"Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace." Suratul Ar-Rad verse 28.
If you're feeling uneasily, feelings you can't pin point, then you should check your relationship with your Lord, because in doing so the hearts do find peace and that means peace of mind entirely.
Samirs pov
For every silent tear shed,
For every silent battle fought,
For every memorable moment,
For every brave smile you put on..
Allah knows and may He bless you and continue to make it easy on you.
Turning on the shower, i start washing my hair, and then proceed to take a bath.
Done, i came out dressed in tri quarter trouser and an ash hoodie.
"I need a new perfume." I murmured to myself, the ones i have are almost finished.
I sat on my bed, scrolling through Pinterest on my phone, it's a boring sunny Wednesday, the sun is shinning, the wind is blowing dryly.
Both my dad and step mum are out, probably for some checkup i am not sure.
Things don't bother me anymore now, since the day Uncle Ibrahims dad, baba died, yes i call him baba, we were this close May his gentle soul continue to Rest In Peace.
The world has surely lost an angel.
Anyways since that day nothing excites me anymore, i feel numb, i feel nothing, literally nothing, the exact same feeling i felt four years back.
Why will i let things bother me when in the long run we're gonna lose them? It doesn't make sense right?
I sigh, when my phone start ringing, it's Arman, he has been calling nonstop since i can't remember, school has resumed the day before yesterday, Monday, i didn't even do my registration.
"Assalamu Alaikum Samir." Arman says softly when i pick the call, i almost chuckle, he sounds so calm, he doesn't wanna upset me.
"Wa'alaikas Salaam." I answered. "How are you feeling now?" He asks, a small smile grace my lips, i am actually glad i went to UOL because i met true friends who genuinely care for me; "Alhamdulillah i am fine thanks, how's school?"
"Alhamdulillah. You should resume, i have finished your registration." He says, "You have? Thank you Arman, so much."
"You're welcome." He says, and he start telling about the topics the did, the courses outline the lecturer gave.
I thanked him and hang up, he is such a true friend, i never had friends growing up because my twin brother was always with me wherever i go, he was my friend, best friend, basketball mate and brother, so with him always with me i didn't find it necessary to make friends and after almost 18 years i have made friends, my mum would have been proud, i mentally laugh remembering her words;
"Kabir- i mean Samir, yes Kabir whatever, you need not to be always with your brother, allow him to go out of his comfort zone."
She always mistake our names, yes we were identical twins, those were her exact words, not that what she said was funny but i always find myself laughing reminiscing her— or them.
I wish, i just wish that i will hear her voice again, but some wishes will never come true, my eyes begin to water.
I sit up properly, blinking back my tears, i am strong right? I mean Allah knows best and i shouldn't be crying over past yea?
"No, it's okay to cry, you're human after all."
Someone once told me that but i can't exactly remember who, and that's when my tears start flowing down my cheeks, I lean back against the headboard of my bed, hugged my legs and let the tears continue cascading down my face.
It feels good.
I don't know why i have been so emotional these days or maybe i know?
Is it just my thinking or does life never go according to your expectations? You go right and it goes left, but nevertheless it is beautiful, and i look forward to living a long life in shaa Allah in good health.
Few minutes or so later i wipe my face walking to the bathroom to perform wudhu as it is almost time for maghrib.
Coming out of the bathroom i hear the main door downstairs being close, probably Abhi and mama Zainab are back, it's almost maghrib after all.
Walking down the stairs i came face to face with none other than my Aunt, how does she come in all the time?
I mean the door was closed innit?
"How do you come in all the time." I ask walking close to her, she looks tired, her dark circles prominent, Affan is definitely giving her a tough time, i mentally chuckle.
"I have my ways." Aunt Sarah says, flipping her invisible hair as she has her scarf neatly wrapped around her head.
I shake my head and pick a six months old Affan; "Hello habibi." I nuzzle my nose with his and he giggles.
He is such a happy child, always giggling, i place him down on the dinning table and he quickly attack the fruit bowl.
"You see what I've been telling you?" Aunt Sarah says, drinking water, she sounds so down but i don't even wanna ask her about it, she's obviously still grieving her fathers in law death.
This the second time we're meeting since he died, Allah yarhamhum, amin.
"C'mon he is cute." I said kissing his cheeks.
She huff and i giggle.
