"I think I'm ready to ask her to be my girlfriend." I told Lauren. We were at the kitchen taking care of the dirty dishes that we used. We had lunch together and talked about many things that's going on.
After what Ariana and I talked about in the party and when we were sober, I think it is the time to take this thing to the next level. The way her eyes looked at me with concern, the way she treated me and the way she become possessive in many things, I guess it's really something
Lauren smirked and nudged me, "Are you sure?" She asked excitedly.
I shrugged and stared at Ariana who's talking to Lucy at the living room while watching some random Ru Paul's Drag-race episode from Netflix. "I mean, it's been a long time Laur. I don't want her to think that I'm too scared to ask her."
Lauren hummed as she put the plates back to their places, "It's not that. Are you sure you can handle a famous girlfriend?"
It came through my mind but she got me, one smile and I'm already weak, my heart is gonna go insane. One kiss and my mind is gonna be all over the place.
"What makes you think that she will say 'yes'? I asked playfully. Still doubting about what she feels about me and it scares me that she might not have the same feeling that I'm feeling.
"Bullshit, Y/N. You told me she likes you." Lauren murmured and gave me a pointed look. "And I can tell that she's really into you." She added.
"I still have some doubts, you know. I'm scared. Her past is a mess." I explained and breathed out a huge amount of air. Lauren rubbed my shoulder gave me a comforting look. "I don't know if she will accept me in her life as girlfriend."
My cousin nodded in understanding and she settled herself beside me. People may think I hit the jackpot but honestly, it's hard falling for someone who just broke off an engagement because her ex who she really loved died. I told every detail of that to my cousin and I knew she understood where my fear is coming from.
"You know.. there's nothing wrong with trying." The green eyed girl said full of encouragement, lots of positivity behind her eyes. "You need to risk and ask if you want to know."
"I'm willing to take any risk for her. She's Ariana Grande, Lauren. How can you not?"
Lauren chuckled and leaned her back at the kitchen counter. She must be judging me, for thinking that I'm doing it because she's Ariana Grande but honestly I'm doing it because I'm feeling something for her. I'm falling for her so hard that I can't even back up. I know she might not catch me but it's worth a try, she told me that she like me too. She is the risk, I'm willing to take and the pain I'm willing to accept.
"But anyway I'm happy for you. I've never see you like this for a while." Lauren rasped out and gave me a sincere smile.
I snorted and pushed her playfully, "I'm happy for you too, Lauren. I hope Lucy can take your annoying ass everyday."
Lauren and I giggled as we stared at our girls watching the TV while chitchatting about the queer guys on the screen.
"Ariana must be tired of your boring ass." Lauren said with a chuckle.
"Nah, she likes this boring ass." I informed and showed her a smug smile.
We heard someone called us and both of the girls were looking at us. We automatically walked towards them and sat right beside them.
"You were about to skip the whole episode." Ariana exclaimed while pointing at the TV. I sat and comfortably beside her and wrapped my arm around her soft back then she automatically fell on the side of my body, cuddling to my side.
"I'm not. We were watching from the kitchen." I replied as I put my attention on the show.
We watched the show excitedly and laughed at them. The queer man dressed as woman then worked the runway like queens and the two ladies beside us squealed.
"Oh my god, I love her so much." Ariana almost screamed when a black man wearing a dress that hugged his curves that complimented his body.
"Yes, oh god work!!!" Lucy added and both of them complimented every queen that walked that runway.
"They're all beautiful it's unfair." My cousin from the other side of the couch commented.
"Yeah, they're all so good I'm not gonna be biased." I added.
After the episode ended with a queen going home who just lost a lip sync battle. Ariana let out a frustrating groan due to the ending of the show.
"Do you wanna go and see the moon with me tonight?" I asked under my whisper.
Ariana's eyes lit up and cupped my cheek, "Really?"
"Yeah, you'll be flying away tomorrow again." I told her. It's always mixed emotions when she's leaving. Flying away to work for her career and do her job for the management and her fans.
I gave her a frown with matching puppy eyes but then she giggled and pinched my cheek, "Aw baby, you know I can't stay any longer. I'm busy with my recordings."
