author's note: this fic was originally a shorter one-shot that i wrote years ago. please enjoy the updated, expanded version.
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Hoseok feels like he's floating in a beautiful, rosy dream. He feels like everything has been blurred and softened, warm and gentle, the world reduced down to touch and temperature, to the softness of skin and the heat of passion, a heat that isn't smothering or suffocating but safe and strong, the hard lines and edges of reality smoothed down to curves and everything light as air despite the heaviness of the air itself, heavy with moans and quick breaths cloaked in high-pitched gasps spilling from Kihyun's throat and the deep, low rumbles brimming in Hoseok's chest.
Hoseok is so far gone at this point that it takes a few moments for him to fully process the words that were just spoken to him by Kihyun, the words quietly gasped out in a string of whimpers, and as the words come to clarity, the full weight hitting and dropping down to the back of Hoseok's stomach and spreading out through his core and racing up his spine in a jolt of electricity, Hoseok blinks, focusing his vision to the eyes beneath his, bright and clear eyes, sparkling with joy and anticipation and a million other things. Beautiful eyes, open and vulnerable in a way that Hoseok has never seen them before.
"What did you just say?" Hoseok asks Kihyun, Hoseok's eyebrows raised in disbelief, his forehead damp with sweat, Kihyun's eyes shaking and shining so brilliantly, growing wet, glinting cinnamon and copper in the low light and glazed over in the same kind of trance that Hoseok finds himself in and offset by the deep color of his flushed cheeks and pouty lips, open and panting.
The dorm is empty save for the two of them, the other members having gone out for a movie while Kihyun and Hoseok stayed behind. "To rest," Hoseok had claimed, "and to work on a new song." It was pretty clear that nobody bought that excuse for even a moment, but as always, nobody pushed the subject, and for that, Hoseok is thankful, thankful that they could at least pretend that this thing between him and Kihyun was still only their's. It's safer that way, to keep it locked tight between the two of them only, always simmering under their skin even when it shows on their faces and in the way they're always together even when they're apart, in the way that they always only have eyes for each other even when surrounded by an entire world of onlookers.
And so naturally, with opportunities for them to be alone together being so rare, they had both seen it for what it was, the opportunity, and had agreed without even having to say a word to stay behind that night, and from there, one thing had led to another...and another...
And now, as Hoseok lifts his face from where his and Kihyun's foreheads had been pressed together to look down into Kihyun's eyes, Kihyun lies completely naked beneath Hoseok, the deep flush now spread from Kihyun's face to his chest, small and perfect like a lovingly-crafted porcelain doll, a light sheen of sweat coating Kihyun's entire body, a sight so devastatingly beautiful that it puts all of the love songs and poems to shame. It's the most beautiful thing that Hoseok has ever seen, and it's only growing more and more beautiful by the moment, Kihyun growing more beautiful and beautiful by the moment, and Hoseok wonders now if he can even survive this, if his heart will even be able to take it.
Kihyun's eyes meet Hoseok's only for a few short moments before they dart away, looking anywhere but into Hoseok's own, and Kihyun's hands squeeze tight to Hoseok's shoulders, Kihyun's palms tight but hot with nerves, and Kihyun's voice is barely above a murmur as he squirms on the soft sheets beneath him, the soft rustling loud in the hush of a dorm empty but for the two of them, Kihyun's skin glowing in contrast.
"I said..." Kihyun breathes out, voice dropping even softer, "I said I've never..."
Kihyun's voice trails off to silence then, his eyes slipping closed as he swallows hard before looking back to meet Hoseok's eyes, looking so uncertain, and Hoseok's heart pounds hard and heavy like a drumbeat.
Kihyun continues to grip onto Hoseok tightly as Hoseok gently brushes a strand of hair from Kihyun's face, Hoseok watching with fondness the way that Kihyun doesn't flinch at Hoseok's touch but instead, melts into it, his eyes fluttering. It says everything, that Kihyun isn't afraid, and he has no reason to be, not when he's with Hoseok. Never when he's with Hoseok.
Hoseok pauses for a beat before he gives Kihyun a small, gentle smile, playful, easing the tension as he speaks. "How is that possible?" Hoseok asks, voice light as he strokes along Kihyun's silky-soft face.
Kihyun's eyes widen in response, surprised, and his voice takes on a particular tone that Hoseok knows very well, a tone of disbelief and slight annoyance, because Hoseok loves to push Kihyun's buttons like this, loves to tease him just because of how cute he is when he's irritated. Sure enough, Kihyun pouts like a baby, and Hoseok can't help but to smile wide.
