HGD28: CHANGE FOR THE BETTER
"If you think that you lose everything, remember the tree that lose all his leaves every season.. but always remember that there's a next season that it'll eventually grow, just like you."
-gelyenbalm.
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I CAN'T sleep that night. After he confessed I feel the sudden emotions.
His lips were indeed sweet and soft.
I still remember the way he kissed my lips like his life was defending on it. My heart was fluttered in desire of having him.
Nakatinggin ako sakanyang mata at kitang-kita ko ang kakaibang emosyong meron sya.
"Uy, Ram andito ka pala." Sabay kaming luminggon sa kadarating lang na si Diego.
Naramdaman ko nalang ang mainit na palad ni Ram na humawak saaking kamay. I am looking at him because of his sudden action.
"Nagpapahatid na sya. " Diego answered and he look at me.
I saw his eyes landed on my hand that Ram's holding.
"Uuwi na tayo." Ram said.
Tapos ayon, tinawag na ni Ram ang kanyang kapatid at tatay para umuwi. Hindi ko mapigilan ang aking pag-ngiti hanggang sa makauwi, at apat na oras na ang nakalipas ng makau-uwi kami ngunit hindi pa rin ako makatulog.
Napagpasyahan kong lumabas ng bahay at naupo sa upuan sa terrace. Maliwanag ang buwan at maliwanag ang paligid.
Isinandal ko ang aking ulo sa pader at saka pumikit.
I feel this moment, My brain keep flashing the scenarios that happened hours ago. Sa aking pagmulat ay hindi ko inaasahan na mukha ni Ram ang bumungad sakin. Kumurap ako para kumpirmahin kung namamalikmata lang ako pero hindi.
"Hot choco?" He asks and he handed me cup of hot choco.
"Bakit gising ka pa?" He asks when he sat on the empty chair besides me.
"Di ako makatulog." Sabi ko.
He just nod and he take a sip of his hot choco.
"Ikaw? Bakit gising ka pa? Di ka rin makatulog?" Nakangiting tanong ko.
Umiling sya. "Iniisip kasi kita." He said and it makes me blushed
"Pa-fall ka naman e." I hissed and pouted.
"Hahaha. Sinalo naman kita diba?." He chuckles.
"Naisipan ko lang din lumabas para magpahangin pero nakita kita kaya nagtimpla na rin ako ng hot choco." He added.
"Umalis ka agad kanina? Baka hinanap ka ni Ellie?" Tanong ko.
"Nagpaalam naman akong uuwi na." Aniya.
"Uhmn.. ano, iyong kanina.. you mean it right?" Paninigurado ko.
He giggled. "Oo naman. Natagalan lang dahil sinigurado ko muna ang feelings ko sayo at ang feelings mo para sakin." He said.
"Ang tagal naman masyado. So? Kanina mo lang na confirm?" I pouted.
"Weeks ago na-confirm ko na agad. The moment you came with Diego. Ang saya mong kasama sya matapos mong sabihing gusto mo ako. Naguluhan ako dahil parang hindi ka naman sigurado. Nainis ako nang nalaman kong nakakatext mo sya, nakikita pa kitang nakangiti habang kausap sya. Tapos sabi mo 'you like him.' Damn, akala ko talaga niloloko mo lang ako pero ibang-iba ang mga sinasabi mo saakin. Your words enlightened me. " he said and I can't help but to smile.
"And then..?" I ask.. asking for more.
"Alam kong gusto na rin kita. Pinigilan ko ang sarili ko dahil hindi naman tayo bagay. Bodyguard mo ako at dapat ay binabantayan kita at hindi sinasalakay. Pero sobra ang pagka-inis ko ng sumama ka sakanya at pinili mo sya kaysa sakin sa mall. Sinama pa naman kita para makapaglibang ka. Sinama kita para makasama ka pero hindi mo ako pinili. Nainis din ako sayo. Dahil sabi mo gusto mo ako pero mas gusto mo syang kasama kaysa sakin." He sighed.
"Ginawa ko lang iyon para kalimutan ka. " sagot ko.
"Anyway, I like your drawing." He said and winked.
Ibinaba ko ang tasang may laman ng hot choco sa katabing upuan ay saka sya hinarap.
"Tinago mo?" Tanong ko.
"Oo. Balak ko nga sanang ipa-frame pa iyon. " he answered.
"Hala? Ang pangit non e! Gagawan nalang kita ng bago." Sagot ko.