I sighed defeatedly, "Just trying if it'll work."
Ariana gave me a sad smile and kissed my cheeks, "You're cute though."
"Yeah, whatever. Go take a shower, we're leaving." I said and slapped her thigh playfully. "Don't trash my bathroom, please."
After long minutes there is still no sight of Ariana Grande running off my room. Lauren and Lucy on the other side were continuing to watch the season while doing all the cuddling shit.
"Alright, where the hell is Grande?" I mumbled as I stood up from the couch.
The two woman giggled as I heard Lauren said, "She's a woman, Y/N. They're always taking too long in the bathroom."
"So you're saying I'm always using the bathroom for too long?" Lucy butted in and gave Lauren a glare. Lauren shrugged and smiled teasingly.
Before I can watch my cousin and her soon to be girlfriend make out after all the teasing, I went to my room and search for an outfit for this special day. I heard a loud music from the bathroom and when I walked in I'm not surprised on what see.
There was my future girlfriend, putting on makeup on her face while singing along to Childish Gambino. I can't help but adore her from afar. It's cute having her around, messing my apartment with her annoying self.
"Didn't I told you not to mess my bathroom?" I asked and she met my eyes on the mirror.
Ariana giggled, "I'm doing my make up."
"I can see." I replied as I stood there staring at her. Actually she don't even need make up, she's a goddess who don't even need cosmetic on her face. I went behind her and planted a kiss on her shoulder. "Go ahead and shower." She said.
"Gimme a kiss first." I informed her and wiggled my eyebrows. She groaned playfully and turn her head to leave a peck on my lips. She grinned and giggled like a child. Its making me wanna put her in my pocket and keep her forever.
I went in and took a quick shower. Ariana put on one of my sweaters again which she will never gonna give back to me and some short underneath. I wore some underpants and my vintage cupid angel blouse.
"You look so good when you're vintage dressing." I heard Ariana said from the door of my room, I smirked and met her glaze. "I like it."
"Thanks but you're taking all of my sweaters, babe. Mind giving them back?" I informed as I put my final touch and sprayed some perfume.
"No. I'm giving you some of my sweaters." Ariana said as she walked towards me, I collected all of the things from the table. "I like yours, it's comfortable."
"Whatever, Ari. But seriously, some of my favorites are gone now." I exclaimed as she grabbed her purse from the table .
Ariana laughed and put her arms on my shoulder, my hands automatically went their way to her side, squeezing it. "I'll give it back, kay?"
I groaned defeatedly and nodded my head, knowing that all of those sweaters and gone for good. I know it's comfortable because it's too big for her and she has some obsession with sweatshirts and shit. I love how she can rock my clothes when I look like a shit on them.
We drove over the city and grabbed some food from some Italian restaurant before the sun goes down. The car ride was never silent due to the loud music blasting from the speakers and our voice singing along to some RnB songs. Simple moments like this are the ones that I will never forget, it's just us, on the road, with music and the real us hanging out together. Every moment with her counts because I will never know when she will stop seeing me and when that time comes, I know I'm gonna be fucked up.
Once the car stopped at the familiar house of Uncle George, my body felt tensed as I looked at the woman at the passenger seat wearing a huge smile on her face. It was dark and passed dinner, I knew Uncle might be asleep at that time but he knew I will be home.
I stepped out of the car immediately and before I can even open the door of Ari she was already outside. "I miss Uncle George." Ariana mumbled as she looked around the familiar place.
Thank god for showing the moon today, it's the purpose of this date night with her.
I went to grab all the stuff that we bought and we walked at the door. Before we can even knocked my uncle already opened the door with the most exciting smile on his face. He welcomed us in his house again and winked at me, knowing all the plans I had in my pocket today. I just love how supportive he is for me. If he knew that something is gonna make me happy, he will make me do it and that's why I'm here.
We had some chat with uncle. Uncle was happy we visited him again and he was happy that I'm still Ariana after few months, not knowing about the woman being a famous singer. Ariana on the other hand was genuinely happy to spend some time with my uncle because she misses his grandfather so much and uncle George felt like his grandfather too.
