I have a problem. Now it's not necessarily bad but it's a problem nonetheless.
Oh who am I kidding of course it's bad. It's terrible.
I have feelings for James Freaking Potter! Of all people it had to be him. Before, I tried to ignore these feelings but I can't deny it much longer.
The more I try to push him from my thoughts the more he seems to appear. It's hard to ignore feelings when you see the person every day.
Before, I thought it was just a small crush that would fade with time. I was, however wrong. My feelings grew stronger.
Now what's the problem with having feelings for someone? The fact that this someone is in love with another girl is one reason. He also happens to be what my family thinks is a blood traitor.
I can't even talk to Narcissa about this. I know she'll support me, but she'll also advise me to ignore my emotions. She's tried to convince me not to runaway but if I don't I'll have to get the Dark Mark.
That is not an option though. I'd rather be disowned.
I can't tell Lucius either. He'll probably kill me himself. James as well. It's not even the fact that he hates James but he's quite the overprotective brother type.
Back in 5th Year I went on a date with Fabian Prewett. Lucius found out and had an all out duel with him. I had to disarm them both myself.
I ended up having to apologize to Fabian, and although he said he forgave me, he hasn't spoken to me since. I don't blame him though.
Lucius never let me go on another date again.
A loud bang followed by a scream dragged me from my intruding thoughts. I rushed to the next corridor ready to give some detentions.
At first I thought it might have been Peeves because the corridor was empty, except for a couple of armour cases that had been knocked over.
A cloth flew off something that I immediately recognized as James' invisibility cloak. Under it had been three boys. Sirius, Remus, and Peter.
They were jumbled in a mess of limbs on the floor. Remus groaned and sat up after pushing Sirius off of him and onto Peter.
"You bloody wankers." He complained. He got up and picked up the cloak before turning to me. "Oh hello Alivia." The other two boys shot up after seeing me standing across from them.
"Hello Remus. What are you three up to?" I narrowed my eyes at them. I did not want to be caught up in the middle of one of their pranks
"Oh causing chaos. The usual." Sirius shrugged as he leaned against the wall.
"Ah I should've known." I rolled my eyes. I began to walk away but they stopped me.
"Wait Alivia." I turned around and raised an eyebrow to show they had my attention.
"Have you noticed anything wrong with James?" Remus asked.
I furrowed my eyebrows and thought back over the past week trying to see if I could recall James acting weird.
"No I don't think he has." I answered.
"He's been acting really weird lately. He's been fidgety and distracted." Remus said.
"Yeah he's been off." Sirius added. He moved his hand to scratch his head.
"It could be stress?" I offered, "exams are soon."
Sirius shrugged, contemplating the possibility. Remus seemed to be deep I thought. "Thank you Alivia. We'll let you continue your day," Remus smiled and waved goodbye. I said goodbye to the others and walked to the Heads' common room.
I climbed through the portrait hole to my common room and saw two figures sitting on one of the couches. James and Lily. They looked to be doing homework.
"James, Lily." I greeted them. They looked up. Lily smiled and waved, and James grinned.
"Finally someone to save me from this torture." James waved his arms dramatically.
I rolled my eyes. "As if." I scoffed.
Lily laughed before turning to him and hitting him lightly on the arm. "Finish your homework." She said with a stern face.
"Alivia wouldn't treat me so cruelly." James mumbled.
I laughed. "Oh no. I'd do much worse." I smirked at James and then winked at Lily when he got back to work. She laughed.
I laid on my bed in my dorm room. I could faintly hear James and Lily laughing and the thought of them having fun saddened me. I wished that would be me who could make him laugh like that. Me who could be making him happy.
He probably doesn't even think of me a that much of a friend. I know he said I am one of his friends but does he really think that? Did he change his mind?
A tapping on my window drew me from my mind. I got up and opened the window to let my owl in. I grabbed the letter and saw my family crest.
