The following Saturday, my best friend, and roommate, Mark, took me shopping for some more "professional clothes" as my new boss called them.
"So how was Mr. Ward like," Mark asked as looked through the clothes racks at Marshalls.
"He was alright I guess. Nothing special," I try to sound as casual as possible.
"Aw come on, he was at least more than that. That man turns heads where ever he goes and you're going to tell me he didn't affect you in the least." Mark had done a ton of research on my boss after I came home from the interview.
"No, he didn't. Besides he's my boss, it would be unprofessional of me to think of him in any other way besides business."
"Right, if that's the way you want to play it, baby."
"Whatever," I pull out a gray blouse from the rack, "what do you think of this one."
"What are you a grandmother? Baby girl, that thing looks terrible, how do you expect to seduce your boss with that outfit."
"I'm not seducing anybody, okay. I'm not getting fired."
I've known Mark since I was in high school. He's always been the wilder one of the two of us. He broke the hearts of many girls back in high school and guys too, and it got even worse it college. He went to college to study art but ended up being a model. He's always bringing his coworkers home and practically having an orgy in his room. Man or woman he will dip his stick into anyone.
"All I'm saying is that no one can't look at that man and not think of ways just to fuck him. And, by the way, your blushing so I know you want to fuck him."
I turn around so that he won't see my face.
"No, I don't think about fucking him or anybody for that matter. Never have, never will."
"Right," he says sarcastically, "baby girl you can't hold out forever. You have to have sex someday, you can't stay a virgin forever."
"Well I plan to okay, and will you keep it down, you don't have to tell everyone my sexual status. Besides, the only person I'm ever going to sleep with is my husband and since I haven't found him I'm staying just the way I am."
"There we go again with that nun stuff."
As a child, I went to an all-girls Catholic school for elementary through middle school. But after that my mom thought it would be better if I went to public school for high school instead. She thought that it was better to mix things up because it would help me more when I went into the "real world". And that's when I met Mark. He tried to hit on me and I punched him in the nose. I thought he would have been mad, but instead he laugh and said I had spunk.
"Whoever waits till they are married to have sex are either crazy or CRAZY! I mean what if you don't get married till your sixty, are you really gonna wait thirty-six more years to have sex. Your twenty-four okay. Baby girl, you're not getting any younger. Please get laid! If not for you then for me."
"Why would I get laid for you?"
"Because you love me so much. Also, if you don't fuck that man I will."
"Mark, I don't think my boss is gay."
"Trust me, honey, if anyone can turn a straight man gay, it's me."
"Haha, you're so sure of yourself."
"Ugh, there is nothing here that screams you. He's just going to have to accept that you dress differently than those other posh people that work there."Finding but nothing, Mark and I leave to go have lunch.