I couldn't stop wondering if I was mentally handicapped.
How the hell had I not noticed?
Well, I had, sort of. I hated that there was still a little nugget of doubt. What if I heard him wrong? What if it had been Robert and I confused my own name? What if I simply imagined the entire thing?
Maybe I was more drunk than I thought...
All of these questions kept bugging me throughout the second day. I couldn't even explain how I fell asleep that night. I realized that the mystery kisser was Joshua and then I ended up blacking out. Alright, it wasn't so dramatic but all of the shock and stress from the day did make me fall asleep.
The next morning I couldn't stop myself from wondering if it had been Joshua or not. Robert had convinced him not to come, right?
But, What if he...cared?
Shit, I really hated to over think things. Joshua had a lot of explaining to do, but I wasn't sure if I wanted to face it yet. I part of me wanted to see Robert and ask him what had really happened the night before. An even bigger part of me wanted to go get the answers directly from Joshua.
I sighed, hating how complicated my stupid life had to be. I decided that it was time to put my own plan of action to use.
I already know that Johnny probably had a hangover from the night before, so there was no chance of him calling me so that we could work on the clothing line that day. Instead, I had the whole day to myself, to do what I had wanted to do for a really long time.
So, I spent the entire morning glued to my computer feeling like a total stalker. Remember that one time I googled Joshua Lachowski like crazy? Well, this went above and beyond that first search. I called numbers, looked up names, and tried to find all of the info I needed.
When I had the seven names and numbers written neatly on my notepad, I swear, I shuddered. I wondered what the hell I would be facing when I called. Taking in a big breath and bracing myself for the worst, I dialed the first number.
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I was early, but it was only to be expected. Not one of the women I called sounded like the punctual type, or the marginally intelligent type.
Alright, that was a little jealous of me. It wasn't easy calling up all of Joshua's past assistants and asking to meet them. Much less when the reason they had all been fired was because they slept with him.
I started biting my nails as I waited for them to arrive. The restaurant was packed, which I hopped was a good thing. If I were to lounge from across the table to rip someone's eyes out there would be plenty of people to pull me off. It wouldn't come to that though. I wasn't sure Joshua deserved that from me.
I knew that only three of the seven women would be coming. The other three would not. One of them declined the invitation because she had been too busy getting a tummy tuck, and another one wasn't even in the country. I didn't get to reach the other two girls, so I simply discarded them. I just needed to know a few things from them anyway.
I needed to know if Joshua really, or had, loved me.
I smoothed out the bottom of my dress as I waited in my chair. The day was a little chilly, but the blazer I added on top took most of the cold away. I wondered if the women who were coming looked like me. Had I been just another assistant that Joshua used just so that he wouldn't get bored with his life?
I already knew that in the beginning I wasn't even his type. I didn't give a damn what I looked like. All I cared about was getting the job done, and I had for a while. Had Joshua told them that he loved them, too?
My head snapped up when I heard the sound of heels making their way over. I took the time to look each one of the four girls from head to toe. My breathing hitched when I saw that they were all beautiful, stunningly so.
The worst part? They were all platinum blonde. Either they all went to the same hairstylist, or they were related. I looked down at my brown locks, which I had let down that day. Alrighty then, there was yet another thing that made me different.
They all looked similar to Gola, too. I knew I shouldn't be keeping a score in my head, but I was anyway. The tallest of them all lead the other two. It wasn't long before they were right in front of me.
"Hi, my name's Lilly Fenster. We spoke on the phone?" I asked, leaning my hand out to shake theirs.
I wasn't even sure why they had agreed to meet with me. Maybe it was the fact that I mentioned Joshua's name on the phone that got them to meet with me.
"Ashley," The tallest spoke, while shaking my hand. She wasn't exactly friendly, but she wasn't hostile either.
"Hello, my names Melissa!" Said the shortest in the perkiest tone possible, right after the tallest had introduced herself. Normally she would have annoyed the living life out of me, but for some reason I didn't instantly hate the shortest girl.
All three wore wrap skirts with varying shirts. I wasn't sure if they coordinated or not, but it looked unintentional enough. Lanning had sure done a bitching job of picking the same girl after girl to be Joshua's assistant, and I wondered why she had hired me at all. I looked nothing like the women in front of me, even with my new look.
"I'm Natalie." Said the last girl, shaking my hand. I could tell that she was the brightest out of the three, because she looked at me as if she was trying to figure me out.
All three of us took a seat. We didn't exactly address why they were sitting in front of me first, instead we all ordered coffee and waited. I hated coffee, and I didn't even know why I ordered it. I guess I wanted at least one thing in common with them, but not even if I tried, because I had to send the coffee back once it came. It was just too gross.
Before things go too awkward, I spoke.
"I guess all three of you might be wondering why I invited you here." I started off, cringing inside. No shit, Lilly. Of course they were all fucking wondering!
"You mentioned Josh on the phone." Natalie, spoke as she stirred her coffee. It didn't stop her from staring me down.
