If I Love You Ain't No Question I'd Give My Last
One Day This Heart Gonna Get Me Zipped up in a BodyBag
What About ya First Love? huh She Played it Cold Didn't it?
Made a Nigga Shed a Tear and She Changed a Nigga
So We Fuck'em And Dump'em Never Trust'em Or Love'em
No Need For Friends Fuck Friends Friends turn into Bustas
Momma Gonna Tell ya When That Nigga Ain't Right (Momma Know!)
Momma Know Because She Pray Every Night
I Done And Wash My hands With all this Pussy Shit
Niggas Be Hating But Boosie Boo He Hood Rich
On Top Of That I'm a Scorpio SO I'm UnForgivable
First Time You Fuck With Me Dog I Let Them Killas Go
I'm Down and Dirty Cause a nigga Heard Me
He suppose to be dead But I Let him Slide Cause he Ain't Worthy
Father God I've been Betrayed
Feel Like They Beat me Like a Slave
But I Learn From My Mistakes
We Living in the Last Days Pray For Me Made Me Cold Hearted
Shaun P.O.V ***
It has been a few weeks since my mom funeral ..I was finally going back to school.
I havent been doing much of anything or talking to anybody but Des and Chris...they needed me the most.
I felt lost.
I sighed getting out the car and locking the door. I pulled my hood down over my head walking up to the building.
I was in all black..The mood i felt. People spoke to me and sent the condolences but i just kept walking giving head nods here and there. I lately headed inside.
" We missed you around here Shaun " I ignored her going to the back of the Classroom like the old me and sitting down.
I had to finish school...I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings..but i was so close to being done and I know this is what my momma would want.
" You doing Good ,bro ? "
" Im trying " I shrug leaning against the lockers.
" You gon be straight, dont worry " Zee tells me. I didn't say anything.
I watched as Mula headed over to me with her friends.
Lately i havent been in the mood to talk to or see people..I feel like shit.
" I been calling you "
" I know " I shrug. " I aint been feeling like talking "
" How do you expect me to help you if you wont even answer my calls or the fucking text i send " She says folding her arms.
She hasn't come by my house...but she calls and text. My dad leaves and hardly comes back..Des and Chris hardly want to be there.
" I don't want to talk im not gon answer " i say. " Maybe i dont need nobody help "
" Thats stupid..I know you hurting and shit but im trying to help your ass "
" Nah , your making shit worst coming at me like this "
I got enough going on I dont need her cussing me out added onto it. Its too fucking much and i can only take so much.
" Im making it worst? You know what, Shaun- "
" Bye, Murricia " I step past her leaving her to talk to her self. I headed down the hall way going to art.
I headed down the stairs and into the art room early.
" Hey " Ms. B says and I ignored her sitting down. " I heard about your mom...im sorry for you loss, Dashaun you know im here for if you need to get things off your chest "
" I just want to draw , okay " I say.
All i want to do is write and paint music...Thats how everybody can fucking help me..let me do that and I'll be okay.
" i can let you do that " She tells me. She went and got me fresh supplies and a canvas as the rest of the class came in.
" Thank you "
" No problem "
As she talked to everybody I started drawing whatever came from my hand..It had a mind of its own. Everybody else was zoned out and pushed to the back of my mind.
And I stayed in that class for the rest of the day...Pushing the art of me...I dont know but for some reason it made me feel so much better...I felt like i was releasing steam and getting stuff off of my chest.
" Shaun the final bell rung " Ms.B tells me cleaning up.
" Oh "
I looked at the clock on the wall gathering my stuff.
" Its beautiful "
" thank you "
There was a silence in the room as I moved about getting my things and cleaning up.
" Sh- "
" Thanks for letting me stay in here. I needed it "
" It was nothing, i just want you to br okay...you know i care about you " She spoke touching my hand. I looked down at our hands.
" Yeah, i got to go "
I grabbed the canvas sheet and my backpack and then headed off.
She looked like she wanted to talk but I wasn't in the mood for it..thankfully she kept her mouth closed and watched me walk off.
The halls were nearly empty as I walked through them with my head down heading outside. The boys were by my car and Zee when i came out.
" What you about to do? " Cali says.
" We can go blaze up and relieve some stress " Zee adds.
That sounded real good.
" Hit me later...i have to go home, Des and Chris are waiting on me " I toss my things into the back.
