Mina. She felt so thankful to God for giving her a second chance in love, even if it's not with Jennie. She couldn't lie that her heart was too slow and stupid probably for still beating loudly whenever she was close with Jennie.
Fortunately, Lisa could always brace herself and remained calm so Jennie wouldn't notice it. If only Jennie placed her palm over Lisa's chest, she was sure Jennie would be freaked out and ditched her in an instant.
Oh well, Jennie used to hate her anyway or so she thought. She was beyond happy when Jennie was kind to her again. It was like a dream come true. She used to dream having Jennie as lover but as time passed and her logic came to live, she knew that dream would forever be dream; it couldn't be reality and so she changed her dream into a more realistic one. She hoped one day Jennie could treat her normally and it seemed her prayer finally granted.
She didn't want to lose Jennie any longer. Friends were the furthest relationship they could be and Lisa was fine with that.
After thinking for a while, Lisa concluded that Jennie missed her lover too much that she subconsciously treated her like her own lover. Jennie perhaps wanted to go to those places Jennie mentioned when her boyfriend has back.
Jennie probably felt too lonely that she could do things as insane as pretended that Lisa was him. Lisa felt hurt of course but then again if it was for Jennie's happiness, then no matter how hurt she would be, she would still do it in the end.
'Love is the only thing that can shut down my brain. It's the only thing that able to make me do stupid things which will only hurt me in the end.' Lisa felt her cheeks wet.
'At least she is happy. Besides, in no time she will be married to that guy so I can have my freedom back and learn to love Mina.' Lisa wiped out her tears.
The waiter boiled and Lisa turned the stove off.
She poured the hot water into a glass filed with tea bag. She waited until the water turned into brown before putting a block of sugar into it.
She stirred it slowly, totally oblivious that some of her tears dropped into the tea. When she realized, she quickly brushed away her tears and chuckled bitterly.
Little did she know that what Jennie did was to show her how she loved her, not to use her as a shelter when her boyfriend wasn't there. With misunderstanding, Lisa took the glass and brought it to Jennie room.
"How are you? Are you feeling better?" Lisa asked and waited for Jennie to sit properly before giving her the hot tea.
"I'm still dizzy but it's bearable. Thank you for the consideration to stay and accompany me, Lis." Jennie slowly sipped the tea.
"I hope it's not too sweet." Lisa said.
"It's not. It's perfect actually." Jennie sipped a little more and put it on the nightstand.
"I'm sure your stomach will feel warm soon. You need to go to sleep now. Don't forget to text your boyfriend. I'll sleep in the next room." Lisa tucked Jennie beneath the blanket and turned on the small light on the nightstand.
She then roamed her hand on the wall and turned off the main light so the room was dimmed.
"Sleep with me?" Jennie tugged Lisa's shirt and threw her best innocent and pleading gaze.
"Okay." Lisa inhaled sharply and nodded.
'It hurts but I need to withstand it. It will only last a week though because when Mina is back, I don't have any reason to stay beside her anymore.' Lisa clutched her heart silently, feeling it had been shattered for the umpteenth time by the same person.
Jennie scooted so there was a space for Lisa to sleep at. Lisa climbed the back and felt the bed dipped when Lisa put her body beside Jennie. The bed was luckily queen-sized so it wasn't a problem for two women with small figures to sleep.
Lisa lost in her mind while looking at the ceiling above her. Jennie laid sideways, observing Lisa's beautiful face. She wanted to touch Lisa's face so much, grazing her porcelain cheeks with the back of her hand, and finally thumbed her kissable lips yet she knew she couldn't.
"Lisa-ah?" Jennie's husky voice made Lisa turn her head.
"Can I sleep in your arm? I feel cold." Jennie shyly said but since Lisa didn't really pay attention to Jennie's face because she was too busy with the wandering thoughts inside her mind, Lisa thought it was another clue how Jennie used her as a temporary shelter.
"Come." Lisa opened up her arm and in less than a second, Jennie snuggled closer to her.
"It feels nice." Jennie draped one arm on Lisa's torso, hugging Lisa's stomach while her head was nicely placed on her shoulder.
"Just like when you sleep with him, right?" Lisa muttered too softly that it was inaudible.
"What did you say?" Jennie asked.
She moved closer that there was no gap between her and Lisa's body. Jennie took Lisa's free hand to make her hug Jennie's waist and Lisa obediently followed what Jennie want no matter how her logic insisted her not to do so.
"I said good night and recover soon." Lisa lied.
Her nose smelled Jennie's hair which scented like strawberry.
Her logic betrayed her because her heart took over her logic. Her heart was screaming for help because it had been hurt for too many times yet Lisa ignored it.
"Thank you. Goodnight to you too, Lis." Jennie lifted her body a little and kissed Lisa's cheek.
She quickly went back to her position and shut her eyes close for being too embarrassed. Instead of being happy, Lisa felt more hurt. Her tears were threatened but she wouldn't let it flow.
"Goodnight." Lisa said once she was sure Jennie had fallen asleep.
She kissed the top of her head and tried hard to sleep yet unable to until some hours later.