Uncle George gave me wink before I stepped out of the living room, leaving the two of them. I immediately went to the backyard and mentally high five myself as I saw the beautiful sky above and the moon shines brightly. The place were fixed and it was beautiful. I admire the surroundings for a little, Ariana will love every detail of this.
When I went back inside Uncle was already saying good night to Ariana and left a hug for her.
"Sleepy?" I asked him and he nodded his head. He went to hug me too and patted my back.
"You got this, Y/N." He whispered and I giggled.
"Thanks, uncle. Have a good night." I mumbled and kissed his slightly wrinkled cheek.
Uncle smiled softly before waving at both of us and walked towards his room.
"I love him so much." Ariana cut the silence around us. She do and I can see it on how she smile and behind those eyes are real happiness. "He talk too much but I love it."
"What did he tell you then?" I asked and sat at the couch with her.
Then she did tell me what things my uncle told her. From looking forward to have her as my girlfriend to some stories of my family. I mean, we did have some trouble as family that's why my parents had divorce. I'm not gonna lie it's been a wreck going on before our family broke up and that's my uncle George got my back when I need him, he became my dad when my father was busy hooking up with random girls. He's a sex addict and he knew that, my mom couldn't take it all. From taking care of her children to doing housework and chores then working sometimes as tutor, she knew she don't have time to handle some needs of my father then it became to crash like a domino.
"I'm sorry about it." Ariana's voice was filled with sympathy, I smirked and nodded. It's all in the past and it's not gonna change after all.
"Don't be. Your mom and dad are not together too. So we basically are the same." I said.
Ariana silently agreed by curling the corner of lip and quirking an eyebrow.
I stood up and asked for her hand, "Want to go outside?"
Ariana showed her famous smile that shows her dimples before taking my hand. As our foot got closer to backyard my heart beat quicken, my lungs were running out of air. The moon gave light to our path towards the table.
"What's with you, again?" Ariana playfully asked as we walked hand in hand under the beautiful stars. "Whatever it is, it's cute."
My palms got sweaty and my heart was getting out of my chest. We reached our table despite of all the darkness surrounding us. I let out a huge amount of breath. I reached for the cable at the side of tree and clicked the switched. All of a sudden the place lit up and the trees are shining.
"Sorry, we just have take outs from some restaurant but I promise next time.. I'll cook for you." I told her and she was there speechless looking around with her mouth open.
"Y/N, it's beautiful."
"You should see it from where I'm standing." I said as I stared at her. She met my eyes and looked at me shyly. "I told you, we're literally gonna watch the moon tonight. No movies." I explained and I saw the lights reflecting on her eyes then her smile came from ear to ear. Those are the look I want to see from her, it was so real. I went to get a sunflower on the small tent and hand it to her. "Not the same flower I gave you at the shop but this is pretty."
Ariana chuckled and her cheeks went pink for a while, her eyes stared at the flower. "Sunflower at night?"
"Yeah, why not? They are bright like sunlight and as warm and inviting as the sweet summer sun. Besides you are my sunflower." I told her full hearted. "You bring joy to my life."
"Really?" Ariana asked with a curious smile hanging on her lips. My body instantly began to relax as I felt her soft eyes looking at me.
Both of my hand found hers, squeezing it. I lifted one of her hand and kissed the back of it softly, earning a sweet smile from her. I'm always never gonna get tired of seeing that smile. I replied, "Really."
The wind of the night touches our skin and the skies got darker, my feelings got deeper. My heart beating too loud and my mind still can't even process out but then I spoke out, "Didn't you know that sunflowers are a symbol of happiness, loyalty and adoration?"
Ariana shook her head in response. I giggled softly at her cuteness and continued, "I adore you, Ariana. You got me with that smile and that look." I paused and traced circles on her hand. "I smile every time you call because I'm about to hear your voice." I never knew what impeccability is until I heard her bubbling about her day was, complaining how her day turned upside down. "It's just that your voice calms me in ways that you would never imagine." Ariana couldn't stop smiling from every word that I said, I cupped her cheek and caress it with my thumb. She innocently tuck her lip between her teeth. "You got your way of making my heart happy. Sometimes you make my heart beat so fast, I wonder if you can hear it."