" Who picked them up from school? "
" My dads assistant "
He was working so she offered to get them so I didn't have leave school early and do so.
" Shaun, we got to talk "
" I don't know if this is the right place for that "
" What? " I asked .They all looked at eachother. " What the fuck is going on? "
" Man tell him cause they fucking being foul " Zee huffs.
" We dont know for sure " Marco says.
" We aint stupid either " Cali says.
" What the fuck are yall talking about " I raised my voice getting mad. Somebody better tell me whats going on. I had enough of being left out and in the dark of shit.
" We think yo daddy is fucking his assistant bitch and they have a baby, "
I shook my head.
" A baby? Why you say this? "
" when you went ghost we went over to check on chris and Des and she was there...they were under eachother and she had the baby that didn't look but a couple months old " Cali tells me.
" He looked nervous and spooked as hell to see us...i mean like when i see a cop in my review spooked " Zee says.
That couldn't be the bitch that answered the phone when my mom was dying.
And he couldn't have had a baby with her.
You cheated on my mom while she was dying...and you had another baby outside of our family.
You fucking shitted on my mother and her feelings.
My blood was boiling.
" Why didn't you tell me "
" the funeral was going on and you were broken. We was waiting for the tight time man...you know we were looking out for you "
" Okay " I nod my head. " I'll see yall later "
" Shaun- "
I got into My car slamming the door beind me and and pulling out.
My fucking life couldn't get any more wrost. Everything was going bad. I dont know what the hell else could go wrong.
I was speeding the 30 minute drive to my house and made it there less than half that. I went through the gate and saw My dads car parked .
You fucked over my mother. Who did nothing but love you unconditionally and give you everything. She put up with your shit.
I opend the garage revealing the cars.
I took the custom golf stick out the carrier and swung it on the bentley busting the windows out. I hit the doors. Windows, mirrors everything moving to the next car.
" Shaun what the fuck are you doing! Have you lost your mind " He screamed as the Benz got he same treatment.
" Have I lost my fucking mind?! Have you fucking lost yours ! You cheated on my fucking mama amd you had a baby with the bitch whos suppised to be taking messages and answering phone calls " I hit the car again.
" Deshaun talk to me! "
" Get the fuck away from me " I raise the club at him.
" Shaun "
He tried to touch me and I knocked him with the club sending him to the ground.
" Do not fucking touch me you low life peice of shit! Why couldn't it have been your sorry ass that died..why your punk ass get to live..you sorry son of a bitch " I yell.
I finished his car and moved to hers.
." Stop " She screams.
" You nasty hoe! A married man! All my momma ever was , was nice to your skinny ass ! You couldn't find more dick but a married man " I hit the window out of her BMW. " Your sorry ass too, be ashamed of yourself and the damn chid you brung into the world "
I knocked the review mirror off jumpping on top of the car hit the windows over and over.
" You sorry motherfuckers deserve eachother "
My dad was laying on the ground holding his bleeding head as she talked to him.
" Shaun! " Des and Chris screamed.
" dont cry. Daddy was being an asshole and a bully...so im taking care of it " I tell them knocking the car again. " Im doing this for us..Ad your big brother im always looking out for us...i have to protect you from sorry peices of shit like those two worthless souls "
I heard the sirens behind me but I didnt stop from finishing the cars and fucking the up
I wanted these cars to be them.
" Drop the weapon and put your hands up Where I can see the "
I swung the club again hitting the car as the tears fell.
" My mom didn't deserve that...shit didn't deserve any of that "
" If you dont drop the weapon on three " He yelled. " One...
Two... Three "
I swung it again and felt the stinging in my body ad they tazed me. I dropped to the ground shaking and they rushed to me putting the cuffs on me and my arms behind my back.
Shit couldn't get any worst.
" You have the right to remain silent.."
i was lifted off the ground and walked down the drive to the cop car and put in the back.
I had never been in a cop car before...I had never been in jail before...or hit my dad.
I just wish i could have hit him more before they caught me...He deserves it.