My heart dropped. They never write me unless it's important. Or I'm in trouble. I hesitantly opened the letter and read it.
Alivia,
I received information that you were planning to run away after seventh year. Is this true?
If it is, you know the consequences.
Mrs. Malfoy
No. Who would've told them? Lucius wouldn't dare. My friends wouldn't. They'll disown me. What if they kill me? What if the Dark Lord kills me?
Someone must've overheard Lucius and I the other night. I'm in trouble. I need to speak to Lucius.
My thoughts were all over the place as I ran out of my dorm room completely forgetting that James and Lily we're still in here. James got up to stop me but I ran into him and that's when I realised they were in here.
"Alivia. Alivia. Alivia!" I finally looked up at James. His eyes were wide with concern and worry. He shook me gently before continuing. "What's wrong?"
I realised then that I must've looked like I saw a ghost. The fear I felt must have surely reflected on the way I look. "I need to speak to Lucius," I whispered out. I felt the wetness on my cheeks and noticed that I'd been crying. I was shaking violently and James pulled me into a hug.
"Shhh. It's okay. You can speak to Lucius tomorrow, it's past curfew already." He tried to comfort me. I tried to ignore the thought that him and Lily had been talking far after curfew, how would she even get back without getting caught? I pushed the thoughts to the very back of my head and instead focused on the issue at hand:
My parents knew.
"I can't. I need to speak to him now." I spoke a little louder this time and with more authority. The way Mother taught me. I cursed silently at the thought that my own Mother who taught me everything is the same person who would disown me in a second.
"I'll take you to him. You're far to jumpy to make it there yourself without getting caught." I ignored his comment and nodded slightly.
We dropped Lily off at the Gryffindor common room and he led the way to the Slytherin common room. We used his invisibility cloak to get through the castle undetected.
I muttered the password so James wouldn't hear. He would undoubtedly prank a few Slytherins if him and his friends knew the password.
We walked up to the Seventh year boys dorms and I entered Lucius' one. I shook him slightly to wake him up and he startled awake. He sat up and looked between James and I.
"Come with me." I said quickly before leaving the room with both James and Lucius following me.
We stopped to talk in the common room. I turned to face them.
"Lucius." I started.
"Why did you wake me up at this time of night?" He sounded angry but his voice was laced with concern as well.
"They know." Was all I said.
Lucius' eyes widened. James still looked very confused.
"How?" He asked.
"I don't know." I started crying again. This was all too much. I am terrified and I have no clue on what do. "Someone must have overheard our conversation. Our parents know I'm going to runaway. What if they send someone to kill me? Torture me?" I couldn't finish my long list of possible ways they would punish me because Lucius pulled me into a hug.
"It's okay Livy. Don't worry. They won't kill you. I'll keep you safe." He tried to comfort me but the fear still stayed.
James, who had been quiet throughout this whole ordeal, decided to speak up. "Alivia. You can stay with me. My parents and I, we'll keep you safe. Just like with Sirius. They won't be able to hurt you."
I moved from Lucius to look at James. "Won't I be a burden?" I whispered. I felt incredibly small in the moment.
"Not at all. We'll protect you. There's still a few months until Summer. When Summer does come, you don't have to go back there. You can come with me." He reassured with a smile.
"Thank you." I whispered out before crushing him in a hug. People treated me too kindly. James is such a kind-hearted and good person. What did I do to deserve a friend like him?
"Let's get you back to your dorm." We turned to leave when Lucius stopped James.
"Take care of her." He nodded to James and kissed my forehead and then walked back to his own dorm.
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Pretty terrible chapter. I wrote this during a 6 hour car drive, one in which I felt sick. I hope you all enjoy it though. It's all unedited but I will come back to this once I am done with the story and edit and rewrite it!!
It's kind of a filler, I added the letter about her parents knowing last minute to make it more interesting so hopefully it is!!
Please vote and comment!! It really helps my story!! ^^
– mysticpanda xx