We sat in silence with only the inaudible sound coming from Affan.
"Samir, Ibrahim isn't back home yet." Aunt Sarah says and i had to blink my eyes twice, what?
"I don't get you."
"He resumed work yesterday and never never came back home up till now, he- he sent me a message saying that he needs space and that he doesn't know when he is com— coming back." She finishes with a sniff, no she's not crying but goodness, the saddest sound ever is the crack in someones voice when they are on the verge of crying, especially if they use to be your support system or rather if they are strong.
Only Allah knows what uncle Ibrahim is feeling, he lost his dad, his only parent they were so close, baba had been always proud of him, he supports him in everything he does, so obviously his death will affect him the most, may Allah forgive him.
Lord knows i don't know what do to or say to comfort her so i did the only thing that came to my mind, I hug her, Affan start rubbing her covered head as well, a smile grace my lips.
She hugged me back, still sniffing.
I caress her back; "Don't get him wrong, what he did is totally justified, i pray he overcomes it soon." I tell her.
She nods her head, we stayed like that for quite a while till we heard the Adhaan of maghrib. She pulls away from me and pick Affan.
"Go to the mosque." She whispers, i nod, stepping aside with a small smile on my face.
I walk outside my home and just then my step mum park my dads car, Abhi is being so lazy nowadays he doesn't even drive.
Still with a smile on my face i walk towards them: "Maghrib Samir?" Mama Zainab asks, "Yes mother." She pats my shoulder,
"Allah yubarik habibi(May Allah bless you my love)" she says walk away from us.
"Amin." I murmured.
"Lazy day huh?" I ask my dad who is performing wudhu at the tap beside our house.
"You could say that." He says chuckling, i shake my head at him.
He finished his ablution and we make our way towards the small masjid.
The imam came in and we perform our congregational salah.
You will never understand the true meaning of 'peacefulness' till you perform your obligatory salah and that too in a mosque with people.
May Allah accept our ibadas, Amin.
Abhi, me and couple of more people stayed seated in the mosque reciting the words of The Most Knowledgable, Al'alim.
Almost an hour later we pray isha and now we're walking back home, Abhi is complaining that he is hungry.
I'm glad he has recovered, even though he hasn't completely we still thank Allah.
"Why do you knock?" I ask when Abhi knocked for the second time, i mean it's his house, he doesn't have to knock yea?
"Ahklaq?(good manners?)" I turn my lips upward. "No arguments." I said and the door opened.
Once we enter, Abhi moves to the dinning area: "We're hungry." He says.
"You are. Speak for yourself old man." I said laughing at his reaction, mama Zainab slap my back playfully saying that her husband isn't old.
Quit deceiving yourselves already.
"Samir please pass me the soup." Aunt Sarah says when we are all seated.
We ate the delicious food together.
When we were having desserts my phone starts ringing, thinking it was Arman i didn't bother to bring out the phone from my pocket, but then it start ringing again, fishing it out of my pocket it's a call from Nihal.
My heart skipped a beat seeing her name, she is the best one could ever ask for and i am so glad i met her.
"Assalamu Alaikum Samir." She says immediately as i pick the call, i stood up to go to my room.
"Wa'alaikis Salaam Nihal." I reply her with a smile.
She's doing something to me.
"How are you?" She asks; "Alhamdulillah i am fine thanks, wbu?"
"I'm fine, why aren't you in school?" She asks.
"No reason." I said, Allah knows i do not even know why i didn't resume yet.
"Are you okay?" She asks, her voice dropping to an octave.
I smiled: "Yes thank you." I reply.
"You know what i am coming over." She said and hang up before i even reply.
Come over where?
At 10pm?
I tap the message app on my phone and text her;
Me: I am fine Nihal, thank you for asking, please don't bother coming i mean it's late yea?
And i click 'send'.
It delivered and she read immediately, i wait for her reply but none came.
A minute, but still none, two minutes heck now it has been almost 10 minuets since i sent the message.
She's not gonna reply and as usual i feel stupid, why will i send her that? I mean she was only being caring, goodness, pathetic is what i am.
I sigh defeatedly sitting on my bed.
I pray she comes.
*****
Warrido cuties😻
So just a gentle reminder: Allah knows best and everything that happens to you, good or bad it's khair because He Jalla Jalal knows best🌚
May Allah make it easy on all of us.
Malika😭