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"If it be now, 'tis not to come: if it be not to come, it will be now: if it be not now, yet it will come: the readiness is all."
(Hamlet, act 5 scene 2)
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It had been a week since the incident in the library. Ms Venable hadn't given me a second glance since. Meal times were the only instances where she'd talk to me, but just to demand that I eat without complaints whenever I hesitated.
My heart felt lonely, even more than before. For some reason, that small period of time I'd spent with Ms Venable seemed to have made up for years of loneliness, but it had gone as quick as it had come.
That was until the eighth day of silence, when I sat in the library, in my usual spot and my usual time, nine until seven.
Engrossed in my book, I barely noticed the silhouette that had appeared in my vision.
"May I join you Ms Aldean?" Looking up suddenly, there was Ms Venable. She was standing tall, wearing a black dress, with long lacy sleeves, and trademark fingerless gloves.
Why was she asking me if she could sit? It was her outpost!
"Sure" I mumbled. She sat herself gracefully down in the armchair across to me.
"What are you reading today?" Ms Venable asked, resting both hands on her cane in front of her.
"To Kill A Mocking Bird" It was an amazing book, and I could tell Ms Venable thought so too by her satisfied expression.
"I haven't read that book in years, let me see" She said softly, putting a hand out slowly to retrieve it, our hands brushing against each other. I almost dropped the book because of the sensation that shot from my fingers to the rest of my body. It was electric, and by looking at at Ms Venable, I was sure she'd felt it too. But she didn't react to it, so I decided to do the same, but I didn't forget it.
"I'd forgotten how brilliantly written this is"
"You can read it, if you want, I've loads of stacks of other books to work through" I hid the hopefulness in my voice. Even the acknowledgement of her pondering on the thought made me feel warm.
"Do you mean read, in here? With you in the room?" She looked shocked at my proposition. I wondered why. Maybe because she'd never done anything with anyone here apart from torturing people with Ms Mead?
"Erm....yeah, if you want, I've got other things to read" My voice grew quieter by the second, afraid she'd reject me completely and avoid me for two weeks.
"Okay" Ms Venable said simply, crossing her legs and opening the book. So I grabbed the nearest book to me and started to read.
Do you know how hard it is to focus on words when a beautiful woman is sitting opposite you? It's virtually impossible, and I kept catching myself gazing over at Ms Venable. She was truly stunning. Dark eyes and dark reddish hair, pale skin and plump lips. Wait, why am I looking at her lips? Even though her face normally had the same stern look, it wasn't anymore. Instead it was neutral, the kind of look everyone has whilst reading. I noticed that she was biting the inside of her cheek gently, so I guess it was her reading habit. Everyone has a reading habit, as little or as big it may be. Mine was that my hand would always rub the back of my neck subconsciously. I just couldn't tear my eyes away from her.
Suddenly she glanced up, and I felt like a deer caught in headlights. Oh fuck.
"Is there something wrong?" She seemed genuinely concerned, not knowing the real reason I'd been staring at her. I cleared my throat.
"No Ms Venable" She studied my face carefully.
"You're different to the others" It sounded like a statement. I tilted my head to the side questionably.
"You hardly talk to the other purples, you spend every free breathing moment in this room, you can appreciate the old classics novels, and you are kind to the grays"
My eyebrows raised, how did she know all this? Had she been watching me?
"I didn't know you'd been observing me"
Ms Venable didn't say anything for a few minutes, scanning my face for some reason. Then she turned her head down to continue reading her book.
This was strange. Ms Venable, the leader of this outpost, was sitting in front of me in the library, reading a book.
Time passed quickly, and we hadn't spoken. I was so lost in the words of Shakespeare and I guess Ms Venable was lost in her book too, because after a while, she'd stopped noticing my fleeting looks towards her.
Another couple of hours later, the door opened and there stood a cold Ms Mead.
"It's di- oh, I didn't expect you to be here as well, Ms Venable"
Ms Venable practically jumped up, throwing To Kill A Mocking Bird onto the table.
"What is it you need Ms Mead?" Her voice had suddenly gained it's icy tone again, nothing like the one she'd had for the last few hours.
"I was calling Ms Aldean for dinner, and I was also looking for you as well" Ms Mead's beady eyes bore into mine, trying to figure out why Ms Venable had been here reading a book.
"Okay" Ms Venable simply said, and left quickly. Ms Mead paused before following her to glance at me briefly.
"Dining room, now" When she'd gone, I sighed to myself. I'd finally caught Ms Venable in a good state, but stupid Mead had to ruin it. I already missed her company. My feelings were so wrong, crushing on a woman who punished others. It was crazy.
*
I set my knife and fork down after eating my whole cube. I smiled to myself slightly, for no particular reason other than I was glad to have sat with Ms Venable earlier.
I felt eyes on me, so I turned slightly and saw Ms Venable was staring at me. For some reason, the corner of her lips had raised very very slightly, looking at me then down to my empty plate. Was she happy? An emotion other than her usual permanent scowl?
"I have an announcement to make" Ms Venable stood up, pushing down on her cane for support. I'd always wondered why she had one. It was probably something to do with her back. But I never dared to ask.
Everyone's attention shifted onto her, listening closely. When she had announcements, they were normally new rules we had to follow, and none of us were risking the chance of being punished for not complying to them.
"I have decided that you will be allowed to be out of your rooms at night" Before she could continue, excited whispers erupted from the table. Wow, I was not expecting that. Then she tapped her cane sharply twice.
"Silence. If I think you are being too loud, I will send you straight to your rooms and I'll re-think this privilege I'm granting"
So this meant that I could stay in the library for as long as I wanted! This was truly a blessing from god.
*
Later that night, I sat in my room, getting ready to go to the library. I'd had a brief nap because I wanted to have energy to stay up as long as possible. There was a book I was reading that I couldn't wait to find out the ending.
Before leaving, I checked myself in the mirror. My dark brown hair was tied in a messy bun, and I was wearing my night dress, but with my purple shawl over it.
I knew that everyone was in the hall instead of their rooms, probably celebrating the sudden privilege. So I made my way to the library, settling myself down on the armchair. I sighed, not moving. I was exhausted for some reason. Then something caught my eye, something sitting on the table that I know wasn't there an hour and a half ago.
I leaned forward, I saw it was a book, a poetry book, with a note written on top of it.
I will collect it tomorrow, I know you will have completed it by then.
- W.V
The handwriting was neat and slanted, and signed with an elegant signature. Wilhemina Venable. Why had she put this here? It must have been meant for me, she knew I was the only person who came here. She also somehow knew that I'd be here tonight. But why had she left it for me?
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