"You know, if you're going to make fun of me, Kihyun replies, the color splashed across his face deepening as his eyebrows furrow, "it'll really ruin the mood." He's joking, teasing just as much as Hoseok is, but even so, Hoseok can hear the underlying insecurity in his voice, and so he runs his thumb over Kihyun's temple with care, his teasing grin softening to an affectionate coo.
"Silly, that's not what I meant," Hoseok murmurs, his voice dropping down low. He strokes Kihyun's face another time, enjoying the way that Kihyun trembles from his touch, and Hoseok pauses before he continues a third time, the glint in his eyes one that he knows that Kihyun will recognize immediately, and Hoseok knows that Kihyun knows what he's going to say before he says it. "I meant that it's hard for me to believe," Hoseok whispers, "because Kihyunnie...you're so, so beautiful."
And Hoseok grins wide again as Kihyun sighs loudly and rolls his eyes dramatically at Hoseok's blatant cheesiness, but as always, Kihyun is betrayed by the small smile that tugs at his lips, and by the quirk of his mouth that makes it clear that Kihyun loves the cringy, sappy goo that Hoseok likes to pour out and all over him in moments like this.
Hoseok leans down then to kiss Kihyun's forehead, soft and sweet, and then Kihyun's eyelids, and then his nose, and then the corner of Kihyun's mouth. Kihyun's eyes squeeze shut and his smile grows bigger and he squirms, ticklish as Hoseok presses fluttery, barely-there kisses along his jawline.
Hoseok's mouth then finds its way to Kihyun's throat in a deeper, wetter, longer and slower kiss, and Kihyun breathes out a half-sigh, half-moan, arching his neck to give Hoseok better access as he wraps his arms around Hoseok's shoulders and speaks again, voice trembling.
"I was close, a bunch of times," Kihyun says, eyes fluttering as Hoseok keeps kissing his neck and humming softly into his skin, right into the pulse of his rapidly beating heart, "but I always backed out at the last minute. It never felt right, and it never felt like the right time, and I guess I got scared or nervous or..."
Hoseok stops and lifts up again to look into Kihyun's eyes, watches as Kihyun opens his own eyes slowly and looks back at Hoseok in confusion. "Do you want me to stop?" Hoseok asks, going still, his hands moving to hold Kihyun's face, to cradle his cheeks, Hoseok's voice so gentle it's barely audible.
But Kihyun hears him clearly, and he keeps looking into Hoseok's eyes as he slowly brings his hand to rest on top of one of Hoseok's, and Kihyun squeezes, holding Hoseok's gaze and smiling softly. "No," Kihyun says, his eyes bright and lovely, focused. "I want this and I'm really glad...I'm really glad that it's you."
And Hoseok's heart feels like it expands, swelling like a balloon inside his chest, filling him up with warmth and flushing over his skin in ripples and waves. "Ah, my Kihyunnie..." Hoseok murmurs. "Do you know how I feel when you say things like that?"
Before Kihyun can respond, Hoseok swoops down to kiss Kihyun's lips, any reply caught and swallowed down with a thick, needy moan, and Hoseok arches, curls forward on top of Kihyun, adding more pressure and power to that first, perfect kiss.
And time starts to slow as that first, perfect kiss melts into a dozen more, and as Kihyun kisses back, his hands sliding up the back of Hoseok's neck, fingers reaching up to tangle in Hoseok's hair, and as Hoseok deepens the kiss, Kihyun's lips part easily for Hoseok's tongue, and Hoseok's hands move down Kihyun's body, from his throat, down his chest, down the lines of his waist and the curves of his hips, gentle, soft touches that map out and commit to memory as they slide back up Kihyun's pelvis to rub over his soft stomach, warm and delicate, Kihyun opened up and pliant and so wonderfully, wonderfully lush, Hoseok suddenly aware once more of how vulnerable Kihyun is, how vulnerable he's making himself in this moment.
Hoseok stops there and pulls away from Kihyun, pulls back for just a moment, and neither of them open their eyes, just breathe into each other's mouths, lips brushing as Hoseok pulls his thoughts together to form a sentence. "Are you absolutely sure that you're ready?" Hoseok asks. "You know that I love you more than anything, right, Ki?"
Kihyun smiles against Hoseok's lips and lets out a delicate little laugh. "Yes," Kihyun says. "I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life." He pauses and kisses Hoseok again softly. "And yes. I know."
Hoseok's heart jumps as Kihyun suddenly reaches for Hoseok like he'll die without him and pulls Hoseok's face down for their mouths to meet in a breathtaking kiss so full of passion that Hoseok nearly loses his balance and collapses, Kihyun's mouth so hot and wet and magnificent, and Hoseok's senses are overwhelmed by the rush of Kihyun's lovely taste and the softness of his plump lips, and the sugar-sweet sounds that he makes, that pour into Hoseok's mouth as their tongues twist together.