"Nah. I like that one eventhough, there's a not so thick shade of devils horn on my head." He said
I laughed. Nilagyan ko nga iyon mg sungay dahil naiinis ako sakanya.
"Galit kasi ako sayo non." I answered and he just laughed.
"Oh oh! You owe me an apple pie." Sabi ko. Kumunot ang noo nya
"Iyong apple pie na pinadala ni Diego sakin hindi naman nakarating." I pouted.
"Oh that? " he asks
"Tinapon mo?"
"Hindi. Ibinigay ko sa mga bata sa kalye." He said
"Sakin dapat iyon e." I pouted and he just laughed.
Namayani sandali ang katahimikan saaming dalawa. The noise of the insects around was the only noise that we could hear in the very moment. This were so unlikely in Manila.
I cleared my throat before I speak.
"W-What are we now?" I asks him.
He just look at me and then he divert his gaze. I am waiting for his answer and I am thirsty to hear it coming in his own mouth. "I am still your bodyguard, and you're the damsel in distress, who needs a knight in shining armor which is me." He said and chuckled
Napairap ako. What? Seryoso ba sya? Aren't we dating now? Gosh? Ano ito? Mutual feelings pero walang magbabago? Hindi nya ako jojowain? Hindi ba?
"Sinasabi mo bang walang magbabago?" I asks and I can't help but to have hopes that something was about to change.
"Wala. Meron ba dapat?" Seryoso nitong wika. Bigla ay nainis na naman ako sakanya. Hindi ko sya maintindihan minsan!
Naiinis akong tumayo, tinignan lamang nya ako.
"Bahala ka nga sa buhay mo! Gusto ko na umuwi sa Manila!" Asik ko sakanya.
Tumalikod ako at hahakbang pa lamang ako ng hawakan nya ang braso ko at hatakin iyon kaya napaupo ako sakanyang kandungan.
He encircled his hand on my waist, my body froze when he place his head on my neck.
"A-ano ba? B-bitaw nga." Nauutal kong wika. Imbis na luwagan ang pagkakayakap sakin ay mas hinigpitan pa nya.
"I am just kidding, Ace. I like you and I am gonna court you." He said and look to me.
"A-ano? Manliligaw ka sakin?" Tanong ko, kinakabahan.
"Oo. Liligawan muna kita dahil iyon ang dapat. Deserves mo ang best" he said.
"Sinasagot na agad kita, Ram. Wag ka ng manligaw. Mutual feelings naman e." I pouted. My voice sounds like I really like him. Gosh! Why it seems like I am the one who's obsessed here?
"Silly. " he said and he even pinch my nose.
"So, you're now my boyfriend?" Nagagalak kong tanong. He chuckled and I found it sexy. Oh my gosh! I am so inlove with this man.
"Yeah. And you're now my girlfriend." He said and smile.
"Can I kiss you?" I asks.
At this very moment, I wanna pinch myself for being so blunt.
"No." He said.
Napairap ako. "Ang ending ba ay ako ang lalaki? Ako ba ang magfi-first move?" I pouted in annoyance.
"You're driving me crazy, Ace. Stop using your charm on me. I am losing my control e" he said and it makes me smile.
As I look at him, he's looking on my lips. I gulp when I look on his parted lips. Oh my gosh? Is he going to kiss me right now?
I closed my eyes until I feel his lips touch mine. I anchor my arms on his nape and dippen the kiss. I feel so thirsty on his kisses that I admire since I realise that I like him. He move his lips and I don't hesitate to follow the movement that he's doing. He seems like a good kisser and I wonder if he ever kissed Ellie like this. I wonder if they used their tongue to make their kiss passionate.
I gasped for air when our lips apart.
He smiled and he kissed my forehead.
"I knew it, your lips are really sweet and soft as I thought." He said
I chuckled. "Hmn. Ang galing mong humalik, kanino ka nagpraktis? Kay Ellie ba?" Tanong ko.
He laughed. "I'm good on things, Ace. I learned fast." He winked. I rolled my eyes.
"Tsk."
"Am I your first kiss?" I ask him
I wanna know. Well, he's a man and I am not surprised when he admit that I am not his first kiss afterall. He's a man with needs. Kung ako nga na babae ay hindi sya ang first kiss ko e.
"Hmnn. Kailangan bang pag-usapan natin yan?" He asks while putting tge strand on my hair in the back of my ear.
"Syempre. Bakit? Alam ko namang hindi ako. Gusto ko lang marinig mula sayo." Sagot ko.
