"What's up with you Elle?" Yazmin asks me while I slump over my seat, playing with my mashed potatoes.
"Nothing," I mutter.
"Is it Jay?" Violet presses with a frown. "What did he do?"
I perk up at the sound of his name even though I'm still pissed at him for telling me he's leaving Ohio, literally weeks before graduation. "No, just my parents," I lie to them since I don't have the energy nor can I tell them that Jay is leaving me for my safety and the mafia.
I mean, I wasn't fully lying. A part of me was bothered by my parents need to mock me back into getting back with Seth.
"Where is he anyways?" Toby, who was sitting next to Vi, asked.
I shrug my shoulders while my attention suddenly turns to the beach blonde guy approaching our table.
"Hey guys," Seth says quietly with a small smile on his face.
Everyone whips their heads to my expressionless face before greeting him cautiously. They're good friends for that but there is no need.
"Is it okay if I sit with you guys today?" he tempts himself to ask with his gaze on me. "I just want us to be civil"
I purse my lips together before signaling that the seat across from me is free. "Sure," I tell him nonchantly.
It's been months since the day on the porch where I told him about my lost feelings and found out that he had once cheated on me anyways. It stung because it was Seth, someone I trusted from inside and out. Now, I knew better.
However, today I didn't even care. My mind was on Jay who was just about to stride towards our table before his jaw clenched when seeing the blonde boy sitting across from me with the goofy smile on his face. Jay changed direction and went towards the lunch line to grab something and left the cafeteria with angry steps.
My heart clutched. We hadn't spoken since the "abduction". I had ignored Jays text messages because I knew if Jay made a decision, it was a done deal. He would just tell us to enjoy the last few days together and I didn't want that. I wanted to spend another eternity with the guy. But, he was ready to let all that go and that really stung.
"Trouble in paradise?" Seth's voice murmurs while I break out of my trance. He was obviously studying me while the others joked about something I wasn't even listening to.
"Maybe because you're sitting at our table," I squint at him annoyed.
Seths blonde eyebrows furrowed, "I'm sorry. I didn't think about that. Elle, I truly am sorry for everything"
I don't want to tell him it's okay because it's not. However, I don't wanna be a hypocrite either so I tell him, "Okay, Seth just forget it. It's fine".
"You love him," Seth states and I drop my fork while my face muscles tense.
I sense a couple of the others overhear but they keep their butts out of it.
His eyes are stormier than usual but his face is completely calm as if he has finally come to terms with the statement.
I don't say anything and he senses my awkwardness. "So, where are you going to college?" he asks me.
This is an easy answer and part of my plan to stay with Jay. Even if he doesn't want me coming, "I'm going to Julliard," I tell him while a smile breaks onto my face.
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After school, I sped over to Jay's house knowing that he wasn't there. Vinny was the one I was looking for. He opens the door with surprise in his face probably since I haven't been around in a while.
"We need to talk," I say rushed while letting myself in.
"What's up?" he asks with his forest green eyes studying me.
"I need your help with Jay," I tell him suddenly feeling bad that our first long conversation would consist of me asking him for something.
Vinny leans his arms against the dinner table that I have never seen them use before. "Is this about him going back to New York?"
I nod helplessy while my heart drops just thinking about it again. "He can't just leave now out of the blue before graduation," I explain, flailing my arms around.
Vinny crosses his arms and purses his lips. "I agree," he replies shortly before my head shot back up to his direction.
"Really?" I breathe out. I know Vinny wanted the best for him but not even Vinny could hold him back from the mafia.
"I'm gonna talk some sense into him. He just wants to go before something else happens to you. But honestly Ella, I think going now out of the blue is worse. Also, we'll be needed back in New York anyways after he graduates. That was the deal with Francisco," he explains.
"I'm going to New York with you guys after. I'm going to Julliard," I tell him promptly.
He frowns at my words, "Do you know what you're getting yourself into by being in New York and being with Jay?"
"I know exactly what I'm doing," I answer. Actually, I don't. All I know my heart was telling me to be with Jay whatever the circumstances.
"You're going to be dragged into this world whether you like it or not," Vinny warns.
"I know," I gulp. "But, he's worth it. Vinny, please just talk to him. He won't listen to me," I plead, blinking back the water forming in my eyes.
"Okay," he answers softly. "Did you know that he got into Columbia?" Vinny suddenly asks me with a proud look on his face.
Jay applied to college? He actually gave it a try.
By the looks of my face, Vinny realized that I didn't know. "Yeah, no. I didn't know either," he chuckled while scratching the back of his neck. "I saw it in the study the other day," he finishes. "The kid is so damn smart. He shouldn't be mixed in my shitty world," he finishes with a grimace.
"He can't even go to college, can he?" I slowly say, feeling disappointed.
"Well, officially no. However, I wanna talk to Francisco to let him go while he still does his job. I'm gonna tell him some bullshit how it's a good coverup and a way to find more contacts for the Circle. See, Franciscos the big bad boss but he doesn't know much about the youngsters and I still haven't broken his trust," he smirks.
"You would really do that for Jay?" I ask in admiration at the man in front of me with a buzzcut and scar under his eye.
