ESZTER WAS DROWNING, BUT NO ONE SAW HER STRUGGLING. Unfortunately, no one notices her tears. No one notices her sadness. No one notices her pain. To mask a smile on her face and pretend she was okay, but really, she was breaking more and more. It was the loneliest and uttermost depressing feeling to watch her whole world fall apart at such a young age and to think her life was getting good after her parents' death. Eszter was devastatingly wrong.
And what does she do? Stare blankly or with a smile on her face.
To wish she'd feel the same kind of concern she felt for others, it never felt reciprocated. That, and because Eszter hates admitting her vulnerability, a bomb demolished their apartment and killed her parents when she was vulnerable. Then, she put her trust into a robot seeking revenge, but only to get her brother killed, and Eszter didn't do anything to stop it.
That's it, Eszter had realized. I'm the blame for Pietro's death.
Attached to her like a leech, the Devil and Death lingered in the darkness and took everything and everyone she ever loved, seeming to enjoy the pain it brought to Eszter. Never in her God-forsaken life has Eszter truly felt happy. She thought she did for a while, but who is she kidding? Eszter is miserable. But of course, no one knew that because the enhanced had a way of hiding her emotions--also because no one could feel emotions like Eszter can.
However, Wanda's telepathic abilities somehow didn't cross Eszter's mind because she's her sister, and she could never be angry at her sister. Eszter was turning a blind eye.
The memory of her mama and papa sitting on the couch, oblivious to the bomb that aimed for their heads, and within seconds, it crashed into their apartment, snatching the parents away from three little children. Eszter remembers that night as if it were yesterday--it would reply in her mind at night, but somehow, the enhanced would push it to the very back of her mind. But it was haunting her all over again.
She was being tormented by memories.
The bombing. Hydra. Ultron. Sokovia. Pietro. Thanos. The Blip. The battle. Tony--God, Tony.
Each death after her powers, Eszter could've prevented them, but then again, the enhanced never did. Why didn't she? She could've saved Pietro that day, but all she did was scream and cry, begging for him to wake up. Acting as if she couldn't have protected her brother. But no, Eszter had protected herself.
It should've been me.
But Thanos came along, tormenting Eszter's life since he abruptly appeared into her mind, manipulating her and nearly creating a monster from a few words and pictures. Eszter believes him now. She is a monster, and she was destined to become something horrible than she imagined. She's a killer, whether she likes it or not, Eszter has blood on her hands, and no one can deny that.
Eszter killed Pietro.
Sometimes, Eszter would often wonder what would've happened if she did take Thanos' offer; to become something so unrecognizable, Eszter would've had more power than she ever imagined. Maybe if she had, she could've found a way to bring back Pietro, to bring back Tony.
Thanos could've taught Eszter the way of her powers, seeing as he knew so much then she. The Titan would've answered all her questions, but she was so scared of herself, Eszter cowered the whole time. She was weak, and Eszter couldn't bring herself to be the hero when they needed her the most.
Eszter should've killed Thanos when she had the chance--all that pent-up anger, grief-- she could've used that to her will. Bending the emotions to her sickly games, to torment Thanos with a mere swish of her hand, and boom! Thanos is her mere puppet. The dark thoughts of death ruled Eszter's mind, and all she wished was to give Thanos proper torture, but then the sunshine rose.
Peter somehow lit up the shadows of the darkness lurking in Eszter's mind, being the only light to guide the girl through her horrid thoughts and into the clearing. Peter has this strange way of calming Eszter, and she often held that feeling close to her heart. He grounded the enhanced when her mind slipped into this state of mind, and it was much appreciated because Eszter would be terrified of herself.
After Eszter had wept and sobbed on some rooftop, the enhanced had teleported herself back to her own room, void of the world and herself. Eszter sat on her bed like a hermit, holding her legs tightly to her chest as she stared blankly at the wall across from the room, throat raw and eyes swollen. She had cried for hours and hours, feeling a bit destructive. Eszter hadn't realized she managed to destroy the empty building she hid at out of blind rage. All Eszter knew is she needed to release some steam, and the unlucky building was unfortunate to feel the enhanced's wrath--however, Eszter has no idea how expensive and historic the building was.
