Ajan Kloss was a place that Rey could definitely get used to. A moon filled with deep forests of ebony and evergreen. The peace and serenity that swept through in the quaint breeze was soothing to her conflicted and hurt soul. This moon was not deserving of the Resistance settling down and plundering it, using it as an operation for war and violence. However she may have felt about it is something she pushed down.
She could feel the force gently flowing through the moon. It wasn't as intense as Ahch-To, where the force felt more physical than ever. She could just feel it like a small breath. It was comforting to her and it surrounded her to calm the raging storm inside.
It had been a month.
A month since the death of Snoke.
A month since he asked her to join him.
A month since their last force bond.
After the battle of Crait, Rey was treated like some sort of hero. They all believed she had killed Snoke. But they were wrong. She let them believe. She could never reveal to them the fact that she had put her full trust in the most hated man in the galaxy. She had put her trust in Ben. She thought he had finally turned, but he only wanted to turn her instead. How could she have been so blinded by him to even think he would never betray her. It was so stupidly embarrassing.
She hadn't told Finn. By extension she hadn't told Poe or Rose either. After Finn introduced her to the two, they all became fast friends. The four became inseparable and she'd trust them all with her life, but she couldn't trust anyone with this. They could take it the wrong way, or try to use her bond as a way to make her hurt him, or question him.
But despite how much she knows she should, she doesn't like the idea of hurting him. Even after all he's done. Even after all she's done. Besides, after Snoke was killed, their connection was severed. That moment on the Falcon was just a fluke. That's what she told herself. She tried to shove it down, and repress it, but she could still feel his presence in her head. She could still feel his emotions coming through. He wasn't hiding. But she was.
She decided to leave her small bunk, where she had started to suffocate from the lack of space, and her thoughts. A run through the training course should help to clear her mind. She grabbed her staff instead, not wanting to bother Leia to practice with a saber. She did a full run, leaving out the Marksman-H combat remote because she didn't bring a saber.
After running through the course so many times that past month, it had all started to feel like second nature to her. So much so that the point for even going through the exercise was lost. She had wanted to clear her head, but all she could do was think as her body relied on muscle memory. Of course her thoughts were all about Ben. She had to correct herself. Kylo Ren. He killed Ben Solo. She returned back to her bunk, feeling more lost than ever with her thoughts still occupied by that horrible man.
As she walked through the corridors of the base a couple passed her. They were hand in hand and the girl giggled at something he said. She was in fighter technician garbs, stained with oil and dirt. Her blonde hair tied back into a messy curly ponytail. The man was much taller than her, wearing a fighter pilot uniform. He had short brown hair and he was grinning brightly down at her. Rey smiled, feeling a sudden warmth bloom in her heart. She could only imagine how they met. Possibly, she was the mechanic that worked on his X-Wing. Either way, it was sweet and she felt a sense of longing.
Perhaps it was just her loneliness that still flared up every once and a while from her secluded past in Jakku. But as she opened her door and entered her bunk, she could feel that she was missing something important. She hung her staff by the door and took out the buns in her hair, letting it flow loosely. It was a little early to retire for the night, dinner had only been served an hour ago at 6, but she didn't want to have to deal with her thoughts anymore and she was desperate for sleep.
That's when she felt it. That sort of rush where everything starts to speed up. She began to panic because she knew what it meant, but no matter how hard she tried to push it back, it broke through. The loud noise in her ears finally stopped into silence abruptly. She could sense him behind her. She could hear him breathing. They had connected again. She refused to turn around. An uncomfortable quiet brewing in the room. She tried to pretend he was there. This was her imagination. But then it shattered.
"Rey," was all he said. That was enough to bring her to reality. His deep and smooth baritone voice suddenly made her feel unsteady in her knees. Her heart screamed at her to turn around, to look at him. Her mind screamed at her not to move, that he was a murderer and he shouldn't have this effect on her. Her body stayed frozen in place.
"Rey, please. Turn around," He said softly, a pleasing tone underneath that she could tell wasn't supposed to get through. Her body gave into her heart. Slowly she turned around to look at him. He was just standing there, mask off, wearing a black long sleeved shirt and black pants, looking more vulnerable than she had ever seen him. His soft brown eyes captured hers and she suddenly felt it was impossible to look away.
"You've been blocking me out, why?" He asked coolly, his head tilting slightly in interest.
"Because I don't want the likes of you in my head," she spat, sudden anger coming over her again as she remembered all the things he had done.
"I see," he said, a bitter smile tugging at half of his lip, his scar hindering the movement on the other side of his face. It made her feel very funny. He paused for a moment before leaning forward, sauntering up to her. She began to stumble back until she hit the wall behind her. She cursed her luck. However, he stopped, giving her some space.
"What do you want?" Rey growled through gritted teeth. He leaned his head down at her. She could see the deep purple bags under his eyes. It seemed he wasn't getting much sleep either. He deserved it. She immediately felt bad for thinking that.
"I missed you. I missed our bonds. You're the only person who's ever tried to understand me," he confessed before moving back from her, giving her space. She felt her heart soar. She felt the same. He was the only person to ever understand her constant loneliness, and the ways of the force, even if they were on different sides of it. Despite every one of her core beliefs, she had to fight the urge to run to him and fall in his arms. That emotion smacked down hard on her, confusing her greatly. Before she could stop it, tears were streaming down her face.
Tears of anger at him.
Tears of joy at seeing him again.
Tears of confusion to what was happening to her.
"I missed you too. I shouldn't have, and I can't forgive you, and I'm so angry and frustrated with you, and confused that I even want to see you at all!" She exclaimed through small sobs. He reached out to her with ungloved hands. He hadn't been wearing them in the first place which surprised her. With the pads of his thumbs he wiped away her tears. Even though they were who knows how many parsecs away, she could still feel him, through this bond. His warmth was paralyzing.
"I can't leave here for you," she said suddenly, not even sure where that came from. His Adam's apple bobbed.
"I know," he said softly. "And I can't leave here for you,"
"I know," she choked.
"I don't want to fight you again," she said. His hair was particularly unruly today and she longed to lace her hands through it and play with it. What was he doing to her?
"I don't want to fight you either. But we'll have to face each other again," he sighed. It was inevitable. They were the parallels to each other. Opposite sides of the same coins.
Suddenly, his strong arms came to wrap around her. She felt wrong. She shouldn't be in this man's arms. But his warmth and comfort felt so right. She leaned into him, her fingers grabbing the cloth of his shirt and bunching it up as she laid her head against his chest, her tears wetting the fabric.
His presence was then cut off. Their bond moment was severed. She could still feel him in her head, and she felt herself lowering her mental wall down. Despite her better judgement still trusting this man. She wished she had gotten more time in his embrace. What was wrong with her? Why could she keep forgiving him and keep trusting him. And that's when it sank in. The depth of the confusing emotions that had been plaguing her. It was like a sucker punch, the world completely crushing her as she realized.
She was in love with him.
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-A/N-
Hey! So as you can see I decided to turn this into a one shot book because I kept getting ideas and I have a hard time committing to stories and not being slow, so one-shots are probably all you'll see for a while, but I am working on a book that has the backstory and tragedy of Ben Solo but then it will extend into the movie territory, and a different ending for The Rise of Skywalker.
Anyway, I just adore writing for this couple, especially when Ben is being a soft boy XD. This is only my second story ever of Reylo, but they have been all I've read since I saw TROS in theaters back in December so I hope I wrote them okay! I have such a passion for this pairing now. I wish I would have realized it sooner how perfect they are for each other! Anyways, thank you all so much for reading and I'll see you in another one-shot! (Hopefully?)
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