*
*
You know I'm down with the niggas down for me
I got two words for you, love and loyalty
It's me and my nigga tripping on a half of bean
We used to hit up wall and buy everything we see
Me and my down ass nigga getting twisted
Nigga get to tripping knock the gravy, out your biscuit
Jay know I fuck with you the long way, my nigga
So when I see you out I'm like hey, my nigga
Tried to act right, buy the case my niggas
Drink the act right and get straight with my niggas
Me and my nigga riding dirty, tryna chase them figures
Who got the yola? who got the yola? Don't matter, go figure
I said that I'm a ride for my motherfucking niggas,
*
*
Cali P.O.V **
" I feel bad for him " Zee says passing the blunt. " My nigga is going through it "
" True " Inhale. Im worried about him, i dont want him to hurt his ownself...or his daddy..by hurt I mean Kill.
Being hurt repeatedly can do something to you...you can stop thinking rationally and start going crazy.
I need my nigga go stay on the sane train.
" Man, i was lowkey scared to tell him " mMarco says. " I thought he was gon fight us "
" Nigga shut up " We laughed.
Ol scary ass..This nigga a lil bitch.
" I dont think Shaun and Mula gon last " I say shaking my head.
She was what he wanted..but the bitch is selfish and the way hes pushing everybody away..shes not the type to care and still try..like us..She just give up.
" He been wanting that girl forever "
" That don't mean shit..hes got her now. You know how like you hungry and you want something to eat but you don't feel like making it..then when after all that work of cooking and making it getting it done...you not hungry no more " I say.
" That's that loud talking nigga, you just hungry " They say laughing
" Fuck yall black asses " I say. " Yall stupid i wouldn't expect you to understand "
We sat smoking and playing the game just chilling. I calld Shaun to see if he wanted to come through still and check up on him but I didnt get a response.
The next morning at school I didnt see him..We got classes together so i was looking for him.
" Yo, you talked to Shaun ? " I asked Mula as she sat on top of the table with Dice and his Boys were sitting and her girls.
" Nah " She says.
" Have you tried? "
" Nope, i fell back like he wanted me too "
I shook my head at this silly hoe. I cant deal with Stupid people. They make a nigga head hurt.
" Yo lets go by Shaun house and Check on him " I grab Zee as he walked hy with a plate.
" Ight, i dunno where marco is " He says with his mouth full.
" Fuck it, me and you "
Together me and Zee headed out to his car and made that long ass drive to the rich side of town where Shaun stayed.
We first pulled up the gate was opened, a bmw was tore the fuck up in the drive way...shit was every where and it looked a mess.
" I think we too late " I say opening my door
" My nigga touched down and caused hell " He laughed following me up to the door.
We rung the door bell and waited..Nobody came so Zee kept pressing it over and over again.
" stop with yo ghetto ass " I smack his head. " Black people always got to make a beat out of shit "
" Who is it? "
" Zee and California " Zee says making me hit his ass.
The door opened and Shaun daddy stood with a bandage around his head.
I hhad to hold back my laugh.
" Hes not here " He tells us.
" When did he leave and how long hes been gone?" I asked.
We needed to find him before he does something stupid or something he'll regret.
" The cops picked him up yesterday "
" He in jail! "
" My boy aint jail material! He wont last in there "
" You called the cops on yo Son? " I asked him shaking my head. This nigga had some nerve. He was giving you what you needed.
" They showed up because of the noise and the fact my SON was swinging a golf club ON EVERYBODY AND EVERYTHING " he says.
" Come on lets go to the county " I tell Zee.
We left mr. Mitchell there and rushed to the car to head down to county...
Shaun ass don lost all his marbles. They scattered.
" I ttold you, I always told you..its the quiet ones you got to watch..they crazy " Zee says driving.
We headed to county and we asked about shaun. They said they were waiting to see if his dad was pressing charges.
They had him on a disruption charge and a vandalism of property. His bail was 6500.
I dont have that kind of money.
We couldn't talk to Shaun until he called us ..
I dont know what to do ...I want to help my boy , but shit 6500.
" I got like 1200 " Zee says
" I got maybe 2 grand " I say.." We close to half "
" You better start slanging dick. Them old women a pay for them young mixed niggas " He tells me.
" Chill " I tell that nigga. Im not slanging dick to nobody. Fuck that.
**************************
Poor shaun man. He just going through it. Yall leave me feedback. Xoxo.
I made a Twitter since wattpad notifications system is down nd i cant get messages. Its to let you know about updates, when things have been updated, answer questions, and talk to you guys. Sooo follow me @SHANTIIMONAY If i get 500 followers ill do special updates on all the books..maybe even double chap updates.!! So follow!!!