"Yeah, I used to be his assistant." I clarified. My cheeks reddened when all three of them perked up and looked at me with sympathy.
"Oh, Honey!" Mellissa addressed me in a friendly way. Her brows were drawn together as she looked at me.
I ended up yelling my next words, because I had realized why they were all looking at me in that way.
"I-I-I didn't sleep with him!" I practically yelled. I wanted to crawl into a hole and bury myself in it when a family sitting in the table beside ours looked at me with mortification.
"I mean, yeah I quit, but it wasn't because I slept with him..." I trailed off trying to clarify the entire situation.
"Wait, you quit? As in, they didn't fire you, you quit?" Ashley said with a brow high in the air.
"Yeah." I said, wringing my hands. All three of them were looking at me in a confused manner now, as if they couldn't believe what I had just said. I couldn't help but feel a little nervous under the scrutiny. Finally after a long pause, Natalie spoke.
"Makes sense, I mean no offense, but I get that you couldn't have been fired-"
"Why?" Ashley wondered.
"Because look at her. I guess Joshua just wasn't interested." Natalie explained with a shrug. The girl just leaned back after that and took a casual sip of her coffee
Neither I nor Melissa spoke for several tense moments. I wanted to be childish and boast about Joshua and me, but a part of me was scared that all three would say that it wasn't special at all.
"Joshua liked me just fine!" I said through clenched teeth. I still sounded like a little girl, even though I tried to be mature about it.
"In fact, that's why I asked you all to be here."
"You asked us to be here to tell us that Joshua liked you?" Ashley stated, clearly confused.
"No! I asked you here to help me make sure that he did!" I spoke without thinking. I took it as a really bad sign when all three of the girls looked at each other knowingly and then at me. Even Melissa, who was the most decent out of the three, shook her head at me in disappointment.
For a moment I panicked thinking that Joshua really hadn't cared. I mean, I had wondered if he did or not, but things were becoming all too real.
"Josh doesn't really care about anybody." Natalie declared with a dry tone. She was obviously a little bitter about it.
"Natalie's right," Melissa spoke, looking over at Natalie.
"Joshua isn't really the type of guy to really love or even genuinely like somebody." Mellissa tried to explain. I could tell that she was the only one trying not to hurt my feelings, even though she was telling me the truth.
Ashley snorted at the two women's comments, before she looked me straight in the eye.
"Honestly, I'm sure all four of us sitting here on this table thought that Joshua cared about us. That was until we all got fired and he never bothered to even talk to us again. He never called or texted, he never apologized, and he certainly was never honest. In the end we all realize that we were just a fling." Ashley said drily. The other two girls nodded their heads as she spoke, reaffirming her statements.
I could have accepted it then, the fact that Joshua hadn't really loved me and lied. Later, I would be glad I hadn't. I didn't know why, but for some reason I knew that at that moment that the text had been from Joshua.
I had already realized that I was completely different than the three women in front of me. It just took me a while to figure out that it was a good thing.
"But, he did apologize. He sent me a text." I spoke quietly, focusing on the wood that made up the table. It sounded a little pathetic when I said it.
I finally looked up to see a couple of them look surprised, but not very much so.
"Well, then he's probably still trying to get in your pants since you said he didn't." Natalie claimed.
"You also said that he didn't care about anyone, but I know for a fact that he cares for his family, especially his little sister." I tried to convince, while playing one of my last cards. That's when I finally saw Melissa look completely taken aback.
"I didn't even know he had a sister! He never talked about his family to us, all we did was...well you know." Melissa spoke, looking around to the girls beside her.
"He was really good at that wasn't he?" Natalie spoke almost in a dream state. I tried not to become irked of the fact that all three of them were now remembering sleeping with Joshua.
"So all you guys ever did with him was have sex? You never talked to him, or I don't know, got to know him?" I asked incredulously. Ashley was quick to get offended.
"He never let us! Every time he would get one of his stupid phone calls he wouldn't even tell us who it was! Every time we would try to talk to him he would just try to get it on!" Ashley was getting riled up at that point.
"Not that I ever complained!" Natalie giggled.
"I didn't either." Melissa said. She had the decency of looking down when she said it, at least. That's when my little shred of hope started to grow. Joshua hadn't gotten to know these girls. I tried to make myself strong enough to ask the next question, although deep inside I already knew the answer.
"Did he ever say...that he loved you?" I asked. My fingers had balled into fists and I tried not to let my nerves show.
I think that both Ashlee and Natalie realized that all of the things I was listed had actually happened to me, because the next moment Ashley stood up from the table.
She had this hard look on her perfect face, as if she were a little girl throwing a tantrum. I saw her ball her napkin and drop it onto the table, right before she turned on her heel, picked up her designer bag, and strode out of the restaurant.
"Shit, that's my ride!" Natalie grimaced, before standing up and picking up her things, as well. Both of the girls were gone in the spur of the moment, until I was left with only Melissa.
