He looked at her sleeping on his chest as he caressed her hair. He couldn't sleep the whole night as first of all he was sitting and she was sleeping on him, second, he finally realised how much pain his girl was hiding inside. She was not someone whom he thought to be. Long gone was her childishness as he saw an entirely different shade of her, last night.
He slowly separated her from him but she opened her eyes with a jerk before shaking her head and tightening her hold on him. Apparently she was scared to even leave him.
“I'm not going anywhere” He whispered and she looked at him with puffed up eyes.
“Look at your face. Arnav should see you now. He'll kill me without even telling the reason” He told and she smiled looking at him.
“Finally! You smiled” He told and she kept her head on his chest.
“If Papa loved maasi so much, how could he accept mumma? Did his love for her die so soon? I was born exactly an year after their marriage which meant I was concieved almost two months after their marriage. How can Papa forget maasi so soon? Didn't Papa love her? Is this his love?” She asked. This was haunting her from last night when Shivaay told everything to her.
“Do you think so low of uncle? He loved aunty more than anything in this world. Uncle took more time than Arnav to accept Radha aunty. You were born out of artificial insemination not out of their love. Uncle was ready to do that just to save Arnav. Doctors suggested that may be the coming of a baby can help to save Arnav and they both were ready to do anything for Arnav. Don't have a misconception about your Papa” he told and she looked at him with wide eyes.
“B-but Papa and mumma loves each other”
“So? Love can't happen twice?” He asked and she looked away.
“So you'll also?” She asked softly.
“Look at me” He told and she did slowly.
He took her palm and kept it on his chest. She took her hand back immediately as she felt his heart slamming against her palm.
“What do you feel?” He asked and she looked at him with wide eyes.
“Don't ask this question again. The way my heart beats and the way my breath shortens is not in my control” He told and she hugged him tightly before kissing his chest.
“I won't” She whispered and he closed his eyes as he kept the tears in captivation of his eyes before it could fall.
When she felt his heartbeats turn calm, she spoke.
“Don't tell bhaiyya that I know everything. He'll be hurt if he ever comes to know this” She told softly.
“Especially if he comes to know that I have been bottling up everything in mind all these years” She told.
“Will you say?” She asked and he sighed.
“He has the right to know at least now. Everything happened in front of me and only I know how much he has gone through. You gave him the will to live and——”
“I know but if he comes to know that all these years—— I can't. Let it be like this” She told as her voice choked and he kissed her forehead.
“Will you tell him?”
“You're making it difficult for me” He told and she sighed.
“I shouldn't have put you in this situation. I couldn't help it. I just blurted out everything and——I'm sorry”
“You should be sorry——” He told and she looked down.
“——For keeping everything in your mind all these years and bearing the torture alone. Arnav had me and Khushi, to say everything and to cry about it. Whom did you have?” He asked and she smiled.
“My teddy bears. They know all my secrets” She told and he chuckled.
“Do you have so many secrets?”
“Ha what do you think about me? I have so many secrets” She told.
“Come-on let me hear”
“Yaya so that you can know my secrets. I won't say” She told and he chuckled.
“Do you want to go to Temple?” He asked and she shook her head.
“Why? You go there to calm your mind right?” He asked confused.
“I can't go” She told looking away.
“I'll take you. You get ready” He told and she shook her head.
“I can't go”
“Why? I'll also come with you” He told and she looked at him for sometime.
“I. Can't. Go” She told gritting her teeth and he made an expression of realization.
“Oh! You can't go! Ok” He told as he bit his tongue and she nodded.
“What's the time now?” She asked and he looked at the clock.
“4”
“Why are we talking like this? I want to sleep” She told with a frown.
“I'm not feeling sleepy. I'll just go and get a cup of coffee” He told and she nodded.
“So you get down” He told but she shook her head.
“Don't you think you're hugging me a lot nowadays. Ah! How can I forget the sweet kisses I got yesterday” He told and she blushed as he hid her face in his chest.
“Don't you think it's my right to hug you and kiss you?” She asked blushing.
“Oh sure it's your right but now I need a cup of coffee badly. I'll get it and come back quickly. Then you can hug me to your heart's content” He told but she shook her head again.
“Alright” He told with a sigh and she smiled before getting off him to the bed and lying down there.
When her warmth left, he felt that void in him. Slowly stretching his arms and legs, he got down the bed and turned to look at her. She smiled and he shook his head before carrying her off the bed making her gasp.
“You sleep in my arms itself. I like this better” He told and she blushed as she kept her head on his shoulder and arms around his neck.
“Do you remember?” He asked and she looked at him slightly.
“What?”
“You made me carry you exactly like this when you were small. Poor me!” He told and she looked confused at him.
“When?” She asked confused.
“Finally! There's something you don't remember about us. It was when we went to park. We did running race. In the sense, Me and Arnav but you got tired instead of us. You sat there adamantly telling, meh thak gayi. I won't walk more” He told and she chuckled.
“Then?”
“Arnav told you're acting and when we go, you'll come running behind us as usual but you didn't come even after Khushi walked with us. We kept turning back to look at you and you were sitting there itself with this big pout and arms crossed. Finally realising that we walked without you, you started crying and didn't stop until we came running. When Arnav was about to carry you, you told bhaiyya is bad and you won't go with him. People were looking at us as you were crying so loudly and finally having no other way, I picked you up and we almost ran from there. God! I seriously got scared at that time” He told as he made her sit on the kitchen counter to make coffee.
She chuckled and he chuckled along with her.
“Even then you didn't stop I guess. Ya right! You kept crying hugging me telling bhaiyaa is bad and all. Finally after getting a lollipop you were distracted with that and sat there without making any noise” He told laughing and she smiled looking at him.
“How old was I at that time?” She asked.
“7, I guess”
“You were just 12 right? You carried me?” She asked with wide eyes and he nodded.
“That's what I told. Poor me!” He told with a dramatic sigh and she hit his chest.
“You're saying as if I was the only one who troubled you. Didn't bhabhi do anything?” She asked.
“She wasn't as mischievous as you. In short, the award for the most troublesome kid goes to you. Ah! It's not any less now” He told shrugging and she pushed him making him chuckle.
He gave her a cup of coffee and took one for himself before standing there supporting the kitchen counter.
“If not me, whom would you have married?” She asked and he turned to her.
“I don't know. Someone of Mom's choice” He told shrugging.
“And I would have married someone of Bhaiyya's choice right” She asked.
“Then you would have married me itself” He told and she looked confused at him.
“Why?”
“Because your Bhaiyya's choice for you was always me. He had many a times told me during our university times that, if you didn't call me Bhaiyya, he would have gave his life to set us both together and I had given him good punches for saying that” He told and she looked surprised at him.
“Why you?”
“When I asked the same question to him, he asked me back, why not me. I didn't ask much but I'm curious. If you get a chance, ask him” He told and she nodded.
••|To Be Continued|••
PRECAP:
“Sweetheart, tell her where it is” Shivaay told sweetly looking at khushi who cleared her throat and looked at Anika.
“On his chest” Khushi told and Anika looked at her.
“Chest?” Anika and and khushi nodded.
“You mean here?” She asked pointing at her own chest area and khushi nodded again.
“Then how will I see? I'm not a cheapdi” Anika told shaking her head before walking off to her room muttering something on the way.