Nevertheless, Eszter had been hiding in her hotel room and hadn't bothered to inform anyone of her presence, preferring to be alone and unbothered for the time being. However, the silence had been cut short. A loud ringing of Eszter's phone cuts through the silence and practically shrieks in her ears. Cranking her neck down to her side where her phone sat, Eszter scowled at the annoying sound as she wished it would stop ringing. Not wanting to speak to anyone, Eszter wanted to let it ring through until forcing the caller to the voicemail, but curiosity crosses her mind.
Flipping her phone over with her thumb, Eszter stared stoically at the ID listed on top. After a couple of rings later, Eszter finally accepted the call and slowly lifted it to her ear, holding the phone in place. She stared silent, afraid to speak because her voice was so hoarse; Eszter didn't want them to hear that she'd been crying all night.
"Essie, hi!"
Morgan's chirpy voice cuts through the line, nearly making Eszter grimace from the squealing noise that shrieked sharply in her ear. The enhanced pulled the phone away a bit but mustered a small chuckle as she dips her head down, resting her forehead on her knees. A sad smile trembled on her lips when a rush of an emotional feeling coursed through her head and heart, hitting Eszter like a wave.
"Hi, Morgan," Eszter greets through her tears. She chewed on her bottom lip, preventing herself from breaking into a full fit of tears, which would scare and alert Morgan. Swallowing thickly, Eszter lifted her head and held it up with her hand. "How are you?"
"Good, but I'm soo bored!" No doubt Morgan was most likely pouting through the phone. The way her brows would burrow a bit and her doe-eyes would narrow like she was trying to glare, and her chubby cheeks puffed out as she pouts. "Mommy is working, and I have no one to play with. When are you coming home?"
Unable to stay silent, Eszter sniffled a little too loud, and a stream of tears suddenly escaped her eyes and falling on her cheeks, but she didn't have the energy to clean them. "Uh . . . not for a while, Mo," her voice wavered. A part of her hoped Morgan wouldn't recognize what crying would sound like through the phone, but the little girl definitely knows when Eszter's sad. "I'm sure you have plenty of friends to hang out with. Did you try calling them?"
Luckily, Morgan hadn't noticed. "Yes! None of them can play, and now I'm bored," Eszter clenches her eyes shut when a wave of sadness overwhelmed her, so the enhanced bites her lip to contain the sobs that shook her body. "Mommy says that you'll be home soon, but I want you now, you know? It's so boring! I bet you're having more fun than me."
Eszter can picture Morgan pouting.
"No, I can never have fun without you," Eszter laughs through her tears. Sniffling again, Eszter wipes her face, but the tears merely smear across her face. "It's not as fun as you'd think. They got me doing . . . homework--" Morgan ew's with a strong hint of exaggeration. This brought a smile to Eszter's face, but the enhanced holds her hand flat against her face, thinking too much. "I know. It's not fun. I was hoping to enjoy the trip, too."
"WIth Pete!"
Eszter blushes even through her tears, somehow finding a heart at the sheer thought of Peter. However, she regrets telling Morgan about dating Peter because as soon as the little girl discovered the concept, she went absolutely mad at the fact. For a while, Morgan thought it was gross because cooties, but Morgan loves Peter since he was so nice and sweet. Not to mention, Peter makes Eszter so happy, Morgan somehow understood it--with the help from her princess movies.
"Yeah, Mo. With Pete."
"Are you guys gonna get married?"
"I don't know," Eszter nearly whispered.
There's a quick pause between the two, giving Eszter the moment to compose herself, but the enhanced wasn't in the right state of mind.
"Hey, Essie?"
Eszter doesn't move from her position. "Yeah?"
"Are you sad?"
This time, it was Eszter's turn to go silent. Was she supposed to lie? Morgan wouldn't even understand either way, but she could mention it to Pepper.