"I would do anything for family," he says seriously.
This man who would have you judge him negatively by his looks left me in awe with our conversation. The saying really was right. Never judge a book by its cover. Vinny was a softy at heart for the people closest to him.
----------------------------------------------------
That night I tossed and turned in bed with sleep far from my mind. I was dying to know if Vinny had already talked to him. Finally, making myself to flip to one last side of the bed, I force my eyes to squeeze shut. It's footsteps in the hallway that startle me and make me catch my breath.
There was no way in hell that my parents were up and wandering on the far side of the house where my bedroom was. A startling feeling in me told me that I was going to get abducted again- I scurried up to close my door slowly before a foot stopped me.
My face slams into the chest of the intruder and I let out a shriek. Warm calloused hands touch my shoulder gently, hushing me.
Jay tenses as he sees how horried I was and I quickly wipe a tear away to pretend I wasn't that scared. "You thought I was an intruder, didn't you?" he frowned probably cursing himself mentally for ever putting me in such a situation.
It's not your fault baby.
"No," I chuckle nervously. "Just had a bad dream. What are you doing here?" I ask him while my face lit up at the sight of him.
He's wearing a leather jacket with black jeans and white sneakers. His hair is beautifully toussled as usual but his eyes look seriously tired. He looks like he was out the whole day and about to pass out from exhaustion. My hand immediately went to his to lead him to my bed.
"I wanted to see you. I hate that you're avoiding me even though you should be," he mutters, looking away to the side with a clenched jaw.
"Jay, I'm not avoiding you for that reason because you know how I stand on that. You won't listen to me so I had to do things my way," I shrugged, running my hand over his. My heart flutters at the touch of our skin. I feel at peace again when he is near me. I need this peace.
"You talked to Vinny," he states with an expressionless face. Was he mad about it?
"Yes, I did," I say cautiously. "And he's on my side"
Jay chuckles darkly, "This isn't about sides like in some teen movie. And this is my choice. My father would love to have me back this second," he finishes.
"I know you applied to college," I tell him suddenly. "You wanna go to college"
Jay purses his lips while leaning with his elbows on my bed. "Yeah, I just tried it out," he admitted with a softened face.
"Vinny says you could have a chance at going and still working in the family business," I say with a glimmer of hope.
"Yeah, maybe," he nods meeting my eyes. "I will stay till graduation," he decides.
I squeal and jump onto him into his arms. My arms wrap around his neck while he grunts in surprise with his hands on my exposed waist. Excited shivers go up my spine when we touch.
"But, that doesn't mean that I want you with me in New York," he suddenly says coldy through my hair.
I freeze, taking in his words. I guess I didn't win.
"Stop doing that," I snap at him, getting away from his embrace. I take as much distance I can from him in my bed.
"What?" he huffs, looking ticked off.
"Stop pushing me away from you," I hiss.
"Ella," he groans. "I'm doing the best thing for us."
"It's not the best thing for me," I tell him, crossing my arms. "You can't keep me away from Julliard anyways,"I smirk.
"It's the best thing for me," he spits out. My heart stops. Hearing him say that shattered me in that moment. I try to meet his eyes but he stares intently at the picture on my wall with a clenched jaw.
I breathe out in complete and utter frustration. "Jay, please don't do this to me. I have never felt with anyone the way I feel when I'm with you. I need you in my life," I tell him, spitting my guts out. It's gut-wrenching but at the same time I feel a weight lift off my shoulders.
The darkened storm in his eyes evaporate and the skies in them clear again.
"I'm sorry, I was talking bullshit. It's not the best thing for me," he softly says, grabbing my arm so I fall down onto his laying chest.
"Why would you even say that," I frown, while he draws me closer.
"You don't even know how much I fucking love you," he says without even realizing. I freeze while he goes on. "I don't want you in any danger. Being with me comes with that,"
"You love me?" I breathe out, facing him sideways.
Jay tenses, finally realizing what he said and I hope he never takes it back.
His head lifts up from the bed and his finger draws my chin towards him. He gives me the most intent look ever before telling me, "Yes, Ella, I love you. He pauses for a second as if gathering his thoughts. "I love you so fucking much, you'll never know," he whispers with his guard let down. For the first time. For me.
"I love you too," I whimper, wrapping my hands around his neck once again.
He brightens up at the sound of those four words and my heart does backflips watching him.
"I just wanna protect you," he murmurs, drawing circles on my back.
"You are by being with me. You've saved me, so you don't even know. I want everything with you regardless of the circumstances," I tell him firmly while pressing my forehead against his. "Don't push me away,"
He nods solemnly and kisses the tip of my nose. Then, I nuzzle myself towards him and kiss him as if it's the last time. His lips are soft and they immediately mesh with mine. I've missed their warmth along with his cool minty breath.
"I love you," he breathes out after pulling away, his eyes full of passion. "Sorry, I have to say it again"
"Don't stop," I whisper before we both peacefully drift off to sleep.
ONLY A FEW CHAPTERS LEFT❤️ PLEASE LEAVE A VOTE AND COMMENT!