The alpha let out a sigh, the sound seemingly stemming from a deep place inside. "They are right", he hummed before his eyes ripped themselves from the open book and found Taehyung's gaze.
Taehyung seemed taken aback by the confession, probably having expected Jungkook to deny the rumors. The alpha didn't seem too puzzled by the other students' words and that confused the omega even more. Jungkook sensed his feelings and let out a sigh again.
"I was a monster", he spoke and averted his eyes again.
The blonde furrowed his eyebrows, discontent with the lack of eye contact again. "You speak in past tense".
"That's because I repented for my actions and I'm trying to be better now", Jungkook spoke, hands going under the table to fumble with the end of his hoodie, "Not like the others care about that though".
"Could you tell me what happened?", Taehyung asked. Jungkook glanced to the side to see the omega's eyes trained on the table as he stared holes into the wood.
"What do you want to hear? How I lost control over my wolf the second an omega talked to me?"
At these words the omega looked up again, eyes meeting Jungkook's as the boy was still staring at him. "Is that really what happened?"
"I can't remember exactly what happened", Jungkook said, " One second I was happily talking to her and the other second I had her pinned to the floor, ready to sink my teeth into her neck. I only snapped out of my daze when other students pushed me off and held me down".
He felt something stir deep inside of him when Taehyung kept staring into his eyes. His eyes shifted as if he was trying to find out the truth like it would be reflected into the alpha's eyes.
"Your wolf took over", he stated. It pained Jungkook to see Taehyung's expression fall and disappointment wash onto his face. The only person that was ever nice to him was disappointed in him. It felt horrible to tell him the truth, but it was necessary.
"Several times", Jungkook nodded as he tried swallowing the lump down his throat, "I can't say I never intentionally attacked people".
He saw Taehyung gulp, "Why?"
That was a question Jungkook was used to hear. Students had asked him this, the principal had asked him this, even the police had asked him this. But he never knew the answer. Your wolf doesn't need a right reason to attack, and there are never right reasons to hurt innocent people.
"The reasons are futile. I can't talk my way out of my actions", he merely replied. The omega didn't seem to satisfied with the answer as he leant back against the chair.
"I don't get it. Why does everyone still avoid you when it happened five years ago?", the blonde asked. Taehyung's eyebrows seemed to be permanently furrowed when talking to the alpha. Jungkook wished he could just reach up and smooth the creases away.
Jungkook sighed, "Because no one wants to befriend the monster. Once a monster-"
"-Always a monster", Taehyung finished, "That's ridiculous".
Jungkook shrugged at that, knowing just how ridiculous high schoolers could be but he also understood why everyone avoided him like the plague. His victims carried the wounds of his mistakes and so students were everyday reminded of how badly he had hurt them. Why would anyone take the risk to get close to him?
"What I don't understand is why you're still here talking to me", Jungkook spoke up, dismissing the omega's previous statement.
"Because I think it's ridiculous that you're still held responsible for the actions you did when your young hormonal wolf took over", Taehyung spoke, "You don't look like the type that would just accept his wolf to take over on school grounds and attack people."
"You barely know me", the alpha huffed, cheeks puffing out by the actions, "You can't assume that I'm a good guy".
"It's worse to immediately assume that you're a bad guy", Taehyung snapped back, seemingly agitated by the other's words, "You don't deserve to be treated like this".
Jungkook tensed at that, "I do. I attacked people".
He heard Taehyung huff this time. It was silent for a moment until high heels clicked behind them as the older librarian put lent books back into their former places. The sound of her heels faded in the distance until she went back to her seat.
"So you're just going to carry around this burden with you for the rest of your life?"
That was kind of Jungkook's plan. It's not like he could forget about what happened. He couldn't exactly remember what had happened when he attacked those people but he could surely remember the aftermath. The blood, the screams and tears. He had caused it all.
Jungkook shrugged even though he felt the most tense he had felt all day, "I caused it so I have to carry it".
"Shut up Jungkook, don't be like this. You said it yourself, you already served the sentence so why would you need to live like this any longer?" The alpha jumped in his seat at the loud thump that resonated through the library. Taehyung had brought his fist down onto the table and the librarian was now glaring at the boy for causing the loud noise.