"Alright. Ellie is my first kiss." He said
I thought, I am not going to be surprised but what I feel at this very moment was shock. So it's Ellie. The pang in my chest rebuild again.
"It's not important now. You're my last anyway." He said and smile
Tumango ako at pilit na ngumiti. Dapat na akong masanay, dahil malaki ang naging parte ni Ellie sa buhay nya. Sa ngayon, pipilitin kong punan ang pwestong iniwan ni Ellie sa puso nya.
I kissed him on his lips. It was smack but he dippened it. I moaned in pleasure of the intensity that he keeps on giving me.
Nang muling maghiwalay ang labi namin ay pareho kaming natawa.
"We should sleep now. " he said and he guided me to stood up.
Tumayo kami at hinatid nya ako hanggang sa pintuan ng kwarto ko.
"Sleep now." He said an he kissed my forehead. I smile.
"You too. Goodnight, lover boy." I said and winked
Pumasok na ako sa loob ng kwarto at saka sumubsob sa unan. The feeling that I feel today makes me smile and makes me feel so happy.
---
6:04am iyon ang oras nang magising ako. As I computed, I only got almost 6 hours of sleep and yet, I don't feel bad today. Kahit kulang ang tulog ko ay maganda pa rin ang mood ko, siguro dahil ang saya ko kagabi.
Inayos ko ang sarili ko at siniguradong presentableng haharap sa boyfriend ko mamaya sa kusina para mag breakfast
6:30 ay natapos ako sa pag-aayos at naisipan ko ng lumabas. Dumiretso kaagad sa kusina at tama nga ako dahil naroon si Ram.
Nagtama ang paninggin naming dalawa, hindi gaya ng dati na nag-iiwas ako sa tuwing masasalubong ko ang mga mata nyang iyon. Pero ngayon, ay gusto ko ng pakatitigan iyon. I smiled at him when he smiled at me. He look on the chair besides him like he was saying that I should sit next to him and I did. The food wasn't prepared yet.
"Ang aga kong nagising hija. Kumusta ang party?" Tanong ng mama ni Ram
"Okay po. Masaya po." I said and smiled.
"Anak, naka-usap ka na ni Ellie?" His mom ask.
Kahit yata anong gawin ko ay hindi maiaalis sa bahay na ito ang pangalang Ellie, kahit anong takip ko rito ay nangingibabaw pa rin si Ellie. Sana ako nalang ang nauna.
I sighed.
"Opo 'ma. Maayos naman sya. Nakuha na nya ang master degree na inaasam nya." He answered.
"Really? Ang talino din talaga ng batang iyon." Komento pa ni tita.
"Ano ba ang tinapos nya?" Hindi ko naitikom ang bibig ko at naitanong ko iyon. Na-curious kasi ako sa pagkakasabi ng mama nito na matalino si Ellie-- siguro nga, kumpara lang sakin baka di hamak na matalino si Ellie.
"Accountant si Ellie." Sagot ni Ram saakin.
Accountant, oh so she's good in math? In balancing? And she's good in numbers?
"Ah okay." Sagot ko.
I hate it when insecurities killing me. Hindi dapat ako nakakaramdam ng ganito. Siguro dahil naisip ko na mas bagay sila ni Ellie, parehas matalino at may maipagmamalaki.
I sighed on my own thoughts.
"Nasabi sakin ng Papa mo na inimbitahan ka daw mag dinner mamaya sa mansyon ni Mayor?" His mother asks
Hindi ko alam iyon? Ibig sabihin pala magkikita nanaman sila ni Ellie?.
"Opo. Pero hindi ako pupunta." Aniya
"Bakit naman?" His mom asks
"May mas importante akong gagawin mamaya ma. " he answered.
Hindi ako kumibo. Medyo natuwa ako sa part na hindi sila magkikita ni Ellie mamaya, at the same time nalungkot. May gagawin pala sya mamaya.
"Balak kong ipasyal sa buong lungsod si Ace, ilang buwan na din sya dito at hindi ko pa sya naipapasyal." He said and looked at me
As I see reflection in his eyes, I smiled. Maybe Ellie played a big role in Ram's past, but as of now, I have the role and I wouldn't lose the chance. I won't let someone to stole ot from me.
I like being his girlfriend. I like having his full attention. I like being with him. I like being his priority. I like being Raise Acelle Davis.
Because at this very moment, I know that many things are changed. And I love the changes that's happening today and for tomorrow.
✔