But for some reason, there was a strong need to confess and get this overwhelming weight off her chest. "Yeah. Yeah, Mo, I--I am sad," Eszter nearly sobbed again, but she sucked in a sharp breath through her teeth. She ran her hands through her hair, scrunching her face together at the painful feeling of the mental attacks she was feeling.
"Why?"
"Sometimes people hold in things when they shouldn't, and it builds up for so long, and--" Eszter stops at the feeling of her throat closing up. She raises her fist to her lips, pressing it harshly against her skin as she started choking up. "--sometimes, we think we're strong enough to keep going, but . . . sometimes, we're not."
"You know what cheers me up?"
A distant smile tugs at her lips. "Cheeseburgers."
"Cheeseburgers! Yes!" Morgan chirped. "It will make you feel all better!"
"Hey, Mo?" There was a chirp of response. "Can you do me a huge favor and keep this between you and me? I don't want to worry Pepper or anyone else, okay. This is our secret, got it?"
Although she was confused, there was a beaming response. "I will! I'm good at keeping secrets!"
There was a knock sounding at Eszter's door for the first time since Eszter had arrived, catching the enhanced's attention; she was baffled to hear someone approach her room in so long, but Eszter didn't move. She squints her eyes at the door, but then her eyes settled upon realizing who was behind the door.
Ultimately, Eszter flicks her wrist, and the door was opening on its own before she was wiping her face clean from the tears that stained her cheeks. Lowering her gaze, Eszter avoided Peter's as he excitedly entered her room, seeming to be in a brighter mood than she. Oblivious to Eszter's mood and the way she had abruptly ran away. It was like that had swooped out of Peter's mind, and he was properly happier with his night.
"Hey, Mo, Peter's here, so I gotta--"
"I wanna talk to him!" Morgan screams through the line.
Peter beams excitedly, bouncing on his toes as he pointed at the door, still completely clueless. However, he raises a brow when Eszter offers her phone to Peter. "Mo wants to talk to you," Eszter meekly speaks up. Peter chuckles at that, imagining Morgan begging. "She won't let me hang up unless you do."
The tone in Eszter's voice was dimming back down into the monotonous tone, and she lacked any kind of emotion; the enhanced was feeling depressed all over again, but Eszter wasn't sure if she wanted Peter to know. It was the mere fact that he hasn't noticed himself that was what made Eszter a bit peeved, and if he did, she wondered why he hasn't bothered to annoy her for answers.
Snagging the phone, Peter was beaming. "Dude, of course, I can talk to her," he presses the phone against his ear. "Hey, Morgana! What's up, kiddo?" There was a pause. "Oh, that's cool! Yeah--wait, what? Oh, oh. Uh . . ." Peter blushes awkwardly. "I--I don't know what to say about that, sorry. Alright. We'll call you back, okay? Eszter and I have plans tonight." Eszter snaps her neck when she abruptly looked at Peter, confused because plans? "Okay. Bye."
Peter drops Eszter's phone on the bed as she furrowed her brows, glancing up at her boyfriend with a whole other look, making the boy feel more nervous. He didn't like the way Eszter was staring at him like he had done something wrong, but she doesn't know what happened, right? There was no way she'd know so soon. Peter kept his mouth shut, not wanting to say anything until he was right because if he did bring it up, it might not be what Eszter is looking at him for.
"Plans?" It came out almost like a sneer, but it was unintentional.
Eyes widening, Peter was flabbergasted from the tone. "Oh, uh, I mean--uh, I just thought that we--since you know," he stutters.
Realizing what she said, Eszter shakes her head. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out like that," the girl musters a pressed smile. "I didn't know we had plans?"
Anxiously, Peter fiddles with his fingers as he smiles shyly. "Well, no, not really, but it's just a last-minute thing, I guess," Eszter hums at that, a little pleased. "I thought it would be, you know, kind of nice if we just took a walk outside. Just you and me."
Finally, Eszter smiles. "I'd like that."