"I like you, Ariana." I breathed out, letting the honest words came out of my mouth. "I wish I could explain how your voice and your eyes gives me butterflies, how your laugh and smile makes my heart squeeze in a good kind of way."
"Y/N-"
I shushed her before she can say anything. I shook my head, "Don't ruin my moment." Ariana laughed gently and playfully pushed my chest.
"Ariana, will you be my girlfriend?" I let out the question that's bugging me every minute. I felt a huge amount of weight got out of my chest and I stared softly at the woman in front of me. I watched her expression changes, she's joyful hearing that question but then I saw something on her eyes, it was confusion.
"Y/N, I like you too... so much." Ariana started, she opened and her mouth and nothing came out of it. There was a lot of things going on my mind, a lot of what ifs and I don't wanna ruin everything I did for this night. "But, I don't know.."
"I know you're confused. It's because you're thinking." I stated and let go of her hand. It came running through her side, softly giving a comforting touch.
Ariana sighed, "Y/N, don't get it wrong. I think I'm not ready for a relationship.. yet. I don't want to risk it again and.."
"Babe.. shush. It's fine. Your intellect might be confused, but your emotions will never lie. It's a pending question anyway, take your time. Just let me know when you're ready because I am. I'm willing to risk anything for you and I'm ready for both answer." Ariana put her hands on my shoulder, she gave it a soft squeeze. I continued, "You're worth it all."
Ariana tip toed and sighed against my soft lips before leaning in for a kiss. I lightly squeezed my hand on her hips as I felt the appreciation through her kiss.
She pulled out with a humble smile and I said, "Just remember, when you're ready, nothing can stop you. If something's stopping you then you're still not ready."
"Thank you, Y/N. You changed my life without even trying, and I don't think I could ever tell you how much you mean to me. I can't imagine what things would be like if I hadn't met you." Ariana thoughtfully said, her eyes shows the sincerity of every word that came out of her mouth. Her body relaxed through my embrace, she put her head on my chest and wrapped her arms around my waist. My lips pressed on her temple and we stayed like that for a while.
"I hope there will be no next after that thank you." I joked and she groaned before pinching my side. "Come on. Uncle George gave me his wine, he said it's good." I invited her sit at the soft mattress. I put out all the take out food from the bags and gave some to hers. I sat next to her as we looked out to the beautiful sky.
"Are you sure you're not gonna say yes?" I asked playfully. Ariana chuckled before shoving her food on her mouth.
With what Ariana told me, I already knew her answer is. I know she felt the same but she just still need time and I'm willing to wait for it, till she's healed from the past or whatever's still bothering her. She's worth the pain and worth to love, I'm ready for both as long as it's her. I'm falling in love with her and I can't stop myself from it. The night end well, we talked about us. I'm glad that she's happy with our thing, this thing that soon will be labeled. Thanks for Fred, for setting up this place and to Uncle for tagging along with it. Even though, I didn't get the answer that we expected but at least I know I got a chance. The night was filled with affection that gives unexplainable feelings and kisses that touched my soft spot. Her sincere words marked my heart, her touch marked my skin and my lips are considered hers.
Ariana went back to work at New York, her tour is coming close and her album is coming up. It's gonna be a busy time for her she explained and I understand that. I'm busy with my work too, I just got promoted and I'm here to do my job right.
I heard my phone dinged before I even lock my locker. I went to see it and saw an unexpected name on the screen, I smiled as I read the message.
From Camila:
Good morning coffee buddy ☕️
To Camila:
gmorning
coffee buddy huh?
From Camila:
yeah, u busy?
To Camila:
yeah gotta work, brb
After I sent the text I threw my phone on my pocket and went to my office to start my everyday work with a bunch of papers. There was a lot of reports and receipts we needed to complete from the suppliers that we needed to submit to the top management and it took me and Joe hours to finished it. It was afternoon when we finished the report for the specific date and I think it's fine for today.