Hoseok's fingers trail down Kihyun's hips again, the other hand holding Kihyun's waist, and Hoseok slips his hand down further, in between Kihyun's legs, in between Kihyun's thighs, carefully circling Kihyun's most sensitive areas, slick and dripping from how Hoseok had prepped him just a few moments ago, and Kihyun moaning and trembling beneath him as Hoseok works a finger inside and starts to stretch Kihyun's entrance, Kihyun's body willing and giving, melting from Hoseok's touch.
From there, Hoseok spends a few long moments carefully, oh so carefully working Kihyun open, slowly unraveling him as their bodies press together and slide against each other, and Hoseok presses his lips to Kihyun's shoulder, seals his mouth around the warmth of Kihyun's collarbone as he keeps going, his tongue pressing into the hot skin as his fingers move more deliberately, deeper and faster, Kihyun's hands in his hair again, tight and tugging, repeating Hoseok's name in a rush of hot, fluid whispers interlaced with quiet whimpers and harsh breaths.
"Hoseok...Hoseok..."
And each call of Hoseok's name, so earnest, so reverent, sends chills racing up and down Hoseok's spine, sends heat rushing through his veins, and Kihyun clings onto him as they adjust to a better, more comfortable position, Kihyun's arms wrapping tight around Hoseok's waist and his hands sliding up Hoseok's back to rest on his shoulder blades, Kihyun's legs falling open on either side of Hoseok's hips as Hoseok works his fingers in deeper and slots himself over Kihyun's body, Kihyun's thighs wrapping around Hoseok's waist, conforming perfectly around Hoseok's hips as they position themselves, and Hoseok's heart is filled with so much fondness for Kihyun, so much love that he feels like he could drown in it. Hoseok pauses again, takes a moment to confirm with Kihyun one last time, his lips whispering into Kihyun's throat.
"Yes, Hoseok..." Kihyun breathes out, wrapping tighter around him and bending his knees back to open himself up as much as possible. "God, yes..."
With his heart pounding and his mind spinning, flooded with a million different thoughts and sensations all at the same time, Hoseok carefully slides himself inside of Kihyun as slowly and gently as he can, even as Kihyun's body takes him in almost effortlessly, Kihyun's mouth falling open in a wordless cry that tapers off into a whimper at the very end, Kihyun's hands squeezing at the muscles of Hoseok's back hard enough to leave finger-shaped bruises.
They fit together like this so perfectly, and Kihyun feels so good around Hoseok, so tight and snug, warm and wet and velvety-smooth, and Hoseok lets out a sob against Kihyun's throat as he's overwhelmed by it all, a thick sweat breaking out along his forehead and at the back of his neck as he adjusts, because it's the most amazing thing that he's ever felt, and it's hard to believe that it's even real, that things could ever really be this good, but they are. Kihyun is. Kihyun is everything.
After a few moments of giving Kihyun time to adjust fully, and of giving himself a few moments to come to his senses, to regain his hold on reality within something so sublime, Hoseok slowly begins to move again, resting his forearms on either side of Kihyun's body so that he can push up and curl in and forward, and from there, he begins to expertly roll his hips, to move with equal parts care and precision and passion, pushing deeper into Kihyun before pulling out slightly, and Kihyun moans and squeezes tight around Hoseok, and Hoseok's mind goes blank for a moment, and he chokes down a heavy moan, has to stop with tears stinging at the corners of his eyes because he already feels like he's going to come, but of course, he wants this to last longer, of course there's no way that he would let his first time with Kihyun be over so quickly, and of course, there's no way in Hell that he's not making sure that Kihyun comes first.
Hoseok takes a long, deep breath before he keeps going, continuing at a slow, gentle pace, pushing in and pulling out in a gentle rhythm eased along by how well he had prepped Kihyun, slick and smooth, taking the time to make sure that they both can feel everything, that it's nothing but bliss, and Kihyun clings to him as Hoseok murmurs against his skin, Hoseok's words a litany of lovestruck nonsense and praise and adoration, hidden in half-kisses and sweet nuzzles, words like "love" and "beautiful" and "perfect" as Hoseok goes deeper and with more power, starts to use the muscles in his thighs and his hips to rock into Kihyun's svelte little body in ways that will make Kihyun see nothing but white. It's what he deserves, and it's all that Hoseok wants to give to him.
Eventually, they start to fall into a natural, automatic kind of rhythm together, moving entirely on instinct, and Hoseok starts to thrust a little faster and harder, until they're both completely lost in it, and the bed creaks loudly beneath them, and Hoseok starts to feel dizzy, starts to feel that familiar burn working its way up from his pelvis and through his core as they move together, as Kihyun clenches around him and moans his name, Kihyun working his hips down so that Hoseok hits him even deeper, and Hoseok keeps going, drawing out every sensation with thick pulls and deep, powerful thrusts, a little more desperate each time, a little harder each time, building up the brilliant fire inside the both of them, the fire that they now share, indistinguishable and all-encompassing.