Jungkook glanced away from the angry omega, "There's nothing I can do anyway. I'll just wait until I'm out of high school".
"And what if people in college find out? What if they find out at work? If you have a record, people will know", Taehyung scoffed and he leant back, arms now crossed over his chest.
"Jeez, are you here to get me depressed?", the raven haired male grumbled before angrily grabbing his book and shoving it into his backpack. His chair scratched back with a loud noise that once again had the librarian glaring.
Taehyung looked up from his place still seated onto the chair as Jungkook stood up. "I'm going now", he stated before beginning to leave the library, backpack slung onto his left shoulder, "You should leave me alone".
For some reason he didn't get the feeling that Taehyung would leave him alone. He wasn't sure if that was a particularly good thing or not but he sure as hell didn't want to find out.
He avoided Taehyung the rest of the day, which wasn't that hard since the popular crowd was easy to find and easy to avoid.
The last bell rang when he came out of the locker room, sweaty and red from all the running they had done. He was glad the school was smart enough to split up the omegas and alphas for classes such as PE. Whenever wolves would sweat, their scent would spread, and it could cause unhealthy situations if alphas and omegas would share the same class of PE.
After the bell had rang, Jungkook rode his old, barely functioning, bike home. The wheels often shifted to the sides and the whole thing creaked and shook with every meter. Even though it had been a tiring day Jungkook was energetic when he arrived at his destination.
The white paint of the old caravan was chipped and parts of the wheels were rusted as it stood in the tall wet grass. Jungkook stepped towards the tiny thing that he called home. He could see the faint lighting coming from behind the moldy green windows and he grinned.
Light meant his father was home and that meant they could spend the evening together. The caravan stood in a tiny trailer park and most of the residents either did drugs or were permanent alcoholics. Still it was a safe space for Jungkook since most of his fond memories were made in this place.
The door creaked and it made Namjoon's head snap up from where he was reading the newspaper. It was probably one from a few days prior that he had fished out of the trash. "Hey son", the man smiled as he caught sight of his son.
Jungkook smiled back and he slipped out of his shoes and coat, "Hey dad. What are you doing?"
"Looking for a job", the older man sighed as he pushed the newspaper towards the curious boy. Jungkook glanced towards the circled job applications. His nose scrunched in dismay as he read the titles and wages.
"I know what you're thinking", Namjoon sighed and he quickly snatched the newspaper back from his son, "But it's the only thing I am suited for".
"Dad, you shouldn't be applying for jobs like this. Night shifts at the factory? Cleaning public bathrooms? You have a college degree for fuck's sake!"
"Language", his father retorted, though they both knew Jungkook never watched his language, "And you know my degree means nothing by now".
It was always like this. His dad would get fired from a job and they'd argue about potential new ones. Jungkook thought it was bullshit how his father's degree was immediately dismissed because he never got a job after graduating.
Namjoon was an omega and so when Jungkook was born he had taken on the role of housewife. Jungkook's mother had been an alpha, an intelligent and powerful one. She had a good and stable job and took care of the financial parts of the household.
When she died, Namjoon had to go look for a job but for an omega it wasn't easy. Since he hadn't immediately started working with his degree right after college, he had trouble finding a job that wanted him. After a while when they had almost run out of money and had to move to this caravan, he had begun taking on jobs way below his standard.
It angered Jungkook to see his father get pushed around like that. Since he was a single male omega he often got assaulted. He had to quit a few jobs due to power harassment and so he had to start all over again.
Jungkook had had countless of arguments about getting a side job so he could help bring in some money. But it always hurt Namjoon's pride as a father. He didn't want his son to take on his responsibilities just because he wasn't able to.
And that's how Jungkook worked a student job in secret. All of his paychecks were stuffed inside his underwear drawer so his father wouldn't find out. He never did anything with the money. He just made sure there was some in case they'd get in a really bad situation. Sure, his father would be furious if he'd ever find out, but at least they could get by for a while.
After telling Namjoon about his day and mentioning Taehyung for a slight second, they played cards and ate cold ravioli from a can. They didn't have a television and their gas was empty for the moment so there was nothing much left to do.
Even if it wasn't much, this was Jungkook's safe space. And no one at school knew.
A longer chapter to make up for all the days I didn't update :)