I went outside to see if the shop was doing good and it is. There were few customers around that need to take care of. I walked to the counter to join my cousin.
"Hey." Lauren greeted when she saw me.
"Everything good?" I asked as I inspected the surroundings. Lauren is one of the loyal staff of the shop and we both know that she can handle every single problem there.
My cousin rolled her eyes, "Of course. Duh, it's not like you haven't see me work my ass in here for three years."
I laughed at my cousin's statement which is true, "I'm just tryna be a manager here, Lauren."
The green eyed girl chuckled and rested her back at the counter. "So how was your date with Ari?"
I hummed and just smiled humbly at her, my cousin let out a excited grin. "It's fine, she loved it. Thank god for such a beautiful creator of the night sky."
"Yes! Finally my cousin is now in a relationship." My cousin exclaimed excitedly.
I scratched the back of my head and shake my head. She thought that after I asked Ariana, I will definitely got the answer that I want but then I didn't got any answer. "Here's the thing."
Her face was full of confusion, "What? She rejected you?"
Then I started explaining to her why I didn't got any answer. It was reasonable and easy to understand, Lauren agreed which didn't surprise me because she got a lot of trust for Ariana. She just know that Ariana will do me good and that woman will not gonna do anything to hurt me. I don't know where Lauren got those words but I really hope that's all true because I'm head over heels for that woman.
Days passed and the weather got mild. Ariana got busy each day but still didn't miss to sent me a text and sometimes call me at the end or at the beginning of her day. Still she didn't gave back my sweaters instead she gave me her bunch of merchandise sweaters in many different colors.
"Ariana Grande sweaters, huh?" I heard a familiar voice rang to my ears when I was about to get my favorite cereal box. I went out to grab some groceries since Lauren is always with Lucy every day off and I don't have something to do.
I looked up so see a familiar caramel eyes wearing a soft smile, "Camila, hi." I exclaimed, she embraced me with her friendly hug and planted a kiss on my cheek which she always does, "Oh yeah, no tears left to cry. I just love her."
"She's incredible." She mumbled through her smile, "What're you doing here, don't you have work?"
"It's my day off and I don't really have much to do, so why not go grocery shopping, right?" I explained as I grab a box of cereal. Camila grabbed a box, too. "How about you?"
"Just gonna grab a wine and some chips. I need some break from reality." Camila said and I can even see frustration on her face. Her eyes were tired and hair was tied in a messy bun but still look stunning.
"Life's treating you like shit?" I asked, getting interested on what's happening in her world. She's my friend after all, I think she need someone to vent it all of her frustrations. "Cuz I can see it."
Camila giggled softly and her sleepy eyes met mine, "Management's treating me like shit rather." She exhaled.
"Management?" I asked curiously and walked towards the other side of the store, looking for some stuff that I need in my apartment.
"Yeah, I'm so done with them lately. I need to rest." The caramel eyed girl walked beside me threw some things on my cart without even consulting me. I gave her a questionable look not at what she's doing but on what she's saying.
"I don't really understand." I said truthfully and chuckled at my dumbness.
Camila sighed and shook her head as she picked up some chips and chocolates. "I'm a singer, songwriter who need to fucking rest."
I stared at her surprisingly with my mouth slightly opened, "Seriously?" Camila just nodded her head and continued walking to the end of the store, picking up a couple bottle of wine. "We've been friends for a month and you're not even telling me that."
Camila laughed as she placed to bottles carefully on the cart in front of me. How didn't I see this? Well maybe because I'm so busy with my feelings for Ariana and I don't put some attention on other things. "I want a friend who doesn't know me."
I went to grab some boxes of milk and sodas before turning my attention to her, "That's why you were taking pictures outside the shop with some girls the other day." We reached the cashier and she put the items on the counter, even my items. "Camila, that's my stuff."
Camila nodded and still continued what she's doing, "I know. It's on me, just please hangout with me today."
Since I really don't have things to do today just to wait for Ariana to call me, I sighed softly and just nod my head. "Sure."