And it feels so good, so deliciously good, that Hoseok's mouth has fallen open and he's moaning with each thrust, and his thrusts become increasingly erratic, out of his control as his impending climax works its way up through his pelvis and spreads out through his hips, squeezing tight around him as he curls forward to hit Kihyun at the perfect angle that has them both unable to breathe, unable to do anything but hang on tight and brace themselves.
"Hoseok...Hoseok...Hoseok," Kihyun repeats, slurred and thick and heavy, over and over again like it's the only word that he knows. His voice grows higher in pitch, his words less coherent, now mostly just sounds as Hoseok pounds into him again and again and they curl against each other in desperation, until finally, Kihyun tips over the edge with a scream, his entire body shaking in Hoseok's arms and his fingers clawing uselessly at Hoseok's back, Hoseok riding through his own climax as it rolls through him all at once, Hoseok so overwhelmed with all that he's feeling that he thinks that he'll die the sweetest death, right then and there with Kihyun in his arms.
They both collapse into the sheets, lying there just breathing together, skin hot and limbs tangled and slick with sweat, with the smell of sex, Hoseok still heavy on top of Kihyun and Kihyun still clinging to Hoseok as they both come down with huge, heaving breaths. Hoseok can't see a thing as he's flooded with intense bursts of pleasure that leave him nearly paralyzed in ecstacy, until eventually, Hoseok is able to roll off of Kihyun to lie on his back next to him, and Hoseok's pounding, racing heart skips a beat when Kihyun's hands linger a moment too long on his shoulders, only very reluctantly letting him go.
They both lie there in deep satisfaction for a long time, for several long, lovely minutes, until Hoseok, his chest still visibly rising from his heavy breathing, is finally able to turn to gaze at Kihyun, who looks so beautiful gazing back at him, all wrecked and blissed out, eyes half-lidded and mouth open as he breathes just as heavily, his cheeks flushed with color and his eyes wet. Hoseok can't help but to reach for him again, doesn't think that he'll ever be able to stop reaching for Kihyun.
Hoseok holds Kihyun's face in his hands and brings their lips together one more time, deep and slow, more sensual than anything else that they had done, somehow even more passionate and intense, so much so that it makes Hoseok's toes curl and his skin rise in goosebumps, and Kihyun's lips stutter against Hoseok's and he whines loudly into Hoseok's mouth, oversensitive to every contact between them post-coital.
Hoseok pulls back after a few moments, and Kihyun's eyes open halfway to try to look at Hoseok, but his eyes are unable to focus, blinking slowly and darting around in all directions over Hoseok's face. It's like he's seeing for the first time and doesn't quite know how to look at things yet, but he knows to look for Hoseok.
"I'd love to stay here," Hoseok whispers, humming quietly and staring into Kihyun's eyes with pure affection. "Really, I...I'd stay here forever. But..." Kihyun just groans in response, still not recovered enough to say a word, and Hoseok laughs, happiness bubbling in his chest. He hums again and adjusts somewhat, moves closer to Kihyun, Kihyun snuggling closer in turn so that their noses almost touch.
"Kihyunnie," Hoseok says, stroking Kihyun's face, and what he's about to say hurts, twinges his chest in pain that makes him sigh because he wishes he didn't have to say it, wishes it didn't have to be true. "We need to get to sleep soon. In our own beds." He sighs again before he continues, sadly. "The others will be back and...we would definitely have some explaining to do if they found us like this."
Kihyun doesn't say anything to that, just moves in even closer to bury his face in Hoseok's chest, doesn't even make a sound as his mouth ghosts over Hoseok's skin, but Hoseok gasps when Kihyun starts to kiss him there, a soft press of his lips over Hoseok's pectorals, over his heart, ghosting over Hoseok's nipples. Hoseok's body begins to react all over again, flooding him with fresh fire as he feels the press of Kihyun's tongue.
But then, just as suddenly as he had started, Kihyun stops with a few soft, gentle kisses right in the center of Hoseok's chest, kisses that burn hotter than anything else. Kihyun then carefully tucks his head under Hoseok's chin and tightly wraps his arms around Hoseok's waist once more, nuzzling his cheek at the bottom of Hoseok's throat, and Hoseok lets out a long, deep sigh, and he closes his eyes, rubbing Kihyun's back in slow, gentle motions, deciding that it's alright, perhaps, if they lie there for just a few more moments.