"Don't worry about them. Ashley just gets really jealous still. She was the one who loved him the most. It's just that Joshua never really did any of those things with us and she doesn't understand why he would for you. No offense!" Melissa tried to clarify, scooting closer to my seat.
"None taken." I told her kindly, trying to get my thoughts together.
"So, I'm guessing you're not together now, though?" Melissa asked.
"No, he's getting married."
"Oh, shit."
"Exactly."
"But, why? To who? Gola?"
"I honestly don't know why, but he's getting married to Gola." I tried to answer, realizing that the reason I had liked Melissa from the beginning was because she sort of reminded me of my mother. The girl sure knew how to spit out questions.
"What are you going to do? Do you know what you're going to do? Do you need me to help?" Melissa said, already jumping a little in her seat.
I got the energy to laugh a little at her display.
"No, I'm fine. I have it all under control." I spoke, trying to figure out the quickest approach to the new plan in my head.
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I ended up calling Johnny once I said goodbye to Melissa. The poor guy didn't even make sense on the other side of the phone. Someone had taken the bar opening very seriously. I was finally able to coerce him into telling me Robert's address.
Johnny didn't even question my request, he was too out of it to say anything.
I took a cab towards Robert's condo directly after. Once I had paid the cab driver, I made my way up the stops. I wondered if it would be really weird to just show up at his house uninvited, but who the hell cared? Then I wondered if he would even be home.
Thankfully, he was there to open the door for me. It was insanely awkward to note that he wasn't wearing a shirt, only had on a pair of sweats. Joshua or no Joshua, Robert was still a male model with one of the best six packs I had ever seen.
I started to choke on my own spit before I was able to say anything. I could really be smooth when I wanted to be.
"You're here, on my doorstep, choking." Robert stated with his twang. I wanted to answer, but my air supply was seriously getting cut off. The fact that I was practically dying in front of him didn't hit Robert until a few seconds had passed.
"You're choking!" He finally yelled, coming over to smack my back.
"No shit!" I managed to wheeze out.
I let him lead me into his house. I didn't let the fact that I couldn't breathe stop me from noticing that Robert really knew about interior decorating. He sat me down on a brown leather couch before he came back with a glass of water.
I was already put together at that point and only coughing short little bits.
"I'm-" I cut myself off with a cough.
"-sorry." I finished after taking in a new breath of fresh air.
"You don't have o be, even though I'm not even sure what you're talking about." Robert said, rubbing circles on my back. I smiled at him, trying to send him the hint that he could stop it. Not that it wasn't sweet, it just wasn't appropriate.
"I'm sorry about last night for going off on you." I clarified.
"Oh, you shouldn't be! It wasn't my place to interfere. Besides, Joshua was able to make it anyway. I saw you two outside. I'm guessing you worked everything out?" Robert wondered, taking a seat on the couch in front of me.
"No...I sort of thought he was you and I ran away...." I said quietly, looking down at my hands. It was embarrassing to say the least.
So, it had been Joshua! He had gone to see me. Joshua had been the one to kiss me!
"Damn, Lilly. So what are you going to do now? Are you guys through or..." Robert asked weakly. I really had no response to his question. I wasn't so sure anymore, I never was.
"Did Joshua tell you anything about going to Brazil? I mean, because I know you guys are in contact and you told me that he was able to make it, which means there was something that would have interfered." I spoke quickly, thoughts running wild inside my head.
If I was guessing correctly, Joshua's little sister would be getting her operation as soon as possible. Something told me that Joshua had been telling me goodbye or something similar when he sought me out during the bar opening.
"Yeah, how did you know?" Robert asked, looking confused.
"Long story. I need you to help me book a flight. I need to get there before he does!" I spoke quickly, but precisely. I was going to get the last piece of my answers. I knew for sure that Joshua cared. The meeting with the past assistants had already confirmed it. I knew that Joshua still cared to that very day, since the day before he had still kissed me and sought me out. Now I needed to know why he had done it.
I needed to know why he was marrying Gola for the sake of becoming rich and famous. I wanted to know why I wasn't good enough.
"Oh, and don't let Johnny or Martin know! I need your help Robert. I'm going to need you to cover for me and make up a lie." I spoke in full business mode.
Robert shook his head at me like he couldn't believe what I was doing, but at the same time he smiled. That's when I was positive that he would help me out.
I was going to corner that boy. Once I had him in front of me I would make him tell me everything I needed to know.
Most importantly, I was going to convince his sister that she was beautiful no matter what. Joshua would know that all of his mistakes wouldn't be worth it. I wasn't going to be done until Joshua realized what a huge mistake he was doing. I wanted him to know that he was doing it for nothing. I needed him to realize that he broke my heart for no absolute reason.
I, Lilly Fenster, was going to Brazil.
And here is the next chapter for you all! Excuse the grammar and spelling on this one, I am currently half asleep as I write this. I will certainly edit this much better in the morning, but for now here it is! Only 3 more chapters! You guys excited? :)
Lilly's outfit is on the side.
Thank you SOOOOO much for reading, commenting, voting, and fanning!
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